How To Ask A Girl If She Is Single Through Text?

First of all, you must have a friendly relationship with the girl. Asking her out all of a sudden is never a good option. So, start talking to her and be her friend. When you two become comfortable with each other, and there is no hesitation, you can go ahead ask her if she is single via text. 
Ahiri Chakraborty
a man standing beside the window and texting

There’s nothing happier in the world than having the girl of your dreams. But is it really easy to get her? Obviously, the initial steps are full of hurdles. But you need to know how the girl also feels for you, right? And if your dream girl has the same feelings for you, then voila, you have made your dream come true.

The most common question that I’ve received from my readers is how to approach a girl and know whether she is single or not? Some boys are really shy. And honestly, it’s not just about asking. You are making the first impression. You don’t want to come across as an arrogant one, or a desperate one, or even a rude person. So, the way you approach the girl can make or break the situation. 

So rather than following the generic pickup lines or taking advice from friends, I always say guys to stay true to themselves. Nothing can beat genuineness. And if a girl understands that you’re genuine in your feelings, she will always love that. 

I know every guy would like to confess their heart’s feelings as soon as possible. But sometimes, you need to be patient and wait for that perfect moment. When you’re in a hurry, you can mess up things. 

Another thing you need to remember is that when you speak out loud about your feelings, the girl might not take you seriously. She would feel that you’re just being a playboy. So please get to know her fully and give her that comfortable space. When you’ve set the perfect mood, you’re good to go. 

Why Opt For Texting?

Well, texting is the new fashion. People have less time, lead hectic lives, and when they’re free, they don’t want to talk on the phone. Sending a text and also replying to a text is more accessible, fast. And to be honest, it’s less intimidating too. 

Hence a lot of guys prefer building that friendship with the girl that they like over texts. In texts, you can articulate your thoughts in a much better way. And you always have the option of Backspace. So, if a word does not seem good enough, you can remove it and retype it. 

But on a call, it’s hard to take back what you’ve said. It can hurt the other person you’re talking to if you say something impulsively. But texts will give you much freedom to take time and put your thoughts into order. 

Let us now deep dive and see how you can ask a girl if she is single through text.

8 Ways To Ask A Girl If She Is Single Through Text

There is one right way for everything. Maybe you need to go through the trial and error method, but eventually, you’ll find the right way, which will make the process smooth and easy. So, let’s find out what they are?

  1. Send friendly texts:

It would be best if you built a solid friendship before asking such personal questions to any girl. Unless the girl feels comfortable talking to you about anything, she won’t be free and tell you about her personal life. 

So, send her friendly texts, get to know her as a friend. What she likes to eat, what does she want to watch, what’re her favorite hang-out places, things like these? When you see that she’s comfortable and she also asks you many questions about your life, it means you found the base. 

You can then send her a name of a romantic place to hang out and ask whether she would like to join you. If she says “yes,” she is single. But if you see, she straightaway rejects the idea, she might not be single, and she likes you only as a friend. 

  1. Discuss Romantic movies with her:

Girls love to watch movies, and if she is a massive fan of romcoms, then nothing like it. You will have the best topic to discuss with her. So bring up a classic rom-com and start discussing it. 

A romantic movie will have many romantic moments like proposing, dates, kisses, and when you set the perfect mood, you can ask her for a romantic movie night with her. If she is interested in you and single, she will jump off of r the idea.

  1. Play funny games with her:

There are plenty of games that you will find out about on the internet. Or be a bit creative and make your own game. Ask funny and flirty questions and give her options to choose from humorously.

This way, you don’t be direct, but at the same time, you can get to know what you want. But make sure that you two are on the same page regarding comfort and how much open you’re to each other. You never will like to put the girl in an awkward position. 

  1. Talk about relationships:

Girls are up for deep conversations. Especially if it comes from a guy, you can talk about your views on relationships and love in general. In this way, you will also get a taste of her perception and thinking about love. 

So, when you see she responds to these types of conversations positively and is taking a lot of interest, she would open up. This builds a solid ground for you to ask a personal question like whether she’s single. 

You won’t be shooting a question to her out of the blue, and that’s why the chances of you getting a concrete answer is even more. 

  1. Give her hints:

Sometimes when you lack the courage to ask directly, you can give her some hints through your text. You can say something like, “Oh, there’s a great cafe opened up, but it’s only for couples,” or “You spent all your weekend alone because all your friends went out with their girlfriends." 

When you can’t tell her directly, using phrases like this will surely make the girl understand that you’re single. So, if she were the one hesitating to ask you or she wanted to know about your relationship status, she would get her answer.

Now, you, too, are in a position to ask her about her relationship status. You can say things like, “Another weekend, and I’m alone, I wish I could hang out with you. You’re fun to talk to”. You’re giving hints that you like her and you have a crush on her. 

If she thinks the same about you, she would also respond to your texts and agree to go out on a date. 

  1. Offer her help:

There are certain things a girl likes to do only with her boyfriend, like going shopping, or if she’s buying a surprise gift for her mom or her best friend, if she is going to pick up a new laptop, or thinking of investing in any tech gadget. 

So, while conversing with her, if you know she is planning something on those lines, you can offer her help. You can get her some review links from the internet or give her some valuable suggestions. 

You can then go ahead and tell her, “If you don’t have any problem, I can accompany you.” Look at her reaction; if she hesitates, she doesn’t want to go out with you and can be in a relationship too. Again, she can choose to tell you frankly that her boyfriend will be going with her and she was looking for some friendly suggestions from you. 

Well, you tried your best. Right? 

  1. Invite her to your party:

A girl in a relationship is less likely to attend to a guy’s friend alone, without her boyfriend. Even if her boyfriend doesn’t come with her, she will mention to you about her boyfriend. So, inviting her to your party is an excellent opportunity for you to know whether she is single through text.

You will get a definite answer for sure, and that will help you to move further. When you find out that she has a boyfriend, don’t just be rude to her. Still, keep the invitation open and be cordial to her. But if she’s single and agrees to come to your party, then take suggestions from her about organizing the party. Ask her what she likes to eat and get those for your party. She will know how much she means to you. 

  1. Be frank with her:

There’s even to limit to patience. I understand it. And some girls prefer a direct question or confession from the guy than being hush-hush about it. Also, it shows your honesty, and a girl loves an honest man.

So, when you have developed a good bond with the girl and have genuine feelings for her, don’t hide anymore. Confess your feelings and ask her, “Hey, are you single”? 

If she is single and into you, then voila, your battle is over. And if she isn’t, you still win. How? Simply because now you don’t have to wait anymore or keep wondering. You know the answer, and it’s up to you whether you want to continue the friendship or just call it a day. 

Let me give you a real-life example, and you can see that this method works like magic for some people. So, my friend Carla had a similar situation. She was talking to a senior at her college for a long time. They had a good friendship. And by John’s gestures, Carla had a sense that he likes her. But John was not saying a single word.

However, one fine day, John just texted her and asked her straightforward whether she was single. Lucky man John, Carla was single, and she liked him as well. Later on, Carle told me that John’s honesty impressed her the most. He did not keep her in delusion. He was honest and upfront. 

So, there are brownie points if you can gather up some courage and tell the truth. 

What Should You Do When You’re Planning To Ask A Girl If She Is Single Through Text?

Texts can be misinterpreted sometimes. However, it is preferred by a lot of people, the tone and language of the text matter a lot. So, keep some pointers in mind when you plan to ask the girl you have a crush on if she’s single. 

  • Do be within limits. Be polite. Just because you like her doesn’t give you any right to make her feel uncomfortable. So, if you see she’s not comfortable answering personal questions, then stop.
  • Do respect her decision. She can be a great friend of yours; she can be even single. But if she chooses not to go out with you, you must respect her decision.
  • Do listen to her stories. You need to make her believe that you’re a good friend and you’re there for her. You can only do that when you patiently listen to her stories, whatever she shares with you. It will help to develop a strong bond between you two. 
  • Do put effort. Efforts always speak louder than words. So if she recommends you watch a new Netflix series or a movie, watch it. If she sends you reels and memes, reply to them immediately. It will show her that you’re talking to her not just to date her, but you genuinely want to know her. 
  • Do be patient. You need to be patient in the initial days. You can’t just ask her randomly. So give it some time, be her friend and then ask her. 

How Long Should I Wait If She Doesn’t Give A Proper Answer?

After trying all other means, if she does not give you any proper answer, she is just passing her time with you. She wants to keep you as a friend, talk to you but won’t be clear about her relationship status.

In such a case, you can wait for 2 or 3 months. But not more than that. You can ask her directly after this point, and if she still hesitates to answer you or diverts the topic entirely, then you should not waste your time for her. She isn’t into you at all. 

Can I Know That She Has A Boyfriend Without Asking Her?

Yes, you can. If you follow each other on Instagram and she puts stories with her boyfriend and writes captions like “ With my Bae”, then it’s crystal clear to you.

However, some choose to hide it from social media. So, when you chat with her, try to notice if she brings up her boyfriend in the conversation or shares her relationship stories or problems with you. 

She is in a relationship if she doesn’t talk about her partner in front of you, but you observe that she replies to you late or avoids texting you late at night. 

Final Words

It’s always good to have clarity before you start assuming things in your head. We all let our imaginations run wild, and then when reality hits hard, we fall upon it.

So, be a bit bold, ask her, and get a clear answer. Either you will be happy, or you will be sad for some days. But even the bad times pass quickly. 


Start a conversation. Or give us feedback.

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