The Female Mind Control Handbook
We are all living in the age of notification. Practically, our world revolves around social media - likes, comments, shares, stories, etc. so it’s hard actually very hard to stay away from our constantly buzzing phones unless you do it consciously.
So when you intentionally ignore someone’s message and do not reply, it can create a lot of misunderstandings between two people. Especially, we are living in times like where we judge people without a thought, we put them into categories without even knowing them, we form our own imagination and assumption and never even try to look beyond ourselves. I guess that’s the starting point of confusion, misinterpretations, and conflicts.
Well, at the same time we must agree, that our lives have become super busy. We are just struggling with too many things at one time. And sometimes it gets difficult to cope up with real life and social media life.
When you don’t get a reply from your friend or just an acquaintance, it does not make a hell of a difference. But when the situation involves someone special, things can get really tricky.
So what does it mean when he is on social media but not texting you back? It can mean many things. He was watching an important video. He was talking to his friends. He simply forgot to check the message. Or he is intentionally ignoring you to gain attention. He wants to get rid of you.
You never know the real reason until you put a little thought into it. You start connecting many dots in your head without knowing the actual reason. Before I dig deeper behind the reasons, I would answer the most common question I get and that is “Is it a bad sign?”
To be honest, it totally depends on the kind of relationship you share with that person.
- If you two have started dating just a few days back, then you should not be setting too many high expectations from the guy. During the initial days, he might take some time to reply back. And this can be intentional too. Probably, he just doesn’t want to come across as a desperate guy. Many times girls misinterpret guys when they reply too quickly. They feel the guys are being too clingy. Just because of this reason, guys often delay their texts but they stay active on social media. I would say, this is not a bad sign. The guy is just taking his sweet little time and measuring where the relationship is heading towards.
- If you have been dating the guy for a few months and you have noticed that he often does this, then it can be a bad sign. When a guy has been dating you for a few months, he must be invested in you a little bit. But all of a sudden, when he behaves like this and that too repeatedly, then you need to worry. He might have lost interest in you or maybe he is finding that he has too many differences with you. This is his subtle way of ignoring you so that slowly you only move away from him. Certainly, this is a bad sign.
- Has your boyfriend just moved out of a relationship and started dating you? If that’s the case, oftentimes guys make decisions hastily. They move on from their past relationship and jump into a new one immediately. But soon they start missing their ex or they realize they actually never moved on from that. Most likely they will spend a lot of time stalking their Ex on social media. Hence they will not text you back as they are busy spending time on their old lover than on you. It’s a definite sign for you to understand that he is not that into you after all.
- If you and your boyfriend have fought and are not talking to each other, then he will not text you back out of ego or anger, or pain. Couples do fight a lot with each other and then they indulge in some stupid things like not talking. If you have hurt your boyfriend and then after a while texted him to apologize or initiate a conversation once again, then he will not reply to you intentionally. He wants you to understand that he is hurt. So, he will out of choice be active on social media but not text you back. So this is not a bad sign rather a silly sign. You should try to make up for your mistake as soon as possible.
- Once again, if you two have been in a relationship for a long time like more than 3 or even 5 years, you should not even create a huge issue for such a trivial thing. Couples after staying together for long often become so comfortable with each other, that they prefer to do away with such kinds of formalities. For them, it’s really not a matter. Your guy will text you back but after some time. He knows that you won’t mind waiting for a little because you two have reached that comfort stage. So this is surely not a bad sign. Rather it means that you two are in a happy and peaceful phase and there is enough trust between you two.
- But there is a different aspect of this story too. Couples often start taking each other for granted after being for long together. So if you notice that your partner often does not text you back but is constantly putting stories on Instagram, you should question him. Guys sometimes just totally forget that they need to text back their girlfriends. They feel it’s okay to keep a girl waiting. You can wait for an hour. However even after that if he does not reply to you and you see him active on social media, something is not right. If he was genuinely busy with other work, he won’t be active on social media. But in this case, he is simply neglecting you and not paying attention to you or on the relationship.
- It can be an extremely bad sign if your boyfriend repeatedly neglects your texts or intentionally reply you late. Your guy maybe is busy chatting with other girls on other social media platforms. Also, if you have found any other suspicious signs like hiding his phone when you’re there, always avoiding your call, making up lame excuses not to meet you- something fishy must be going on. If your guy is hitting on other girls, then he would spend more time on social media than talking to you. So be aware of such signs.
- He is your crush but he is not aware of your feelings. This is indeed a complex situation. You two are on talking terms, you might be even of the same friends’ circle. So chances are you hang out together, you follow each other and talk a considerable amount with each other. You have developed feelings for him, but he has no clue about this. In a case like this, he can take some time to text you back. For him, you’re just a friend and nothing else. So he prioritizes replying to others or even engaging on social media, than texting you back immediately. This is not a bad sign totally since he is not aware of what you feel. But after knowing your feelings if he does this consciously, then he is saying to you indirectly that he doesn’t like you in any other way.
Now that you have a pretty fair idea whether it’s a bad sign when He is on social media but not texting you back. Let me share the possible reasons for not texting you back. I must admit that a general trait of guys is that they are a bit careless. Often they do some things out of their whim and that memory is completely erased from their mind. Girls, I understand. This can get really annoying over a point of time. Every single has seen this in some way or another.
That’s why it’s necessary to try to understand the reasons of the boys too.
Let’s look at the probable reason now and find out what’s going on in the guy’s mind.
- He has forgotten to leave the Instagram or FB page
Don’t be surprised. Guys are quite oblivious in nature. Your boyfriend was checking his social media, and he forgot to leave the page. Perhaps he received a call or somebody came to his door. And he did not even look at his phone. Hence, he got late texting you back but he was still seen active on social media. This is a very common scenario.
One of my friends, Rachel faced the same issue while she was dating Kevin. Kevin had this annoying habit of leaving his phone in the middle and not checking it for a long time. Obviously, Rachel got irritated. She did not say anything initially but slowly the communication gap started creating conflicts between the two.
However, while both of them went on a weekend trip together Rachel noticed that Kevin did this unintentionally. He never thought about it and it was just a silly mistake on his part. Rachel cleared it out with Kevin and both of them realized how a simple issue can turn out to be a monstrous one.
- He is attending a live event on Social Media
Can we ignore the innumerable virtual events that take place all the time especially in times like this? We can’t. So your Bae might attend just a live music event on Instagram and thought he would text you back later. He will surely respond to your text once the event is over and even tell you the reason for being so late.
- He is stalking his Ex
You can’t nullify this reason completely. If your boyfriend has been aloof from you and not spending enough time, there may be chances that he is missing his ex. And in today’s world, it’s not difficult to get some life updates about your ex when you have social media. Probably, he is going through the feed of his ex, looking at her posts, reading the comments, etc and it totally slipped his mind to text you back.
- He is busy talking to a new girl
If you two have met each other on a dating app, then you can’t expect your guy to text you back within seconds. When you start talking to a guy through a dating app and haven’t even met him yet, he will explore other girls as well. You’re not the only one he is talking to. He is also networking with other girls and that’s why taking time to text you back.
- He is avoiding you
Not all the guys have the guts to confess their feelings honestly. Many guys adopt this strategy when they want to avoid a girl. If the girl is texting him too much, and he has no interest in that girl whatsoever, he will ignore you by not texting you back. I must say, this is not a very polite way. He can just say upfront without hurting you rather than keep giving you false hope.
- He wants you to feel jealous
Well, this is an old trick for seeking attention. If you two are in a relationship and you’ve hurt him by any means like you have talked to your ex, or you went out partying with other guys without telling or including him, he will get a bit upset. At such a time, you would certainly try your best to explain your situation and text him. But he will choose not to reply to you. He will purposefully be active on social media just to make you feel jealous.
- He wants to end the relationship
This is certainly the most painful reason. If you two have been fighting a lot and facing a lot of ups and downs in your relationship, then you two are not definitely in sync with each other. Perhaps, your guy has tried a few times and now he has also lost all kinds of hope. There is no reason left to mend the relationship and give it a chance once again. That’s why he chose this method. He would slowly take a leave from your life. First, he will stop meeting you or even picking up your call. Then, he will deliberately reply to you late and show you that he is active on social media. And finally, there will be a time, when you will realize that the relationship has hit a dead end.
- Your Bae is a social media manager
Certain jobs come with extra responsibilities. If your Bae is a social media manager, he is always on social media for obvious reasons. Social media managers are literally on their phones managing various pages 24*7. And as a girlfriend or partner, it’s your duty to understand and empathize with his situation. So if he texts you back late, you must cut him some slack. He is not doing it wilfully. He is just bound by his job responsibilities which he has to fulfill.
There may be thousands of reasons and there will be many signs too. Some signs will give you an answer straightaway while for some you would need to understand from their perspective.
Whatever it is, never form a judgment based on an assumption. It’s always best to have an open conversation with your partner when you see such things in your life.
Let social media just be part of your life and not your whole life, you will find a perfect balance in your real life and relationship too.