What Does It Mean When My Boyfriend Doesn't Talk To Me Much?

Ahiri Chakraborty
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Relationships are like a fun roller coaster ride. You are too excited at the beginning, your heart thumps fast as soon as you sit on the ride. It slowly starts to take its pace and then it gives you a rush of blood. You scream out of fear, excitement, happiness and laugh your heart out when the ride finally gets over. And then you cherish those sweet moments and enjoy. It’s like an all in all package. 

But roller coaster is not only a fun experience only. It also has its peaks and valleys. I have often heard from couples saying The initial phase of the relationship has been super fun. However, down the line, it’s getting lost.”

Well, it’s quite a common phenomenon. But when you see couples rocking their relationships even after 15 or 20 years, you must be wondering “What’s keeping them so strong?”  The answer is not always only love, trust, and loyalty. 

Just like a delicious cake requires the right amount of ingredients, a relationship too needs a healthy mix of everything. But when you see the taste is not what you wanted, you need to check what did you put wrong or in the case of a relationship “What did you do wrong?”

I personally feel, a key element for a healthy and happy relationship is communication. And communication is just extremely powerful. It’s like a make-or-break situation for your relationship. So if you are at a stagnant stage of your relationship because your boyfriend is not talking to you properly or enough, you must be really going through a lot of stress.

You are probably thinking, is he bored with me or not interested in me anymore? So what does it mean when your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you much? He is too busy with his work. He is upset about your behavior. You broke his trust. He is slowly drifting apart from you. He takes you for granted. He is a quiet person by nature. He is thinking about his ex. Or he is going through a tough phase. 

When your boyfriend is not talking as much as he used to, there may be a thousand different reasons for that. Before coming to a conclusion and assuming always the negative side, let us first decode the reasons and the meanings of them.

Why Doesn’t Your Boyfriend Talk To You Much?

As human beings, we always tend to form judgments about others without going too deep. And when you’re in a relationship it becomes all the more important for a partner to understand one another needs and find a solution when a problem arises. Let’s look now find out why your boyfriend is not talking to you much.

#1 Your Boyfriend is Too Busy With his Work

Some people are workaholics by nature. They just love to work. If your boyfriend falls into this category, you can’t much complaint. Rather you need to understand from his point of view too. 

However, when your boyfriend doesn’t talk to you too much all of a sudden, he might be having too much pressure at his workplace. Perhaps a new project has come up with a tight deadline, or he is promoted and needs to handle a new team all alone. He is too occupied and is not getting enough time to talk to you. He is working even at his home till midnight.

You can understand that he is really having a busy schedule and can’t take out time to talk to you.

  • What Does it Mean?

So, when your boyfriend is devoting all his to work, is he neglecting you? Or his priorities have changed? Well, you need to look into many things.

Sometimes when you don’t have time, you have to make time. If you notice your boyfriend does not even talk to you during his breaks, or even on the weekends, probably, he is neglecting you. He is not putting his efforts into the relationship at all. 

Again, if you two are planning to get married or planning to move in together, both of you need good financial support. Maybe your boyfriend is prioritizing work at the time thinking for the future. 

#2 He Is Upset With Your Behavior

Boyfriends often don’t express themselves enough. They like to keep some feelings to themselves only and talking less to their girlfriends is one of their favorite weapons. 

If you have done anything to hurt him, he would probably talk less to you to show his anger or pain. Also, over time, if he starts talking to you less, probably he is deeply hurt by your behavior, and even after repeatedly saying to you, you have made the same mistake. 

Perhaps, you have lied to him, you have disrespected him or his family, you created unnecessary drama, you always fight with him for no bing reasons- all such behavior has led him to do this.

  • What does it mean?

Well, even after all your bad behavior, he is still with you, which means- He values the relationship and you. He definitely doesn’t want to leave you and that’s why he is giving you time to make up for your mistakes.

Also, by not talking to you he is showing how much upset he is. So that you understand and make changes in your behavior. 

#3 He Takes You For Granted

Some guys when they have been in a relationship for too long start taking the relationship for granted. Also, they start giving less importance to their girlfriend. Boyfriends feel that the girlfriends will stay with you forever and slowly you would notice that in their actions.

One of the prominent actions is that when they don’t talk too much. They forget that how much it’s necessary to communicate even if the relationship has been for 10 years. They feel talking is a redundant thing and hence avoid it. Believe me, this behavior only increases with time.

  • What does it mean?

Obviously, it means they are not very much into the relationship anymore. Unless he talks to his girlfriend enough how will he know what’s going on in your life, how are you feeling? Also, they start missing the little things and moments in your life since you two don’t get a chance to talk too much. 

This not only creates a communication gap but also creates the distance between you two. Clearly, it suggests that he is not valuing the relationship that much. 

#4 You Have Broken His Trust

Certain events in a relationship can have serious consequences. If you have broken the trust of your boyfriend by any means, then he is deeply hurt by you. He is heartbroken and that’s why he doesn’t talk to you much. 

He feels that talking will not help to rebuild the trust and refrains from it. He also feels the more he will talk to you, he will be more upset as it will keep reminding him about your deed. That’s why he reduces the amount of talking.

  • What does it mean?

It means that your boyfriend loves and values you a lot. But he never expected that you would ever break his heart. He doesn’t want to leave you because he loves you and wants you to stay, at the same time, he is worried about how to regain that trust.

He is also considering whether giving you another chance would be worthwhile as he does not want to be hurt once again. 

#5 He Is A Quiet Person

Your boyfriend is a quiet person. Now you may be wondering, “ But he did talk to me a lot during the initial days of the relationship”. Well, yes, he did talk to you. You two were always on the phone talking to each other.

Despite being a quiet person, he made sure to build the first stage of the relationship via communication. He talked to you to know more about you, to discover your true self. 

  • What does it mean?

Your boyfriend cares for you and that’s why he went out of his comfort zone and talked to you. However, owing to his nature he can’t talk a lot. But that does not mean any negative thing.

Rather, he is a great listener and will always do the right thing for you. He does value you and communication in your relationship. And when needed to talk more, he will definitely do that. It just means he puts extra effort to ensure that the relationship sails smoothly.

#6 Your Boyfriend Is Going Through A Tough Phase

If your boyfriend is facing a lot of troubles in his family or at his workplace regarding a serious issue, he will not talk to you much. He is under a lot of stress and he feels if he talks to you, he won’t be able to convey his thoughts properly.

He is afraid that he might show his frustration or disturbance of another thing in his life on you. And certainly, he is no mood to that. He wants this tough phase to pass as quickly as possible. For the time being, he is not talking to you much but he will surely be back on track like before.

  • What does it mean?

It means your boyfriend doesn’t want other things to create complications in your relationship. He wants to keep them separate and don’t bother you with those things. 

He puts his relationship at first and this is his way of protecting the relationship from unnecessary troubles. 

#7 He Thinks About His Ex

If your boyfriend had a long relationship before he met you or started dating you, or he had a painful breakup, he might talk less to you. This happens mostly for new couples.

He is thinking about his ex and is not talking to you much out of guilt. He knows since he is in a relationship, he must move on from the past one. But he can’t do it. 

He is still not over his ex or the painful experience of the previous relationship haunts him. He is going through a restless phase and is unable to communicate his words properly. That’s why he doesn’t talk to you much.

  • What does it mean?

He is taking time. He doesn’t want the past things to happen again. Also, by saying something wrong to you, he doesn’t want to hurt you.

Also, you need to keep in mind, if this continues for a long time, then he is not over his ex. You should address the issue and understand the status of the relationship. If you feel he is dating you out of obligation, you must come to a concrete conclusion. 

#8 He Is Slowly Drifting Apart From You

Don’t be surprised. Some guys just don’t have the guts to be upfront about their feelings and say the truth. So they adopt this technique. They slowly stop texting, calling and have minimal conversations with their partners.

Instead of telling, the boyfriend’s feel not talking to you much will give you a hint that he is slowly drifting apart from you and the relationship has reached a dead end. 

  • What does it mean?

For sure, he is not interested in you anymore. He is bored with you and wants to call it a day. He is intentionally doing it to create more gaps and more distance between you two so that you too will realize soon that the relationship has no meaning left to it anymore. 

What Should You Do If Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Talk To You Much?

If there is a will, there is a way too. If you love your boyfriend too much and want to be with him, you need to start talking to him more. Let’s look at some of the things that you should do. 

  • Talk about his favorite sports. Guys love sports and there’s no denying that. Start watching his favorite sport with him be it tennis, soccer, basketball, etc. Talk about the players, the game, the latest update. 
  • Address the problem. If he is going through a tough phase at his workplace, tell him that you understand. Try to give him a solution. Reassure him about his worth and capability. The more you will take his stress away, the more he will talk more.
  • Plan a trip together. Yes, relaxing together in a new place away from work and people, will give him a breather. He will enjoy the time and also talk to you more. 
  • Do some fun activities together. Go for river rafting, hiking, try go-karting or anything fun like these. He will open up once again and talk to you about being with you is so much fun. 
  • Watch some Netflix series together. If you have a new show recommendation, watch it with him. Later on, you two will be discussing the show and other things too will come up naturally.
  • Ignore him a little bit. When he will notice that you don’t text or call him like before, he will realize his mistake and start talking to you even more. 
  • Don’t nag him always. If he is busy with work, then give him that space. Let him understand that you respect his work. He too will start giving more time to you and talk to you more. 
  • Start a conversation about his childhood, school days, memorable trips, and his friends. He will be happy to see that you take a lot of interest in his life and you really want to discover every little detail about him. He will gladly share those memories with you and automatically you two will talk. 

Don’t take too much stress when it comes to your relationship. Start thinking rationally and take one step at a time. Having a clear conversation can solve a lot of issues similarly not talking the right amount can bring in some uncalled problems too.

But now you know, how to tackle them correctly. Once both of you are on the same page, every little problem will seem nothing to you. 

Be a powerful couple together and embrace the beauties of relationships. 


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