Why Am I Suddenly Missing My Ex So Much?

Nishtha Tutlani
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When you are with someone, you give your all to them and they give their all to you. Starting from little things to the very big, you share everything with them, good and the bad, sweet and the bitter. And gradually they become a part of you, you get so used to them that it takes a while to get over them. It is never easy, but eventually, you do get over them and move on with your life.

So, what is up with this sudden blow of memories? Why do we miss our exes so much all of a sudden? Why is it that the missing is so much that it is almost unbearable? So, what could be the reasons? Why do you miss him or her so much?

Why am I suddenly missing my ex so much? Could be because you are lonely. When someone we have a habit of leaves our lives, the time we used to invest in them is now being invested in their memories, or maybe they were someone you genuinely loved and you genuinely miss being around them. Invest your time in something else which will help you grow and see if you still miss them. 

Here Are Some Potential Reasons Behind Missing Your Ex Suddenly

Okay so let's decode some of the potential reasons which make you feel lonely.

Maybe You Came Across Him Or Her In Real Life Or Social Media 

Maybe you both go to the same college, or you both are work colleagues or are neighbors, or you could just simply stumble upon each other in the market or on the roads. It is hard to resist your mind to go back to all those beautiful memories that you both made in the past, so when you get a glimpse of them your mind wanders back around all those memories. 

And in the era of booming technology and social media, there is hardly anyone who does not have a social media account, so if you somehow came across his or her social media, it might have brought back all the memories. 

Maybe You Found His Or Her Pictures Or Things Or Gifts In Your Stuff

When you are so attached to someone for so long, then obviously you must have exchanged things, and gifts with each other, and it is not always easy to get rid of the things that once meant so much to you, or even if you had gotten rid of them, there could have been some residues left in your cupboard or somewhere in the corner of your room, and when cleaning or searching for some other things you come across them, that could work as a trigger, 

Also, in the age of selfies, you must have had a thousand pictures of you two. And if you are someone who goes through their gallery every now and then, then you might have come across a picture of them and that could also work as a trigger why you suddenly miss them so much.

Missing Him Or Her Out Of The Blue

You know, as they say, nostalgia can be a real bitch. If you are someone who is easily nostalgic then it can work as a bane for you. This sudden wave of memories can hit you real hard in the guts and make you numb for a while. That is how nostalgia works. It can come out of nowhere and make you feel all kinds of sick and then suddenly goes away. 

Maybe Your Friends Brought Up His Or Her Topic

When you are with someone for long enough, you both get so involved with each other that both sides of your friends get to know each other, and usually, you go and hang out with them.

And when you break up, you usually do not go around announcing that you broke up, so some of your friends who do not know that you have broken up could have brought up the topics or there could be some friends who are inconsiderate and insensitive enough to bring up the topic of your ex and how you guys spent some good memories with each other. That could have made you miss him or her suddenly so much.

Maybe She Or He Texted You

Another reason could be that they missed you and hence they texted you and told you how much they are missing you, and as humans when someone shows us how much they are missing us, we tend to get stuck in that thought and it feels nice to be said that there is someone out there who misses us and especially if that someone is your ex who you have dated for a while, it can bring back all the affectionate memories of you two and make you stuck in the whirlwind of their memories.

Maybe You Are Overthinking.

If you are someone who overthinks everything all the time, then it is nothing uncommon for you to miss your ex so much. If you thought about all the times that you both had each other and regretted breaking up with him or her and just kept analyzing everything then it is very natural that you ended up missing him or her so much. 

What Does It Mean To Miss One’s Ex Suddenly So Much?

Lemme take you through those reasons and see if any of this matches with you or not. 

You Are Lonely

Maybe you are single for a while now or the people who you have dated in a while do not fulfill your needs like your ex used to, and so you feel a bit discouraged and low and it is only human to feel this way. 

Maybe You Are Not Over Them Yet

Some people get over past relationships more easily than others, maybe you fall into the second category who is holding on to his or her ex and has not been able to get over them yet. And so a little bit of anything makes you miss him or her so much.

You Lack Friends And Connections

More often than not when we go through a terrible breakup or any kind of breakup for that matter, our only instant refuge is our friends and other connections, we turn to them to rest our head on their shoulders, to get advice, and to let them tell us that we are enough and we can get over this in no time.

And, friends do make breakups less painful with their silly banters. But, if you are someone who is an introvert with no real friends, which is okay to not have friends, then it might make it a little too difficult for you. 

You Are Free

When you have a lot of time in your hands, you tend to overthink a lot, your mind wanders around from one thing to the other, and in this case, if your mind somehow makes it to your past relationships and makes you remember the memories of your ex, and that is how you end up missing your ex so much all of a sudden. 

Is It A Bad Thing To Miss Your Ex? 

Missing your ex means that someone you once loved and cared for is not around anymore, and does not matter whatever and how much you do, they might never come back. It does not mean anything except the fact that you miss someone and something that was once important and meant something to you. 

And to answer the above question, NO, IT IS NOT A BAD THING, it is only very human to miss someone who was such a big part of your life, and it is absolutely okay to miss him or her. And this is the part of the process, you have to get through this feeling of yearning in order to get over or heal from it. 

Does It Mean I Should Text Him Or Her? 

Maybe. That hugely depends on the circumstances in which you both broke up. Was it a mutual break-up and you both ended up on a good note? If yes, then you may go ahead and text them and let them know how you feel.

But, if it was not, if it was a toxic relationship and ended on a pretty bad note then I would suggest, no, you should not text them, that will only aggravate the situation, and everything that you have done so far to get over them will go in vain and you will go back to square one of getting over them.

How Do I Get Over This? 

Ending a relationship is never easy. It can kill your self-esteem, you might feel unloved and unworthy and it can leave you broken and devastated. You will end up wanting to be alone and start to overthink a lot which will only make it worse. But, there are certain measures that you need to take in order to be able to get over them. They are as follows. 

Unfollow Or Block Him Or Her From All Your Social Media And Get Rid Of His Or Her Things (gifts, letters, etc.)

Seeing your ex's posts, again and again, can never go in your favor. You can never get over someone that you always come across their social media or their stuff at home, moreover, if your ex is now with someone new then that can make things a lot worse.

So the best you can do is remove them and their memories from everywhere. Burn their letters, return their gifts, and do anything you can to avoid them the best.

Tell Your Friends To Not Talk About Him Or Her 

Most of the time our friends can not really figure out if we are going through a tough phase unless and until we tell them.

So, if your friends are unaware of your situation, and bring your ex's topics every now and then when they are with you, then all you have to do is tell them that you are not okay with them talking to you about your ex, and trust me it works and they will never feel bad. 

Find A Distraction

Get on dating apps, start a new hobby or restart an old hobby. Finding a distraction and spending the time on things you truly enjoy or just spending time meeting new people and knowing them can be of great help! Get on the dating apps, set up a profile, and shoot your shot with the people you like! Ask your crush out or take your best friend on an amazing friendship date. Distract yourself with an activity or a person for the time being, till the emotional bursts go away!

Focus On Personal Growth

When going through a break-up, we have a lot of emotions that need to be dealt with. It’s better to keep your energy healthy in order to not turn toxic. Focusing on yourself and your personal growth is very important, and now that you have more time in your hands, spend it on yourself!

Go to the parties/ shows/ events you always wanted to attend, exercise more than you used to and maintain a healthier lifestyle, travel to new places and meet new people, explore cultures and traditions of the outside world and make yourself happy in the end.

Take Professional Help

The damage that a breakup leaves us with is not easy to recover from. You can talk to your friends and family but at the end of the day they can not help you with the manner in which you need to be helped and that can only be done by a professional therapist, so find a therapist and make an appointment, they can give you exercises and advises to heal from this


Why do I miss my ex even though I am in a relationship?

It is normal to miss your ex when you are in a relationship, especially when the past relationship was something significant and meaningful. The new experiences that you are having with your current partner might have played a role in bringing back those memories, some of the traits of your present partner might be matching with your ex and that can play a role in this too.

How do I know if my ex has moved on?

You can notice it from the way they behave around or with you, if they do not text you as much as they used to or if they look happier than they used to, or if he or she is with someone new and looks happy with his or her new partner then you can guess that they are pretty much over you. 

How to stop thinking about an ex who is with someone else now? 

It is never easy to see someone that you loved and cared for so much with someone new, but if he or she is with someone new then you should definitely stop suffering and try and get over it. You may start with unfollowing them or blocking them from all social media, delete his or her number, delete all your old chats, delete all of his or her pictures, return all the gifts, and stop stalking them. If you still cannot stop it after a while then you must seek professional help.

I have a new boyfriend but my ex wants me back., what should I do?

If your ex really wanted you, he should never have left you in the first place. He is someone who can not see you happy with someone else, so he is hell-bent on ruining it for you. He could also be lonely and has not met anyone after you, you should cut all contacts with him and enjoy your new experiences with your partner and not let him bother you. 


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