Should You Wish Your Ex Happy Birthday During No Contact?

Ahiri Chakraborty
Should You Wish Your Ex Happy Birthday During No Contact
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You did not have a happily-ever-after with your bae. Although you have pretty much forgotten the memories of your past relationship, one thing is still not ready to leave your brain. What’s that? Your ex’s birthday.

It is uncommon or surprising to remember your ex’s birthday. It’s just a date after all. But you had special memories attached to it once. Now the special factor must have gone but the day is still lingering in your head, even though you two are totally out of touch.

You are now caught in the most dreaded situation- to wish your ex on his/her birthday or not? It’s a battle between the heart and the brain.

Your heart is probably saying you- “She/he holds no place in your life anymore. So why do you need to wish?”

On the other hand, your brain is constantly bothering you- What’s the harm in wishing your ex a simple “happy birthday”?

The situation becomes more tricky when you two are in a no-contact term. Isn’t it odd to receive a wish out of nowhere from your ex? Yes, actually it is.

So, should you wish your ex a happy birthday during no contact?

No, you should not ideally wish your ex a happy birthday during no contact. However, it can vary in different situations, like if you two ended up being good friends, or it was a mutual breakup, it is fine. But if you have been dumped it’s not a good idea to wish your ex.

Why Is It Difficult To Forget Your Ex’s Birthday?

Well, you two spent a considerable amount of time with each other. You guys celebrated your first month anniversary, to your actual anniversary, to the small joys and achievements of each other together. And of all of them, birthdays are the most special and memorable ones.

Simply because you want your partner to surprise you with their favorite gifts or that dress she has wishlisted for a long time. Your partner too waits for your gift the most. He/she is also curious to know how much you know them, do you really know their taste, etc.

Many couples spend their birthdays in a very unique way by taking a trip together or going for candlelight dinner
So it is quite obvious for you not to forget your ex’s birthday so easily.

Although you are in no contact, that date in the calendar still reminds you of your ex’s birthday. Even though you have forgotten Facebook or Google is still there to remind you by a notification.

Mane people are just triggered by their ex’s birthday notification and start wondering what to do? Keeping all the scenarios in mind, it is hard to forget your ex’s birthday.

Is It A Rule To Not Wish Your Ex A “Happy Birthday” During No-Contact?

No there is no hard and fast rule like that. It is your choice at the end of the day. And by the way, who makes rules? People make the rule and they only break them. So it’s totally up to you whether you really want to wish your ex a happy birthday during no-contact.

But let’s define no-contact a little bit. Couples who break up on a serious note such as cheating or lack of emotional attachment opt for the no-contact rule. He/she prefers not to have any kind of communication after an awful heartbreak. It also helps them to heal better.

There are couples who fight terribly and decide not to talk with each other out of anger. This happens mostly for stupid reasons like forgetting to call, or not spending enough time with your partner. One of you thinks not keeping any contact will make you realize their worth. Hence, you just end your communication there.

No contact is very much applicable for middle school couples or college couples. In their cases, they date quite casually without actually thinking about the future. And after a point, both of them realize that it was a silly school love.

They grow out of each other. Here, no bad feelings are attached. They just take different paths of life and in the midst of life and career, you two end up having zero contact.

Should I Wish My Ex a “Happy Birthday” When I Was The One Who Broke Up?

Did you end your relationship? Were you really hurt by the actions of your ex that you had to take such a drastic step for your relationship? If yes then, it is not at all a good idea to wish your ex on his/her birthday.

If you wish, your ex will get a signal that you still haven’t moved on. Also, it shows you that you lack self-respect and self-control. You still have a tad bit of emotion left for her/him and in a spur of the moment, you wished them.

This will be a wrong move on your part. You do not want to appear weak in front of your ex who once hurt you terribly. By wishing them, you will give them a chance to contact you once again. And in that case, they might attack you bringing up the past like how you reacted too much, how you blamed him/her for all the misdeed. As you see, you will be in a false position.

You will only regret wishing him/her. Probably, you wished just out courtesy, or without thinking too much, but your ex can take it in a different way and start manipulating you. Don’t give him/her the reign to tear you up repeatedly.
Why do you want to mess up your heart again with someone who is just a part of your past?

The best advice is to not wish your ex. Move on and put more focus on yourself. You are more worthy than this. Treat it just like any other day of the week. Go for a drink with your friends after work and just chill.

Should I Wish My Ex A “Happy Birthday” When I Got Dumped?

If you were the one who got dumped most likely you too are in a no-contact zone. Obviously, you will not like to have any contact with a person who left you. Right?

In this case, even if the idea of wishing your ex on his/her birthday occurs to you, you should totally eliminate it.
Do not lessen your worth in front of your ex by sending a silly birthday message.

They are not even thinking about you. They are celebrating their best birthday without you because don’t forget they were the ones who dumped you. Receiving a birthday wish from you is the last thing they want.

So, dump that idea quickly. If you wish at all, you will be responded to in an extremely negative manner. First of all, they might not respond to your text at all. Secondly, you will become a laughing stock in front of them. He/she is surely going to make fun of you with their friends about your stupid move.

Once again, your mood will be ruined. He/she will continue to have fun without you and your wish anyway.

Should I Wish My Ex “Happy Birthday” When I Am In Another Relationship?

You have moved on. You are probably in a better relationship now. And why you shouldn’t be? Everyone deserves a happy and healthy relationship. Do you think it’s good to wish your ex a “happy birthday” at this time? The straight answer is No.

Even it’s been just a few months, a year, or two years that you have ended your previous relationship, it can never be a good idea to wish your ex.

You really don’t want to upset your current boyfriend or girlfriend. This move of yours will upset your partner no matter what. It will show them that you still remember your ex’s birthday, maybe your ex’s birthday still matters to you a little bit. It can also mean, that you not only have forgotten their birthday, but also you have not gotten over them yet.

These are the red flags of your action. Even if you have a stable, mature relationship, a wish to your ex does have the potential to mess your present relationship. Especially, you two are planning for a future together.

For you, only your partner should be the most special one and no one else. And they want to feel special always. So if you wish even casually, it can break their trust for you. he/she will start feeling that they are no longer the only special person in your life.

You are somehow still holding onto your past by remembering and wishing them on their birthday.

This is suitable for live-in and married couples as well. If you two are living together, you are quite serious about each other. You definitely don’t want your partner to wake up and see you texting your Ex on their birthday. Be sure to have the worst day if not the worst week. A huge fight is on your way.

Again, if you are married, the idea once again should be discarded totally. You don’t have to show your maturity to your husband or wife by wishing your ex a “happy birthday”.

You might be thinking your gesture would seem to your husband/wife as if you wishing your ex is insignificant. But it can have opposite reactions. Do not hurt your significant other and let them feel less important. Your action can have a long-term effect on your marriage. So stay away.

Should I Wish My Ex Because He/She Wished Me On My Birthday?

It should not happen ideally in a no-contact phase. But even if you got a wish from your ex on your birthday, you start thinking of returning the same gesture to him/her. It did not bother you when you got a wish from them. Now, when their birthday is around the corner and you are constantly battling with your mind to wish or not to wish.

In an instance like this, you can wish your ex on his/her birthday. If you won’t you would come across as a rude person to your ex. Well, if your image still matters to your ex, you should wish it as a sweet gesture. Just a “I wish you a happy birthday” is enough.

There is no need for small talk. Don’t indulge in any other conversation. You do not want to know their life updates. So stop right there.

If you two have remained friends with each other after the break-up, then also wishing your ex is not a bad thing. But you two should be genuine friends. No feelings other than friendship should be attached to your ex. Otherwise, it can harm you both because you two will never be able to move on fully in your life.

Even though you move on, your next partner will always be annoyed or suspicious of your “so-called- friendship” with your ex.

Again, you have received a birthday wish from your ex but you do not want to keep any contact with your ex. You are strict about this no-contact protocol. Then the best way would be not to wish him/her on their birthday.

Someone has to stop this thread of wishing each other. You can be that person. Do not wish him/her and be sure to not receive any wishes from your next birthday. Cheers!


Even if you end up wising ultimately, brace yourself with various responses or no responses at all. You might get a formal “Thanks” from your Ex. Or your ex can get really bumped up to see an unwanted wish from you on his/her special day and block you out of rage. And lastly, your wish will be not replied to ever again.

Having a look at all the possible circumstances, it is best for you to not wish your ex during no-contact. Only it can work if you two are on friendly terms otherwise this is not suggested at any cost.

Keep your wish for him/her in your prayers, from a distance. Don’t let old love come into your way.


Start a conversation. Or give us feedback.

2 comments on “Should You Wish Your Ex Happy Birthday During No Contact?”

  1. Thanks Ahiri for writing such a brilliant article, perhaps the most difficult decision-making day for me as today is her birthday and we haven’t talked to each other for nearly sixteen years or so and I was in a real dilemma whether to wish her or not. But reading through your article provided a lot of insights (especially the various scenarios, not sure if I can fit myself in any though) on what could possibly happen, and I concur that it just doesn’t make a lot of sense! to extend the wishes in a no-contact relationship.

    1. Thank you Rahul for your feedback. Thanks for devoting your precious time to reading my article. I am glad my article could help you in making a decision. I really appreciate your kind and encouraging words.

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