We all have heard “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”. And I’m sure, when a guy does not get the girl he wants, he thinks the same thing. The guys feel confused, irritated, hurt when the girl of their dream says- “ I am not ready for a relationship now”.
They are unsure. They are unable to make out why the girl is rejecting him now. So, let me tell you. Not everyone is ready for a relationship. It varies from person to person. And when it comes to a girl, she has various reasons and logic.
Guys often assume that he is friends with a girl, there is a possibility of a romantic relationship between the two. They never consider the girl’s feelings in the beginning and start building their own imaginary bubble.
But the bubble breaks into thousand pieces when they hear the dreaded thing that She does not want a relationship right now. You start wondering and your heart does not have any definite reason for that.
So, what does it mean when a girl says she doesn’t want a relationship right now? She is not attracted to you physically and mentally. She does not want the complications or responsibilities of a relationship right now. She is still recovering from her past. She is only looking for a casual relationship. She sees no future with you.
You can never understand the actual reason until you put yourself in her shoes. Based on the rejections, many guys make their own assumptions. Today, we will dig deep into the reasons and know what does a girl means when she says she is not ready for a relationship right now.
Reasons She Does Not Want A Relationship Right Away
There are many reasons when a girl says “No” to you. But it’s unfair to misunderstand her based on your assumptions. Let’s see the reasons now.
- She is enjoying her singlehood
Did it take you by surprise? Well, just as guys love being single, explore the world, girls do too. So, when the girl you like, says- “ I don’t want a relationship right now”, she is probably meaning, that she is enjoying her singlehood. She loves spending time on her own, she has her own hobbies which keep her occupied and at this stage, she only wants to explore new things, try new experiences and ideas. Hence, she is not ready right now.
That certainly doesn’t mean, that she hates the idea of a relationship totally. But at this moment, she wants to focus on herself personally and professionally. And she does not have any other kind of commitment or distractions in her life.
- She isn’t attracted to you
Yes, when a girl is not attracted to you, she might not agree to be in a relationship with you right now. It’s not only physical attraction but mental attraction too. Probably she finds you handsome but you are not compatible with her. Or you two have similar tastes, your likes and dislikes match, but she does not feel physically attached to you.
She knows even if she agrees to be in a relationship with you, she won’t be comfortable physically with you. Hence she is not thinking about going into a relationship right now.
- She has family issues
Often girls stay away from relationships if they have seen troublesome relationships at home. When they witness the problems their parents suffer due to commitment issues, trust issues, responsibilities, they make up a negative side of a relationship. She feels a relationship has only downsides and she fears being in a relationship that can hurt her eventually.
Keep in mind, she is forming all her assumptions based on what she has seen in the family. So, it becomes difficult for her to start a relationship. That’s why she says No.
- She had a bad past
A girl can say that she does not want a relationship right now when she has had a painful past. Even if she has moved on, she is still afraid. She does not want to go through the entire process of the relationship and get hurt eventually. Her past experiences still haunt her. Maybe she was cheated, or her boyfriend was toxic or abusive. Thinking about all those bitter memories, she chooses to stay away from a relationship.
She will even reject the best guy because she still has not recovered from the pain of her past and this time she doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes.
- She is too busy with life
Since relationships need a lot of effort and time, many girls prefer not to jump into a relationship right away especially when she is at the peak of her career. She might be busy with other plans too like taking care of her family, building up her career, studies. Perhaps she is building up her own business and all her time and attention is only devoted to that.
She does not hate the idea of a relationship but at this moment she is too occupied to divide her attention to anything else. She would rather be alone than being in a relationship half-heartedly.
- She just wants a fling
It may sound harsh to many guys, but you have to accept the truth. Your girl is certainly not looking for a relationship right now. She wants a casual fling where she can have fun, go on a few dates, spend some time with you. She has no future plans with you.
She would be totally candid about her choice. She does not want to false promise that she wants a relationship. Rather she would be honest and tell the guy she only wants a fling.
- She wants to take more time
A guy might wonder “Why she is not ready to be in a relationship with me when we’ve been friends for so long”? Well, to break your bubble, your girl has never considered anything more than a friend. Maybe you two have great chemistry, you know each others’ deepest, darkest secrets, you’re very comfortable with each other, yet she never attached any romantic angle to this friendship.
At this stage, she wants to take some time. She wants to reflect on the friendship and evaluate whether she really wants to be in a relationship with her friend now. And she definitely does not want to bring any kind of awkwardness into the friendship. She is just taking her sweet little time.
- She sees no future with you
A girl can choose not to be in a relationship right now when she sees no potential future with a guy. She only wants a serious, committed relationship. However, even after spending some days with you, knowing you, she is not sure about you. Maybe she is looking for something solid in her relationship which the guy lacks.
That’s why she does not dive into a relationship. It’s not a casual thing for her. If she sees no future with you, she would not invest her emotion, time, energy into a relationship.
Now that you have seen the various scenarios, you know what a girl actually means when she says she does not a relationship right now. But how to know that? Well, I have got your back once again.
Some Signs That Would Show You That Your Girl Is Not Looking For A Relationship Right Now
These signs will help you to clearly understand what does the girl really wants. Let’s have a look.
#1 She Always Says “No” To A Plan
When you’ve been making a lot of plans to take out your girl, go on a date and have some fun, and she says a “No” every time, you need to worry. It can happen once or twice, but every time she can’t be tied up with some other work. It’s a clear sign that she does not want a relationship as of now.
#2 She Never Calls Or Texts You
Are you always the one who sends her a text or is eager to speak to her? Does she avoid picking up a call when you video call her? Then, she isn’t comfortable with you and she really does not think about you. You’re not yet a significant person in her life hence she never takes the initiative of calling or texting you.
#3 She Talks About Other Men
This should be a clear sign for all the guys. Is your girl talking about other boys or men? If she is sharing with you the guy she is having a crush on, then certainly she doesn’t want a relationship with you. If she was genuinely interested in you, she would not have talked about other boys in front of you.
#4 She Isn’t Paying Attention
Little things matter the most when it comes to a relationship. When you notice she never pays attention to whatever you say, or she forgets about your favorite food, things that you like, the Netflix that you’re obsessed with, it shows she lacks interest in you and not paying attention to you at all.
#5 She Avoids Physical Touch
Even after being friends for long, even after confessing your feelings to her, if you see that she hesitates to even hug you, you must accept it as a sign. If she was comfortable with you, or if she would have seen any possibilities of a relationship with you in the future, she would never hesitate to hug or hold your hand.
Here’s What To Do When A Girl Says She Doesn’t Want A Relationship Right Now
When she has clearly said to you about her choice, you must be feeling hopeless, and heartbroken, at the same time you are confused and don’t know what to do, you might make some bad moves. But be aware. Instead, do the following things which would keep you on the right path.
- You wait for her. If you have seen her being comfortable with you, talking to you willingly, there may be some chances of her being with you. She is just not ready right now. In the future, she can change her mind.
- You confess your feelings truly even more. You need to make sure that your girl understands, that you genuinely want a serious relationship. When she would see your serious, committed nature, she would give a second thought to her decision.
- Show her that you care for her. Even after getting the rejection, don’t forget to show her that you truly care for her and think about her. Wish her on her birthday, send her favorite chocolates, help her at work. She would notice your genuine efforts.
- Give her time. If you two have been friends, she might have said “No” to this relationship, to not bring any kind of awkwardness. In that case, you give her time. Tell her that you’re still her friend. And never let any kind of discomfort between you two.
- Help her get over her bitter past. She said No to you because she is afraid. You must assure her that nothing like her past would be repeated again. Be honest with her. Spend quality time with her and slowly try to remove her bad memories.
- Tell her, you would divide the responsibility. If your girl is not ready for a relationship because of responsibilities, then you must tell her not to worry. Show her that you will stand beside her no matter what and always share the work together.
But Sometimes Guys Do Not Give Due Importance To A Girl’s Decision. Hence I Also Have A Checklist Of Things That You Should Not Be Doing
Just like there are some things which you can do to measure your chances, there are some things you should refrain from doing totally. Remember, one bad step and you are out of the game.
- Don’t overdo anything. If she says she isn’t ready now, don’t bombard her with 1000 emotional messages. O don’t show up at her door all of a sudden to express your true love.
- Never be cringy. Girls hate cringy boys. So if you try to be too cringy with her, you would ruin all your future chances.
- Don’t spread a rumor about her. Many times guys can’t take rejection and spread false rumors about the girl in their university or at their workplace. This is extremely disrespectful and unethical.
- Never disturb her or force her. You must never force her to be in a relationship with you. It’s her choice. You must respect that. You can’t ever have a fruitful relationship forcefully. Also, if you feel disturbing her would help you to vent your anger out, then you’re completely wrong. She would start growing a negative attitude towards you even more.
What Are My Chances When A Girl Says She Doesn’t Want A Relationship Right Now?
Well, chances will surely depend upon person to person. But if you show her that your feelings are true for her, then after some time, she can change her decision.
If sees that you straight away started flirting with other girls, she would never come back to you. So you must be careful about your behavior and actions. At the same time, be clear about your own feelings and emotions as well.
If you show her you care for her, you’re willing to wait for her, you respect her decision, you don’t force or impose anything upon her, then you have a lot of chances.
But if you take any wrong step like unnecessary texting or calling her, annoying her, commenting rude things on her social media, gossiping about her with other friends, you will have no chances ever.
Never lose your heart and hope. Love is a magical thing. And sometimes magic happens in the most unexpected way. So you never know what’s in store for you.
Believe in yourself and your true feelings. You will be reward with the greatest love of your life.