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Why Does My Ex Contact Me When He Has A Girlfriend? (& Your Next Move)

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Have you ever found yourself being contacted by your ex after he has already moved on? It’s happened to all of us. You get dumped by someone you thought was the “one,” and then they surprise you by reaching out when you least expect it. It can be incredibly frustrating. 

There are many possible reasons why your ex-boyfriend has been contacting you after he's already started a new relationship. 

Despite what you have been led to believe, it is a good move when your ex starts texting again. Your ex contacting you is a step in the right direction. 

Why does my ex contact me when he has a girlfriend? He is living with a new person whose opinions and ideas may not be aligned with his. Maybe he misses the companionship you two shared. He seeks comfort from someone who has been there for him in the past and hasn't led him. These are very good reasons for him to reach out to you. 

I had a boyfriend once. Things went wrong between us and eventually, we had to split up. It was one of those painful breakups I never want to go through again, but as time goes on I've realized that my ex keeps contacting me even when he's in a new relationship. 

Ex-boyfriends contacting you after they have a girlfriend is not uncommon and is done for several reasons. The most important reason as to why he has been contacting you is because one of the following is true:

Maybe, He Wants To Rekindle The Camaraderie

Your ex-boyfriend probably misses the good times you shared with him and wants to make sure that he doesn’t lose that friendship. Sometimes, the belief that a past relationship was a good one makes it even harder to move on to a new one. 

Your ex wants to restore a friendship with you so he can recollect the past and have someone to enjoy current events with. After all, you were close friends before your relationship started. Everyone needs someone like that in his life, therefore he requests keeping in touch with you.

So, even if you are feeling hurt or disappointed, try to take a step back and remember the friendship that was once there.

My mother still cannot believe I have been in contact with my ex and we are good friends too. So, if you ask me I’ll say, maybe your ex wants to be your good friend and thus contacting you even when he has a girlfriend. I’m a strong believer that exes can still be good friends

It should be your call if you also want t to be in touch with your ex-boyfriend or want to delete every memory you had with him and move forward. Whatever you decide, I am always with you.

Protip: In case you still want to be friends with your ex remember that you are each other’s ex-lovers, which means there will always be heightened emotions involved. That is why it can be emotionally difficult for both of you at times.

See Also:  Did Your Ex Come Back After Dumping You?

Your Ex Still Wants You In His Life As His Girlfriend

In some ways, the question is a paradox: An ex-boyfriend contacting you when he has a girlfriend (presumably) means that he wants to be with you.

He's not sure if you're interested in him still, so he's making sure. Even though he said it was over, he may stay in contact with you to see if there's any chance.

Your ex may contact you a few times to test and see how you respond or because he cannot get you off his mind. He may not tell the girl that he is in a relationship with about this, either.

Oftentimes, no matter how hard we try to break up with someone, if we are still in love with them, it can be really hard to completely cut off all ties.

He Is Seeking Closure

The closure is a natural sensation that everyone feels when they lose someone or something important to them. Some people never get closure, which is why they cannot let the past go. 

Anyone who goes through a breakup can tell you that to move on and let go of bad memories you have to go back and try to fix what went wrong. Try to reconcile, resolve, or salvage the relationship.

In general terms, people who are emotionally hurt by a breakup tend to want closure. They’re looking for answers. It doesn’t completely surprise me that your x boyfriend is still trying to keep in contact with you after you broke up with him.  

That may be a sign that the two of you are more than just friends, or have the potential to be more than just friends in the future.

[Fatal] He Is As Confused As A Shameleon

You may notice that your ex-boyfriend keeps contacting you, even when he has a new girlfriend. Although they may claim to love their new partner, or that they have no feelings for you anymore, inside they may not be sure that this is the truth.

Your ex-boyfriend may have been keeping a close eye on you and is checking to see whether his new relationship can hold up to the one he had with you. 

This kind of behavior can be confusing and upsetting for you because you may continue to have strong feelings for your ex-boyfriend. 

Do not return to such a jerk. PERIOD. In fact, in situations like this, I would just keep ignoring him until he gets the message and stops contacting you. The reason this works is that people don't persist in doing things that don't make them happy. You are not a source of happiness for your ex-boyfriend anymore.

Protip: It helps if you let him know that you are not available emotionally or physically while he is in a relationship with anyone else and that any attempt on your part to get back together would be met with resistance.

He Wants To Flume With Jealousy [Know his hidden agenda]

By contacting you, your ex is still trying to exert control and dominance over you. By reminding you that he is with his girlfriend, it makes you question yourself. You remember how much better things were when the two of you were together. You will feel jealous and insecure. You are still on his mind and heart.

Maybe it’s his ego. Showing you that distance didn’t give him the time to understand how much he needed you in his life. Maybe he wants to show you that he can do just fine without you and that your breakup was a mistake on your part. Or maybe this is his way of reaching out to you because he still has feelings for you.

See Also:  Why Does My Ex Who Loved Me So Much Hate Me After Breaking Up?

The most common reason for this is because he's not over you. He can't get you back but showing you that he has moved on, makes you feel bad about yourself. He may have a girlfriend, but he's not over you. 

Disappointed With Their New Partner And Wants To Find Solace In You

You may be feeling a little confused about why your ex contacts you when he has a girlfriend.

If he’s contacting you, it’s probably he’s just bored with his current relationship and wants to remember the good times that you had together. He’s now looking for the comfort and reassurance that he gets by contacting you. 

And if your response to him is negative in any way, this will only fuel his desire to contact you even more, because his new relationship is causing problems, and he needs someone who he knows has got his ‘back. 😉

As you know all the probable reasons that why your ex-boyfriend is contacting you although when he has a girlfriend, it is time to put that Sherlock’s hat on and find out his agenda behind calling you.

Now, your relationship best friend, that is me (Megha) cannot let you alone to tackle your ex-boyfriend alone because a best friend should be by you through thick and thin, right?

Therefore, I’ll tell you, 

What Should Be Your Next Move When Your Ex-boyfriend Starts Calling You Even Though He Claims To Have A Girlfriend?

Not every relationship that ended, is toxic. Some lost their course owing to several situations. Maybe your was one of that, a love affair that died because you or your partner were burdened with workload or responsibilities of life, etc. Once you have lost each other, you started realizing how much you need and miss each other. And also wants to embrace each other once again.

4 Things You Should Do If You Are Ready To Accept Him In Your Life Again

Even if you are ready to forgive and forget, do not just jump into a relationship just as if nothing happened. 

  1. Reconsider your decision. You have to figure out if you want to get back to him or not. If you have decided that is what you want, then you should talk to him about it. 

You’re ready to focus on what’s best for you. You must regain your control over your life and show him that you are free to accept or reject his advances.

If as a result, he breaks up with his current girlfriend, then that is also his business and not yours. You already tried to do what is best for him and he has the rest of his life to live anyway. You can’t control everything.

  1. It is always a great feeling to be missed, loved, and appreciated. When your ex wants to get back to you, all you need to do is give him certain signals that you are available. Before this happens though, try not to do anything that would make him run away from you again. There is a fine line between showing a man you care and coming across as desperate. 
  1. Interaction with your ex will help establish a steady, positive friendship. This provides comfort for your ex. Your ex needs your help and friendship right now, and you should give it to him. It is much more rewarding to help someone from the best perspective of giving than receiving. When you offer care, love, and goodwill from this point of giving, it does not matter if he returns it or not. You feel better in yourself and that is what counts.
  1. It’s difficult to see your ex fall into the arms of another, but don’t give up hope. It is possible to get him back. You just have to be willing to make some changes. Winning your ex-boyfriend back is not something that happens overnight. It will take time, energy, and a whole lot of patience. Go back to basics. Be the girl he fell in love with. You’re going to have to change your lifestyle, too. Don’t try to force him back into a relationship, but respect the possibility that he may be open to one.
See Also:  She Left Me For Someone Else, Will It Last?

4 Things You Should Do If You Are Not Ready To Accept Your Ex In Your Life Again

  1. If you no longer have feelings for him, you may not even want to be friends again. The best thing to do with this guy in this case is to keep your distance. If he wants a chance to get back together with you, it will be his offer alone.
  1. You could straightaway tell your friend that you’re not interested in his attention and that he can either accept it or you’ll have to reject his relationship. If he calls or emails you again, remind him of your decision over and over until it sinks in and he accepts it as final.
  1. You don’t have to reject him outright. That would be harsh, and you don’t need to hurt his feelings. You may still want him in your life as a friend. When he wants to talk about his new relationship, tell him that it makes you uncomfortable to hear about it and ask him if he would like to discuss something else instead. If he refuses, you might consider limiting the amount of time you spend with him so that you can avoid these topics when they come
  1. Don’t open your ex’s messages or don’t respond to their calls if that something you don’t want. If he wants you back, he’ll have to work harder than that. After all, he broke up with you, didn’t he? It wasn’t quite your decision to end the relationship.

We all experience relationship breakups. After all, it is an inevitable part of life. No relationship can be faultless and no one in the world can claim to have been in a perfect relationship. Break-ups are never easy, it’s especially difficult when we care about that person, yet there are communication skills we can work on to make our break-up a lot smoother for the both of us. Yes, you have broken up, either of you has hurt the opposite, but that doesn’t mean you need to carry that load forever. We can work on ourselves to bid adieu to that break-up pain and get on better terms even with our exes.

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