I Texted My Ex Happy Birthday And No Response: Here's Why!

Megha Chanda
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Birthday texts are still a good idea, and you should keep sending them. But don't be surprised or hurt if you don't get one back. If it's your ex's birthday, and you haven't been getting along well lately, or in general, then wishing them a happy birthday might be too stressful for her/him to deal with emotionally. But it's okay. They can simply wish you a happy birthday another time without any emotional pressure on themselves. 

You finally decided to do it. After weeks of not talking to your ex, you sat down, took a deep breath, and let out that text. You were officially trying to rekindle your relationship...or at least get your ex's attention. But why aren't they responding? Why has there been no response from your ex? You sent that text message out into the world and now you're sitting here wondering what the heck is happening.

There is a number of reasons why your ex doesn’t respond to your happy birthday text. The reasons why this could be is because there was anger or resentment in the relationship, or that the two of you were moving in different directions and growing apart. OR your ex might still have some feelings left for you and simply did not have the guts to admit it.

I find that a general rule of thumb is if you have to ask yourself “should I text my ex” the answer is a no. Realize that when you contact them, you are not in control. You have given them control to say yes or no and if you were in control would you want to talk to your ex? If the answer is yes then by all means contact them however, don’t beat yourself up if they do not respond in the way you want them.

Why Your Ex Hasn’t Responded To Your Birthday Wish?

Your ex ignoring you is a normal reaction for someone who still has unresolved feelings of anger and resentment towards you. This post will reveal the reasons why your ex didn’t respond to your happy birthday text.

Your Ex Is Not At All Ready For A Reconciliation

Birthday messages are a form of communication just like any other, and when they are sent to a woman or man after a breakup it is done with the goal of sparking friendship or love (i.e. to get back together). If the person believes that you’re not sure about what you want, or they think that you are not all there for them at the moment and therefore, they do not want to make things complicated for both of you.

This is a normal reaction, because in almost any romantic relationship there comes a time when one person does something wrong and hurts the other, often very badly. In fact, anyone who has ever been involved with someone knows that this is how love works. It's not easy to have a romantic relationship.

A common reason texts go unanswered is that the person on the other end doesn’t know how to respond without leading the conversation back toward a reconciliation.

Pro Tip: If you break up with someone and try to get back together with them, then there's a chance they'll see this as an act of escapism. This is a red flag that indicates that you're running away from life circumstances rather than working through them. It's no good to pursue a second chance if this was made clear.

Your Ex Is Testing You

Happy birthday text as a test. It’s one of the rare moments when you can see if there is still love there, or if your ex has moved on fully and truly. This is a sign that your ex has moved on but is still keeping tabs on you. 

As time has gone by, your ex has gotten used to not being around you. So having you pop up unexpectedly is not only a surprise, but it's also something that makes their heart skip a beat.

Your ex didn't respond to your happy birthday text- don't get scared. It's not that she/he doesn't like you. Even though your ex may have ignored your text, it’s important to remember that there are understandable reasons behind this.

Your ex not responding could be due to a lack of trust and commitment in your relationship. It's no secret that your ex may have doubts about whether or not you're committed to the idea of a long-term relationship, so when you go near them after already dumping them, this may actually just come to prove that idea, causing them to then become more distant.

And when this is the case, it’s possible that your ex will see that as a red flag and will hesitate before becoming too involved with you again.

Your Ex Is In A Dilemma

You may have sent a birthday text to someone you used to date and not received a response. Just because you sent a happy birthday text to your ex doesn’t mean he/she has to respond. He/she might still be interested but would rather keep things casual and doesn’t want to get in touch with you as much as he/she once did.

Maybe your ex is really still interested. However, if the relationship ended badly, an ex might feel the need to disassociate himself/herself from you even at his/her own expense.

They might still think you are awesome, but they might not feel like putting in a lot of effort to be with you anymore if it no longer brings them pleasure.

His/Her Relationship Status Has Changed

His/her current relationship status has changed and he/she is not single anymore. This means that his/her life is clearly going in one direction—forward—and he/she doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea about where you two stand now.

They are clearly happy in their new relationship and do not want to jeopardize it by making you feel they are giving your past relationship any attention.

Even after a relationship ends, it can be hard to let go. You may think you just want to keep in touch as friends, but they probably know you better than that, and they are smart enough (maybe even considerate enough) not to fall for it. They know you’re trying to prolong a past relationship that is no longer there.

Happy In Their Own World

You may be feeling slightly hurt and disappointed because your ex didn’t reply to your happy birthday text. Maybe her/his mood was so good. that, she/he probably didn’t want to spoil it by thinking about the past or worrying about the future. 

Happiness is simply the best state of being. It is actually a wonderful feeling that we all deserve to feel.

Your ex’s silence means she/he is happy to be free from you. There's sincere relief that you're no longer a part of her/his life. Her/his mood would have been spoiled by having to talk to you after all these years. She/he was probably grateful and relieved that s/he needn't be reminded of old times or ask about the new ones, and could keep s/her spirits up for another year.

Your Wish Was Lost In The Sea Of Birthday Wishes

When you get a bunch of birthday wishes on Facebook, it can sometimes be hard to know which friend to respond to first. It’s hard to reply or to keep track of every single birthday wish. No reason to get upset when your ex doesn’t respond.

Maybe, your ex has a limited amount of time (a few seconds) prefers giving priority to the people who usually care about you and are more supportive and close to you rather than people who you've been aloof to for years.

Moreover, you shouldn't make a big deal out of such small things. It's not like your ex owes you a reply and you're getting all upset that he/she didn't reply to your sweet text.

Now, you know 5 reasons why your ex hasn’t replied to your birthday wish for her/him. Does that mean you should stop texting them? Can you do it, or should you avoid the situation altogether?

Sending a former romantic partner any kind of birthday message is a tricky proposition. A friend who recently went through a breakup was uncertain about whether or not to text his ex.

If you’re wondering whether it’s okay to wish your ex happy birthday, here are some guidelines that may help you decide:

Ex Who Deserves A Birthday Wish

  1. You broke up in an amicable way and you both moved on, so it doesn’t make sense that sending a happy birthday text to your ex is considered inappropriate. Definitely send the best wishes if you want her to know that you are doing ok and in a good place. 
  1. The purpose of wishing someone a happy birthday is to show that you care about them, and if you've already established that you care about your ex, then there's no reason not to express this in an effective and appropriate way.

There’s no real harm in sending your ex a quick text to let them know you hope they have a happy birthday. True, they might ignore it or respond coldly, but you never know what could happen if you keep communication open.

  1. What should you do if your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend is having a birthday and you don’t know whether it’s appropriate to wish them a happy birthday? There are some who would advise that you don’t text this person at all because of the risk of making things worse between the two of you. But the more reasonable view says that if there are no secrets or other complications, a simple ‘happy birthday’ causes no harm.

The present time is always a good time to be nice to people. As long as you aren't trying to get something beyond a simple expression of goodwill.

Ex Who Don’t Deserve A Birthday Wish

Spoiler: When it comes to guarding your heart, do your ex a favor and don't text. However tempting it is to text your 'happy birthday' message, you're better off saying nothing. It's futile, but it's worth attempting to get over someone by not contacting them.

  1. It's been months or years since you broke up, so it's not like your ex will just pick up from where the relationship left off. Also, if you were in a toxic and negative relationship, you don't need to be reminded of that fact by exchanging text messages with someone who has caused you such hurt.

To be honest with you I think this is a bad idea. I don't think there is any reason to re-open communication with your ex.

  1. It is never a good idea to send an ex a happy birthday text. It is difficult to know where to draw the line between being friendly and saying too much but you must remember that you no longer have a relationship with this person. There will be feelings attached, but they should not be shared with your ex. Be comfortable not being in constant contact because happy birthdays will not make or break the relationship.
  1. Maybe you are finding it difficult to move on because of the breakup and you think a text might be okay. Or perhaps at some stage of your relationship, you would have liked one. Or maybe you just want to salvage a friendship with the person. Whatever you are thinking will only upset and confuse them. They may even think you are going back to them or making a plea for attention.


Texting an ex-lover 'happy birthday' can make your heart flutter. After all, it could be the beginning of a reconciliation. But before you hit 'send,' ask yourself: do you really want to text that message? What do you hope to gain from it?

It is, of course, a risky game. You could be opening up old wounds and reigniting the flame of passion. On the other hand, you could be drawing attention to your ex's latest partner and reminding them exactly what they're missing out on.


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