Should I Ask My Ex If She's Seeing Someone (& Best Ways To Ask)?

Yes, there's nothing wrong with asking your ex if she's seeing someone. You can ask her directly, engage her in a conversation, and casually ask if she's currently seeing someone. If you're being too hesitant to ask her something like that, you can ask a mutual friend about it too. 
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It has been quite some time since you both broke up. Yet, you haven't been able to push your ex out of your mind. You are thinking if she is in a similar state. Is she thinking about you as well? Is it possible to reconcile and start afresh with her? Or has she moved on? What if she is already seeing someone? Should you ask her about it? 

Asking your ex if she is seeing someone can get quite awkward. She might take offense at being enquired about her private life. But she may also open up, and that, in turn, may help you decide on things. So, how to approach the topic? If you are already on talking terms with her, ask her directly if she is still single. Sometimes, noticing her attitude towards you - like ignoring your attempts to contact her and suddenly being indifferent to you, can also indicate that she is dating someone new. 

Always remember that action speaks much more than words. So, learn to observe. Your ex's approaches, lifestyle, behavior, social media posts will tell you whether she's seeing someone or not. Then you can decide your next step. 

I know that breakups are never easy. Irrespective of the circumstances, the habits, and the shared memories keep coming back to fill our hearts and minds with their thoughts. So, it is pretty normal to think about getting back together. But does she want the same? If she doesn't, will your efforts push her even farther? 

In this blog, I will answer all these doubts you face when you start thinking about whether you should ask your ex if she's seeing someone or not. So, stick to this page and read the entire blog thoroughly without missing any possible vital points. So, let's get started. 

Is It A Good Idea To Ask Your Ex About Her Personal Life?

The current emotional phase, which you're now dealing with, comes with hundreds of dilemmas. The initial one is whether you should ask your ex about her personal life or not. As you people had broken up, I understand that you no longer consider yourself a part of her life, and it's true as well.

But still, always remember that as her ex, you have significant value in her life even till now. So, what other random people can't do, you can. 

But it depends on what led to your breakup and how comfortable you both are with each other at this point. Was it just a little misunderstanding or fight? Did things get boring, and there was no spark left? Or was it something much worse, like manipulation, cheating, or abuse? 

If the reasons are innocent enough to be forgiven and left behind (by both parties), reconciliation can be positive. However, if there was cheating or any sort of abuse involved, it is best for both to go your separate ways. Now, say things weren't that bad, and it is possible to forgive and get back together in your case. Then what next? 

It then depends on whether she still has feelings for you. If she has gotten over you and moved on, there is no point in chasing her. If you think that she still likes you, then yes! Ask her about it. If she says that she has moved on, at least you will finally have the confidence to move forward. If not, you may try to win her back. 

Best Ways To Ask Your Ex If She's Seeing Someone

Maybe you have already decided to ask her if she's seeing someone. Now the primary confusion that hits your mind is 'HOW.' How can you ask if she's currently seeing someone?

In fact, you want to know the best ways to understand whether she's currently seeing someone or not. If you decide to know what's up with her and whether she's seeing someone new, here are the best ways to do the same. Don't worry; if you're hesitant, shy, or self-centered to ask her directly, I'm going to specify a few ways for you.

Call/Text Her 

If you both are on talking terms and she hasn't blocked you everywhere, the best way to ask her about it is to call or text her. Call her when you know she may be free and in a good mood. 

If you want her to open up to you and be honest, you need to do the same. Be honest and show your genuine emotions, maybe even your vulnerable self. Ask her if she's doing well and how things are going. Ask if she is still single or has moved on. And if she is single, is she willing to give you and the relationship another chance. 

If she is not comfortable talking about her relationship status or personal life, do not force her. Even if she is single, respect her choice if she doesn't want to go out with you. Forcing her, getting angry with her, or trying to guilt-trip her will make her push you away, and she may cut all remaining ties with you. 

Be Witty 

Maybe asking her directly is too awkward for you, or you think it would make you look desperate. Well, in that case, take the longer route. Ask her about her life, ask how things have been. And in between that, slide your question

"So, are you seeing someone?" 

"... is your new partner treating you well? 

"So, are you going out with anyone?" 

Be casual about it, and do not show nervousness if you don't want her to know about your feelings. If she lets you know about her status, great. If she seems indifferent or annoyed and asks why you are interested in that, laughs it off. Say you were just curious about it. However, if she asks why you want to know about it and sounds hopeful, maybe she wants you back as well. 

Ask A Mutual Friend 

Now, if she has blocked you on social media and messaging apps and is not picking your calls, contacting her directly is not going to help. Instead, ask a mutual friend about her. 

If there's this one mutual friend who is close to her but closer to you, ask them. They are less likely to snitch on you and more likely to share the truth. If they say, she has moved on and is dating someone else, be respectful and let her be.

However, if they say that she misses you as much as you miss her, ask them to let her know your side. While your trying to contact her may piss her off, knowing your feelings from someone she trusts can help her soften to you. 

Check Her Social Media 

Today, social media is ruling our lives. What we eat, what we wear, where we shop, and whom we go out with, it has become customary to share everything online. If your ex is seeing someone, it seems likely that she is going to post a picture or at least something about it on her social media handle. 

You can check her SNS to get an idea of how she is handling her life right now. However, do not keep stalking her or trying to contact her desperately. 

Other Tell-Tale Signs

She has returned all your belongings and precious gifts that you may have given them in the past. Her keeping it all would have been a sign of still being in love with you. But if she chose to give everything back, she has no interest in continuing with you. 

Maybe you have heard your friends talking about her going out with other people and being very happy in her life. Perhaps you noticed that her behavior changed suddenly, and now, she doesn't want to have any contact with you. Such things can indicate that she has someone new in her life. 

What Should I Do Next? 

You have asked her, or a mutual friend, or used some other means to get the answer. Now, you know what is going on with her and if she is seeing someone. What should you do next?

In this phase, people often tend to make mistakes that eventually push their ex away from them. So, keep your mind calm, learn to think, and then decide.

Remember, your decision should depend on the situation that you're currently standing with your ex. Hopefully, the following points can help you with that. 

If She's Not Seeing Anyone And Seems To Reciprocate Your Feelings

She said she is not dating anyone currently. She seemed nervous and hopeful. It's looking like she misses you and wants to reconcile with you. Or maybe a trusted mutual friend told you about it. 

If she is not seeing anyone and seems to reciprocate your feelings, you are in a good place. If she is comfortable enough, ask her out. Otherwise, start with talking to her more often, making her feel understood, and try to resolve the issues you both had. Second chances are rare. Take things slowly, and let's not repeat the mistakes. 

If She's Not Seeing Anyone But Doesn't Want Me Back

It is possible that even though she is not dating anyone, she doesn't want you back. She may not even want to have anything to do with you. And it is okay. Breakups happen for a reason. 

Do not chase after her if she is very clear about her disinterest, indifference, and dislike towards you. You are only hurting yourself if you keep trying to get her back. Move on, and you will find the one perfect for you. 

If She's Seeing Someone 

Maybe you have found out that she is indeed seeing someone new. What should you do next? Well, now I would suggest you let her go and move on. If she is seeing someone else, trying to win her back or compelling her to come back to you is toxic and disrespectful towards her. The best thing you can do is to let her live her life and move on with yours. 

It may seem hard and sometimes even impossible, but it will soon be fine. Try hanging out with friends or going out with new people, do something you have always enjoyed doing (painting, playing instruments, practicing soccer), do things that make you feel happy. You will soon move on from her and move forward in your life. 

Sometimes, Moving On Is The Best Option

Sometimes, moving on is truly the best option. There was a reason why things didn't work out; there was a reason why you both broke up. Maybe it was her; she lied, changed, and didn't want to continue with you. Or perhaps it was you; you couldn't give your 100%, you took things for granted, you didn't appreciate her enough. 

And it is okay. Things happen. And they happen for a reason. It is for us to learn the lesson and integrate it into our lives. Asking someone to move on when they are going through a heartbreak may seem like an insensitive thing to do, and yet, at times, it is necessary. Life brings joys and sorrows, love and separation, losses and gain. It is all included in part and parcel of life. 

If you take a moment and just look around, you will see your life is still full of happiness! Please go out and catch up with your friends, talk to them, accept their invites to parties and get-togethers. Meet new people, make new friends, do things that make you happy. You can even satisfy the inner child in you by buying yourself a ticket to your favorite amusement park and reliving your childhood memories. 

As you start living again and start loving your life again, you will look back and see that you have already moved on! Things are taken away from us so that new and better things can enter our lives. It may not seem that way at the start, but more often than not, they are. You deserve all the good things you wish for. Just be open and let go of things that are not meant to be.

Things To Keep In Mind 

It is normal for people to feel low after a breakup. However, there are a few things that you should remind yourself of whenever negative thoughts come to you. 

  • It is okay. Life is unpredictable. Things happen. But if there is sadness, life is also filled with brilliant moments of happiness and bliss. Don't let yourself lose hope. Keep going forward. 
  • You deserve love. Just because a relationship didn't work out, it doesn't mean that you don't deserve love. You are lovable. 
  • You cannot force your partner/ex or invade their privacy. They can do whatever they want in their lives. Forcing them is disrespectful and doesn't help your case. 
  • Ask for help. If it is getting too hard for you to cope up with things, ask for help. Talk to your close friends, family members, or visit a professional. It is okay to do so. 
  • Give yourself some time, and do not depend on alcohol or drugs. Time is the best healer. Give yourself time, keep yourself busy with things you like doing and stay away from addictive substances. Things will get better. 

I hope this blog provided you with the answers you were looking for. If you want to ask your ex whether she is seeing someone, it is okay. If you feel comfortable, go ahead and ask her. If you can't, talk to a mutual friend and ask them to give you a clear picture. If she is single and wants to get back together, allow things to proceed naturally. Otherwise, move on with your life. And always remember, you deserve love and happiness. 


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