My Boyfriend Goes Days Without Talking To Me: Reasons & Solution

Ahiri Chakraborty
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Be it in any relationship, communication keeps the flow going. The man you love or like, you want to be with him. When it is not physically possible, phone calls or texts are your saviors. It is not an unrealistic expectation to communicate over the phone. But, what does it mean when your boyfriend goes days without talking to you?

There are great possible reasons behind the scenario. First thing first. Did you guys argue on something? Or did you say something you should not? He may be upset or mad about that. He can be away for a trip or any vital work. Perchance he is busy with his life- work-life or study. He prefers mindful time spending rather than mindless chatter. Perhaps he wants to see you in person and spend quality time with you.

Also, it depends on what kind of relationship you guys have. If you are already in a relationship, you need to do some background checks. You can not ignore the chance of him cheating on you, or he loses interest. Again, if you guys are not committed, it can be his way of showing you that he is not desperate or he wants you to call back.

Let's dig into the deep to find out the reasons or what your next steps should be!

What Are The Possible Reasons For Him Not Talking To You?

Being in a relationship is like planting a seed. You water that seed. It grows to a sapling. You keep on nurturing it. In a relationship, communication is like that. A relationship can not grow without talking to each other. If he stops talking to you, you should not wait and watch. Here are some possible reasons for him not talking to you-

He Is Mad Or Upset For You!

The first possible reason that pops into my mind when my significant other does not call or talk to me is that he is mad or upset. I think you must have thought that too. Try to remember your last conversation with him. Was it cold? Did he go off in the middle of a conversation after you said something?

In books or movies, it often shows that boys are made of thick skin. They do not pay attention to what their girls say. But, let's be honest, guys are human too. They can be hurt, mad, or sad!

He Is Simply Being Busy!

Why do you think he should be glued to his phone all the time? He must have a career or goal he wants to achieve—a life outside your relationship. And, You agree with me that achieving goals or having a successful life is not a cakewalk.

Apart from his work life, he has his family and friends too. Maybe he is away for a trip with them or busy with some family function. For example, In Indian culture, a marriage ceremony is not a one-day program. It is for at least three days! So if the boy you are dating is Indian, it is something you should never forget!

He Needs Some Space

There is a term you must be aware of, "codependent." It is similar to "relationship addiction"- where one person in a relationship is too dependent on the other that does not leave any personal space for the other one.

Be it in a relationship or singlehood, we all need our freedom and space. Your boyfriend's reason for not calling you can be that. He is not codependent. It is a boon. Both of you can get time to focus on your lives and grow from the inside. Don't let a guy like him go!

He Chooses Quality Over Quantity

If your boyfriend is not talking to you for days, there is no surety that he is cheating on you or has already lost interest. On the contrary, a big chance is there that he is looking for ways to spend quality time with you. Five minutes of quality conversation is way better than spending hours of mindless chat.

Now, you may ask, what is a mindless conversation, and how can it affect your relationship? A mindless conversation is when you guys ignore some crucial topics and just talk to each other randomly. In the long run, both of you can face relationship burnout or lose the balance between work life and relationship.

He Is Not Desperate

If you guys have not committed a relationship yet and he does not call or see you often, it can be his way of controlling himself. He does not want to look desperate. Instead, he intends to take manageable steps towards you.

Before you ask me about the relationship between call and desperation, I'm spilling the beans for you. You are not officially his girlfriend till now. So, there is still a chance your dating may not work well. For example, if he calls you anytime, you can feel annoyed. Or he is still not sure if a call from him can make you happy.

He Is Not Good At Telephonic Conversation

Talking to a girl over-call is not always every guy's cup of tea. Not every guy is a smooth talker. So you can not overlook this possible reason for him not calling you.

Shy guys exist. They prefer conversations via text to phone calls. Again, a few guys are there who choose to spend time with their partners face to face. They like having coffee together instead of talking in front of a desktop screen or phone calls. The comfort zone for each and everyone is different. 

He Wants You To Call First

Why should girls have all the fun? He can think that. He calls you first. Again, he is the one to text you first. It has triggered him. He is trying to test you. "Stop calling her and see"- that's now his mission.

He is not calling you for days and waiting for your call. He is checking you. Suppose you are interested enough to be with him or don't care if he does not call you. If you lose your patience and call him first, he will be clear about your intentions.

He Is Losing Interest

The Previously mentioned reasons are kind of a positive way to see this situation. But, life can never be the bed of roses. If he goes days after days without talking, you, my dear friend, have to dive deep into this.

If he is busy with something, he can call you at the end of the day or after 2-3 days and tell you his reasons. Even he can drop a text informing him about his absence. If he cares about you, he will try every possible way not to make you worry. But if he is no more interested in you, he would do nothing. That's the signal!

He Is Cheating

If a man is genuinely concerned about you and wants the relationship to keep going, he will not make you feel lonely. Instead, your boyfriend will value you and your time. He will know that you are waiting for his call. You long to see him.

The wrong guy would not care much. But, if he looks unapologetic for not talking to you day after day without not informing you, there is some severe problem. There is a high chance he is investing his time with someone else. He does not care about you. He is cheating on you.

What Should You Do?

Only understanding the reasons for him not talking to you will not do any good to you. It would be best if you took action. Here is what your next steps should be.

If He Is Mad Or Upset For You

If you have made him mad or upset, it is your turn to take responsibility. Don't run away from such problems. However, don't expect him to come and talk to you about this problem. In the long run, it will affect your relationship.

Start with saying sorry. You have no idea how powerful this word is. But please don't make it sound like a forceful one. Instead, show him that you mean this and will not make such mistakes. Make him feel valuable. Giving him a handmade gift with a note will add the cherry to the cake. If you want and can afford it, plan a romantic date. Don't miss any chance to make him feel special!

If He Is Busy

If he is busy, there is no reason to be mad at him or overthink the situation. Being busy with his career is a sign that he is not an idle fellow. Again if he is away, you don't need to imagine some rough situation in your head. 

In the meanwhile, you spend time with your family and friends. Go out. You can utilize this situation by doing a social media detox. Stay from social media. Rejuvenate yourself. You can go out on a solo date, because above all you are precious!

If He Needs Space

A codependent person will seek for their personal space. Without making him feel suffocated, could you give them the room he deserves? Please do not force them to call you or meet you. He will not cheat you instead of helping you to be a better person.

While he is valuing their time, you love yours too. Learn a new skill that can help you to get a promotion. You can start your side hustle. You will not only earn a few extra bucks, but you will also find a purpose. He will be there to celebrate your new wins!

If Prefers To Quality Time Spend

If he wants to spend quality time with you, there is nothing better than that. Don't you think so? You never would like to waste your time on some vague conversation rather than working on your goals.

Spend quality time with him. Listen to his words. But also keep in mind that spending quality time does not mean you will talk only about good things. If you are facing any problem with him or any other related issue, talk about that too.

If He Does Not Want To Look Desperate

If not talking to you is not building a desperate image in front of you, also a great thing. He is a gentleman. So you better be sane.

The best solution in this situation is not to panic. Keep calm and wait. He is trying to make "things" work between you two. Let him do that.

If He Is Not Good At Telephonic Conversation

If he is not comfortable enough to talk to you, be it over the phone or face to face, again, only one solution is there. Keep calm and let him come out of his shell.

You try to initiate the conversation. Take the responsibility to break the ice if you think he can be the one for you. Don't rush. He needs time to be comfortable with you. All these can not be expected from him overnight. Give him time.

If He Wants To You To Call First

He is trying to test your patience. Hmm! But is he with that? Does he deserve your attention? I ask you that. If the answer is yes, Go. Break the silence. There is nothing wrong if you are the "first" one to talk or text.

But if the answer is a "NO," You know what you know.

If He Is Losing Interests 

First, you have to understand how many days he can usually go without talking to you? If you say 2-3 days. It still can be counted as usual. But if you tell a week or more than that, that's never normal.

It is better to ask them directly. He is not interested; you deserve a clear "No" from him. If the situation is like that, don't waste your time with someone who does not care. Move on.

If He Is Cheating On You

If he goes days without talking to you, you need to see this as a red flag in the worst scenario. Talk to your friends. The mutual friends you guys have can help you in this situation. Ask for help from them.

Once you are sure he is cheating, you know what you have to do. Cut off connection with him. You are a precious soul. You don't need to harm your peace of mind for someone evil like him.

Wrapping Up

The person you love may have reasons not to talk to you. He can be mad at you. His work can keep him busy. Or he intentionally stops talking to you. But if that person cares about you, in the end, he will come back to you. He will share your reasons or what he has to go through. But if that person is not a genuine one, or not into you or is cheating on you, will not do any of these. To such a person, your value is zero. So don't settle with such people. That person does not deserve your concern. You matter—your mental health matters.

FAQs:

What does it mean when he texts me but does not call?

In this age of social media, it is easier to text someone. On text, one can have a quick conversation when they need to. Possibly he is busy or with his boss or family. Also, some people are shy to talk on the phone. But if you guys are in a relationship and he avoids your call, it can be a sign of cheating.

He goes days without talking to me. Am I in a situationship?

If he goes days without talking to you, it can be a sign of situationship. But there are many other ways to detect that. Small talks, inconsistent conversation, no progress in the relationship, no commitment - all these can indicate you are in a situationship. So whatever "ship" you are in, look before you jump to the conclusion.

What if you go a day without talking to your boyfriend?

Healthy communication makes a relationship stronger. You don't need to force yourself or your boyfriend to talk about anything unnecessary. It's okay if you guys are not meeting every day. But there must be transparency and personal space. You can go a day without talking to your boyfriend. But make sure there is no communication gap.

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