Men vs Women: Who Hurts More After A Breakup? [Decoded]

Women suffered more heartache and emotional pain in the aftermath of a breakup than men did, but their hearts also mended quicker, so they could move on with their lives. Men can move on after a breakup, though they never fully recover.
Megha Chanda
a drawing of broken heart on a cloth
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A breakup can be a painful experience for both men and women. For some individuals, it may take months before they are over their breakup. This is because couples have an unexplainable love bond that can be kind of hard to get over. Breakup is like a shock, like a wound that has to be healed. It can leave painful scars on your mind or soul. Sometimes the only thing that feels good is to cry, cry until your heartaches, and you're too tired to feel any more.

It is a natural process, though, and is a part of great love stories. If there were no breakups, there would also be no beautiful stories of a couple reuniting again. 

A breakup always hurts, regardless of whether you're a man or a woman. It has been shown that the recovery process differs in various ways for each gender.

 Women often experience more emotional and physical pain when their romantic relationships fall apart. After a breakup, women are at higher risk of experiencing extreme emotional and physical responses than men. Nevertheless, they also tend to bounce back faster than their male counterparts.

Who Is Affected More By A Breakup According To Research? 

Heartbreak is not easy to get through, especially when the person you entirely relied upon turned out to be someone completely different. But who bears more pain after a breakup? This study has all the answers.

This study was done on a massive scale and got published in the Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences journal. It interviewed 5,705 participants from 96 countries. The researchers found that women tend to take longer to get over a relationship than men. They suggest this is because women take longer to invest in a relationship. So if they experience higher levels of commitment and investment in it, they would be more affected by the breakup than the guy involved.

While women tend better to understand themselves and their needs from a relationship, men have a completely different way of dealing with the situation. Women are better at communicating, while men share poorly under stress. Men tend to ignore their emotions and do not try to understand their personal needs and the breakup. 

How Both Male And Female React After Break Up?

The heartaches caused by a breakup are real. 

#1 Who Has More Endurance?

WOMEN: The pain of loneliness lingers for both men and women, but it can hurt more for women because they are wired to attach themselves emotionally to their partners.

 Since women experience the pain of a breakup more acutely, they tend to be warier about getting into relationships after a bad one. Therefore, to avoid physical and emotional suffering after a breakup, there is no easy remedy.

So, the next time you hear a woman talk about how she is experiencing a broken heart from a breakup, you can understand that there is a good reason for it. The best part about the psychology of a woman after a breakup is that her pain starts high and then gradually subsides as she works on rebuilding her life.

MEN: Men are often less hurt by a breakup in the initial stages since they can deny their feelings or distract themselves. Men are taught that it is manly to avoid pain, making them less willing to deal with their feelings after a relationship ends.  

The average man has different concerns after a breakup than a middle woman. Men don't experience the kind of hormonal meltdown that women do. For men, the immediate pain is relatively low. 

This can be dangerous since you will avoid coping with the emotions that the breakup brings up.

#2 Who Has The Power To Vocalize Their Feeling Without Hesitation?

There is a huge difference between men and women when it comes to discussing their problems. A woman would rather scream, shout, and share her feelings with everyone close to her.

WOMEN: Girl is likely to be surrounded by people who not just value her happiness and well-being but also care deeply about what's going on in her life. With no hesitation, she might open up to them and talk about how she misses her ex and misses the relationship and how things could be better in the relationship. It's her way of eradicating loneliness and venting out all that bottled-up longing.

That's what makes women so wonderful. A good woman knows that a bad breakup doesn't have to be an entirely negative experience. Her best friend, after all, is a mirror in which she can see what she didn't like about the relationship, and when another couple goes through a breakup, she does everything in her power to make them feel better. After all, it could happen to anyone, right?

MEN: As an adult, if you were raised to believe that emotions and tears equal weakness and the inability to deal with problems, you'd suppress those emotions as much as possible. You want to be perceived as strong and in control; you don't want people to think that you're weak and vulnerable, for they thrive on such people's vulnerability like they do on fear.

This is why there are men who simply 'man up' and don't talk about their feelings after a breakup; they feel broken or inadequate; they feel they would look like wusses, and it would damage their reputation among other guys.

The reality is that even today, we still carry with us ideas about masculinity and femininity, and many of these ideas are really conflicting. So, some people don't cry after a breakup because they want to prove that they're not as 'sensitive' as some girls.

#3 Who Deals The Different Stages Of Breakup Better?

Reality hits right away after the breakup. Each stage has a specific part to play in the breakup recovery process. Often, it is not easy for men to accept the fact that they are starting over again. But this process must be completed before the individual can move forward and experience new romantic love.

WOMEN: The stages of a breakup are quite different for girls. A girl's first reaction, more often than the guy's, is to become too dependent on her ex. She becomes overly worried about his feelings, doing anything possible to please him so that their mutual feelings wouldn't be hurt further. Girls tend to have a harder time letting go. That's why they need more time to adjust.

For girls, the breakup process is slightly different. It typically goes through stages of crying, feeling lonely and rejected, getting angry with the guy causing him pain, true acceptance of the breakup, the need to let go of the past, regaining confidence in herself, and newfound independence leading to a positive sense of being.

MEN: When a man breaks up with his partner, he struggles to regain his sense of pride after the relationship has ended. This is a lousy way to handle a breakup. Instead of dealing with his emotions, he runs from them. He bottles them up and then lets them fester into something that can destroy everything in life that was important to him.

If the man cannot overcome the pain and suppress his urge to change things, he can become isolated and bitter towards his ex-girlfriend and women in general.

#4 Who Deals Self-Esteem Better?

WOMEN: Breakups can be devastating to men and women, but for different reasons. Women, who tend to be more empathetic and nurturing than their male counterparts, often find it hard to let go of a relationship and move on because they develop such a strong emotional attachment to the person they were dating. Men do too, but not as much as women, and for this reason, breakups affect their self-esteem more than it does for women.

MEN: When a relationship winds down and ends, men tend to think it's their fault. The loss is directly associated with their self-worth. When you meet a man after a split, he may feel insecure about how he can reassure you that he has value. A breakup can be damaging to a man's self-esteem, according to the study. It takes a man, on average, over twice as long as it takes a woman to recover from a breakup, which means he is left with the haunting sense of what might have been for over six months longer than she is.

It's common for guys to start questioning everything after a breakup, especially when it comes to what they could have done to keep their partner in the relationship. They may think about whether they were good enough for their partner or if their partner just wasn't into them in the same way. This is normal, and it's important to take the time in order to go through this process of healing after a breakup in order to move on with your life.

Some post-breakup stress is inevitable, irrespective of whether you are a man or a woman, the dumper or dumpee. However, the sense of stress is more heightened in men than it is in women.

#5 Who Heals Faster?

A study conducted at Binghamton University suggests that women are more profoundly affected by the emotional pain typically associated with a breakup. The study also suggests that men are actually slower to begin dating again after a breakup.

WOMEN: For women, the breakup can be an emotionally painful experience. They may feel like they've lost their only chance at love, and everything will feel different without their partner by their side. Cut off from a partner in a relationship; a woman will have to face the world without the support of another person. They begin to move forward in their lives without the help of the other partner and establish routines.

MEN: The average man has different concerns after a breakup than a middle woman. Men don't experience the kind of hormonal meltdown that women do. For men, the immediate pain is relatively low. 

In Conclusion

There will always be bumps and ups and downs in any relationship. There is no such thing as perfection, and we all fall short of it sometimes. But we learn from these mistakes, and we grow stronger with every experience, good or bad.

If we always expect perfection from our relationships with friends or family members, then we will always be disappointed and let down each time they don't meet our high expectations. To expect perfection from one person just isn't possible, but also to let them down can be tough to handle at times.


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