The expectations in a relationship are never-ending. Sometimes it can be the tiniest thing like when your partner remembers your favorite flavor of ice cream, gets you chocolate on your low day. And there are big expectations too, like planning a surprise trip, proposing to you, telling you to move in together and many more.
Birthdays become a little too special when you’re in a relationship. You wait for your partner to wish you the first, you wait for a surprise birthday gift hoping that he would get you the things that have been on your wishlist for a long time. Or probably he will read your mind and get you a very unique gift which will make you speechless.
But some things feel certainly off when you don’t get a birthday gift from your boyfriend. You can ignore the fact he does not even buy you a gift for any other occasions like Valentines’ day, Christmas, or your anniversary. But birthdays are important days in your life.
So when you do not receive a birthday gift from the most important person in your life, you are bound to be sad. But more than that, surprised.
So, why does your boyfriend never buys you gifts even on your birthday?
There may be various reasons here are some of those:
- Your birthday is not special for him.
- He does not believe in exchanging gifts.
- He does not like to spend on you at all.
- Another reason can be that you’ve disliked his gifts before and hence he stopped giving.
- Or he isn’t serious about you.
It is really difficult to understand sometimes what’s going in someone’s mind. However, their actions can give you some insights and you can have an idea.
Are Gifts Important In A Relationship?
Relationships consist of many little parts. From building trust to compromising understanding each other, giving each other support, it takes a lot of effort, loyalty, commitment, trust, and communication to make a relationship successful.
So you may ask, then gifts are not necessary right? No, you are wrong. Gifts are necessary. It needs not be a trip to NYC or a diamond ring, but gifts are an essential part of a relationship.
Gifts are a small gesture to show your partner that you care about her, you know her preferences, you noticed what she was craving for another day, what she is dying to get. Gifts are like putting your thought on your partner and giving them a part of yourself.
Suppose, you noticed that your girlfriend’s purse has been torn a little bit yet she has been using the same. She does not have the time to buy a new purse for her. So you bought her a new purse and gave her when you met her the next day. Won’t she feel special? Won’t she feel loved? Yes, she will.
She will know that you actually observed her, paid attention to her and you understood what she needed at that time.
So do not equalize gifts with monetary value. You don’t have to buy expensive things for your girlfriend, but just getting her a little something of her choice would show that you care for her and you put effort into her.
Also, giving gifts is one of the love languages of the five love languages. So it definitely is a huge part of your relationship especially you like receiving gifts.
Now, let’s explore the various reasons and check out why does not your boyfriend buy you any gift even on your birthday?
Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Never Buys You Any Gift Even On Your Birthday
You can do without not getting a gift from your birthday. But when it’s your boyfriend, certainly your expectations are high and you want something special. So when your expectations are crushed, you will obviously question your boyfriend. However, asking such sensitive questions can lead to even more unwanted situations and can make things pretty bad.
So before assuming a thousand different things and stressing yourself out, let’s look at the real reasons.
- You and your boyfriend are in a new relationship:
Couples often don’t want to invest themselves emotionally during the first few days of the relationship. So investing in gifts seems quite redundant for such boyfriends.
When you two have been in a relationship only for days or a maximum of a month, you two are still exploring each other. You two dates each other for a while and decided to be in a relationship. But you two are not yet sure where the relationship is headed to?
So, in cases like this, often the boyfriend would refrain from giving you any kind of gift. And if by chance your birthday falls on the very first month of the relationship, then chances are even less.
He is not sure about you yet and he does not want to give you any false hope by making you feel special. Giving a birthday gift can lead you to think of various romantic fantasies with your boyfriend for which he is not prepared. Thus, he never buys you any gift.
- Your birthday is just another day for your boyfriend:
Some boyfriends are just too casual in their attitude. They are too careless to care about you and your birthday. They will defend themselves by saying “Birthdays are normal. Everyone grows up every year and there’s nothing extraordinary about it”.
While your boyfriend’s logic and his practicality may piss you off, he is not gonna shift his mindset. He will definitely wish you. He will also post stories on Instagram and Facebook. He even may write a sweet little romantic for you on your birthday. But buying you a birthday gift is a “no-no” for him.
Even if you expect a gift from him madly or you have clearly expressed your wish for having a birthday gift, he still won’t pay heed to you.
- Your boyfriend does not like to spend:
Well, there are miser people and it is unfortunate that your boyfriend is one of them too. So basically your boyfriend does not like to spend money out of his pocket. And it does not matter to him whether it’s for his girlfriend or for her birthday. There are certain cases where you need to spend some money even if your money is very dear to you.
But, who would tell that to your miser boyfriend? If you notice that you are the one who always pays when you go on a date with your boyfriend, you always buy him something or the other but he never opens his wallet in front of you. Then surely he will never buy you a gift even if it’s your birthday.
- Your boyfriend does not believe in gifts:
Many people do not believe in materialistic gifts. Your boyfriend can be like that. For him, small gestures matter a lot when it comes to making his girlfriend feel special or keeping the spark alive in the relationship.
So, you will see that your boyfriend is very caring, he calls you, he remembers the little things about you. But he never buys you any physical gift. For him gifts are more like paying attention to what you say, spending quality time with you, watching your favorite movie with you on a couch.
But he will never do something extravagant like buying an expensive gift or sending you exotic flowers and chocolates. He is just not that kind of a person.
- You’ve disliked your boyfriend’s gifts before:
Even boyfriends and girlfriends can have different tastes when it comes to gifts. Perhaps, your boyfriend used to buy you gifts, but you’ve always criticized or said that you did not like the gift a lot. Then certainly your boyfriend was upset with that.
He is hurt and hence he has stopped you from buying any gifts. He is afraid that you would once again end up disliking his gift or exchange that with other gifts or even never use it.
Simply to avoid all such confusion he has stopped buying you gifts.
One of my friends, Amy had a similar situation with her boyfriend. Jake her boyfriend was a sweet guy and always gifted her some cute things. Even on her birthdays, he would buy her something unique.
However, Amy had a very specific taste, and her aesthetics never matched with Jake’s. Once Jake bought her a dress in a maroon color and Amy bluntly told him that she does not like the color of the dress. She went to the store with him and exchanged the dress.
Again, when Jake gifted her necklace on her birthday, she never wore it. Jake understood that she did not like it. After a certain point, Jake stopped buying gifts for her completely.
- Your boyfriend feels you’re too demanding:
If you’re the kind of girlfriend who always wants something from her boyfriend then chances are that after some time your boyfriend will be really annoyed with your behavior.
He would start thinking you don’t love him but you only love his gifts. That’s why you always tell him directly or indirectly to buy things for you. You show him your wishlist, what your friends got, what did your friend’s boyfriend give on his birthday just to let him know that secretly you want all those things for yourself.
So, he is tired of this behavior of yours and to teach you a lesson, he does not buy you a gift not even on your birthday.
- Your boyfriend does not take this relationship seriously:
Buying gift is not only spending money. It’s about thinking about what your partner likes, what she dislikes, putting thought behind her gift, spending time looking for the perfect one.
But when your boyfriend is casually dating you and he has no plan to make it a serious relationship soon, then would he do all such things? Never. He certainly does not have the time to think about you that much.
He will take you to dates, click fancy photos with you. But buying anything special for your birthday would not even come to his mind for a single moment. He would rather spend that much time partying with his friends rather than buying you something.
The relationship is only a casual one for him even though you might be quite interested in him.
- Your boyfriend is going through a financial crisis:
Money can be a problem even in a relationship if you think practically. If your boyfriend has lost a job or is trying to get a job, chances are that he won’t buy you a gift even if it’s your birthday.
When he is facing some financial issues, he would spend only on the essential things. He would rather invest in a course where he can learn or try to go to a new place for a better job prospect.
Buying gifts for you at this moment would only be an unnecessary expenditure for him. So that’s why he won’t buy you a gift even if it’s your birthday.
- Your boyfriend is thinking to end the relationship:
If your boyfriend used to buy you gifts and now he has stopped, then there has been something wrong. Perhaps you two have gone through a rough patch and he is on the verge of ending the relationship.
He still has not found the right moment to tell you the truth but he is already in the process. He has mentally prepared himself and hence also does not buy you any gifts on your birthday as well. He wants to show you that he does not care about you anymore and he won’t like to spend his money or mind on buying you gifts.
Giving you gifts only makes the relationship unnecessarily prolonged which he clearly is not wishing for.
What Should You Do When Your Boyfriend Never Buys Gifts For You?
- Handle the situation practically. If your boyfriend is going through a financial problem, never force him or let him know that you want a gift from him. You need to understand his situation as well.
- Tell him your expectations. Expecting a birthday gift from your boyfriend is not demanding at all. So ask him why he did not give you and tell him that his actions hurt you.
- Buy him more thoughtful gifts. You need to show him that you don’t think twice while spending for him. Even though he does not buy you gifts you always give him things he likes.
- Keep your hopes lower. Do not assume that he will get you something special on your birthday. If you keep your hopes lower you won’t be hurt that much.
- Observe where he spends his money. If you see your boyfriend spending money on everything but not on your gifts, then look carefully and finally have an open conversation with him.
- Analyze the nature of your relationship. If you two are dating casually then your boyfriend will not buy you gifts. So do not stress out so much. Rather clear yourself out about the status of your relationship.
- Talk to him about his ideologies on gifting each other. As mentioned earlier, many boyfriends don’t like the idea of gifting. So, before being upset and fighting with him, talk about this important issue to know each other’s point of view when it comes to gifts.
Should I Tell Him That I Want Gifts On My Birthday?
A relationship should be inhibition-free. It should be a comfortable space for both of you where you two can share each other’s feelings easily and freely.
So, if your boyfriend’s actions are hurting you, you must communicate that to him. Tell him that birthdays are special for you and you expect a gift from your partner.
But you should also respect your partner’s choice and decision. If he feels gifts are unnecessary and he believes in soul connection than material gifts, it’s your responsibility to understand his perception.
Also, forcing your boyfriend to gift you can never a relationship sustain. Let the flow be natural. If he is willing, he will get the best gift for you no matter what.
Should I Break Up With My Boyfriend As He Never Buys Me Gifts On My Birthday?
Don’t make gifts such an important part of your relationship that it leads to a breakup. Yes, it can be an issue but it can be solved too. You two need to open up, put forth your thoughts, and reach a middle ground.
But if you have genuinely invested in your boyfriend but he is only dating you casually, then you won’t get a gift from him ever. So you might want to have a conversation about the future of your relationship and if you find that he does not want it to be long-lasting, then ending it can be an option.
Being with that guy would only mentally exhaust you because you would know that there is no next step in this relationship.
Gifts don’t make or break a relationship. But efforts do. And buying gifts is just another way of expressing your love. It acts as a memory for the two of you in the long run. You think about the special moment and cherish that.
So, let gifts be an expression of love to your partner.
When both of you are serious about each other, you can start gifting each other from the first month of the relationship. You can buy for the first month’s anniversary or celebrate your first date’s memory by buying a gift for your partner.
Absolutely not. It is normal to expect gifts from a relationship. It is a way of appreciating and expressing your love for your partner. So there is nothing wrong with it.
Yes, girls love getting gifts from their boyfriends. She understands that her boyfriend really cares for her and puts effort into her. It makes her feel special and she appreciates her boyfriend even more.