Why Did He Kiss Me If We Are Just Friends?

Adhideb Ghosh
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Kissing is one of the most romantic gestures that people love to perform to their loved ones. For being highly romantic, kissing has intense relations with the human hormone, hence it has a significant influence on sexual phenomena. But tbh, kissing is not limited at all to sex. There can be casual kissing, cuddle kissing, and many other types of kisses. But it’s definitely related to hormones. 

On the other hand, friendship is the purest and most important of the simplest bonding that two persons share. Irrespective of their gender when two persons platonically feel for each other, have fun with each other and create a beautiful bond without any hormonal complication, that is called friendship. 

But what if those two natural phenomena, mentioned above, clash together. What if a guy, whom you’re just friends with kisses you! Life is quite unpredictable and events in life just happen without any prior notice.

If a guy, who is just a friend, comes and kisses you, the first thing you may feel is utterly confused. As by definition, you had no kinda hormonal connection with him, you’re supposed to be surprised with this act, even before reacting. Maybe, that confusion is still revolving around your mind and now you wanna know why did he kiss you if you’re just friends. 

If you ask me this question, I would say, Proper kissing may have many different reasons relying on it. If a guy, who is your friend kisses you, maybe because he feels attracted to you. Maybe he actually likes you but is too shy or fears losing you if he confesses. It may also be just the heat of the moment. Or maybe he is just playing around with you, with no genuine emotions. 

But understanding the exact reason for his kiss isn’t so simple to understand through those few lines.  Every man is a different individual and hence they are controlled by specific individual phenomena. To understand which one works in your case, you must know the potential reasons for kissing you and learn to analyze his behavior. 

In this blog, I’m going to unveil the reasons why he kisses you despite being just a friend and hopefully all your confusions are gonna wave out.

Possible Reasons Why He Kissed You 

Your friend may have kissed you for several reasons. And, it must be you, who has to find that specific reason out. Don’t worry. I’m here to help you out with the potential reasons why he may have kissed you. 

He Likes You

Between close friends we hardly have barriers. And when a close friend starts liking you he tends to become desperate from the very first place. Maybe this friend likes you a lot and that’s why ended up kissing you. In this case, the kiss must need to be very occasional if not totally sudden.

It Was A Heat Of The Moment

As I said earlier, life is too unpredictable. We can’t say what’s gonna happen by the next moment. Maybe your two were having an intense conversation, or some romantic moment was created between you two and he ended up kissing you just due to the heat of the moment. This reason only applies when the guy has kissed you just for a single time and the situation necessarily needs to be the same as I mentioned.

He’s Sexually Attracted To You

A guy may end up kissing one of his female friends just because he’s sexually attracted to her. But please stop here. Before judging this guy further, you must understand we all are social animals. That’s why by very nature we feel attracted towards the opposite sex. 

Yeah, human beings should be able to control their biological phenomena, but he’s a friend. No, I’m not asking you to spare him, but at least don’t judge him. Rather deal with it wisely. You’re gonna learn about that too afterward in this blog.

He Thinks You Like Him

A guy, who is your friend, may have kissed you because he thinks that you like him. In this situation, he may kiss you for various reasons like to make you feel that he likes you too, or maybe to take advantage of you. 

He Wanted To Support You

Were you becoming vulnerable when he kissed you? Were you talking about something very sad? Or were you going through some trouble when he kissed you? If your answer is yes, then the guy may have kissed you just to support you morally as a friend, nothing else. In such situations, you should feel lucky to have a friend like this. 

It Was A Friendly Kiss

Sometimes, the bonding we share with our close friends becomes so intense we start feeling affectionate towards them. For you and your friend, the situation may have been the same. He may have a stable relationship, yet can kiss you just because he feels affectionate towards you. Friendly affection is a beautiful thing, and if this is your case, you have nothing to get worried about. 

Your Friend Is Nothing But A Jerk

If none of the above-mentioned reasons works for you, and your friend has continued kissing you randomly without any reason, maybe he’s nothing but a jerk. Maybe he behaves in such ways to other women too. This bad habit he developed may have become his nature. 

Meaning Of Different Kisses

After knowing the potential reasons you must understand the meaning of the type of kiss you had from this guy friend of yours. Look, Different kisses can mean different things. Some kisses show care and are platonic, while others can be romantic and passionate. So before jumping into behavioral analysis, going through this phase is very important. 

  • Kisses on cheeks indicate affection but can be purely platonic. Kissing on the cheek can indicate friendship or family relationships.
  • If someone kisses you on the forehead or the top of your head, it is to show affection, care, and sincerity. It can be platonic, like parents kissing their children or a friend comforting another.
  • If your partner or a guy who is interested in you, kisses you on the hands, it can mean that they care about you and want to start/keep their relationship with you. It is a show of affection, trust, assurance, and love. 
  • A gentle kiss on the nose shows adoration and pure love. This can come from a romantic partner, but it is neither sensual nor full of lust.
  • A peck on the lips is common in both platonic and romantic relationships. Parents can give a loving peck to their children. Partners can give a peck on each other's lips to greet them or say goodbye.
  • An American kiss doesn't involve the use of tongues, which differentiates it from a French kiss. It is a romantic gesture and there is nothing platonic about it. This list from here on is all about romantic kisses. 
  • A French kiss involves intense passion, a lot of tongue action and is sure to leave you both breathless. If a guy kisses you in this way, he is deeply attracted or infatuated with you. 
  • Neck kisses are almost always sensual and lusty. It is used a lot during foreplay and hence, there's no doubt that the person is hinting at sex. If your partner kisses you on the neck, it can be a show of passionate love. 
  • It can be passionate or it can be to sensually tease you. Just like the neck, our ears are highly sensitive to sensual touches and a guy can kiss or nibble at your earlobes to stimulate you. 

So, which one was it? Now that you have some idea about what he might be thinking about you, let's see what you can do about it. 

Decode The Reason Through Behavioral Analysis

If you want to understand your specific reason why he kissed you despite being just a friend, knowing the potential reasons and recalling how he kissed you aren’t enough. Rather you should try to analyze this guy’s behaviors towards you. The changes, the transformations, everything. 

A good approach to analyze his feelings is to first observe how he behaves around you. Does he notice little things about you? Does he sometimes get shy talking to you? 

He’s Behaving Awkwardly After The Incident

If your friend has kissed you just due to the heat of the moment, he may feel awkward in front of you since the incident happened. If the guy is trying to avoid eye contact, one-to-one meetings, sitting alone together, or avoiding talking about that day, he may be ashamed of this activity and assume that you felt bad due to the incident. In such situations, the guy can say sorry for that incident even when you’ve asked for it. 

In such circumstances, I would like to advise you to make things comfortable with him and save your friendship. 

He Touches You Romantically Besides Kissing

Does the guy who kissed you also tend to touch you romantically sometimes? It does not necessarily need to be special touches in special parts of the body. Maybe small gestures? Tender touches to your neck, rubbing hands on your thighs, or maybe playing with your fingers? 

If the guy who’s your friend does so, I can assure you he’s sexually attracted to you subconsciously if not consciously. Only from sexual attractions, such gestures are performed by guys. Maybe, his kiss was just a way to express his sexual attraction. 

He Tries To Take Silly Advantages

The guy touches you in illicit ways. Maybe when you sit with him, hang out with him, or go to parties he tries to touch your buttocks, maybe your tummy, or sometimes even breasts. And every time when you ask him why he’s doing so, he plays the friendship card and pretends that the touches were unintentional. 

If yes, then try to maintain distance from this guy. Because this friend of yours is either a jerk or is simply trying to take advantage of you or maybe both. 

He’s Too Concerned About Your Relationship Status

Do you have a boyfriend? What is your "ideal type"? Do you like going out on weekends or watching movies on Netflix? Does he keep asking you random questions all the time, about you and everything that is going on with you? If yes, it can be that he is trying to lengthen his conversations with you and wanting to know you better.

This could suggest that he likes talking to you and could very well be interested in you

Asking if you are single and inquiring about your romantic life can be a sign that he indeed wants to be your guy. 

He Tries His Best To Impress You

The guy does or maybe tries to do all those things you like. He tries to surprise you, brings you flowers, asks you to go out often, maybe at brunch or dinner, and most importantly always tries to make you smile. And it seems, he doesn’t regret kissing you but still avoids talking about that incident. 

If this is the situation with you, you should understand that he’s definitely interested in you romantically. And, he doesn’t take you for granted, rather values your presence. It’s time that you seriously need to think about this guy.

He Tries To Heal You With His Words

The guy didn’t only kiss you gently, but also tries to stay with you, stands beside you, and most importantly tries to heal your emotional wounds with his words. Yeah, he’s a true friend whom people always look for. Consider yourself lucky to have a friend like him. Trust him. He’s never gonna let the friendship down. 

He Tries To Protect You

The guy always enquires about you. Not only about your relationship status, but also about your health, your emotions, your career, everything. He cares for you as well. This guy often tends to kiss you affectionately, like he’s your big brother. 

If this is your situation, consider this guy as no friend anymore. He has become a family now. Treat him as your brother. At this point, you can depend on him. You can tell this guy everything. He’ll try to find every possible solution to all your problems. 

What Can You Do About It? 

Now comes the most controversial and dynamic part of this blog. The steps you can take about it. Look, there can be different ways to move forward with it, depending upon what you think is his feelings for you, and most importantly how you feel or want to feel further for this guy.

If The Guy Is Interested In You

If he is single and you think that he’s interested in you, you can choose to be direct with him. You can take your time to observe him some more and then talk to him and make it clear exactly how you feel for him. Tell him if you like him and also tell him if you just expect him to be a friend. 

If He’s Just Physically Attracted

If you think that this friend of yours doesn't have any romantic feelings for you but is only attracted to you physically? In this case, if you are someone who wants a love-filled, genuine relationship, this is not the person for you. In this situation, you should tell him directly that you didn’t like the way he behaved with you. However, if you are up for 'friends-with-benefits relationships, then you may give him a hint to suggest you are up for it. 

You Think That He’s Just Playing Around

Many guys just play around with girls, without any true feelings for them. If you feel that he’s just casually flirting with you and he does the same with every other girl that he meets, then he just kissed you for fun. If that is something you don't approve of, make it very clear to him to not cross your boundaries of friendship further. 

If The Guy Was Just Being A Friend

If it was a kiss on the cheek, or a little peck on your lips, maybe he just did it casually because it is normal for him. He might not have had any other intentions and wouldn't have thought that you would take it otherwise or get upset about it. If you see him doing the same with his other good friends, maybe it is just an innocent gesture from his side. 

If that is the case and you want more clarity in this situation, talk to him and ask him why he kissed you. If he confirms that it was just a friendly gesture, you can either accept it if you are comfortable with it, or you can gently make it clear that you are not comfortable with it and he shouldn't do that again. If he’s a true friend, he’ll respect your comfort.

Hopefully, after going through this entire session, you have understood everything you needed to regarding this context. Now you’re a mature person enough to make your own decision according to the situation you face. But always remember, no matter Whatever be your case, if you are not comfortable with someone's behavior towards you, it's a good thing to make it clear to them and set boundaries.  


Here I’m adding a few frequently asked questions below for your further help to resolve the issue you’re dealing with. 

Can a guy and a girl just be friends after kissing each other? 

Some people can remain friends without awkwardness or any romantic feelings for each other after kissing or even making out. Others, however, find it hard to go back to being "just friends" after engaging in acts they consider romantic or intimate. It might also happen that one of the two is very casual about it but the other has caught some feelings. 

What does it mean if a guy friend kisses me but we are not in a relationship? 

It can mean that he is interested in you, likes you, and wants to turn the friendship into a romantic relationship. Or it also can mean that he just wants to have some action with you and might not be emotionally vested in you. 

Does a kiss mean commitment? 

To be honest, no, a kiss is not at all a stamp of commitment. It does depend on the person who is kissing and not the act of kissing but most people see it just as a sign of genuine love, adoration, and care. Some use it to show the intensity of their emotions or to assure the other. While some others can just kiss for their pleasure and mean nothing. 


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