Why Does My Ex Still Follow My Family and Friends On Social Media?

It might be because they miss you and just want to keep tabs on how you’re doing without directly reaching out to you. Sometimes, former flames reach out to your family or friends once you’ve broken up with them. Once the person moves on, he will stop following.
Megha Chanda
a women sitting in a car surfing social media

Ever broken up with someone, only to discover that they’re still following your social profile? Or perhaps they’re still friends with all of your mutual connections on Facebook?

The heartbreak is heightened by the realization that your ex is not only able but willing to get updates from your friends and family members daily, most influential after they have treated you poorly. The thought of your ex still seeing something from your BFF’s account or a photo posted by a mutual friend can feel like a knife through the heart.

For most people, this behavior is just an awkward reminder of your past. But what is the true meaning behind such social media gestures? Why do they feel the need to follow your family on social networks?

Reasons Why Your Ex Is Still Wanting To Be In Contact With Your Family and Friends

It can be hard to close the social media chapter with your ex even after an official breakup. 

There are reasons why you might have noticed that your ex-significant other is following your family and friends on social networking sites after the breakup.

#1 Your Ex Wants To Rekindle The Old Flame Between You

When my friend Joe’s ex started to want to be friends with his family again, he was suspicious and sure the only reason they wanted to maintain a friendship was so they could get back together. 

This isn’t uncommon, and chances are if your ex wants to maintain a friendship with your family and friends, it’s because they still want you back in their life. They may wish to back in your life for all kinds of reasons — most commonly because they’re unhappy with their current partner and miss the emotional support they got from you.

Family can be a convenient place to start to rekindle the old romance. Your ex may want to spend more time around you again. Asking your family for help with moving, getting out of debt, or just making dinner can offer an ideal opportunity for your ex to have you back in their life.

What should you do? 

  • Every situation is different. Some couples have been through a lot in their relationship and may not be ready to move on when the breakup happens. In that case, your ex staying friends with your family and friends can be a non-issue. But if you don’t think they should be contacting your family or any of your friends, let them know why calmly.
  • Let’s be honest here. If someone were respecting your boundaries, they would have already severed any contact with your family or friends circle. Here, you need to talk with your family and friends and explain how their ongoing friendship on Facebook or anyother social apps is hurting the healing process of the breakup for you. If they genuinely care about you (they should!), they will respect your request.

There are exceptions to every rule, right? I get that. However, you get to choose how your ex is allowed to interact with your family even with your close friends.

#2 Your Ex Still Think Of You

We’ve all seen it before. Your ex following your friends on social media can be a massive indication that they still think of you, which isn’t so bad!

Many people are still perplexed about why their ex broke up with them in the first place, so they continue to wonder if their ex still has feelings for them. While they may not be actively trying to get back together with your ex, there is a reason they continue to follow your friends and family members on social media.

It is natural for anyone to want to keep up with the people they once loved. The fact that your ex followed your family on social media doesn’t mean anything other than they still care about you. You shouldn’t read too much into this or freak out over it. 

The reason why your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend still follows you on social media is simply that they still care about you. They may not want to get back together or might not even think of you on a day-to-day basis anymore, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t have any love left for you.

Following your close friends even your family members sometimes keep them updated on what you are up to and allow them to see any photos of you from time to time.

What should you do? 

  • The mixed signals can get confusing. In your mind, you’re not sure if they want to get back together because of the subtle things they have been doing. There could be a part of them that still sees you as their relationship option, while another part of them wants nothing to do with you. All this to say, try not to read too much into it and just see if they bring up any ideas for getting back together in the future. If they don’t, let it go and move on.

Though you may not be on speaking terms with your ex, his continued interest in what you’re up to after the breakup tells you that he still cares about your life.

You were probably (and still are) one of the most influential people in his life, especially for him to even consider following your friends on social media. This speaks volumes to how much he cares for you and misses you.

Before I go any further, I’d like to state that if this situation is a concern for you or you feel physically threatened by your ex, do not engage. 

#3 Your Ex Wants Sneak-Peak Of Your Life

Following the friends and family you spend most of your time with on social media is one of the easier ways for an ex to know what you’re up to in life. When you do something with your friends, take pictures and make it known to people (via social media) that you are out doing things with them, this is just another way for your ex to see what you are doing.

It’s another reminder that they do not have to go through the hassle of keeping tabs on what you are doing. 

Even though you have ultimately moved on from your past relationship with your ex, they still very well could be lingering in the background of your social media world.

One way that they can see what you’re up to is by unfollowing you but then immediately following all of your other friends and family that follow you. This way, they can get a glimpse into what you’re doing each day without having to follow both you and these friends.

It’s important to remember that, at least in some regard, your ex still has some sort of interest in what you are doing. It may be uncomfortably evident to you that your past flame is tracking your life, but it is likely that they just want reminders about your life.

What should you do? 

  • It can be a scary thing, especially if you’re going through a breakup and have reason to believe your ex could start being violent towards you. However, you have to consider if your ex is that desperate for your attention that they’d stalk you online to the point of following your friends and family members on social media just to get a glimpse into your life.

#4 Your Ex Is On Digital Detox

It is also possible your ex did not realize they were still following your friend or family members even both! Most social media users have numerous friends, family, and acquaintances on their feed. With so many faces to look at, it is easy to forget you are still following someone.

It also might be the case if they are not active on social media. If your ex is even slightly active on any social media platform, they will likely know who they follow.

What Should You Do? 

  • To stop your ex from following your family or friends on social media, you have to let them know that they are no longer a part of your life. This means that they can’t communicate with your family and friends via texts or social media.
  • However, the best way is for you to communicate face-to-face with your ex and tell them that they need to remove your family and friends from their social media networks. Particularly important if there are people in these social circles who you don’t want to associate with your ex because you think they will say negative things about you

#5 Your Ex Has Justified Reason To Be Friends

Coparenting: Your ex may also be interested in keeping up with family milestones, so if you had any extended family, your ex would want to stay connected. Co-parenting is an entirely legitimate reason for your ex and family to reach out to you. Sometimes an ex-spouse will want to keep in regular contact with your family even after they have ended the relationship. 

Family friend: Even if you don’t have children, other reasons may keep your partner from cutting all ties with their ex. In my case, my partner’s friends have become a part of our lives, and we all remain friends. If we were to cut ties with them, it would create an awkward social situation where tension would possibly arise, leading the friendship to a short-lived ending. 

Sometimes it is not about what your ex can get, but who they are. Your family could be their friends, the only friends they have in the area. The point is that sometimes your ex may want to keep in touch because your family means something to them. 

What should you do? 

  • Sometimes, an ex-spouse will want to contact your family regularly even after they have ended the relationship. This is okay so long as all parties respect each other’s boundaries.
  • If you are in a situation where there are children involved, have an open line of communication. If they are allowed only to have one parent in their lives, it can be hard for them to understand why they can’t have the other.
  • But there are situations where your ex-partner may need to take another look at the relationship they have with your family. If your ex is contacting your family to get information about you, or if they feel like breaking up was your fault, then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship you have with your ex.

Want Your Ex To Get Rid Of Your Ex Following Your Friends And Fam On Social Media?

Having an ex that won’t stop following your friends and family members on social media can be incredibly frustrating.

I’m sure you’ve noticed your ex-boy/girlfriend following your friends and family members on social media. Maybe it happened after you broke up or maybe even before, but if it’s driving you crazy, I have good news for you. There are ways to get your ex to stop following your friends and family on social media so you can move on with your life in peace!

Getting your ex to stop following them on social media is a process that will take time and patience, but it can be done. The goal is to make your ex want to move on with their life instead of feeling like they still have a part in yours.

Either way, the best thing that you can do is to get your friends and family on your side—and that includes asking them to help you feel better by blocking, unfriending, or unfollowing your ex. Make sure you lean on the support of those closest to you so you can have a strong network of friends and family around you as you work through this tough time.

Luckily, while your ex can keep up with some of your life, you can also use the same tool to limit what they see. There are many reasons why an ex would want to stay connected to friends and family of their past flame. Whatever the reason, it’s probably not healthy for you or your family. Your friends and family are supposed to be supportive of you, whether you’re dating someone new or single. Learning how to approach this tricky topic can help you navigate uncomfortable situations.


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