What Should I Do When My Boyfriend Prioritizes His Friends Over Me?

If your boyfriend prioritizes his friends over you, then allow him some space and appreciate the fact that he is a responsible friend who values and understands the significance of every relationship. That way, his friends will also look up to you respectfully, and so will your boyfriend.
Medha Sureka
a woman sitting beside a window and thinking about her boyfriend
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It is perfectly alright if there are days when your guy is spending more time with his friends. Always remember that before becoming your boyfriend, he was their friend. Also, your relationship is rooted in friendship too. 

There might be days when you suddenly feel that your guy is not keeping a check on you or texting you frequently. He might even be missing on some dinner dates with you because he is out with his friends playing pool or watching a game. 

On days like this, you should try to appreciate that he values his friendship. There might be a good number of reasons for him to prioritize his friends over you. It does not imply that he loves you any less. Let us figure out the possible causes of a potential imbalance of the equation and how it can be balanced only to make all the relations sweeter and beautiful.

Why Is Your Boyfriend Prioritizing His Friends Over You?

While there can be a significant number of possible reasons, if your boyfriend has been prioritizing his friends over you for quite some time, then it is highly likely that his friend is in some deep trouble and has sought your boyfriend's help.

#1 It's A Birthday Bash, And They Are In A Jolly Mood

Your guy might be taking a week off from you because it is the birthday of one of his friends, and the entire group has decided to celebrate it together away from their girls.

In situations like this, appreciate the boundaries and space and give him his week off. However, you can always ask him to keep you aware of his plans beforehand so that you are at ease too.

#2 It's The Big Match Night

His favorite team is playing, and guys go nuts on nights like this. They forget to eat and drink. While you think that he is ignoring you, he might just be enjoying the match with his group.

Keep a note of his favorite teams and drop sweet texts to remind him that it's time to grab something to eat.

#3 His Friend Had A Break-Up

His friend is having a hard time because he recently had a break-up and needs your boyfriend for some emotional support. In times like this, help your guy figure out how he can help his friend overcome the pain. Try not to call him while he hangs out with this heartbroken friend, as it will only remind the guy about his girlfriend.

You can plan a little surprise for your boyfriend's friend. It will be appreciated by both of them and strengthen your relationship all the same.

#4 His Friend Is Unwell

It might be that your guy is prioritizing his friend over you because his friend is not keeping well. You should be proud of him for assisting and caring for his friend in such a manner. It is the true sign of being a gentleman. 

From your side, you can assist him with supplies of medicine and home-cooked food. In that way, you will automatically get a chance to spend more time with him.

#5 His Friend Is In Some Deep Trouble

It might simply be that his friend has made some mischief and needs the assistance of his friend-cum-brother. If you are interested in knowing what kind of problem he had put himself into, then you can always ask your boyfriend to share it with you. Tell him in advance that you won't judge him or his friends on this note. Express your curiosity and your desire to help them out of trouble in any way you possibly can.

#6 He Is Keeping A Secret From You

Prioritizing his friends over you might just be an excuse to foil the secret he has been keeping from you. It might be something trivial or something nasty. However, instead of wasting your energy figuring it out yourself, it is better to take him in your confidence and let him reveal it to you.

If it hurts you, then take your time off before giving a reaction. Keep yourself in his shoes and try to ascertain what you would have done in such a case.

#7 He Is Planning A Surprise For You

Sit with the calendar to see if any special occasion is around the corner. The sudden silence or ignorance before the big day might be because he wants to make it huge. If there is such a day, keep your calm and wait to see how it will be.

#8 He Wants A Break From You

He lacks the courage to tell you straight, or he thinks it might sound rude, and he might hurt your feelings. He might just want some time off you to enjoy life independently.

There is nothing wrong with it. Remember that phase when we would like to hang out with our friends more than spend time with our parents? Does that mean we don't love them? It simply means we want to do something out of the regular. You are his common. You are his need. He just wants to indulge himself in something different for some time.

#9 He Wants To Call It Off

He feels like it is not working and wants to call it off without speaking. If you share his feeling, then step back. If you think you are meant to be together, remind him of that.

One can have doubts about relationships. We all have felt at some time in our childhood that our parents adopted us from somewhere and don't love us for real. No matter how much we grow up, our devilish mind does not stop playing their nasty game with us.

If you love him, then allow him some time off. If it is accurate and strong, he will trace his steps back to you.

#10 He Is Tired Of You

No matter how much we love the other person, it is never enough. One gets exhausted eventually if they feel that efforts are one-sided and the other is always busy throwing tantrums.

If it occurs to you that it might be your case, too, then just flip the roles for a while. Show him that you love him and are in this together.

#11 He Feels That You Spend More Time With Your Friends

He likely feels the same way for you, which motivates him further to keep on with such negligent behavior. Do not act childish in such cases. Remind him that you always keep him on top of the list, and his name is always on the tip of your tongue even when you are lounging out with your friends.

#12 He Takes You For Granted

If you feel that your boyfriend is taking you for granted, then take a break from all the things you love doing for him. Let him experience his world without you. If his love is true, then he will come back to you with a note of apology and regain trust and respect.

How To Balance The Equation?

You don't get into a tug war with your boyfriend. He is your man, and you are dealing with fragile connections, which include the most invested emotion. In matters of hearts, it is always advisable to take things slowly so that everything runs smoothly and falls into place, taking its due course in time.

It is never wise to create panic or make a fuss out of the whole situation. To balance the equation, you need to calmly communicate and express your feelings to your boyfriend.

Here are a few ways of balancing.

#1 Allow His Some Time Alone

If he is looking for some time away from you, so be it. There is no need to overthink or overreact to this. Where's the fun if you spend all your time together and leave no space for yearning and missing each other?

#2 Don't Be Obsessed With Him

Do not make him feel like he has become your drug. Drugs can bring you the utmost pleasure, but it is always regarded as unhealthy. Show him that if he can spend his time away from you, then so can you. 

#3 Check On Him From A Distance

You can take notes, keep a check of his social handles, do a background study of his friends in the time he is staying away from you. In that way, you will get to know him better. With you, he behaves the way you would want him to act. Away from you, he is more of his natural self. Observe and learn and take your relationship ahead accordingly.

#4 Make Friends With His Friends

Invite his friends over for dinner. Spend collective time together. If you know his group and they feel comfortable with you and grow fond of you, then they will not call your guy names and tease him for wanting to spend all his time with you. They will look up to you as a couple which in turn will make your bond meaningful and unique.

#5 Call His Friend For Clubbing Together

Show your guy and his friends that you are fun to be around. Don't put yourself like a jealous woman. Nobody likes it, not even you. If they enjoy your company, your guy can easily ask you to join him for the weekend and go clubbing together.

#6 Plan An Outing With His Group

Spending only a few hours together is primarily superficial and formal. Plan for a weekend together to know his friends and how he behaves when spending time with them. This will give you a clear idea of how your man is around people who likely know him better than you do.

#7 Have Sex With Your Boyfriend

If you haven't make-out recently, then that is where the fire is lacking. Take no time. Plan it out. Text him something sexy. Show him that you want him bad. A little make-out every now and then keeps things under control and warm.

Tip: Try new things when you are making out. Make sure that both of you enjoy it. Do it the way you have never done it before.

#8 Plan A Romantic Dinner

If your boyfriend is not prioritizing you, then all he needs is some pampering. Give him a sweet surprise. Invite him over to your place or take him out for a candle-lit dinner.

#9 Cook Him His Favorite Meal

It has been rightly said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Cooking his favorite meal for him would be a very sweet expression of your love and show that you know him well. When issues can be resolved over a feast, why allow it to make its way to your bedroom and spoil the night?

#10 Recreate Memories

Recreating sweet memories is the easiest way to resolve all problems and smoothen all rough curves. It can be a memory that you created together. The day he proposed to you or the day you first went out for a date. It can also be one of his childhood episodes where you can also invite his childhood friends and make it all the more happening.

#11 Talk It Out

Communication is the key to stronger relationships. If you have doubts, talk it out. If you have a grudge, express it. Keeping it within will only make it difficult. Learn to communicate. He is your love. You can be open to him without hesitation. Just don't be rude.

#12 Express Your Desire To Get Involved

If you want him to involve you while spending time with his friend, then there is nothing wrong with it. If his folks are decent enough, he would not mind you taking along. If not, then he might have his reasons and is scared that they might misbehave, but at least he will spell it out to you.

#13 Take An Interest In His Hobbies

One of the reasons this might happen is that you are ignorant towards him and don't take an interest in his likings. Spend time doing things together that he likes to do. That shall rebalance the equation, and he will enjoy and appreciate your company more.

#14 Spend Some Time With Your Friends

If he is spending time with his friends, then you can utilize the same time to hang out with your friends. Plan a girls' night out, have a gala time. Show him that he is not the only one to have friends.

#15 Plan Out Your Week Together

Planning your week together will smoothen things up to a great extent. That is what my boyfriend and I practice as a couple. That way, we are aware of each other's whereabouts and also know about our free slots. So, it becomes easier to plan things out without any miscommunication.

Summing Up

There is nothing unhealthy or worrisome if your guy is prioritizing his friends over you. There might be days when you prioritize your friends or family too. You, too, might have your reasons to do so.

It is never wise to stick onto someone in a way that begins to suffocate them. He is your man, and he is not cheating on you. All he needs is some time to have fun and enjoy life the way he used to do. Give him that and go for a kitty party yourself. 

There is nothing needy about wanting to spend time with your boyfriend. You just need to work on the way he is getting your message. Write him a pretty letter or send him that song which expresses your feelings best. Don't be ashamed of your emotions.

Your guy knows you too well. If you express your concern and try to meet him somewhere midway, he would appreciate the efforts and take the remaining steps himself to lift you up and kiss away all your problems.


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