Marriage is something that lays the most basic foundation of our society. The bonding that marriage brings between two people eventually persists in the social chain. But all marriages aren’t meant to be happy marriages. Problems in marriages eventually lead to weakening family bondings. That’s why these kinda problems must be dealt with utmost priority and care.
Marriage can be a messy situation if anyone among the two does not find happiness in the relationship. Lack of understanding and emotional acceptance and openness make the marriage roadway slippery.
A married man feeling attracted towards another woman is nothing uncommon or even unnatural. Attraction is common between opposite genders at any age and situation. However, conscious behavior and self-control is the thing that distinguishes human beings from other animals.
So if your man crosses the border of attraction, taking himself out for emotional and physical intimacy with some other woman, that is the worst situation to be in.
But the situation becomes more confusing when he says that he loves some other woman but still wants to stay with you. Extra-marital affairs can lead to toxic fights and even to separation. But when things tend to go the other way around as I just mentioned, naturally you’ll get confused about his true intentions. In such situations, many queries and doubts will be hovering around your brain.
Don’t worry. You’ve landed on the right page. I’ll guide you regarding that in this blog.
First of all, why does he wants to stay with you if he’s in love with another woman? Well, He may want to stay with you because he isn’t still sure about the other woman himself. Or maybe, he loves you so much that his affection for some other woman couldn’t overshadow it. Or it might be, he doesn’t want to break off the family.
However, there is always a chance for you to reconstruct your marriage, no matter if your husband is in love with any other woman.
Go through the rest of the article to help yourself understand your husband better and help to decode the root problem of the situation as well. Rest assured, I have added a few facts about how you can fix the relationship with your husband and start it all over again.
But before that are you sure your husband is in love with another woman? let's jump in and see some signs that will give a clear indication.
Signs That Says Your Husband Is In Love With Another Woman
Sometimes, when the husbands want to stay with their wife despite loving some other women, wives tend to get confused whether their husband is genuinely in love with this other woman or not! If you too are still not sure if your husband is loving someone else out of this marriage yet staying with you OR you need a double confirmation on all your doubts towards him, here are a few pro tips to make things clear for you.
Your Husband Makes Excuses To Be With This Woman
Your husband is always up to something or the other with this woman. He is planning short trips, dinner dates, visiting carnivals, or doing all kinds of stuff to spend the most time with her alone.
You Will Know When He’s Lying
Everything in your marriage may feel the same, yet there will be emotional disengagement, lack of spark, and sudden “off” feelings.
He Makes Eye Contact With His Lady Love
You may find this other woman at a dinner party or club, and your husband would clearly make eye contact with her. There is a light flirty lingering energy around them in the air.
He’ll Hide His Phone And Text-Messages
The secretive behavior is a reflection that he is hiding something that he is not willing to reveal to you, like his extra-marital relationship.
He’s Speaking His Truth
He’s vocal about his love affair or emotional involvement in this relationship outside your marriage. This is the ultimate confirmation you will need.
So now if you are confident that your husband is in love with another woman then let's find the potential reasons and solutions.
Why He Fell In Love With Someone Else
Cheating in a marriage situation or having external affairs with other women are never legitimate. No excuse can ever make up for your husband cheating on you. Cheating on a partner is never a sudden mistake, rather it’s a choice that someone makes.
However, if your husband is vocal and speaking his truth about loving another woman, yet wanting to stay with you, there are hidden layers that sprouted this situation in the first place. So, before knowing why he wants to stay with you even after loving another woman, you must know why he fell in love with that woman in the first place.
The reasons for his falling in love will speak a lot about the context you’re inquiring about. Here’re some potential reasons for what I’m talking about.
Your Marriage Lacks The Spark
No matter what you say on the face, if your husband is in love with another woman yet wants to stay with you, clearly, there’s a lack of spark and freshness or thrill in your chemistry with him. Marriage may seem boring to your husband and his attraction thus leads him the way.
You Are Not Compatible For Each-other
Well, there is no other way to swallow this bitter pill but to accept the truth. You and your husband are great individuals but are not compatible with each other. He may have tried finding a way by calling up the cover of an open marriage with you. Thus staying with you and loving another woman has become the only way for him.
You Are Not Emotionally Invested In This Marriage
There is no emotional engagement in your marriage left. This is often when the husband or the wife has closed themselves off emotionally to their partners.
This kinda emotional blockage comes because of many factors like continuous toxic fighting, sexual incompatibility, lack of regular quality time, etc. This is right when your husband is building external affairs to fill in the cup of emotional involvement.
You Are Not Intimately Invested In The Relationship
Similar to emotional block, lack of intimacy is also a strong possible reason why husbands often trail out of the marriage to love other women. If your marriage is one among those where there is no intimacy left emotionally and sexually, this is a highly possible reason behind the answer you are searching for.
Always remember, emotional and sexual intimacy is one of the most vital parts that help make such relationships strong. If someone lacks it from the other side, he/she will eventually look for it inside other people.
Family Or Societal Pressure
Sometimes due to one or the other societal pressure, we make unhealthy choices for ourselves. Marriage could sometimes just be a contract that makes your husband stay with you. But, his heart belongs to another woman outside of the marriage.
No matter what the situation is and no matter how beautiful this relationship is if you feel called to let go of a relationship that is not serving you, always listen to that. However, on the other hand, if you genuinely think that you can work on the issues you’re now facing with your husband and it can all get fixed, go for it. Giving your marriage a try is always the best option.
Reasons Why He Still Wants To Stay With You
You’re now sure about the reason why your husband has fallen for some other woman and you were just on the verge of deciding on this relationship. But, your husband says he still wants to stay with you. Now you’re utterly confused and asking yourself, what the hell is going on with you!
Let me make one thing clear first. Marriage isn’t something sort of dating a person. It’s connected with so many things that it requires many efforts and many considerations to get separated. Just an extra-marital relationship isn’t enough to end a marriage; not enough of women, not for men, as well.
So, if your husband is saying that even after being involved with some other woman he wants to stay with you, there’re definitely many complicated things going on in his mind too. Let’s try to decode them.
He’s Not Sure About The Other Woman
Feelings for some other women often come from the heat of the moment. But when that hit of the moment continues and eventually transforms into a relationship, there’s something definitely wrong in your marriage.
Hopefully, till now you’ve already known about it. But whatever is wrong in the marriage, your husband still has a social bonding with you. On the other hand, he definitely has the new spark, but as she’s new in his life, he’s not as sure as to leave you, breaking the marriage.
He Doesn’t Want The Family To Get Broken
Many times, you two have an entire family to be with. So when it comes to breaking off the marriage, it no longer stays a bi-lateral matter. Maybe your husband now has no feelings for you, but what he still cares about is the social bonding and the family that consists of maybe your children or his parents or both.
Maybe, his parents like you a lot. Maybe, he doesn’t want to hurt his parents and doesn't want to trouble his children. According to a survey, around 30% of couples in the United States never get separated from their toxic relationship just because of their children. Maybe, your husband is one of them.
Sometimes due to one or the other societal pressure, we make unhealthy choices for ourselves. Marriage could sometimes just be a contract that makes your husband stay with you. But, his heart belongs to another woman outside of the marriage. In such a situation, he may want to stay with you just because of the circumstantial pressure.
Your husband has been involved in an extra-marital affair for a long time. You two are having toxic fights regularly. But when the question comes to leaving this marriage he gets confused.
He may get confused about his life after leaving this marriage, maybe he’s confused about his decision of choosing that other woman against you, maybe he’s totally confused about whom he is actually in love with. His confusion can come from many sides.
And as this continuous confusion leads him to a decisional dilemma, in the meantime he wants to stay with you.
He Needs You
When people are motivated by self-interest then they tend to do so many such things that they actually don’t wanna do. This can be the case for your husband too. Maybe he’s motivated to stay with you by his self-interest.
This self-interest is not letting him break off this marriage even after falling in love with another woman. Maybe, he’s dependent on you monetarily, or maybe he’s allured by your social prospect or maybe he’s motivated by your ancestral property. These can also work as a reason for him to stay with you.
Love To This Marriage Overshadowed The Extra-marital
As I mentioned in the beginning and now again telling you at the end that breaking off a marriage is not like breaking up a casual relationship. Two people being in marriage necessarily involves some kinds of feelings for each other, no matter how toxic your relationship has become.
Maybe, before getting into this extra-marital affair, your husband used to love you and this marital bonding a lot. Now maybe he has started loving someone else, but his love and care for this marital bonding haven’t gone. That’s now poking him and he’s saying that he wants to stay with you.
How Should You React and Respond in Such a Situation?
Out of such a confusing state of mind, women often react and respond in ways that should never. Many women tend to break off their marriage out of such confusion and then regret later thinking that they could have given one last try to their marriage. Look, if you wanna break it off then you’ve always had a final choice. But don’t rush at it. Think wisely and then make a decision.
But If you choose to reconcile with your partner and give this marriage one final try, I wanna say that as your husband already wants to stay with you, your job is half done. For the rest, here are some points that are gonna help you.
Communication is a simple step that most people miss while evaluating their relationship. Crystal clear communication is a simple yet powerful way to avoid misunderstanding, insecurities, fights, and jealousy from the very beginning stages.
Learning how to communicate with your spouse clearly about the problems or personal needs and expectations should be a number one priority. This can greatly help couples save their marriage from falling apart.
Try An Open And Different Approach To Understand Your Partner
Clashes between two people often occur when they fail to understand each other. Opposite mindsets, inability to accept the flaws and setbacks of your partner are the basics of a serious breakup and extra-marital affairs with other women in a marriage. This is exactly where you should try to understand and accept your husband just the way he is without any judgment.
Stop repeating the same patterns of fights and misunderstandings when you are willing to start fresh with your marriage again. Rather try to come with an accepting and open approach towards your partner.
Experiment Finding New Mutual Interests
Spending time together is not just a problem solver. Spending quality time together is! Quality time is when both partners in a marriage come together to spend time together without any external interference. It can be anything from reading books, dancing, sports to simply having a conversation. Connecting with your partner and getting to know them again is the key to starting an afresh marriage again.
Be Emotionally Open And Allow Physical Intimacy
Intimacy is not what you think always. It is not about having sex or doing stuff in your bedroom. Intimacy is rather doing things together that cultures mutual happiness, emotional vulnerability, planting forehead kisses, understanding your partner, accepting their truth, letting them know how you feel, and being vocal about those little special things in your unique relationship.
Lack of emotional and physical intimacy in a relationship makes it fall off. So if you are trying to build it back healthy and strong, this is one last thing you can add up to your list.
But here I wanna mention a very important thing. That is as much effort as you’re putting to revive this marriage, expect your husband to put the same. If not initially, then after sometimes. But he must. If you notice him putting no effort at all, I think, it’ll be wise to come out of this marriage.
Maybe, this marriage was not meant to last. And remember, breaking off a marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that any of your relationships won’t work out and your life is gonna end.
Ladies, whatever the reason behind your husband loving another woman out of this marriage, there is always a chance to reconcile with your husband if you want to. However, remember to not force anything and let go of connection if it’s not serving you any further.
I hope all these points have helped you to understand and reconnect with your partner better. However, it’s important to keep in mind that saving a marriage requires effort from both partners. One-sided efforts ain’t taking your marriage to any better place.
Here are some frequently asked questions that often tend to come to women’s minds when their husbands want to stay with them even after being in love with some other girls.
Yes, he can. If he’s not happy in the marriage and not getting something from the marriage that he wants but from the other woman, he can fall in love and eventually develop true affection for another woman.
No, a happily married man can never fall in love with another woman. He can be attracted to some women due to some heat of the moment, or maybe something temporary can happen between them. But he can never develop a long-term relationship with that woman if he’s ‘happily married’.
Yes, according to psychologists, it’s possible for a man to love two women simultaneously. If your husband is claiming so, maybe he’s not lying. Maybe, he loves you in one way and loves his external interest in some other way. He’s definitely confused, but it can be true that he’s genuinely in love with you both.
A little compromise on certain matters is mandatory to make any relationship work, no matter if it's a marriage or a date. But all compromises should have a boundary beyond which you should never compromise on. It can affect your self-dignity and allow him to take you for granted. Never go for such compromises.