The Female Mind Control Handbook
Do guys care for words the way women do? Does it imply that they are angry, or have they lost their interest in you? Does their silence tell more about them, or does it tell more about your relationship with them?
A lack of communication does not imply a lack of connection. We have listed down the most popular and possible reasons why a guy stops talking to you suddenly.
Reasons He Is Not Talking To You Out Of The Blue
There can be multiple reasons why he is not talking to you, or something prevents him from conveying his thoughts and feelings. Is it because he is holding a grudge against you, or perhaps he is just looking for some lone time. Let's find out.
#1 He Is Looking For Some Me-Time
It is not only girls who need to be pampered and do things to spend some time with themselves. The most popular among them are visiting beauty parlors or going to the spa and shopping. This duration in their activities primarily focuses on their needs and pamper themselves.
While guys also go out for shopping, a spa session, or a haircut, they don't look upon such activities as alone time together. For them, it is more of a necessity. They do it simply because they got to do it. They are out of choice, which doesn't imply that they like doing it.
They spend minimum time carrying out and about these range of activities, while girls, on the other hand, spend the first two days planning, the next two days deciding which place would be a better choice and then an entire day in carrying it out.
Girls like to take their time. They don't want to make quick decisions. For guys, they enjoy such time when it comes to sports. But again, it is not a me-time because the spirit is collective and matches with the crowd.
Watching a game of cricket is not about how a guy feels about cricket; however, playing it pleases them. Yet again, they might not be getting that leisure as they spend their leisure hours with you.
Allow your guy the time he needs. Sometimes it gets too overwhelming. Allow him a weekend off. Tell him to spend some quality time with his friends, go to the club, go for a pool or poker game, gift him a spa ticket, show him that you are not obsessed with him in a way that you can't allow him his space.
Make him feel loved. Tell him that you cherish his presence even when he cannot spend time together because you know as does he that you two are meant for one another.
#2 He Is Taking Some Time Off For Introspection
While communication has gotten easier over the years, one has lost the means of self-connection. More often than most, we just carry on activities without paying much attention to the details. We do a thing in a particular way because we think it is meant to be done that way or simply because people around us are doing it in a likewise manner. We try to go with the flow and follow the trend.
However, we sometimes arrive at a juncture when we just want to pay attention to the details and figure out what we are doing or looking for. It is a great possibility that your guy is trying to take some time out for himself to grasp a better understanding of the happenstance and is, therefore, unable to exchange words with you.
Allow them their time. Be patient. Have faith. If he loves you, he will trace his way back to you. In the meantime, maybe you too can utilize this duration to figure out your future with him and work on your relationship goals.
If his silence bothers you a lot, try to analyze the reason behind it, and if it doesn't, then also try to understand that why do you find his silence comforting? Is it a marker of your strong bond, or do you too desire this break?
#3 His Pride Is Hurt
It is a well-known and somewhat acknowledged fact that men are egoistic by nature. Their reason for not talking to you might simply be that they want you to speak with them first. No matter how silly this might sound, remember, men are way less mature than women and ready to act like adults.
Break the ice and ask him if something is bothering him. Assure him that the two of you will find a way out of it together. Remind him that you are his partner and always available to support him. Win his trust back. Make him feel confident in you.
While trying to talk to him, try not to complain. Do not make him feel that it is difficult to establish a means of communication with him. Don't make personal statements. Instead, talk about things in general.
Talk for the sake of talking, and once he vibes with you, the communication shall be effortless like before. You can always ask him his take or his views on certain things. Offer him topics that can have multiple takes on them. Talk about weather, sports, movies, or politics. Don't talk about friends, office, relationships, or anything very personal. Get to the personal part later. Make him comfortable first.
#4 He Is Mad At You
There is a great possibility that he ignores you or doesn't write you back or spend days without talking to you because he is mad at you. No, it's not just us girls who can throw tantrums and get mad for little or no reason. Men have the right to want to be pampered too. He might just go on for days without talking to you because he wants you to keep up with their tantrums and find a way out of the same.
Offer him sweet tokens of love. Don't get mad at him in return. That would neither be a favor to him nor the two of you. If you both decide to get upset at each other, there will be no reconciliation. You can always express your feelings once you are back on track. But for the moment, love him.
Cook him his favorite dish. Wear his favorite dress. Buy him a present. Bake him a cake. Do simple and little things that shall make all the difference.
#5 He Is Having Doubts About The Two Of You
As long as the silence is momentary, it is fine. But the moment you realize it is going on for quite some time, it is serious. It can be that he is having doubts regarding your relationship, and hence he is taking his time out and away from you to figure things out.
It might be that he feels it is not working or that you two aren't meant for one another. He might have his grounds for thinking like this. It can be that he noticed specific changes in the scheme of things or your behaviors. It can also be that he will be moving out of the city and might not continue with the relationship any longer.
There can be various reasons for such doubts to surface. First of all, try to understand his grounds, then put yourself in his shoes and think what you would have done. If you feel what he is doing is the right thing to do, then admit it. That way, you will have a friendship to fall back to.
If you feel that how he is tackling the situation is not the right thing to do, then hold his hands and explain to him that. Explain to him how both of you can make it right. Explain why the ending is not the solution. Show him that there are better ways to manage the situation. And he will fall in love with you once more.
#6 He Is Keeping Busy
His silence can have a genuine reason. It might be that he is keeping busy at the office and gets too exhausted by the end of the day to communicate. He might be expecting and looking for a mutual understanding in such a case.
We all like to stay romantic and have a delightful verbal exchange conveying our fancies and fantasies for one another, but reality can't afford to feel left out and tries to catch up in the same breath. Observe and try to understand that he is occupied with some official work, and that does not mean that he loves you any less.
At times like this, he yearns for the magical friendship that kept you together and brought you so far. Extend your arm to offer friendship once again. Make your romance pragmatic. Show him that it can happen simultaneously. Show him that you truly care and understand.
#7 He Wants To Surprise You
There is a possibility that he is not talking to you because he is planning something big for you. This planning of giving you a surprise might be keeping him busy, or it might be that he is working on the time of surprise and working on it in such a way that it comes to you when you are least expecting it, keeping you occupied and absorbed in thoughts, trying to figure out why he was not communicating.
Or maybe simply because he can't keep things from you and he is scared that if he talks with you, then he will tell you about the surprise and then it will not be a surprise anymore.
It is our habit to overthink and stress out unnecessarily, and in the process, we freak out and take things the other way round. Have faith in your bond and allow him the time he needs. Sometimes only time knows the real answer.
#8 He Wants To See Your Reaction
Perhaps he is just playing a childish game with you and trying to see how you would react to it. Does his lack of communication irks you, and if it does not, then to what extent. Does it mean that you are wholly and madly in love with him or, are you just desperate and looking for attention?
Think and rethink before coming up with a reaction or shooting questions. Take your time just like he is taking his. There is no need to make haste. Understand the process. Take it slow.
At the end of it, you might either get a better understanding of how his mind works or a deeper insight into what you truly want. Either way, it will help you make it better and take it to the next level.
#9 He Is Hurt
Women speak a lot, and they say without giving it much thought. Men, on the other hand, weigh their words wisely and articulate them succinctly for proper delivery.
In the process of overspeaking, women tend to say things that they might not mean. But such things might hurt your guy and make them feel low. This might be a cause for their silence. In situations like these, try to retrospect and recollect your words and their effect.
Apologize in sweet notes when the time is right. Always remember, a formal note of apology is never called for. You must make them feel that you are really sorry without uttering it out loud to them. Be creative and thoughtful.
A hug is always magical! When you don't know what to say or how to react, just hold them close to you in your arms. Show them that you cherish their being, and you feel incomplete without them in your life.
When you get a chance, tell them that their silence creates an emptiness, a sudden void in your life, and you are scared to fall into the pit. Remind them that you love them with your all.
#10 He Is Not Much Of A Talker
It might simply be that it's you who are overthinking and not him. He might not be much of a talker, so he is silent. Maybe if you break the ice and come up with suggestions, they might participate.
Try to talk about a relative field of interest so that they have points to add to. You can always talk about your fondest moments together or simply give him a surprise by recreating that moment again.
Take him back to the land of love, allow him to rediscover its beautiful corners while holding you close. This might bring a clearer perspective to both of you, and you can see things in a better light than before.
#11 He Wants You To Miss Him
He wants you to desire him. He also wants you to show him that you desire him. He wants to play naught by keeping silent. He wants to see you yearn for him. Yes, men can be demanding too! And why not, though? It's your turn to take them on a crazy ride. Maybe this is the time to get kinky with him.
Engulf the silence with other types of silence. Show him that the silence that you offer is was more offering than his. Show him that he can never get enough of you. Love him every bit. Make him make love to you multifold.
Reverse the play and dissipate the tension in a fun and romantic way. If you have romance, you won't need words. You can talk your heart out after clearing the rising tension. Like that, he shall miss you even with his eyes closed.
#12 He Does Not Care For Communication
He is not talking because he doesn't want to talk. He just wants to be with you. Share his whole and soul, but in silence. He will offer you his love, stay for the night, send you cards and flowers, take you to the movies, listen to you. He is so engrossed in the essence of you that he finds himself whole and complete when with you.
It does not even occur to him that his silence is irking you. And that's okay. Love him for his actions, not his words. Love him for the way he keeps your name on his lips, not for other trivial reasons. Love him for the way he loves you, and you will love him right, and the silence shall fall in love with the two of you.
#13 He Takes You For Granted
That's folly mankind has always made. They are taking for granted. Be it people or objects or career or their peace of mind. That's in the essence of being human. If you feel your guy is keeping silent because he has taken you for granted for a short while, stop doing their daily chores or sending them those routine texts.
Take a break from all the routine activities that you perform for them. Sooner or later, it will dawn upon them that they cannot and must not take you for granted. They will break the silence and make their way back to your sweet abode with heartwarming gestures.
#14 He Is Cheating On You
Want to accept it or not, your guy might be seeing someone else or might have cheated on you, and now they feel too guilty either to confess or to continue the lie. It might have happened in the spurn of the moment. It does not imply that he doesn't love you, he didn't break up with you, he is just too guilty to face you.
In such situations, it is important that you don't lose your calm and composure. If you can't forgive him and if you have always been way too honest in your relationship, if such a thought of cheating or dating someone else never crossed your mind, if you never even virtually had a conversation with someone else in the same line, then confront him and call it off yourself. If not, then wait for him to confess.
Sooner or later, they will open up to you. Give them that time. When they do, take it slow. Understand that to err is human and acknowledge the fact even if it hurts you. Trust me. It hurts him too.
#15 He Wants To Call It Off
He decided that he cant continue it with you any longer. He might have many reasons for making his decision. Maybe he is not getting from you what he was looking for, or maybe he is not being able to offer you what you truly want. Due to this, he has decided to call it off.
He is just unable to either gather the courage to convey it, or he just doesn't want to convey it. He might be thinking that it is mutual, and you two can break up without making a verbal statement. Maybe he wants to cherish the niceties and skip the unpleasant parts that come along with the relationship.
Now it is up to you how you want to take it. Do you want closure? Do you really want to know the reason why it failed? Can there really be a proper answer to it? Or do you feel the same way, too, and move on in the same manner? Make your call and make the conduct, just don't let him get on your nerve, and don't lose yourself in the process. He values his peace, don't you too?
#16 He Doesn't Find You Compatible
Change is a part of life, and personalities are dynamic. Nothing is really fixed. It might be that the two of you found each other compatible at the start of the relationship, but the equation has taken a turn over the years.
You neither share your interests nor an understanding anymore. Believe me; there cannot be a better reason to keep the lips sealed and reject the offering of words. He has assumed that you won't understand, or worse, he knows he won't be able to make you understand. He has no words to offer, and hence he let the silence dwell.
#17 He Has Relationship Phobia
He is scared of making commitments, and he can see that you are getting either too attached or too demanding, or too serious. In such a situation, loosen the grip a bit. Do not panic, do not create panic. Try to move at his pace. Slow down a bit and instead of keeping up with your demands, try to understand him.
#18 He Is The Submissive One
Yes, that might just be it. He doesn't have that dominant personality. He is an introvert. You will have to put in special efforts to decode his silence, and you will have to do it without making it a big brother. With time, you two together can work on your communication skills to make the relationship function better.
What Should You Do When He Is Not Talking To You?
- Be Patient. Just allow him some time and trust the process. Time will put things into place one way or another.
- Recall your actions and your words. Ask yourself if you did something lately that might have hurt him. It might also be that you forget something crucial, maybe his birthday or some important day that you forgot to wish him.
- Control Your Emotions and Not Let Your Emotions Control You. Don't get too impulsive or emotional and attack him with your words. You can handle the situation tenderly with love and care.
- Express Your Emotions. Make gestures instead of using words to express your emotion. It is very much probable that the reaction will be favorable.
- Recreate Fond Memories it's my promise that recreating fond memories will be of great assistance to both of you. Sometimes all we need is a reminder.
- Do Things That Brings Him Happiness. Little things make the most difference. Gift him such little tokens of pleasure, and you need not do anything more.
What Should You Avoid Doing When He Is Not Talking To You?
- Do Not Make Abrupt Assumptions. Try to arrive at conclusions rather than jumping at them. Give the process its time and take it slow.
- Do Not Pester Them. Nagging your guy won't be productive. If he doesn't want to talk, then acknowledge it and stay calm.
- Do Not Break Into a Fight. Breaking into a fight will only make it worse. Your aim is to find a solution, not to create more problems.
- Do Not Stop Trusting Them. Don't steal him of your trust at a go. Have faith in him, in your choice, and in this relationship.
- Do Not Stop Loving Them. Never make him feel that you don't love him anymore. Remember, the relationship is about connection, not communication.
Give time some time, and everything will be alright. Keep calm, don't lose your temper; it is not worth it. Sooner or later, you will get closure.