The human mind is a complex element to understand. Sometimes it acts exactly in the opposite direction that we want it to. The feelings related to love, relationships, and emotions work in more complicated manners within that complex chemistry of the human mind.
Due to this complicated emotional biology, we face many weird situations that bother us severely and even affect our day-to-day life. One such situation appears when a man can’t help thinking about a girl no matter how desperately he wants to.
The hormones that work inside our bodies mostly control all these emotional phenomena. Many external factors affect the hormones in certain ways that they program our mind to feel specifically about specific matters.
Leaving these all apart, now if you ask me what does it mean if you can’t stop thinking about a girl, I would say this phenomenon can indicate many possible tendencies inside your mind. Maybe you’re obsessed with that girl, or you’re insecure about her, or it can also mean that you’re suffering from ROCD or Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. But at the same time, you should never panic because it’s also possible that you got a temporary crush on her or maybe it’s just the joblessness of your mind.
Such situations arrive due to many external factors and you can easily overcome these by following a few simple rules only if your issue is not quite a severe one. In the due course of this article, you’ll get to know A-Z about this complex tendency and learn how to solve it permanently no matter what kinda issue you’re facing.
Factors That Work Behind This Phenomenon
As I mentioned previously, several external factors lead the mind to behave like this. I have a friend, who faced the same a few years ago. But he was unable to get over this situation himself, hence seeking professional help eventually he found one specific incident bothering him.
Look, all of sudden such a complex situation will never appear before you. You must’ve gone within something serious no matter consciously or unconsciously, that is now affecting your mind. After years of constant research on this matter, relationship counselors and psychologists have identified a few such potential factors that may lead to many abnormal phenomena.
You Got A Crush
If you got a crush on a woman, and couldn’t stop thinking about her, it’s very normal. Sometimes, the effects due to this factor last long and sometimes go away within days. What you can do is just give yourself enough time to get over it.
You Suspect She Likes You
It happened to me! It’s a funny story, you know! In college, I had a junior girl in my class. Due to many of her activities, I suspected that she likes me. This thought literally rolled inside my mind constantly and I used to think about her always. Eventually, I ended up asking her out myself and she rejected me! So, if you think that someone likes you, according to many relationship experts, it becomes quite normal that’ll think about her even in your subconscious mind.
You’ve Recently Come To A Relationship
It may sound funny but sometimes new couples indeed behave in many such ways that are not at all mature and normal. If you’re also a new couple and worried about why on earth you can help thinking about your girlfriend, I would suggest you just relax.
New relationships bring certain changes in our hormonal architecture that provokes your brain to constantly think about her. Like many other phases of relationships, this is also just a phase and will go away with time.
She Has A History Of Cheating On You
Relationships do not go in horizontal lines. Maybe she cheated on you in the past and that incident still haunts you. Perhaps, you always think that she could cheat on you again, or you’re just suffering from that trauma. This situation can lead your mind to think about her constantly and in most cases, people do not easily get over this. You’ll get to know more about this situation and learn to handle this effectively in the due course.
You’re Suffering From An Inferiority Complex
Many people suffer from many types of inferiority complexes. These inferiority complexes eventually lead to thinking about someone without any pause. In such a condition, one may feel that he’s not worthy of his partner, he may get jealous of his partner’s job, prospect, and even feel insecure of her friend base.
If you also fall in this category, you won’t be able to stop yourself from thinking about her. But, here I would like to request you not to blame yourself because it’s not your fault at all. You’ll learn to handle this situation afterward in this article.
You’ve Recently Broken Up
If you have recently broken up with your girlfriend and now can’t stop thinking about her, I would like to tell you that it’s quite normal. Breakups hit a person severely and no matter why you people have broken up, you’ll think about her all day.
Look, you made so many memories, spent so much time, she became a part of your life. So, when you people have broken up she’s no longer with you, naturally, your subconscious will try to have visions about the memories to increase the dopamine flow inside your brain. But remember, no matter how much it’s hurting you now, patching up again is not always an option.
You Got Rejected
If you asked someone out and got rejected, you may eventually end up thinking about her constantly. Rejection never feels good. After getting rejected, people usually tend to think about what made her reject you; if there was something wrong in your approach; whether she’s single or not, what the next step should be, blah blah blah. Remember, I told you about getting myself rejected by that junior girl. After she rejected me, for some days, I used to think about her all day long. But fortunately, after some days, it went away from my mind.
Your Childhood Is Hitting You
If you had faced any miserable incident during your childhood days, no matter what kind of incident it was, it may end up affecting you in this way even after years. Sometimes, people face difficult situations if they witness problems between their mom and dad, or if they get harassed by someone.
Look, it’s a medical condition and is treatable by a professional. You can also take some measures yourself that you’ll learn after going through the entire article. For now, just hold yourself strong.
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Her?
The external factors that are primarily responsible for affecting human minds, can be different for different people. But no matter what the primary factor is, the outcome stays quite the same. So now it becomes important to know what changes those factors bring inside our minds. Because without diagnosing the exact condition based on the factors, we can’t effectively head towards the solutions to this problem.
The friend I talked about, went to a professional even to diagnose his mental condition. But I can assure you, after going through the following points and finishing the entire article, you’ll be able to identify the exact condition you’re going within and maybe you’ll be able to get over the issue yourself without any 3rd party intervention.
This is one of the most common conditions due to which men can’t help thinking about a specific woman. If you got a crush on someone or you think she likes you or if you’re in a new relationship and now can’t stop thinking about her, it’s possible that you got obsessed with that woman. Obsession is something that doesn’t let you think about something else. It even bothers you during your work and daily life activities.
In such conditions, you may even get dreams related to her. Obsession is known for affecting people’s sleep cycle severely. At some point of time in life, almost everybody has to deal with such an obsession. So, please try not to panic about this and start treating yourself carefully.
When you simply think about something more than required, it’s referred to as overthinking. When the mind or brain tries to find a solution for some issue but wants to avoid the action and consequences the condition of overthinking tends to appear. In matters related to relationships we often have to deal with this overthinking. Sometimes our obsessions lead to overthinking and sometimes new relationships, past bitter experiences, rejections, etc naturally bring overthinking to us.
Due to this phenomenon of overthinking, we always tend to think about the person no matter what we’re doing and what our situation is. But here I want to assure you that it’s just a simple state of mind that naturally goes away with time. But if you still want to do something about it, you’re all welcome. You’ll get to know about the process you need to follow in the coming part of this article.
This one is no doubt the most common phenomenon that is reported to create most of the problems. Hopefully, I don’t have to define insecurity as everybody is quite familiar with its definition. Insecurity can be a potential reason because of what you can’t help thinking about a specific woman. Here I want to clarify that there’re many natures of insecurity. Insecurity can be sexual, emotional, as well as professional.
Remember when I talked about the factors of past bitter experiences and inferiority complexes? Yes, when your partner has a history of cheating on you, or you don’t feel worthy of her or you’re jealous of her career, you may feel insecure sexually, emotionally, and professionally respectively.
Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder or better known as ROCD is the ultimate as well as a psychomedical condition due to which one may not be able to stop himself from thinking about a girl.
This is basically identified as a new kind of disorder exclusively seen among people who are involved or were involved in some romantic type of relationship. In this condition, people tend to fear and get doubts about any decision in their relationship.
They often think that whether their partner is/was right for them or not, and sometimes, they may even think if they are/were right for their partner. These people never stop thinking about their partner or ex-partner and often get exhausted. One should deal with it very seriously as this phenomenon can eventually lead to severe depression as well. [Source: Frontiers in Psychiatry]
How To Get Over It?
Here comes the most expected part of the entire. Now as you know the factors that work behind, the conditions that lead to, it’s time for knowing exactly how you can get over the situation. I understand that no matter what the reasons are or what conditions you’re facing, the entire thing is quite embarrassing to the self-dignity.
That’s why the following solutions are designed in such a way, that it’ll not only help you to stop thinking about a girl but also it’ll help you to restore your self-dignity and confidence.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
The primary reason why people can’t stop thinking about a girl is they try it desperately. Yes, it may sound irrational but if you try something hard, your brain tends to remember that every single time.
That’s why no matter how much you try, you fail every time and blame yourself. So, from today, first, stop trying. And most importantly, stop being hard on yourself. Your mind is too tender now to deal with your hardness. Give it more space to breathe.
Learn To Decide & Accept
The basic reason why all kinds of obsessions, insecurity, and overthinking come is we hesitate to accept and decide in the very first place. When you start deciding your actions and accepting the consequences, your mind will stop fearing. And if you have overcome the fear, half the battle is won.
So, the primary rule of bringing change is to decide & accept. For example, if you got a crush on someone, or think she likes you, go & tell her. What will happen! Maximum she’ll reject you. Certainly, you’ll get embarrassed at that moment but you’re gonna get permanent relief from the emotional dilemma.
Be Straight With Your Words
When I asked you to go and tell her, I meant your words to be quite straight and clear to her. Not only straight & clear words are best for asking someone out but it also saves you from future overthinking.
For example, if you’ve asked someone out but weren't able to express your feelings clearly and got rejected, then your brain may think what if you could tell her everything that you feel. Don’t leave any space for that future ‘what if'.
Get Away From Her On Social Media
If you’ve broken up with someone and now can’t stop thinking about her, it’s time to get rid of her social media profiles. Social media often reminds us of our memories and through this process, our brain tries to mold our mind. Thus our breakup eventually breaks us. Don’t even let that happen.
Make your photos private or delete them from social media, Block her if possible and if not, unfollow her from everywhere. Believe me, it helps.
Travel More & Explore More
Traveling and new exploration are always proven helpful to heal any situation. But through the word ‘exploration’, here I meant new people. Relationship experts often say that replacing a person with someone new helps to stop thinking about her. Here I want to suggest not getting involved in any emotional bonding. Learn how to love exploring new people. And if someone wants to get close to you, make it clear that you want no string attached.
This one helps people who suffer from insecurity. Keeping yourself groomed always boosts your confidence and helps to embrace your self-dignity. In today’s materialistic world, everybody looks at other people as potential options, and so keeping yourself groomed will give you the confidence to be treated as the best one.
Keep Your Brain Busy
Most relationship counselors suggest this measure to get rid of any problems related to obsession, insecurity as well as overthinking. Our brain always tends to keep our minds busy. That’s why when it feels jobless, instantly it tries to shift our focus towards something complicated.
So, if you want to stop thinking about any girl or even something that bothers you, keep your brain busy. Pursue your hobbies, hang out with your friends, spend family time, go for outings, try everything that has the potential to give pleasure to you.
Seek Professional Help
If none of the above-mentioned measures have worked for you, or your mind has already developed ROCD, I think it's time to seek some professional’s help. Here, I would request you not to delay it or even ignore it. Ignoring this phenomenon is not gonna help you at all. But please don’t panic.
Many people around the world freak out when asked to seek professional help. It’s nothing but a complicated medical condition. So, if anything isn’t helping, seek help from a professional to avoid anything worse.
That was pretty everything you needed to know if you can't stop yourself from thinking about any girl. In this article, I adopted a 'root to end’ approach to providing you with an ultimate solution for your problem. From my personal experience, I also know how embarrassing it feels when we fail to control our own minds.
So, as now you have learned about diagnosing your condition through various external factors, and know almost all the potential solutions, I hope you’ll be able to heal yourself. And again, never hesitate to consult a professional if needed.
Wish you a very happy and healthy life.