How Should You Respond To Your Ex Wishing You A Happy Birthday?

Ahiri Chakraborty
How Should You Respond To Your Ex Wishing You A Happy Birthday
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Imagine, you are having a grand birthday celebration. All of your close friends have come, you guys are dancing and sipping on your favorite wine. You are just about to unbox the birthday gifts, but one notification from your phone distracts you.

What’s that? To your utter surprise, it is your Ex, with whom you had broken up and you are really having a good time without that person’s existence in your life.

What to do now? Will you let that one birthday wish from your ex ruin your mood or trigger all the bad experiences that you had with him/her?

The answer is a big No!

It is your special day and never a person from the past can have that power to ruin your day.

How To Respond To Your Ex Wishing You Happy Birthday?

The best way to handle such texts is no response at all. Never fall for that trap of your ex. If you want to respond out of kindness, let that reply be a simple “ thank you”, just the way you respond to the people posting on your FB wall. The reign is in your hand. It’s your birthday, make the most of it. 

Why Is Your Ex Wishing You A Happy Birthday?

Let’s first explore why your ex is wishing you a happy birthday? No doubt it is surprising for you to get a text from your ex after being apart for one year or six months. 

The first question that obviously strikes your mind is - Why is he/she texting me to wish?

The reasons can be many.

  • Your ex felt guilty for his/her bad behavior. This is the most common reason for your ex to wish you a happy birthday. He/she starts to feel bad about all their past mistakes and thinks that wishing you on your birthday will make you realize that they have accepted their mistakes. 
  • He/she wants to remind you that even if you two have broken up, he/she still remembers your birthday and it is a way for them to let go of horrible memories from the past.
  • If it’s a recent breakup, it can be the simplest way to try for your ex to get back to you. Your birthday reminder popped up on their social media platforms and he/she wished you out of courtesy. No feelings involved. Keep that in mind.
  • He/she really wants to start a conversation with you and a sweet birthday message is the safest option to go for.
  • He/she wants to see your response. Is your response positive, neutral, or negative? So that they can get clarity, whether you have moved on or not. 
  • Your ex is just too curious about your life. He/she wants to have a glimpse of your life updates. How and where are you celebrating, are you having more fun without him/her, do you have a special someone on this year’s birthday.

As you saw, the reasons are just too many. But did you notice one thing? It’s all about themselves, your Ex.  “You” are hardly involved in these scenarios.

Basically, it depends upon you how you respond and how you handle the whole situation.

Let’s dig deeper now.

How To Respond If Your Ex Wishes You After A Long Breakup?

People have experiences where their ex has wished them a happy birthday after three or four years of breakup. In such cases, exes wish not to patch up or reconnect once again. They feel that a long time has passed and there is no harm in wishing happy birthday to someone with whom they have spent some time.

We actually end up wishing so many random people on our FB or Instagram. So the same psychology works for them. Here, your Ex is not thinking about you or has no feelings for you. It is just a cordial gesture for them.

So what should you do? If you are in a similar position, you might be in awe for a little after getting the text out of nowhere. But don’t let that one single happy birthday text overwhelm you.

You need to understand, this is just a wish and there is no deep meaning underneath it. Just as they wished you out of courtesy, you too respond with a “Thank you” as a courtesy.

There is no logic in holding any grudges against your Ex even after so long. Right?

But do remember, the response should just be a “thank you”. No emoticon and no unnecessary texts.

Your response will give your ex the signal, that you also have no feelings for him/her whatsoever. Their wish did not make you angry or upset. Rather you took your ex’s wish sportingly and responded in a gentle yet formal manner.
Sounds good?

How To Respond To A Long Birthday Wish From Your Ex?

Ex’s can give troubles sometimes even if they are no longer in your life. They suddenly come up with long messages or even some go the extra length and send an email.

It can totally mess up your peace of mind for some time. You should ideally not read that text or email on your birthday. You get the notification, see your ex’s name and you put aside your mobile phone.

You must carry on with all the birthday preparations and celebrations. Go to the parlor and get that manicure. For boys, call up your guy gang and have fun with them.

But do not read that text or mail on the same day. The next day, you wake up with a fresh mind and let all the birthday happiness soak your mind and soul. When you are free during the evening, have a look at that wish.

For some ex-partners, this birthday wish is a weapon to get back to you. That’s why they write such long messages where he/she vents out their feelings. It starts with a simple “happy birthday”, goes on to “how are you” and then it becomes all about them and their feelings.

He/she writes about what went wrong, how you two could have solved the problems and reconciled a long ago, how he/she was not the only one who made mistakes and the rant goes on and on.

It is sure to annoy you at first. After all, you two broke up mutually and there were solid reasons for that. So why now writing such crap and that too on your birthday?

It is meaningless and that’s why you too should not indulge in such wishes at all. This birthday wish was not for you, you must get that. It was how things could have been. So, do not respond to a text like that and ignore it.

If you reply, the conversation will go on and it will not be a happy ending. Do you really want another heartbreak? No, right.

So ignore and don’t respond. Your ex will never wish you on your birthday.

How To Respond To A Birthday Call From Your Ex?

Getting a call from your ex on your birthday is rare. However, you can’t totally dismiss this option. You might get a call from him/her.

You will be shocked at first sure. Probably you had deleted his/her number. So you picked up the call expecting a from your school friend or your office colleague or a relative, but as soon as you heard the voice of your ex you were numb. It happens and it is natural.

If you are in a call with your ex, firstly respond to them with a thank you, to begin with. You might say that this call was totally unexpected. And then you need to respond according to your ex’s tone. If you see, he/she is trying to be too friendly or trying to know about your life updates, you can simply say- “I have a lot of guests coming, we will catch up later”. You just end the call there.

If your ex is casual in his/her tone and asks nothing about your personal life, then you too be causal in your approach. Talk to him/her just like any other friend. Ask a little bit about their health or jobs or where is he/she currently living. Then you can sweetly end the call by saying –“ It was nice catching up after long. Take care”.

If your ex’s call really disturbs you in the very beginning, you can hang up the call just by saying a firm ”thanks’' and nothing else. And if he/she repeatedly calls you to have a chat with you on your birthday, you can ignore their calls, or put your phone on silent mode.

Remember, your relationship has already ended, so even if you become a little harsh in your response, it’s fine. After all, he/she called you and not you. And it’s your special day, no one else has the right to ruin it.

How To Respond When Your Ex Wishes You A Happy Birthday To Get Back To You?

If you two broke up recently, and your ex hasn’t moved on yet, they wait for your birthday. He/she wants to make the most of your birthday by wishing you a very sweet birthday message. He/she also express their feelings about how it has been difficult without you, how much they miss you and how much they want to forget all the bitter past and get back to you.

They clear by wishing you what they want and they want you to know that partially the reasons for wishing you were to get back to you.

In such a scenario, the ball is really in your court. Were you waiting for your ex’s wish? Has it been difficult for you too, to move on? Do you still feel that he/she was the right one for you and there is a way of resolving issues and come to terms together once again?

If your answer has been Yes to all the above questions, then definitely respond to your ex positively. Do not be rude or bring up the past once again. Rather focus on how you two can rectify your mistakes and be together now.
Be happy that your ex still misses you, and hasn’t forgotten you or about your special day. You still hold a precious place in his/her heart. So talk to them and probably meet them on your birthday or the next day. Do not delay because a face-to-face conversation is a way to go for.

Take that birthday wish as a catalyst for you two to get back together.

But if you completely lost your cool by seeing that birthday wish from your ex along with their intention to patch up, then you should stay away from any kind of conversation.

It’s not advisable to respond even in a neutral way because things will get once again nasty. You two will end up hurting each other. Do not reply to that wish and pass on.

You might take a little bit of time to heal but not let that wish disturb your healing process. If your ex wanted to patch up, he/she would not have waited for your birthday to come. They would have tried their best to patch up before and surprise you with your favorite chocolates on your birthday.

Final Words

Eventually, it depends on you. Your response will further determine the future bond with your ex. You can still be friends and wish each other on birthdays and nothing else. You can get back to him if you two broke up for a very stupid reason. Also, you can move on and treat that wish just as another wish from a person you knew and not overthink it. 

The effect of your ex’s wish on your birthday can last long. So, respond wisely. 

Always remember, you and your happiness come first. 

Have you faced any situation mentioned above in your life? How did you tackle it? Let us know in the comment section below all your crazy experiences. 


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