Memories, the good, and the bad will always influence our minds, the good ones make us happy whereas the bad ones define us as a person who overcame that adversity.
These memories also have a way to bring up nostalgic moments you shared with a loved one, the joy of finding love, and the sadness of going your separate ways, your memories hold them all.
So when ‘he’ randomly texts you after months, the rush of those nostalgic memories, beg you to ask the question, ‘Why does he randomly texts me after months?
The reason he randomly texted you after months is that he felt an absence of your presence in his life. The reason for feeling this way can be many, absence in his romantic life or absence of his lost friend or absence of the great sex life he used to enjoy. The reasons can be many and you get to decide if you are comfortable with it.
Sincerity, of his actions, is the biggest question that emerges when you get that first text after months. What is his intention? If the text was due to a massive change in your life, the text may mean nothing more than a courtesy text to know if you are okay. Other times it can be due to him missing you, or various other reasons that we explore to understand the Why? He randomly texts you after months.
The Reasons For Randomly Texting You
The reasons for randomly texting you can be from a general whim to a serious consideration of asking you out. The point is you cannot gleam the reason out of a “Hi’. You may need to explore further if you are interested in knowing how he feels or what the text was all about.
So let’s go ahead with the reasons, you possibly received that text.
He Misses You
The most obvious of all reasons is, he misses you, the moments you shared remain important to him. Whatever the reason for the break-up, if he has gone ahead and texted you, he is looking past that and hoping for the miracle that you miss him too.
Now all that said, genuinely missing a person is hard. If he is texting you with the hope of reconciliation, then you must make sure that it’s real before moving forward with any other thought.
He Wants Sex
The worst of reasons to text your ex, but something that has a good chance of happening. When guys want sex and do not want to put effort to find someone, they feel seducing someone they were with is much easier.
It’s hard to gauge intent just via text. The decision lies with you, if you want to text back make sure to know where this is going. If the desire is mutual go ahead, but under no circumstances should you start to imagine something more from this.
Meeting up for that last hookup can be very tricky to handle, my advice would be to ignore and find someone else without all the drama hanging over you.
He Was Reminded Of You
Going through the chapters of his life, there are things in his day-to-day life that reminded him of you. When you break up for reasons you find silly now, you can not help but imagine if things could have gone differently.
When a guy comes across such a situation he will want to text you to check if, by any way, the two of you can start talking again.
If you have put in the effort needed to maintain a good relationship, he is bound to miss the support when he is in a similar situation or going through a fallout.
A guy will surely text you when he finds out that his life was way better with you than without.
He Is In Rebound
There are times, especially in a long-term relationship where the guy broke things off to go be with someone else. Whatever the reason was, that relationship did not work out and he now wants you back, and so you receive the text.
Remember this is not an honest reflection, this is just a rebound that is bound to get ugly given time.
Guys should not go back to their previous relationships and neither should girls entertain that, you see when you are in a rebound, the guy imagines all the good in the past relationship but completely ignores the reason for its failure.
You do not owe anything to a person, who has not changed for the better, left you without clarity, and is willing to come back only because the other relationship did not work out.
He Wants To Reconcile
This does not happen very often, I mean sure guys tell they want to reconcile, but very few are willing to put in the work to reconcile.
It takes hard work to work on the issues from your past relationship. But if he has texted you, there is a possibility that the guy has put in work to be the guy you can respect and hopefully love again.
If there is such a scenario and he has worked on his issues, you may want to initiate contact if you so desire. A guy who has put in the effort to be a better person does deserve a chance, and it does not hurt to listen.
These are a few reasons why he randomly texted after months. To think of further action on it depends on how you want to approach the text as well as your experience from the time you were with him in the past relationship.
Things You Can Do After He Texts You After Months
Once you have a general feel for the reason he has texted, it’s your decision on how to move forward. The following things can be considered by you while deciding on how to respond to his texts.
Be Sure Of The Cause
He has texted you after months, and so before you have your hopes up, and jump into normalizing texts wishing for a happy-ever-after, you need to know that his reasons for texting you are genuine.
The way forward should be with patience, be objective at first, the guy who wants you back should realize that things will not be normal without him showing the effort to win you back.
Be Sure Of Where You Stand
What are your expectations from him, if you decide to maintain contact should be clear. What he means to you in the present is very important.
If you want to be in contact the first thing you need to sort out is the boundaries. Define what do you want out of this next, is it a hook-up? Are you expecting a relationship? Just friends?
You need to decide what it is that you want or don’t want to be sure that there are no regrets at a later date if things do not work out again.
Get To Know Him Again
In the months that you were not together, he has changed too. If the breakup was mutual, then him texting back must mean he now believes that he can make it work. Ask him how?
Getting to know the guy all over again serves two purposes. Firstly, once you get to know the new him, you can decide if this is something worth investing your time in. Secondly, it’s exciting to get to know a person all over again.
If he has made the changes to give himself a shot in your life, getting to know him again will show you his seriousness and willingness to win you back.
Get A Feel For His Intention
The kind of texts you receive is very important to judge his intention. It is important to check the tone of the text. A guy can text you to rekindle the relationship or trying to catch up with an old friend or if it is a favor he wants.
The tone of his texts should give you the answer. If he wants to get back to you, his texts will either be remorseful for the hurt he caused or flirty to see if a spark can be rekindled.
A casual or formal tone suggests he may have no romantic intentions and just wants to get back the friendship he lost.
Once you get the feel for his intention, you can go ahead and decide if that is something you are willing to go along and continue being in contact with.
Be Confident And Mature
If you decide to stay in touch with him then you need to be confident and not be undermined. You should make your own decisions and be careful of the warning signs that appear early but are ignored.
Maturity is when you allow yourself to accept that the guy has changed for the better. When he is back in your life, the doubts and past misunderstandings can come back, it is important for you to not let such thoughts affect your current relationship with him.
So if the guy has changed for the better then it is on you to accept them and not be doubtful and walled in thinking of all the past mistakes that ruined the relationship.
Do Not Rush Things
The confident you may feel that everything is on track, but it has been only a few days since you started texting him back. Do not be too quick to decide, take your time while you get to know the new him.
The most common mistake that you can make is to believe he is the same guy you left. No, he may be better or worse but under no circumstances will he be the same.
Therefore you need time to understand and experience the new him and decide for yourself if going back to him is the right choice.
Keep Things Private
Everything is great and your communication with him is all smooth sailing, this may prompt you to involve others in how great things are for you. This is a mistake, keeping your personal life in the wraps is there for a reason.
Once things get public, the expectations pile up, you would not want to put that kind of pressure on yourselves right off the bat.
Remember your friends and family know him to be the guy who hurt you. So unless you are rock solid about your decision and things seem to go on the right track, keep it private.
Do Not Expect
Communicating with him may be exciting but never get your hopes up too fast. Take your time to allow him to express himself, and then decide. Expectations come hand in hand with a relationship, but to expect things to go smooth or things to fall apart is not something you should think of.
Expectations from communicating with him will put undue pressure on a budding relationship. The most important reason to not expect is that when not lived up to your expectations the disappointment the second time hits much harder.
So, do not expect good or bad things, enjoy the conversation to your best, and enjoy the flow.
In the end, him randomly texting you will bring out two important emotions, the memory of all the regrets you had and/or the happiness of him taking the initiative to text you. To be honest it’s exciting as you do not know where this will lead.
My sincere advice is to not think too much out of it, if the guy is worth your time, go ahead and explore.
If you follow and get insight from the Do’s and Don’ts written above you will be able to make sense of him randomly texting you after months. So pace yourself, and step in to take that second chance if that is what you wish for.