The Female Mind Control Handbook
You wake up and text him, "Good Morning." While sipping your first cup of coffee, you ask him what he is having for breakfast. You take a shower. Dress up. Text him you are about to leave for your classes, and what about him. While stuck in traffic on the way, you check on him. After reaching your class, you tell him you have reached. At the time of lunch, you text him. You send him zillions of texts throughout the day.
Now I understand. You care about him. Though you are not with him, you don't want him to feel lonely. You are trying to make every moment noticed. But he could not get back to you or maybe replied only twice.
So, let's accept it you texted him too much, and how do you fix it? Of course, there is a solution to it. The very first step will be to make him feel that your intention to bomb him with texts was nothing but out of concern. To make things get back to normal, plan a romantic date. Maybe a coffee date or a dinner date. Making his favorite food wouldn't be a bad idea. Whatever you'd do, do not repeat these mistakes.
Imagine you are receiving tons of text in the middle of a tight schedule? Is it possible for you to reply to every text? In such cases, it is easy to feel agitated.
But Why Do You Text Him Too Much?
To begin with, you first need to dig deep into this. Take a look back. Are you texting him from the very beginning? Or did you do this after a specific incident? THINK!
There can be a few reasons,
"I Am Insecure"!
This possibility is coming from my own experience. I used to date a guy in high school, and he cheated me badly. After that heartbreak, I started feeling insecure- about myself and the relationship I was in.
That leads me to check on him every hour. I wanted every update of him.
"I Have NOTHING Else To Do"!
You are texting him so much because you have nothing important to do! If you had an exam coming up or had to prepare for an important task, would you have checked on him frequently?
You have too much time to kill, and that's why you are spending it on him.
"I Am SPYING On Him"!
Maybe there was a past incident that made you jealous, or he saw him with someone else. You want his updates because you somehow suspect him. You are afraid of being cheated, or you are too scared to lose him.
"I Have No FRIENDS"
Another reason to text him too much can be you have zero friends. That's why you want to share your minute details with him. You want him to be your partner, and you are hanging out buddy all at once.
There's nothing wrong with that. But if your partner doesn't want his other role in life to be your best friend, your constant text would make him feel pressured.
What Happens When You Text Him Too Much?
Before you try to fix this PROBLEM, you must understand the discredits of too much texting. If you can make these out, it'd be easier for you to fix this problem.
Attention Seeker Alert TURNED ON
You are doing this for your concern. But receiving tons of text from you would make him feel like you are seeking attention only! I know that's not true. But we girls have our way of expressing our concerns. Boys show their concerns differently.
Let me share with you one of my friend's stories. My friend Neil once told me, "When I used to get her text in the morning in the early stages of our relationship, it made me blush. Now I receive texts from her every hour. It seems like every hour she's looking for my attention…."
Every notification from her had made him feel, a bean to dump all the attention he has for free. And what do you think, how long the charm of anything free lasts?
The CHASE Is Nowhere
The more it is hard to get the woman a man desires, the more passionate he becomes. He thinks about ways to make her his. He looks for ways to make her happy. Winning all the odds for her seems like his soul purpose.
When you show up every hour, he doesn't have to chase for you. You make it all easy to get you. He fails to feel the thrill with you. So, you are making your way to find a new THRILL to CHASE.
CURIOSITY Is Gone
Humans love new things because there is always something to discover. Always a chance for "nothing like this before" to be seen. Curiosity keeps people glued.
When you make yourself available for him at every moment, you kill his curiosity each time. You seem like an old textbook. He has read it many times and is aware of everything inside it.
Taken For GRANTED
What types of flowers do we want to grow in our garden? Primarily those who take time to develop. We need to water them regularly. Save them from pests thus applying pesticides. We love things that come with effort. The same is in the case of relationships.
When in a relationship, the other person does not need to give any effort. It loses its value. That person takes the other person for granted.
Now, How To Fix This?
No matter how strong or mature you are, there is always some possibility of making mistakes, especially in relationships. A relationship is not like math. Let's admit that. None is the same, so there is no particular way to make the relationship work. Even the strongest bonds fail. But understanding the mistakes at the initial stage and taking steps is the most important thing.
I'm glad that you are looking for solutions to fix the problem. Here are some tips to solve your problem!
Don't Be Afraid To Take Responsibility
Life was going smoothly. You guys were having a good time. But I texted him too much, and now your life is at stake. So, who killed the cat?
The first step to solve this problem would be to take responsibility for creating the crumble. We often fail to keep our egos aside, and that is the main reason most relationships fail. Accept that you are the one at fault. Do not be defensive or try sidestepping your mistakes.
With your acceptance, you'd make yourself less miserable. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't beat yourself for this.
Don't Fear To Say Sorry
In movies or TV shows, we see that girls hardly say "Sorry." But, real life is different from reel life. Here you have to take care of things differently.
When you accept you are guilty, the following steps become easier to fix this problem caused by texting too much. What should you do now? Tell him you are sorry.
Now, I know this is one of the most challenging words to say and make the person feel the same at the same time. But that simple word would not only save your relationship but will save you from future turmoil rooted in this problem.
Don't Try To Fix It Via TEXT
You want to say sorry to him. But don't text him that you are embarrassed or how miserable you are for texting him too much. You are going to repeat the mistake. Don't do it, girl.
Rather than texting or emailing him, it's better to meet him in person and say those words in front of him. When you would have a face-to-face conversation, it'd be easier for him to understand your feelings and what you did out of concern.
If you can't meet him, a video call or even a voice call would work. But please, no Text, please.
Plan A Superb Romantic Date
Taking responsibility or saying sorry would work. But you have to work a bit more to win him. It would again feel like day one of the relationship.
Plan a nice date. A romantic date idea can never go wrong. Avoid movie dates because you will not get enough time to talk there. Dinner or even a brunch date will be the perfect one. Even a date in an amusement park!
The main idea is to spend quality time with him. Wear his favorite color or his favorite dress of yours. Make some good memories!
Prepare His Favorite Dish
There's a saying, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." It would help if you didn't ignore such proverbs. And let's be honest, be it a man or woman, anyone can not deny tasty food.
Cook his favorite dish and surprise him. It's not the food or the ingredients in it. You cared and put your efforts into making this for him. He will feel special and can feel how much you care and love him.
Watch His Favorite Game With Him
The last one on the list is the easiest. Every boy has a soft corner for his favorite game. Be it soccer or baseball—the fun they can not miss.
Watch his favorite game with him. Support his favorite team or player. Evan, you can go a step ahead and wear the team jersey or jersey of his favorite ones!
These are some tips to fix your problem quickly. But, You have to make sure you don't repeat these mistakes.
How Do You Avoid Texting Him Too Much?
Here are few things you can try to make yourself engage.
Reschedule Your Daily Life!
When in doubt, reschedule your life. Trust me; it works like magic. How? It's effortless. When we do the same work for a longer time, our brain absorbs that. We start doing them in autopilot mode.
Your first task would be to give your brain a reality check. So instead of walking up late, start to wake up early. Instead of running on a treadmill, go for a walk in the park. These small changes will make you feel refreshed. When you feel refreshed, your mind feels relaxed. With a calm mind, you worry less.
Start Something New
Work on something new. Why something new? Because everything new gives us a thrill! Again a psychological trick to fix your problem.
It can be a new internship or even a new shift of work. You can even start the small business you were planning to do for months. Changing your work environment will positively change your mind.
You'll need time to get along with the new changes. Amidst your busy schedule, it'd get hard to check on him every hour like you used to do.
Pick Up Your Old Hobby
Pick up your old hobby. Your colors are drying in the tubes. There is a level of dust on your books. It's time to go back to them. Start painting. Read books. Restart any hobby that is used to enlighten your mood.
Research has proven that people who spend their leisure time on hobbies instead of mindless scrolling on social media are mentally stronger. That's what we want.
You have less time to kill in this scenario, so you don't bother him over text.
Learn A New Skill
When brushing up your old hobby, consider investing your time in learning a new skill. Preferably a new skill that is on-demand.
The best part about this journey is understanding what is essential for you and what is not. Learning something new will motivate you from the inside. The more you know something, the more you'll discover yourself.
You will gradually understand that texting him every hour is unnecessary. You can make him feel cared for without just texting him now and then.
Say Hello To New Friends
We, humans, are social beings. We need someone to share our sorrows with. We deserve someone to celebrate our joy with. That someone is a friend.
If you have broken up with your old friends, it is high time you should make some new buddies. These people can be from anywhere. They are more aged than you. Maybe junior to you. Perhaps you meet them online. You do not need to care.
You will hang out with your new friends and share your life with them. Gradually, the number of texts from you to him will reduce.
Say Yes To Your Family
When we are dating, we tend to ignore our family (I have done this too). In the end, they always stand for us.
When you give value to your family, you feel less lonely. You miss him less. You text him less.
Go On A Self-Date
Try to exercise regularly. Eat healthy food. Drink a good amount of water. Have a sound sleep. Control your alcohol consumption. Quit smoking.
This simple life change will make you healthier from insight. You with a strong body and mind will worry less and will not feel insecure. When you feel less insecure, you'll not force yourself to check on him so often.
If your past scars are letting you doubt this relationship or him, that can be a reason why you are texting him too much. This tip will help you solve this problem from the root.
Forgive them and be grateful for what you have. When you make peace with all the previous experiences, the fight within you ceases. That's the main reason to practice gratitude every day.
In the end, I'd say texting too much in a relationship is not always wrong and you don't have to fix this until you messed up the conversation entirely.
Texting frequently means you really care for the person you love. But also in some cases, it might feel too possessive or desperate, so better to keep your messages within the limit and see how he is reacting to your messages then it will be crystal clear that does he feel irritated or enjoy the conversation.
However, try to spend more quality time with your partner, create a dating calendar and go on dates to enjoy the live conversation rather than focusing on increasing the frequency of texting, you will see the result immediately, and also there will be less misunderstanding as well.
I hope the entire article gives you lots of insights, feel free to add your thoughts in the comment section as well, I'd love to see those too.
The easiest way to realize you are texting too much is just by looking at your conversation box. It looks unbalanced. Most of the messages are sent from your side only.
A 2019 survey says that texting more than 6 messages in a row can feel like "too much." Again, another study on a social media app says, over 10 texts a day feels overwhelming.
Well, the answer to this question depends on the situation. If there is something urgent, you can definitely text him first. But if you are in the initial stage of the relationship, it is better to wait for him. Let him do a bit of work to win you.
People often think it'd feel awkward to call a person at any time. That's why they opt for texting. The person on the other side can read the text and reply according to their convenience.
But studies have proved that couples who choose to call over texting have a healthier relationship. Why? Because on phone calls, both of them can share their emotions and connect better with each other. It can be harder to do so via texting.