The Female Mind Control Handbook
How Often Should you Communicate and see each other in a Long Distance Relationship?
Let’s start with an honest confession. Relationships are not easy. They look beautiful and perfect when Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fall in love in Sleepless in Seattle but in reality, it’s not as easy as it seems.
On top of that, if it’s a long-distance relationship, the hurdle just doubles up. On the one hand, you have to put in consistent efforts to keep your relationship steady and on the other, you have to accept the harsh truth of distance. It can get tiring.
But when it comes to love, we only listen to our hearts. It doesn’t matter to us whether you and your partner are going to be away from each other. In the end, the heart wants him/her no matter the distance, no matter what. Right?
And believe me, when it’s with the right person, all relationship works be it an LDR or a normal one.
People have often asked me how much should one talk to their partner or see when they are in an LDR? Well, there is no perfect answer to that. Every relationship is unique in its own way. Every couple deals with distance in a different way. And there are no hard and fast rules for a relationship either. Eventually, it’s the two of you who make it or break it.
However, LDR requires a little bit more extra effort and commitment from both partners. Since largely the communication is technology-based and there is no actual meeting with your partner or lack of physical presence, many couples are afraid of LDRs. And this fear has often led to the failure of an LDR.
So, how often should you communicate with each other in an LDR? Talking every day to each other is important in an LDR to keep yourself updated about your partner’s life. Also, daily communication helps to avoid many problems. But if talking daily is difficult, then thrice a week is the best way. Weekends are also great to catch up with your LDR partner.
Now let’s talk about how often should you see each other in an LDR? Seeing your partner depends on their location and other factors. Once in two months is great if you two can manage. But for couples living a thousand miles apart, quarterly visit works for most couples in LDR.
Once again, there is no specific time frame for anything. There are many aspects to an LDR. and every couple should adopt their own routines and habits to maintain a happy, healthy and long-term relationship.
Why Is It Important To Communicate Often In An LDR?
As cliche as it may sound, communication is key to any relationship. So it is very important to communicate with your partner effectively. In an LDR, it gets all the more important because you two can’t meet for obvious reasons. Hence you need to talk to your partner as often as possible.
It is good to talk with your partner daily when you’re in an LDR. Just casual morning calls before leaving for the day, texting some cute messages during the day, and sharing your life at the end of the day with your partner, can keep the relationship really smooth.
With regular communication, you both will be on the same page. You will know what’s happening in your partner’s life, any important information about their studies, career, jobs, or family. This way you will feel less distant from your partner.
See, for any relationship physical presence and intimacy are an integral part. But an LDR lacks that. So talking with your partner every day is the only way to fill up that gap.
And now with video calls, Facetime, Whatsapp; calling and texting have become really easy. You don’t need to send a text every minute or call every hour. But just talking every day even for an hour and sharing the little details of your lives, makes the distance seem really close.
However, with busy schedules, different time zones, couples fail to communicate with their partners often. Here are a few tips to communicate with your LDR partner.
- Know each other’s schedules:
Once both you’ve settled down in the new cities or sometimes countries after you’ve moved there, you must know what’s your day is gonna look like. You know when your college starts, when you have your lunch break, you know your office timings, how much time it takes for you to come back from work, etc. So as soon as you know your daily routine and let your partner know that too. When they know you have your classes from 9 a.m to 11 a.m straight, they won’t call you or expect a call from you.
This way there will be fewer problems as both of you know that your partner is actually occupied at this time. So there will be no unnecessary expectations.
- Facetime whenever possible:
You’ve to take out time from your schedule and make time for your partner. Never let your busy schedules or anything else come into your way and your partner. And there’s nothing better than Facetiming each other.
Video calls do give that feel, that your partner is just one screen away from you. So facetime your partner whenever you’re free or whenever it’s possible.
A morning’s facetime is quite effective as it reminds your partner that you think of them as soon as you wake up. So instead of sending just a Good Morning text, Facetime them for a few minutes.
Again, after both of your day is done, come back home and facetime each other. Share what happened in your college or at your work over a video call as it’s more effective than texting. Video calls let you see your partner’s expression and emotion and there are fewer chances of misinterpreting them.
- Let them feel Important:
Suppose, you have been selected for the internship that you really wanted. Let your partner be the first person to know about this important update of your life. They should not know this by any friend of yours or by seeing a social media post.
If you send them just a message or tell him/her that “ I have something interesting to share with you”, they will feel really special. They will realize, even though there is a distance between you two, but you don’t miss an opportunity to make your partner feel important.
- Share pictures:
You don’t need to talk to him/her 24*7 and honestly, that isn’t even possible. Instead, you can share pictures which is another sweet way of communication. You can send a picture of yours sitting in your class. Send them pictures of the recent clothes or foods you bought online.
Share pictures of your local surrounding, anything interesting you found on the road, or just anything you feel worth sharing with your partner. Your partner will feel a part of your daily life when you do so. They won’t feel sad that you’re away from him/her.
Also, sharing pictures to some extent helps in building more trust. Your partner will have no unnecessary doubts when he/she sees you share with them cute pictures and they don’t have to see your social media to see your life updates.
- Spend the weekends together:
For LDR couples, weekends are the only thing they look forward to the most. Obviously, you have the full day to yourself and there’s no college or work. So make sure to spend a lot of time together speaking on a weekend. Share with them some funny stories, about the friends you’ve made, the new employee who joined your office, the presentation goof-up you made in a meeting.
Let them feel like that you two are sitting across from each other and just talking about everything. Do your household chores but keep them with you on a video call. It would seem as if you two are actually a lazy, relaxing weekend together.
- Plan date nights:
I know, it can seem impossible. But it is doable, believe me. I’m sure you and your girlfriend or boyfriend have some common favorite Netflix series or movies. Pick a Saturday or a Sunday, or mayday both of you’re going to be free.
Play your favorite movie on Netflix and order the same food for each other. Facetime your Bae and watch the movie together. Pause the movie and discuss it to get the real feeling of watching together.
I know, this can’t totally replace the actual feeling, still, you two will definitely enjoy these virtual date nights with each other.
Sometimes, just texting or calling and sharing your daily life can get monotonous. But when you do plan such fun activities together, it helps keep the spark alive.
- Make them a part of your life virtually:
It would have been amazing if you could spend the birthdays, the weekends, the parties altogether. But thanks to this dreadful distance as this seems next to impossible. Well, it’s not totally.
You two still can be together virtually. If this Friday night you have a party at a friend’s house, call your LDR partner from the party. Introduce him/her to your friends, show him/her the house, the food, etc. No, you don’t need to be glued to your phone and text him/her every single detail.
But just a quick video call while you’re chilling with your friends, will really cheer up their mood. They won’t feel lonely or won’t feel that you’re having an amazing time without him/her. It will show them that you miss him/her and wished that he/she could be present with you.
- Pick up activities together:
Sometimes, LDR couples find it hard what to talk about. They run out of topics. So what to do in a situation like this? Pick some hobbies or activities together like watch the same series, or read the same book. So that both of you can discuss that.
Both of you can learn something new like a language, baking, cooking, pottery anything under the sun that you two have interests in. That way, you can share your individual experiences, funny stories, etc.
This will surely cut down the monotony in both of your lives and you’ll always have some exciting things to talk about.
With these communication tips, you and your LDR partner will feel as close as possible. Just a small reminder, communicating every day does not mean being on the phone always or checking up on them every minute. It’s more about sharing your lives as much as possible with your partner so that the distance never comes your way.
Why Is It Important To See Each Other In An LDR?
Let me ask you, would you ask the same question to a close-distance relationship couple? No, right? It’s the obvious thing. You want to see your partner, you want to spend with them, you want to be with them.
But in an LDR, this is the hardest part. Yes, virtual dates, Facetimes are all great. But that feeling of touching your partner’s hands while walking down the road, or sharing a laugh over a cup of coffee, or just the excitement of getting ready to meet your partner, are just incredible.
And you don’t get to live that part in an LDR. That’s why it becomes all the more important to see each other in LDR to make up for all these missed moments.
When you see each other, you get to spend time together. You get to do all the activities together that you’ve been doing virtually. These meetings make the relationship stronger, help to build more connections between you two, wipes away any kind of negativity like jealousy, possessiveness, insecurities, trust issues, etc, helps to build more trust, and definitely reinstills that love.
But How Often Should You See Your LDR Partner?
It totally depends on your location, your line of work, your time, etc. However, if you two are in different cities but in the same country, try to meet your partner once a month at least. The more the merrier depending on your schedule and budget.
For college students, once a month is fine and even sometimes once in two months totally work. However, if you two are separated from each other for your jobs, then make it once a month. And surprise your Bae with a sudden visit in the middle of the month.
For couples living in two different countries, it becomes quite difficult. Not only the schedule becomes a problem but the ticket price as well. So you can meet each other on a quarterly basis or once in six months.
Although there are couples who meet each other only once a year because of this huge distance, it is good if you two can meet twice a year minimum.
How To Plan Meeting Your Partner In An LDR?
Both of you should have a plan at the beginning. Once you know what your routine is gonna look like, take out the calendar and mark the week that you have holidays.
Then you two coordinate your dates with your vacations and plan ahead. In this way, both of you are aware of a timeframe. And this waiting will keep you really excited for the whole time.
Also, not only your routines, you must look into your budgets. Never put pressure on your partner if they’re unable to meet you.
Both of you should save up and maintain a separate account for that. So that whenever there is a holiday or a long weekend, you two can actually meet and utilize that time.
Also, a sudden birthday visit or an anniversary visit is just too cute. If you have the time and the money, make sure to surprise your Bae on their special day.
If you plan ahead with your partner, seeing each other becomes quite easy.
Now When The Time Has Finally Come To Meet Your Partner,How Should You Spend Time With Him/Her?
Once again, I have some awesome tips to make the most of your time with your LDR boyfriend/girlfriend.
- Walk around the city. Your place will be a new experience for your partner and vice versa. So wherever you two meet, make sure to take your partner to all your favorite spots in this city. Walk around in the local areas, eat some street food together, explore the nooks and corners of the streets, visit the local parks. This is a great way to know where your partner lives, what is the lifestyle of that place etc. It will give you a sneak-peak into their lives.
- Celebrate your missed birthdays and anniversaries. Yes, it’s pretty common to not celebrate your birthdays and anniversaries on time when in an LDR. but you can do that when you meet. So buy yourselves cake, good food, and wine. Set up a romantic night together and celebrate all your special moments together. It’s better late than never, isn’t it?
- Plan a trip together. There’s nothing like waking up to beautiful sunrise with your Bae beside you. Going on a trip together will give you that “live-in” relationship kinda feeling for a brief period. Well, you shouldn’t miss that. Make a short trip with your partner to the nearest hill station or sea beach. Stay together, explore the new place, take some good pictures, talk your heart out, go hiking, make breakfast for your partner. Just do everything that you would have done for your partner if there was no distance.
- Make him/her meet your friends. He/she has only been listening to your friends, but now is the perfect time to take your partner and meet with your friends. You can have dinner parties at home. Your partner will get to see all your friends in real life and bond with them. This will help to have more trust in you because they would know that you’re serious about them and you aren’t afraid to show that to the world.
So, you can actually make your LDRs work, in the right way. And if both of you’re sure about each other and are committed, then the distance will neer stand as an obstacle.
And we can’t deny the fact that “Distance makes the heart grow fonder”.