Did you and your partner have a fight? Are you two not talking after the fight? Has it been a week since you last talked and it has started to bother you?
If you are looking for answers to these questions, then let me tell you one thing about a relationship- Fights are inevitable in any relationship. Be it a 6 months relationship or of 6 years.
But when you and your partner fight and do not talk to each other even after a week, you are bound to be upset and disturbed. Your mind will start assuming a thousand different meanings and interpretations. You would be intrigued to know what is going on in the mind of your partner, why he or she is not answering your messages.
Assumptions after a fight can hurt both of you in the long run. Your mind and heart are more vulnerable after a fight and lack rational thinking.
As I have already said fights are a part of any relationship. Even the healthiest of relationships can go through rough patches. But some rainy days do not indicate the end of a relationship.
You need to keep in mind that, you two are the ones who committed to each other in the beginning, fell in love, and took the decision of being together. So a fight will not collapse your relationship if you put the right efforts and thoughts behind it.
Is It Over Between Us?
When we are in a relationship, we are afraid to lose our loved ones. Whenever there is a tiff between a couple, there is always that lingering fear- will he/she break up with me?
And this fear intensifies when you two don’t talk for a week after the fight. The first question that occurs in your mind is that- “Is it over between us?”
Well, when you and your partner don’t talk for a week, it can have various reasons. Maybe your partner is upset with your behavior, or you haven’t apologized for your mistake, he/she needs some alone time to think about the cause of the fight and how it can be resolved.
Even though many couples quickly come to the conclusion that the relationship is over just because your partner is not talking to you, it’s good to give some time after a fight to each other.
During this no-talking period, think about what went wrong, how you two can reunite once again and keep away all your bitter memories. Overthinking and overwhelming your mind with negative thoughts will not help you or your partner in any way.
So, let this time period make you realize your mistakes and find solutions to have a happy and healthy relationship with your Boo.
Finding The Reasons For The Silence
When there is a communication gap; when couples do not talk in a week after a fight, it can mean several things.
Let us have a look at the few reasons when you two don’t talk after a fight.
#1 You Made Your Bae Immensely Upset
Some fights can be very nasty. Often we end up hurting our loved ones the most. And especially in a fight couples lose their state of mind and practicality. They bad-mouth each other, bring up past issues which inadvertently hurt your partner without your knowledge.
Even if the fight is over a silly issue like why did you miss my mother’s birthday or why didn’t you meet me this weekend, couples start blaming each other.
They fail to understand their partners’ needs and choices. And believe me, disrespect in a relationship is a perilous evil. You do not want it to step onto that shoe. You might disagree, have a difference of opinion but be respectful to each other.
It is your behavior or words that can upset your partner to a great extend. And after a fight, they might feel insulted, small and unloved.
That is why they choose not to contact you. They will not text or call you voluntarily for sure. Also, they would prefer to spend some time alone to reflect upon the situation. So even if you call or text, be ready to be unanswered.
Let me share a story of one of my college friends who was going through the same thing. Kathy was in a relationship with her boyfriend for 1.5 years. They were the high school sweethearts who also ended up in the same college.
Although the initial days were honky dory, soon they started having problems over trivial things as the college days progressed. Kathy shared with me that her partner Jeff would not meet her, or ditch meeting her at the last moment by giving lame excuses. What upset Kathy more was the fact that Jeff had time for his friends but not for her.
When Kathy addressed this issue with Jeff, she was taken aback by his reactions. Jeff started accusing her of asking for attention all the time, not giving him his personal space and he said- “ Go get a life for yourself”.
No doubt Kathy was super upset about the whole situation. She did not expect things to turn in this way. She told me that "I was not ready to talk to him. I needed time for myself, for ourselves.”
As you can see, even small issues can become a huge obstacle in a relationship and can hurt your Bae intensely. And that is when they prefer to take some days or a week off to get back to their usual self.
#2 The Fault Is Yours
Sometimes a wrong action from your end can mess things up. If your partner is talking to you after a fight chance are that you are the guilty one.
Maybe she/he told you not to do something. But you still did it. Couples prefer to maintain distance from their exes when they are committed to someone.
If your partner does not like you keeping any kind of contact with your ex, you must consider their opinion. Your partner is not putting you within boundaries but he/she just wants to see the commitment from your side too. They expect to feel special. They want to the be a most important person in your life. So they aren’t asking for a lot actually.
Even after being serious about your relationship if you are constantly in touch with your ex it is surely going to break the harmony between you two. You do not need to be romantically involved but just by liking or commenting on their pictures on FB or Instagram, wishing them on their birthdays, bringing up your ex in frequent conversations can horribly upset your current partner.
In this case, you are the one who has made the mistake. Your actions can lead to a fight and it can pretty ugly too. Your partner will start thinking that maybe you are not totally into him/her. Perhaps you are still not over your ex. They will also feel hurt when they will notice that you disregard their opinion, likes, or dislikes.
So if you and your partner not talking to each other after a fight, find out whose fault it was. What was your mistake and how can you rectify it, scrutiny yourself and think how would you react if put in a similar situation.
#3 He/She Wants Space
I agree, a relationship is built by two people. But even then the scope of personal growth should never be stalled. If you can’t grow up as a person individually, your relationship will also face some sort of saturation point.
High school couples or college couples suffer from this the most. They are young and immature and their lives revolved around that one person only. They are emotionally attached to them and become too dependent on them for all kinds of needs without considering their situations.
Your boyfriend has a family function to attend for which he will be away for ten days. As a partner, it is your responsibility to understand his/her priority at that time and give him that personal space to spend time with his family and be involved in family matters. However, sometimes boyfriends or girlfriends behave eccentrically. They want attention 24*7. They constantly call or text even knowing that their partners are busy.
This is when things start to taste bitter. Your partner will soon feel annoyed by your calls and even deliberately ignore you.
Obviously, you will be upset and angry too when being ignored. And both of you will end up in a fight.
Your partner would prefer some space for him/her after an unpleasant situation like this. he/she wants you to understand as well that two people can be happy and healthy even with having individual lives of their own.
So not talking to you is not only a way of finding space for yourself but also directing you to find your space and inner peace.
#4 Do You Miss Me?
This is a common trope. Many of my friends have admitted that they did not initiate a conversation after a fight just to find out whether they miss their partners or not.
Honestly, it feels good when you know that somebody is out there who misses being with you, spending time with you.
Many couples after fighting with their partners do not talk. And this “no talking” can go up to a week. They do it mostly to see their partner’s reactions.
Your girlfriend probably wants you to make the first move. She wants you to understand that she is upset and you are the one who can cheer her up once again. Basically, she is just waiting for you to start the conversation again and she will be back on track again. She wants you to make up for the fights and be together with you.
It happens usually couples fight for small matters and they know that both of them loave each other. It’s just a way of confessing love for one another but in a different way.
However, sometimes this can backfire. When she is expecting your response and you are delaying it, she might think that you do not value her anymore. Perhaps she is thinking that you are actually happy that you two are not on talking terms. So, once again it becomes your responsibility to understand the situation and your partner’s needs and react accordingly.
#5 Trust Issues
Needless to say, trust makes or breaks a relationship. It takes years to build trust between two partners, however, trust is a fragile thing. Just one wrong step and can totally shatter an entire relationship.
So, if you have broken the trust of your partner by any means, he/she is likely to take some time to recover from that situation. The thing with trust is whenever it’s broken one starts to doubt himself/herself as well. They try to analyze how could they be so wrong in their judgment.
There should be complete transparency between couples. It is the two of you who can run your relationship successfully by being honest and truthful to each other.
Sometimes one partner just lies about their whereabouts. Suppose you were to meet your girlfriend on a particular day and you totally forgot about that. In spite of acknowledging your mistake, you make up a completely different excuse. Now, this might seem a simple mistake. But whenever your girlfriend finds it through, she will be hurt to know that her boyfriend lied about a simple issue. If you would have admitted your fault in the very first place, there was no scope for her to be upset.
At this point, she will doubt you the next time when you say “I can’t meet you today”, even if you genuinely can’t.
And that’s how this chain of trust issues begins. What is the inevitable outcome of its? Fights. Fights can go up to several days without any contact.
She is not talking to you because she is finding it hard to trust you back again. She is assuming that if you can’t admit your mistake for this, then you might end up lying for other things as well.
Also, this situation becomes severe when one partner cheats on the other. It is a deal-breaker for many couples. However, some like to take one step at a time.
They will not call off the relationship immediately rather they will take some time for themselves. He/she will measure the strengths of the relationship, will rethink the whole situation, will try to visualize a happy picture together again.
Your bae is probably not talking to you for these reasons.
#6 No Future Of The Relationship
While trust issues break a relationship, toxic relationships also lead to the failure of a relationship. Frequent fights, verbally abusing each other, emotional blackmails, lack of communication all are signs of a toxic relationship.
My friend Kathy’s relationship also turned out to be a toxic one later. They had several problems during their college time. However, they resolved it. But slowly that became a pattern. Her boyfriend Jeff would not give her the emotional support that she needed, started checking her phone, emails, did not let her go out with her other friends.
Whenever Kathy mentioned her problems to Jeff, he would always turn the table and accuse her. He always hurt Kathy badly with his toxic behavior.
Kathy told- “ I could not handle it anymore. Every night I would go to sleep crying. I tried my best to make up for him. Still, he was not satisfied”.
Eventually, Kathy took the bold decision of leaving him.
If your partner is talking to you after a fight and it’s been a week, he/she is probably thinking to end the relationship. They do not want to go back to the toxicity and that is why they are trying to end kind of communication.
What To Do Now?
Now you know why does not your partner talk to you in a week after a fight.
So let me share with you some steps that you can follow to start a conversation again and reconcile with your partner.
- Say Sorry. Judge the fight honestly. If it’s your fault do not wait for him/her to text or call you. They are expecting you to hear an apology from you. So take the initiative and say sorry to your partner. Also, make sure that you will never do it again. You can send some Flowers or Chocolates to surprise her/him that will surely melt their hearts.
- Rekindle the old love. If you are serious about your relationship, you would certainly like to give it a second chance. One fight can’t determine the faith of your relationship. Talk to your partner openly and resolve all issues. Think about the good old times and put in some extra effort to rekindle it again. Plan date nights or go for trips. Spending quality time and having clear communication will help a lot.
- Understand your partner. Do not just let your mind assume different things and come to a conclusion. Try to understand your partner and their perspectives. Listen to their problems, sit together and plan out where things went wrong and how you two can mend them. When you put yourself in your partner’s shoes, you will be able to understand the reason better.
- Throw away that Ego. If your ego is stopping you from getting back to your partner then you are totally wrong. Show your genuine love to him/her, let her feel how important he/she in your life. Always remember ego is a devil, so get rid of it as soon as possible.
Fights are normal in a relationship. But you can always make things right with love, time, and effort. Sometimes time is actually a boon.
If you are still wondering why “we haven’t talked in a week after a fight”, I hope now you know got a solution.