I Think My Boyfriend Loves His Ex More Than Me [Decoded]

You're insecure about your lover since you think he loves his ex. Your boyfriend's ex may have known him longer and spent more time with him, but that does not take away from the importance of the present moment for you. He's entirely yours. Don't let the past hold you back.
Medha Sureka
A girl sitting in front of his desk looking at his bf's social feed
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You're out on a romantic date with your partner. The candle is brimming low, and the room temperature is fine enough to make you want to get cozy. The music is creating the perfect mood for you to vibe along with him, everything is going smooth, and you dream about how beautiful life feels when he is by your side.

You look at him in those beautiful eyes half-mindedly to see your reflection in it. You want to say something romantic, but before you could have made an utterance, the words 'this was her favorite place' greets your ears. 

For a moment, you are deeply shaken. You take your time before giving a reaction, trying to understand who this 'her' is here and what she is doing in your bf's mind. It keeps you wondering until you realize he is talking about his ex again?

You get furious. All your feelings and thoughts that had begun to settle and make a nest in your heart with his name inscribed in beautiful colors dismissed themselves at once. Although no sound is made, you feel heartbroken. You can imagine tears welling up in your eyes.

You blink twice before you say, 'Oh!' and then he narrates to you all about his romantic evening with her, and you keep up the smile and make one-word replies desperately seeking to run away home.

The only thought that went round and about throughout that evening and the night and the next morning was if your bf loves his ex more than he loves you. Let's find out!

Why Do You Feel Your Boyfriend Loves His Ex More Than He Loves You? 

A close study of your feelings and the seedlings of your emotions will guide us to fetch out the right solution. It will also help you to know your heart better. At times, we are so overwhelmed that the only way out seems to be too close to the door to your heart. But that would neither do justice to your love and all the time you have invested in coming so far nor to your lover who is already caught up in flashbacks.

#1 He Keeps Referring To Her

Your boyfriend keeps talking about his ex or mentioning her one way or the other in the middle of conversations. This disrupts your train of thought and breaks the spell of the moment.

#2 He Has Her Number Saved

Your boyfriend has kept her number saved. You can see her nickname in his phonebook. He neither deleted her number nor changed the name.

#3 He Follows Her On Social Media

Your boyfriend still follows all the social media accounts of his ex. Neither of them unfriended or blocked one another. It makes you suspicious of the bond they share or why they broke up in the first place.

#4 They Are Friends

Your boyfriend is still friends with his ex. They are on friendly terms and don't fail to greet each other without any awkwardness in between. You remain stunned and find it difficult to keep up with your smile at such moments.

#5 She Is His Best Friend

It can make your world topsy turvy and make you go haywire if, on one sudden day, it occurs to you that your boyfriend's best friend is his ex. You would neither be able to prevent them from exchanging words nor avoid talking to her yourself. 

#6 He Misses Her

Either the way he talks about her tells you that he misses her in his life, or he accepts it without hesitation. You find it tedious to come roundabout to deal with such a declaration. You wonder if he misses her, then why isn't he with her, and what is your role in his life.

#7 He Takes Her Name

There are times when he calls you by her name. You ignored it once or twice, but now it gets on your nerves, and you feel pathetic to get mad with him on such notes when you know well that he is in a miserable condition and more sorry than you.

#8 He Has Her Belongings

Your boyfriend neither cared to return nor discard the belongings and presents given to him by his ex. You hate to see him wearing the sweater his ex had gifted him. You hate the sight of his bedroom walls where he still hangs the frame or the accessories of his ex.

#9 He Doesn't Look You In The Eye While Making Love

Your boyfriend avoids looking at you when you're making love. This lack of making contact while you're intensely looking at him and wanting him to lock his eyes with yours makes you shudder. It is a turn-off, and there are times you feel disgusted to the core.

#10 He Has Not Made Your Relationship Official

Your boyfriend hasn't made your relationship official even after your suggestion. Neither his friends nor his family nor perhaps his ex knows about you. He spends time with you and makes love to you but wants to keep it all a secret which confuses you to no extent.

#11 He Has Her Photos In His Phone Gallery 

Your boyfriend's phone gallery is filled with photos of his ex. He might still open and look at her photos when he misses her. The number of photos he has of her is far more than what he has kept of you.

#12 He Is Shy To Click Photos With You

He does not like clicking photos with you. He does not like to pose as the boyfriend. He doesn't smile when you push him to take the photo. It makes him uncomfortable. 

How Can You Win The Love Of Your Boyfriend? 

Making an incessant offering of your love might be the only thing needed here to fix your relationship. You are as caught up in the loop of Insecurities as your boyfriend is in his past. It is helping none. Let's find ways to make joint efforts to improve your love station and take it to more romantic destinations.

#1 Don't Compare Yourself With His Ex

You are unique in your way. Your boyfriend wants you as his girlfriend for those unique reasons. You complement and complete him

Don't spoil the ultimate essence of your relationship by drawing comparisons with his ex. You can never be similar to someone. And trust me when I tell you this, you don't want to be like another person. If he loves you, which he does, for he is with you and not with her, let him love you for the right reasons.

#2 Open Up To Him

He is your man, and you are supposed to talk your heart out with him just as he does to you. Talking about his ex or sharing his feelings with you is his way of expressing his unfiltered thoughts. You must practice the same exercise with him.

Don't let anything restrain or confound you. You will fail to love truly or unconditionally if you don't pour out your genuine feelings. He will understand and appreciate your concern.

#3 Take Him To New Places

If older places remind him of his ex, explore and discover new places. Avoid the setting where he used to go out with her. 

If he came out from a long relationship, toxic or not, you will have to help him face the challenges. He cannot overcome it without your help.

#4 Invite Him Home

Spend time indoors with him. It will be your cozy spot. It will be filtered with your essence. In your abode, you shall be the Queen, and he will be your King.

TIP: Decorate the interiors of your room with the right lights to create the mood and keep a romantic playlist ready.

#5 Spend Weekends Together

If you feel your boyfriend loves his ex more than he loves you, spend long hours with him. Plan a weekend together. And with that many more weekends too. This will by the side the memories of his ex and make more space for you. You need to give him new memories to overcome old.

#6 Take Him Out With Your Friends

Invite your boyfriend to join your friend circle and hang out together. If he spends time with his previous circle, they might mention his ex, which floods him back with all the memories. 

A new circle will pull him out of his previous stance. Moreover, your group will talk and cherish your presence. This will give him a better insight into you and make him appreciate being with you.

#7 Kiss Him More Often

The easiest and most enjoyable way to make him love you and strike off his ex's name from his lips is to engage him in kissing rounds with you.

Remember the movie, Kissing Booth? It all starts with a kiss and can take you far in some mysterious landscape of your own making. He might even understand your concern if you kiss him every time he takes her name.

#8 Send Him Cute Reminders

Keep him reminded of your presence and give him not a moment to succumb to dark thoughts or fond memories that he had spent with his girlfriend. Say cute things like you miss him or can't wait for enough to see him. Amuse him with cute selfies of your adorable face. He might put one of those as his wallpaper later.

#9 Go On A Staycation

Plan a staycation with your boyfriend. It might bring the change you both need. You will not only spend days together but get more opportunities to share the personal space that leads to romantic musings. You will be surprised to see how we will keep referring back to this staycation for a very long while and keep cherishing it all the same.

#10 Make Your Relationship Official

If you feel insecure with your boyfriend, the easiest way to handle the gravity of the situation is to make your relationship official. The easiest way to do it is to change your relationship status on social media and share a glimpse of your sharing moments in the form of photographs. This will boost your confidence, and you will feel you rightly belong to him as he does to you.

#11 Know Him Inside Out 

Learn his habits by hard his routine. Do the thing you know he would do next. Play them next move for him. If you know him better than anybody, eventually, you will help him make the right choices. He would not only look up to you as his girlfriend but a lot more than that.

#12 Pamper Him With Your Love 

Find ways to love him more. Overwhelm him with your love. Be the embodiment of his love. He will forget he had ever loved any other. 

#13 Show Him The Magic Of Your Hands 

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Amuse him with the magic of your hands. Cook him your favorite appetizers and let him relish the flavors. The love for food is always overpowering. Keep him asking for more.

#14 Show Him Your Sexy Side 

Don't just be an adorable girlfriend. Make him hot with your sexy moves. Do a striptease to tease him playfully. Enjoy pleasurable moves.

#15 Dominate Him

Take your man if you feel he loves his ex more than he loves you. Control his emotions by firmly establishing the rule of what truly belongs to you. Overpower him in all the ways you can imagine. Mesmerize him with your charm and take control.

On This Note, Here Are Some Frequently Asked Questions

Is it time to rethink your relationship? 

After putting in all your efforts, if you still feel that your boyfriend is fixated on his ex, he might fail to keep you happy. But if in the moments of vulnerability, when you feel low, he stays there to love and support you, then it's time to take your relationship a step forward. Take everything into account before making your decision. It is always tough to fall in love again.

Is it wrong of your boyfriend to love his ex? 

Love can never be wrong, can it? Hate is wrong. Loving somebody cannot make a person bad. It can neither take away how he feels for her nor can it make him love you more. 

Love has its spell. You cannot own it. You cannot capture it. If it is yours, it can neither be stolen nor disowned.

Should you ask your boyfriend to discard his ex's belongings? 

No, throwing away a souvenir or keeping it, all the same does not make a difference if the person is out of immediate range. Remember, the tag 'ex' is not only attached to his previous lover but is extended to everything that belongs to her.

Should you ask your boyfriend to block his ex on social media? 

No, never make your boyfriend feel that you don't trust him enough, or you feel weak and intimidated by his ex. You are special. Remember that and keep reminding him that.

Should you delete your boyfriend's ex's number from his phone?

No, you must not. If he has kept the number saved on his phone, it's either because he doesn't care about the digits or has it memorized. Rather than indulging in childish play, you should try to make your relationship gold on stronger grounds.

How Can You Debunk The Mystery? 

The simplest way to debunk the mystery you have created yourself after investing much of your time and energy to tell a tale of overthinking is to confront it before it succumbs your peace away. 

There are three people in focus here. It's you, it's your boyfriend, and it's his ex. Let's start with you. Ask yourself why you are with your boyfriend if he loves his ex more than he loves you.

Move on to your boyfriend for further clarification and better affirmation when you get the answer. Ask him why he is with you if he loves his ex more than he loves you.

When he expresses his bewilderment and an explanation, move on to his ex if you still have little doubts left. Ask her why she left him when he still loves her more than he loves you. 

Join the dots. It will become crystal clear to you why he is with you, and you are with him, and the third person is not. The answer is LOVE. FOR YOU. TO YOU. The answer is YOU.

Summing Up

It is said that first love is always remembered. But what is not said and appreciated is the love that stays. Being the first lover is not a prized position; being the ultimate lover makes all the difference. Even if you feel your bf is fixated with his ex, it might be that he talks about you with all his friends.

His words in front of you are his way to express his agony. Maybe that's his way of telling you that he wished he had spent all those moments with you. Work on the ability to love more; it heals. Heal him of your insecurities. Heal yourself with your love for him.


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