Relationships: probably the most beautiful thing on the planet that grows between people out of love. We meet a person, we start liking them, then loving them, and eventually love being in a relationship with them. Isn’t it? But does any relationship on the earth ever enjoy an entirely smooth and happy journey? NO, right?
Sometimes the person we once loved gets transformed into some other kinda person after a certain period. At this point in time, relationships start getting toxic. In this period of toxicity, our feelings start getting vaporized, we stop liking the person and eventually break up.
But why in the first place, once beautiful relationships start getting toxic? Look, there are certain prerequisites of relationships that are very much necessary to sustain the connection. Without those, our relationships can’t sustain for long. One of the most important prerequisites of those is Mutual Respect.
Guys have a reputation of being disrespectful, indifferent about their girlfriend and their feelings, and often tend to take them for granted. I do admit that it happens to many guys. But I must say, a healthy relationship is based on the foundation of affection, care, respect, understanding, and trust. Be it platonic or romantic, if there is no respect in a relationship, it can not last very long.
If you found your way to this page, you might have faced the same issue we’re now talking about. So, if you ask me what you can do if your boyfriend doesn’t respect you and your feelings, I’ll say: If your boyfriend or partner does not respect you or your feelings, talk to him directly about it. Let him know that you expect him to be a respectful and understanding man. And if your concerns keep falling on deaf ears, I suppose, you need to walk away for your own sake.
Without mutual respect, even the most passionate lovers are bound to fall out. Because if someone doesn’t care about what their loved one feels, or if someone doesn’t care about his beloved getting hurt because of his actions, and if making the partner feel invalidated and small is okay for him, then does he even love his partner?
In this blog, I will unveil the signs through which you can properly understand how your boyfriend is disrespecting you and then tell you what you can and should do about it. So, stick to the blog and try not to miss any point.
Signs Of Disrespect In A Relationship
Many-a-times, women tend to ignore the signs of disrespect in a relationship. Basically, they love their boyfriends so much that the very idea of not loving them back, in the same way, becomes unacceptable to the women, and they stay in denial. Their boyfriend may disrespect, blatantly ignore their feelings and control everything they do, but women wouldn't accept that something is wrong.
But it’s very important for you to identify, understand, and evaluate those signs of disrespect. Because, unless you identify and evaluate the signs, you can’t take further steps about it. As a result, your relationship will be turning more toxic.
So, what are the signs of disrespect in a relationship? And have you been ignoring them all this while?
He Avoids Speaking The Truth And Sneaks Around
When two people commit to each other, they are promising to be honest and loyal in the relationship. If you have caught him lying to you multiple times, that is a sign of dishonesty.
He said he was going to spend a day at his parents' house because his mum was sick, but you saw him hanging out with his friends at a local pub. Or maybe you found he was lying about his office trips and he actually went to meet another woman.
Dishonesty is a clear sign of disrespect in a relationship. It gives rise to doubts and creates mistrust. If he can lie to you about his friends and family, can you really trust that he won't cheat on you? Many committed men sneak around, flirt with other women, and even get intimate with them. When caught, they would blame their partner and gaslight them.
Are you experiencing similar things in your relationship?
He Compares You With Other Women And Looks Down On You
He always compares you with his mom, his female friends, and even your friends. To him, his mom cooks better than you, his friend can handle everything so well while you are fretting over little things, your own sister has such high qualifications, and then there is you. Sigh!
Your boyfriend always finds some reason to look down on you. He doesn't even care if you both are in front of other people. He would go ahead and mock you, insult you and let you know you are not good enough compared to others. Thus, he is damaging your self-esteem and making you question your self-worth.
He Doesn't Respect Your Emotions, Opinions, Or Boundaries
Your boyfriend takes something that belongs to you and gives it to a friend without even asking you first or despite your no. He shows no sign of gratitude when you go out of your way to do something for him. He pays no attention when you are talking about things that are bothering you.
If there are differences in opinions, instead of taking your thoughts into consideration, he mocks you. He doesn't hesitate a moment before bringing up things that trigger your insecurities and traumas. He seems to purposely do things that would hurt you when he is pissed.
You are sick, but he still prefers to go out to drink with his friends instead of being with you. Even if you are in a bad mood, if he wants sex, he is not going to take a no. When you try to tell him that he is hurting you, he gets angry and acts hurt instead. Or he laughs and tries to show you how much he loves you until you start feeling bad for "misunderstanding" him.
If you feel that your boyfriend has no respect for your emotions, opinions, and boundaries, it is a huge red flag.
He Takes You For Granted
No matter what you do for him, it is never enough. And there is no attempt to match your efforts from his side. Even if you spend a whole day making his favorite cookies, you wouldn't see him appreciate you for that.
He takes your love, your care, your trust for granted. He breaks your heart a thousand times and just expects you to forgive him and be okay with it. He makes you feel unwanted and unloved.
He Never Stands Up For You
He witnesses his mom taunting you, his family disrespecting you, and even his friends mocking you and making you feel like a lesser person. And he does nothing. He joins them and laughs at you. Or maybe he keeps scrolling through his phone and is not even bothered enough to look at you.
If a person claims to love you and yet does nothing to protect you from verbal or physical attack, his love is a lie.
You Are Not Allowed To Do Anything Without His Approval
He has complete control over everything that you do in your life. What you can wear, what you can use, whom you are allowed to meet and what you are allowed to do, your boyfriend is the one who decides that for you. He says he knows what is best for you and gets infuriated if you do anything without his permission.
If your boyfriend doesn't allow you privacy or independence, if you are not allowed to do anything without his approval, you are in a toxic relationship.
He Gets Angry At You For Questioning Him
You have tried to talk to him. You tried to tell him that his behavior is hurting you, crushing you, and damaging your relationship with him. Or maybe you caught him lying and questioned him about it. And it pissed him off.
He got angry and yelled at you, blamed you for never understanding him, told you that he is suffocating in this relationship and that you are the problem. And then he gave you the silent treatment until you felt horrible and guilty for questioning or doubting him.
If this sounds like your boyfriend, he is an extremely toxic man.
He Is A Narcissist
A narcissistic person is someone obsessed with themselves. They think of themselves as superior to others and they expect everyone else to behave accordingly. They do not have the capability to truly love anyone else and you only matter to them if you are filling their needs.
If your boyfriend is a narcissist, he may make you feel inferior or worthless, constantly disrespect your emotions, and get abusive when his needs aren't being met. He can be very manipulative and toxic.
What Can You Do About It?
I suppose, now you know how your boyfriend disrespects you and your feelings. Your brain is maybe quite clear about it. But, I must tell you, this is the hardest phase you’re dealing with. The hesitation, the confusion you’re now feeling inside you, is a result of clashes between your brain and your heart.
Due to this unstable state of mind, you’re maybe hardly able to do something and decide about yourself. This is the reason why many women fail to take necessary steps even after reaching this phase themselves. But don’t worry. Here exactly I’m gonna help you to decide your next step according to the behavior which your boyfriend treats you with. So, what should be your next step?
If He Is Unaware Of The Hurt He Is Causing You
You know that your boyfriend is a loving and understanding man. But for some reason, he is unable to gauge that some of his actions are hurtful to you. For example, he joked about you in front of his friends and it offended you. Or maybe you were feeling sad and wanted to talk to him but he was busy playing games and looked annoyed with you.
If that is the case, the best thing to do is to talk to him. Sit down with him and let him know how you felt. Tell him it was disrespectful to you and you were hurt by his actions. Allow him to understand your side and explain why he did what he did. Maybe he didn't know it would hurt you, maybe he acted without thinking. Talking to him can help him understand your perspective and hence, resolve the issue.
If He knows But Takes It Lightly
You have told him multiple times that he is being disrespectful towards you, but he always takes it lightly. He seems rather amused that you would get offended by such things. He doesn't seem to have the maturity or understanding to see things from another person's perspective.
In this case, you need to let him know very clearly that you are serious. Sit with him and tell him directly that his actions are very disrespectful towards you and you aren’t gonna tolerate it any longer. Tell him you have done your best to get him to understand that you’re not okay with his behavior. Give him a clear warning that you are gonna break up if he continues with it. And if he still doesn't care, you know what to do.
If He Knows But Chooses Not To Care
You have talked to him, you have yelled, screamed, cried, and repeated yourself a hundred times. And he still hasn't changed his behavior towards you or has shown any sign that he is even willing to do so.
Well, then it is very clear that he doesn't care about you. Do you really want to stay in an unhealthy, unhappy relationship? You deserve happiness, respect, and love.
You Can't Take It Anymore
No matter what you do, what you say, he doesn't seem to care about you or your feelings. He’s always saying something triggering, taunting you, looking down on you, invalidating you. The relationship that once made you feel like the happiest person in the world has begun to suffocate you and it feels like a cage.
If you can't take it anymore, you don't have to. Even if you still love him, you need to prioritize yourself and walk away. You need to stand up for yourself and let people know that you will not tolerate disrespect and any sort of abusive behavior. You deserve a person who respects you and loves you for who you are.
Do You Respect Yourself Enough?
Do you respect yourself enough? If you do, why are you allowing someone else to disrespect you? Oftentimes, we feel that we aren’t enough, our insecurities make us feel lesser and make us believe we deserve the disrespect. We feel that we don't deserve better. And that is where we lose.
Setting healthy boundaries and letting people know that they are not allowed to push your limits, is respecting yourself. Learning to say a 'NO' when you are being pushed and pressured to do something you don't want to, is respecting yourself. Walking away from a situation or a person who doesn't value and respect you, is respecting yourself.
If your boyfriend doesn't respect you or your feelings, you need to make it clear to him that no matter how much you love him, disrespect is not something that you are gonna tolerate. Talk to him and give him the opportunity to understand you and change his ways.
And if despite your best efforts, he doesn't care about you and how you are hurting because of him, it is time to walk away because you deserve better. There might be hundreds of guys waiting out there, maybe for someone just like you.
If you still have any doubts regarding this context or your situation, and many questions are revolving around your mind, these commonly asked questions may come to your rescue.
When a man lies to you, doesn't care about what you think or feel, doesn't listen to you, mock/taunts/insults you, sneaks around, flirts with other women, compares you to them just to look down on you, crosses your boundaries, forces you, doesn't respect your privacy, individuality or independence - you must know he has no respect whatsoever for you.
The first thing to do is to talk to him about it and make it very clear to him that his ways are disrespectful towards you and he needs to change that. If he takes it lightly, let him know that you’re serious and you wouldn't tolerate such behavior. And if he still doesn't change his ways, he has neither respect nor love for you. You should choose your self-respect over him and walk away from the relationship.
An unhealthy relationship is a relationship in which there is dishonesty, mistrust, control issues, lack of privacy, a frequent crossing of boundaries, pressure, humiliation, toxicity, and mental, emotional, and/or physical abuse.
If you know you are in an unhealthy relationship, please seek support and get out of it. You can talk to your friends or family members, and if it gets too bad, contact local authorities. You deserve a happy life and a healthy relationship!
You should never tolerate disrespect, invalidation, dishonesty, disloyalty, cheating, your partner invading your privacy, not caring about your feelings, opinions, boundaries, and any kind of toxic or abusive behavior. A healthy relationship is one in which you can be yourself and be happy.