Why Do I Get Jealous When My Boyfriend Hangs Out With His Friends?

Adhideb Ghosh
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Relationships are one of the most complicated yet beautiful things among humankind. That’s why sometimes it’s too difficult to understand all the equations of relationships. Sometimes people who’re in relationships don’t even understand why they are dealing with certain kinda feelings. Look, in relationships, we can’t predict anything that easily. Sometimes, out of nowhere, certain kinds of feelings start hitting our minds and we often freak out about them. 

There’re some common feelings for all relationships in the world. One of the most prominent of them is jealousy. Jealousy can hit our minds because of various reasons. Some of them may be logical and some seem pretty illogical, even to yourself, when you think about it deeply. At this point of thinking, we start questioning ourselves. This is a pretty complicated phase all of us have to deal with at least once in our life.

Many women often have a tendency to get jealous when their boyfriends hang out with their friends. Seeing the boyfriend spending time with others sparks the fire of jealousy in this case. But initially, the whole thing seems pretty illogical, right?

People in relationships aren’t meant to spend their entire time with their partners only. Then why does jealousy come in this context? Well, women who face this issue, often ask this question and deal with severe self-dilemma and confusion. ‘Is it right?’ ‘Am I worthy of him?’ ‘Why am I getting jealous?’: questions like this often come to mind. 

Well, I had to deal with such a situation too a few years ago. My ex-girlfriend Judy often used to get jealous when I went out with my friends. But she never disclosed her feelings about this jealousy to me. Instead, she used to fight with me over many silly issues due to this jealousy. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out between us and broke up. But even after breaking up, we managed to be friends with each other. At this point, I came to know about that jealousy thing and she tried to explain its reasons to me as well. Tbh, after her, I dated many women and observed quite the same phenomenon among many of them. I also talked with many of my friends over this issue and understood many aspects of this matter.

So, if you now ask me why on earth women feel so, I would say, as far as I understood from my experience, Women can get jealous seeing their boyfriend hanging out with his friends because of many reasons. The reasons may be their insecurity and obsession. It’s also possible that their boyfriend’s activity is responsible for sprouting jealousy in their mind. But jealousy has many different complicated psychological aspects with these as well.

So, if you wanna know those factors that sprout jealousy, whether your jealousy is logical or not and what can you do about it, you must follow the article thoroughly. I’ll share my experiences with you throughout the blog. 

Factors That Work Behind This Jealousy

If you’re being jealous seeing your boyfriend hanging out with his friends, always remember that jealousy doesn’t simply hit human minds on its own. There have always been some external factors that trigger jealousy. These factors can both come from your and your boyfriend’s side.

After years of research, psychologists have been able to identify some of those factors that eventually lead to jealousy in many cases. To control this jealousy first you must know about those factors that trigger the jealousy in the first place.

You’ve Got A History

Past incidents affect our minds so much, both consciously and subconsciously, that due to this history, women tend to get afraid and feel insecure about losing their partners. Maybe your ex dumped you for someone else from his friends’ circle, maybe you’ve faced break-up due to your ex’s friends.

It can be anything. Out of this insecurity and fear, jealousy may appear in your mind when you see your present boyfriend hanging out with his friends. In this situation, you may have many flashbacks from your past too.

You Two Spend Less Quality Time

If your boyfriend and you get less quality time to spend together, jealousy may sprout in your mind seeing him hanging out with his friends. In any relationship, spending quality time together is very important. It not only strengthens the bond between you too but also builds up an environment of mutual trust.

If this mutual is absent in your relationship, you may get jealous seeing your boyfriend spending happy quality time with his friends. If things are like this, you may feel a certain connection gap between you two along with jealousy. 

He Has Got A History

If your boyfriend has a history of dumping you because of some of his friends or liking someone from his friends’ circle, jealousy is meant to appear to you. These kinds of incidents increase the environment of mistrust in him and eventually, the seed of jealousy will sprout in your mind.

Someone From The Group Likes Him

If you think or know that some girl from this friends’ group likes your boyfriend, jealousy will hit your mind seeing him hanging out with them. In this situation, no matter how much you trust him, if you suspect that woman will also be hanging out, you’ll get angry with it. This may eventually lead to a toxic fight between you two.  

He Has Feelings For Someone In The Group

If you think that your boyfriend has secret feelings for someone in this group, you would feel jealous when he hangs out with them.

In this situation, insecurity again hits your mind and as you know, insecurity is the source of jealousy. The same happened to Judy as well. She used to think that I had secret feelings for Sasha when we were just two close friends. She used to blame me and accuse me of cheating on her, but I hardly used to understand her points. 

He Doesn’t Tell His Friends About You

Does your boyfriend hide facts about your relationship in front of his friends? Many guys are like this and don’t want to disclose anything about their relationships publicly, especially in front of their friends. This doesn’t always necessarily mean that something is wrong. Maybe he loves to keep it secret, maybe he loves to treat you like a hidden treasure. But this phenomenon indeed triggers jealousy.

He Behaves Weird 

Some men tend to behave weirdly with their partners while and after hanging out with their friends. If at some point in the relationship your boyfriend has also done this, you may get afraid to see him hanging out with his friends again. Out of this fear, you may get jealous of it.

You’re Obsessed With Him

This happens mostly in new relationships when you’re obsessed with your boyfriend. Maybe you have just started to know each other and your relationship has just reached the stage of ultimate excitement. In this situation, if your boyfriend hangs out often with his friends, you’ll get jealous. Then you may even think, why he’s not spending his entire time with you.

You’re Lonely

People who don’t have a so-called social life or hardly have friends to hang out with, feel lonely and often expect their boyfriends to spend the entire time with them. But when things do not go that way, they tend to get jealous and fight over this issue.

Is Your Jealousy Rational?

Now comes the answer to the most valuable question in this context. You get jealous seeing your boyfriend hanging out with his friend and confused thinking whether your jealousy is rational or irrational. Due to this very dilemma, women get upset, depressed, often lose themselves, get afraid to talk about it, and even hesitate to think about it sometimes.

Through avoiding thinking about this issue women actually want to cover it up. But, believe me, it doesn’t help. The same happened to Judy too. She always used to fight when we were together but she never told me that she gets jealous when I hang out with my friends. I came to know about the whole thing after we’ve broken up. Look, like all other mental phenomena, jealousy is also a part of human emotion.

So there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Rather you should step forward analyzing yourself deeply and talk about it. If you analyze yourself, you’ll clearly understand whether your jealousy is rational or irrational. Then you wouldn’t need me to tell you any further. 

Now I just wanna help you by identifying some common points through which you’ll understand deeper about your jealousy and its nature. 

  • If you doubt your boyfriend with any of his female friends just from your gut feelings but it hasn’t any strong logical basis and you get jealous seeing him hanging out with his friends, maybe you’re wrong and you’re just acting from your insecurity. In this situation, you should keep a close eye on your boyfriend and observe his overall behaviors.
  • If you get jealous even when he hangs out with his office colleagues other than his friends, your jealousy must be irrational and doesn’t have any basis. Now you should look deeper into yourself to find the reason for this jealousy inside you.
  • If your boyfriend has any silly previous history of cheating on you or liking any of his friends, then don’t blame yourself for getting jealous. You’ve enough rationality to get jealous. No matter how much your boyfriend has changed or how many times he apologized, in this context, it’s pretty normal for you to get jealous. Obviously, fighting over this issue or stopping your boyfriend from hanging out isn’t the solution. 
  • If you find excuses to get jealous when your boyfriend hangs out with his friends, maybe your jealousy is irrational and you’re just obsessed with him. 
  • If you know that someone from that group likes your boyfriend and your boyfriend still hangs out with them despite knowing this fact, your jealousy is very normal. There’re some simple and easy solutions to it that you’ll get to know later in this article.
  • If your boyfriend acts weirdly every time after and while hanging out with his friends, you’re not wrong in getting jealous. In this case, your jealousy sprouts from the fear or insecurity that resulted from your boyfriend’s previous behaviors.

How You Can Stop Being Jealous?

As you know the potential reasons for your jealousy and also know whether your jealousy is rational or not, now it’s time to talk about the solutions. As I’ve seen, women often freak out thinking about this jealousy thing and don’t even reach the level to work on it. But I would say, if you never really avoid thinking and talking about this issue, it’s not that hard to find a solution to it. Feeling confident? Or still confused? Don’t worry. I’m gonna make the job more simple for you. 

But before getting into the ways to stop being jealous, I must say that in this context, fighting with your boyfriend is completely unnecessary and only worsens the situation further. Always try to remember that the basic problem is yours, not your boyfriend’s. He can obviously help you but you have to come forward to work on it yourself. So, first, stop fighting. It isn’t gonna help. And prepare yourself to work on this jealousy. 

Okay, now let’s get into the solutions.

Spend Quality Time Together

Lack of spending quality time together is one of the primary reasons for being jealous of seeing your boyfriend hanging out with his friends. So, eradicate the visible primary reason first. Start spending quality time. If you two are working professionals, manage time from your busy schedule for each other.

During that time, we talk to each other a lot, participate in some games, do whatever you both love to do together. When you’ll feel fulfilled in the relationship with him, the jealousy will automatically go away. 

Find Your Hobbies

The source of your jealousy can simply be your obsession with him. If you think that is it, it’s better you start spending time pursuing your hobbies. And if you don’t really know what your hobbies are, start doing random but creative things. Take help from the internet. Manage time to pursue them. Try to shift your overall focus from your boyfriend to something else. But, I must mention, only creative works tend to help in this context.

Love Yourself More

When you feel jealous, your inner self gets hurt. Because of this, you may get more jealous and this cycle goes on. So, no matter what the reason is for your jealousy, start healing yourself. Shower yourself with self-love, treat yourself with new things, explore new places, spend some quality time alone, and feel how beautiful you’re. Believe me, it’s gonna help you.

Groom Yourself

Self-grooming is another way to stop being jealous of seeing your boyfriend hang out with his friends. Most of the time when they get jealous, they tend to think whether they’re worthy of their boyfriend or not. They’re often reported to suffer from an inferiority complex in this situation. So if you’re also one of those, start grooming yourself in a way that you don’t even feel questioning yourself about your worthiness. Self-grooming will make you feel confident and building up your personality can help you to establish your point to your boyfriend.

Talk To Your Boyfriend

Women often avoid talking about their jealousy in front of their boyfriends. But this is exactly what they must not do. Look, he’s your partner and he deserves to know how you feel. So you should never avoid talking about it. Rather keep yourself calm and speak up.

Tell him how you exactly feel when he hangs out with his friends. Even if you think that he likes someone from that group or someone likes him, speak that out too. I often regret Judy’s decision of not talking to me about this. If she did it, maybe our relationship could sustain. 

Spend Time With Your Friends

If you get jealous when your boyfriend hangs out with his friends, you should also start spending time with your friends. It can help you in many ways. Firstly, it can distract your focus from your boyfriend, then it can help you to explore yourself, next you can actually realize that nothing is wrong in hanging out with friends, and most importantly your boyfriend will understand how it feels when the partner hangs out with her friends.

Consult A Professional

If nothing’s working for you what I mentioned above, perhaps you need to consult some professional. Look, it’s no shame to consult a professional to get over some severe relationship issue. Maybe you’re suffering from an inferiority complex due to some specific incident that happened to you before. Please don’t blame and punish yourself for just getting jealous. Be mature and consult some counselors. These days, they’re pretty popular and can really help you out. 

So hopefully, now you’ve mastered the art of handling jealousy. Again I want to mention that everything I talked about in the article is just some scientific speculation. In this context, self-evaluation is the ultimate key. Self-evaluation can help you to make decisions exactly according to your situation. So, learn to evaluate yourself first before following any method blindly. And never forget to shower yourself with self-love. 

Best of luck. Happy dating. 


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