It’s natural to miss a person whom you’ve been with for a long time. We are human beings. We have emotions and it’s obvious to miss that one special person when he/she is no longer in your life.
But breakups are never a sweet experience. They involve fights, anger, negativity, sadness, and a lot of other things. Most couples break up when they are having a rough patch in their relationship when they know that they can’t carry on with the relationship anymore.
Hence, couples often make impulsive decisions and never think about what life is gonna look like after the breakup. Am I going to miss him/her? Will he/she miss me or not? Am I going to feel lonely? Who will listen to all my silly stories? And many such questions like this do not initially come to mind. But after a while, all these start spinning in our heads.
However, dumpers take a little bit more time than dumpees. It’s quite common for the dumpees to miss the dumper at first. Obviously, they didn’t want the relationship to break. Otherwise, they would be wearing the Dumper’s hat. Right?
For most dumpees, it comes as a blow when suddenly they are dumped. For some others, it’s like an emotional shock and they start missing their ex from the very first day.
But what does this happen for the dumper? Does he/she actually miss the dumpee? Well, to give you an honest answer. Yes, they do miss. At one point in time or another, they do miss their ex.it can be even for just a moment. Like finding an old picture on FB, or a school friend mentioning the name of their ex, - the memory of the dumpee flashes in the minds of the dumpers and they miss them.
So when does the dumper start missing the dumpee? For a long-term relationship, the dumper starts to miss the dumpee after a week. However, if the relationship was for a few months or a casual one, the dumper misses after a month or so. In some cases, the dumper misses the dumpee even after 5 or 6 months of the breakup.
If you want to escalate this process faster check out this video presentation which will help you with some mind-bending secrets that will surely get your ex to regret the decision, start wanting to talk to you, and hang out with you again.
So The Question Often Arises, If He/She Is The Dumper, Why Would They Miss The Dumpee At All?
As I said before, emotions and hearts have no logic whatsoever. The dumper too misses the dumpee and there are various reasons for that.
- Dumpers realize their Mistake
A relationship has many ups and downs. If the dumper has bad habits like lying to their partners, not giving enough time and attention, being flirtatious with other boys/girls, making unnecessary excuses, blaming their partner for the tiniest thing, it is obvious that the dumpee will get annoyed at some point.
And the inevitable result is a fight. Dumpers do not realize their mistakes when their partner actually points out them. Rather they argue more and try to put the blame on the girlfriend/boyfriend.
They lack the maturity to understand their mistakes and to put an end to these consistent fights, they break up with their partners. Only to realize their mistake after the mishap.
When the dumpers spend some alone time after the break-up, they start understanding their mistakes. Even their friends help them to understand that actually He/She was in the wrong and not the other way around.
It’s that time that they start missing the dumpees. They think maybe the ending to their relationship could have been different if he/she was able to accept the mistakes and work on them.
For some dumpers, it can take a month to grasp their mistakes while for others it can take more than 3 or 4 months.
- Dumper thinks it was a silly decision
Not every relationship ends because of a huge problem or a mistake. Sometimes couples have trivial issues between them and they blow it out of proportion. Instead of working on these small issues and resolving them, they get involved in more and more flights and the relationship starts to feel bitter.
Often in such situations, the dumpers, out of impulsiveness, break up with their partners. Basically, the dumpers run away from taking any kind of responsibility or making any changes in their behavior to get a solution. They feel that it’s better to break up than to put the effort into this relationship.
But very soon, they recognize that it was a silly decision. Let me tell you a story of one of my college friends.
Becky and Eric were in a relationship for more than 2 years. They were a very sweet couple. But Eric had this habit of forgetting things. Becky never paid much attention to this. However, once Eric forgot Becky’s birthday and that made Becky quite sad. When she told Eric that she was hurt, Eric just burst out into anger.
In his defense, Eric said that it’s just a small mistake. People can forget many things. There’s no need to make a huge issue out of this. And, after this incident Eric dumped Becky, saying that Becky always creates unnecessary fights and puts pressure on him.
Guess what happened then, Eric called Becky to apologize for his decision. He wanted to get back to her because he understood it was a silly reason to break up.
So whenever, the dumpers dump their partners because of such stupid reasons, they start missing their partners very soon.
- Dumpers feel lonely
Dumpers miss the dumpees when they feel quite lonely. And it’s not unnatural to happen. Once you share your life and time with someone, you start to feel lonely when they are gone.
In a relationship, that’s the most exciting part when you’ve someone to share your stories with. You know that at the end of the day there is that one special person in my life who would listen to everything, who would be beside me no matter what.
After a few days after the breakup, dumpers do realize that they are alone now. Although in the initial times, they spend time with their friend hanging out and partying, but after a certain point, that feeling of having one special person really hurts them.
I agree our friends help us a lot during or after a breakup. But they are not always with us. They have a life of their own too. So on a Saturday night, when you sit on your balcony and listen to music, you surely wish to be accompanied by your partner.
Also, when dumpers fail to share the important or intimate details of their lives or families, they feel lonely because their Ex-partner was their safe place. They could confide in them their deepest, darkest secret. But that special place is no longer there. Hence they really miss their dumpees a lot.
- Dumpers are guilty
Yes, when dumpers are guilty of their behavior and actions, they miss their dumpees. In breakups that happen for serious causes like cheating, this scenario is very common.
The dumpers don’t accept their fault at the beginning. When their partners find out that they have been cheating on them, they fight it out.
However, there are some dumpers who don’t accept this and think cheating is ‘Okay’. Instead of admitting their grave mistake, they accuse their partners of various baseless reasons, and eventually, they break up.
These kinds of breakups are usually very nasty. Already the dumpee is super hurt by the dumper’s behavior and now they have to go through another heartbreak. Obviously, the dumpees are shattered at this point.
Dumpers also hurt the dumpees a lot. Not only with their previous unacceptable behavior but also during the break up they bad-mouth their partners, use harsh words and make them cry.
But it’s only after a few weeks that the dumpers actually understand that they have been rude and wrong in their behavior. They feel guilty for hurting their partner so much whom they loved once.
They realize they shouldn’t have hurt their partners so much. Out of guilt, the dumpers miss the dumpees.
- When the dumpers move on
Dumpers are very confident. They break up with their partners and move on with a new girlfriend or boyfriend pretty soon.
But to find that one perfect person for yourself, isn’t a cakewalk. Every relationship begins on a very sweet note. Slowly, a couple finds out the differences between them and that leads to problems.
Often the dumpers go on a rebound after dumping their ex. However, they miss their dumpees when they aren’t happy in their next relationship. Although they move on pretty confidently, they miss their old relationship.
Mostly it happens for couples when they were in a very long relationship for more than 5 or 6 years. The dumper misses that old charm of his/her previous relationship, the comfort and the trust that the two shared.
One can’t possibly find the same qualities of their ex-partner in their new partner. Maybe the new partner’s eating preferences, likes and dislikes, his/her way of dressing is not the same as the dumpers. The dumper gradually finds out that he was more compatible with his/her ex-partner than he is now.
Also, these constant differences often make the dumpers unhappy. They don’t find any kind of contentment in their new relationship anymore. They understand that it was just a temporary relief and nothing else. The dumper’s heart is very much tied to his/her old partner. And that’s when they miss their dumpees a lot.
How To Know If Your Dumper Misses You?
- You are unblocked. Your dumper blocked you from all social media platforms when he/she dumped you. Now suddenly you find yourself unblocked. This is a sign that tells you that your dumper misses you.
- When they like your recent pictures on your FB or Instagram. If you two were in a “no-contact” zone after the breakup, you are not supposed to know what’s happening in your ex’s life. But you suddenly find your dumpers liking all your recent pictures. It means they miss you and want to see your latest life updates.
- You receive a birthday wish from them. You and your dumper have broken up a few months before your birthday and now suddenly you get a birthday wish from them. It was unexpected for you since you were dumped. But when you receive a wish from your dumper it means they miss you and want you to remind that they still remember your special day.
- A casual text from your dumper. When the dumper misses their dumpees, they want to start a conversation with them. For that, they often send random texts like - “how are you”, “ what’s going on” etc. When you receive texts like this, it surely suggests that your dumper missing you and that’s why they want to talk to you.
If You’re The Dumpee And You’re Missing Your Dumper, Then What Should You Do?
Don’t worry, I have some awesome tips to help you out.
- Take a social media detox. Yes, this one is super effective. When you start missing your ex, you go on their social media profiles, stalk them, see all their stories, read all their comments, etc. This will make you miss the person even more. So, switch off your phone for a while or deactivate all your FB or Instagram accounts for at least a week. Deliberately try not to look at all the old pictures and stop stalking them, or getting any updates about them from other friends. This will give your mind a break and you’ll also be able to slowly forget your dumper.
- Go on a trip. I’m sure you have some places on your bucket list that you wish to visit. Take this time and unwind yourself in the lap of nature. Go to a beach or to a hill station. Spend some time alone and reflect on the situation. Don’t again make any such past mistakes. Rather take this time to work on your habits and actions.
- Be occupied. When you put your minds onto other things, your heart will not wander to your ex again. Read books, finish off your pending assignments, do something productive. If you have a sibling, help them in their studies or help your friend in his/her projects. Just keep your mind busy doing other things.
- Pick up hobbies. We all have some childhood hobbies that we forget as we grow up. This is a perfect time to once again rekindle those memories. So take out your old painting book or your guitar. Or you can pick up some entirely new hobbies like gardening, blogging/vlogging, etc.
- Spend time with your family. We neglect family time whenever we are in a relationship. So use this time to spend time with your family. Also, you can share your emotions and feelings with your parents which would definitely take some burden off your shoulders.
- Focus on your career. If you had plans or going overseas for studies or for jobs, but you could not due to your relationship, you should consider that once again. This process will require a lot of hard work and take up your time giving you hardly any time to miss your ex.
- Don’t go for a rebound. I can’t emphasize this more. You should never go for a rebound when you miss your ex. This will only put more mental pressure on you. On the one hand, you still miss your ex and on the other, you have to build a new relationship. That’s too much for your heart to handle. So give some time to yourself. Love will find its way once again in your life.
- Throw away their gifts. It sounds harsh. But if their gifts keep reminding you of them, then you must throw them away. Or hide it in a place that is not visible. This will help you a lot in dealing with this situation. Also, delete the pictures from your phone not only to declutter your device but also your mind.
- Move on and start dating others. How long you want to be in the depressed stage? Just move on, meet some new people, start dating. You know what, the only way to find your love of the life by meeting like minded people. Platform like eharmony should be your go-to place.
These are some of the things you can do when you miss your dumper. But what if you can’t handle this separation?
Before texting or calling them, remember why you were dumped? Who was responsible for the dump? If you were the one who made mistakes, then you have a chance to make that up.
If you are genuinely sorry for what you did, you can send your dumper a text. Do remember that you have to be genuine and apologize with all your heart. Again, if it was a recent breakup, you can call your dumper as well keeping in mind how and why the relationship ended.
Do not force them to meet you if they aren’t willing to. See their reactions after getting calls or texts from you and act accordingly.
But, if this was the other way around, you must rethink before taking any steps. You should not tread the path once again where you’ve been hurt and humiliated. Let time be the healer for you and don’t go back to your toxic dumper.
However, if you want to go back to your partner, first rectify yourself. Wait patiently for their responses. See whether they are ready to go back with you again. Have an honest discussion on how you two can make things better, trust each other once again and start afresh.
Get clarity before getting back to your ex.
Have you been the dumper in your relationship? When did you start missing your ex and how did you cope with it? Let us know your experiences in the comments below.
Also, don't forget to check out this video presentation (The Ex Factor) to get back to your ex sooner.
Remember, breakups are not the end of the world. Make yourself a better person and love will grace you once again.