She Has A Boyfriend But Talks (& Texts) To Me Every Day: Here's Why

Ahiri Chakraborty
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Love stories have made us believe that literally, everything is possible in love and war. Well, I don’t know about war, but I certainly believe very strongly about the power of love. And you can try always to get the love of your life. Obviously, you have to follow certain boundaries and you can’t go completely off-limits. But a try would never hurt.

So, even when you see the girl who already has a boyfriend yet talks and texts you, you might be in a very complex position. Your life is actually like the Facebook relationship status “It’s complicated”. But don’t worry, I’m here to make it a bit less complicated. 

You are talking to a girl whom you secretly like but the sad part is that she already has a boyfriend. But she still sends you texts and talks enough to you which leads you to think thousand different things. So, you don’t surely know whether she likes you not or she is just talking to you as a friend. At the same time, you can’t directly ask her knowing that she has a boyfriend. It can hurt her or offend her. 

But the first thing that occurs in your mind is that why the girl is talking to me so much when she is in a relationship? Is she trying to hint at something special? Or there’s nothing to think about at all. What can it mean actually?

So, what does that mean when a girl talks and texts you but has a boyfriend? When she talks to you every day, then she definitely likes you as a person but that does not mean she is interested in you romantically. She is in a committed relationship with her boyfriend but she respects you as a friend. However, there are some signs which can show whether she is into you or not. 

When a girl talks to you every day, it can have many interpretations.

My friend Sarah was in a relationship with her boyfriend for 3 years. But she had a very close friend, Ryan. Although Ryan had pretty strong feelings for Sarah, she never saw him more than a friend. She talked to him every day, met him and her boyfriend knew everything. They never had any problems in their relationship.

However, when Ryan finally confronted his feelings, Sarah, she was a bit surprised. But she clearly and honestly told him that she was very happy with her boyfriend and Ryan is just a very close friend of hers. 

Due to their honesty, there was no awkwardness between the two and later on Ryan also started dating a girl. They had a solid friendship even after that.

But not everyone has the same storyline as Sarah and Ryan. You may have many ups and downs, doubts and questions, and a lot of uncertainty. 

So, before you jump to a conclusion and go crazy thinking about all the possible reasons, let’s have a look at the various meanings 

What Does It Mean When A Girl Talks To You Every Day But Has A Boyfriend?

Girls usually love long-lasting, loyal relationships. Breaking up is never the first option for most girls. So, if she is talking to you every day it can mean nothing to her. You can just be like her nay another friend.

However, not every relationship is perfect. When a girl goes through a lot of troubles in a relationship or her boyfriend is a toxic one, she will try to get out of that relationship. She tried to stay but unfortunately, now it has become intolerable for her. Even in situations like this, she can start talking to a guy.

So, basically, a lot of things revolve around the mind of a girl. Let’s decode the meanings today. 

  1. You’re a close friend of hers:

When you are a close friend of the girl you’re talking to, she will talk to you every day. She will call you up and text you. But she is only doing this as a friend. She is in a happy place with her boyfriend and there is no intention of her to end the relationship.

It especially happens when you two have been friends for many years from your school days or university days. Also, if your families happen to be friends, then you know each other from your childhood. 

In this case, it is normal that she will talk to you just as she talks to her girl bestie. Just because you have known each other for a long time, it is wrong on your part to assume that she is into you or she will break up with her boyfriend. 

Do not misinterpret her friendship with anything else, be mature and handle the situation with care even if you have feelings for her. 

  1. She trusts you:

Not everyone can become a good confidant, right? We do come across so many friends in our lives, but we don’t share everything with everyone. Simply because we can’t trust everyone. It’s just one or two special people in our life with whom we’ve built that bond of trust and we share everything under the sun with them freely.

If you happen to be that special person, then lucky you. She trusts you and is free to share all the happenings of her life with you. Now you may think, does she trust you more than her boyfriend? Well, no. she trusts him as a girlfriend, as romantic couples in general do. But you are that one special friend in her life whom she can trust with her eyes closed. 

She is not planning to start a relationship with you or dump her boyfriend just because she talks to you every day. She likes to share little things of her life because you’re a trustworthy person. No romantic angle is attached to this friendship. 

  1. She likes you secretly:

She might be in a relationship but she likes you secretly. If you two are not childhood friends and have met through a common friend or just by chance, then most likely she likes you secretly.

Perhaps the liking is not very strong that she would break up with her boyfriend immediately and move on with you. But she likes your company, loves to talk to you. In most cases, when you two have the same kind of interests, you always have a topic to talk about.

So, you might find that she is talking about general stuff with you but speaking for a longer time. She likes you as a person but she is not planning to dump her boyfriend right now.

Only if you notice that her tone and language have changed and she is talking to you in a flirtatious way, then she likes you more than a friend. 

  1. She is bored with her boyfriend:

When a couple is not compatible with each other enough or they have been together for a really long time period time, a dry period comes into the couple’s life. There is no newness in the relationship, it has become stagnant and basically, both the partners have stopped putting efforts to keep the spark alive of the relationship. 

When the girl talks to you every day and texts you all the time, then maybe she is bored with her boyfriend. You will find that she talks about everything with you. It can be about her relationship, her likes, and dislikes, her family issues, her friendships, her work issues, everything which normally she is supposed to share with her boyfriend.

You will also notice that if you ask questions about her boyfriend, she will try to divert the topic. She wants to know about your life, what you do, where you hang out, etc. she wants to explore a new person because her relationship has no growth. 

  1. She is having a rough patch in her relationship:

It’s not a surprise that a couple goes through a lot of rough phrases in their relationships. So when a girl faces a lot of difficulty in her relationship and does not get emotional support from her boyfriend, she will try to have someone in her life for that.

You are the only channel through which she is venting out her emotions, sharing her problems with you. She does not like you romantically and even if you like her there is hardly any chance that she would develop any feelings for you.

She is only using you for her emotional support which she is not getting from her boyfriend. You will find that she talks to you about her relationship problems and she will often ask you for solutions. She definitely wants to keep her relationship and you’re just a shoulder for her to cry on. 

  1. She is unhappy in her relationship:

Having fights are normal. But sometimes things go off-hand and there is no way to look back. When a couple reaches the final point, they have to break up with each other because clearly, the two are not happy together.

So when a girl is really unhappy with her boyfriend, she will talk to you every day. She wants to get out of the relationship and she will very soon. 

When a girl has tried many times to be with her boyfriend after innumerable fights, yet her boyfriend behaves the same way, she will be upset and she will try to get out of that toxic relationship as soon as possible. 

Talking to you takes her to a different world, it wipes away all stresses, she feels happy talking to you. She gets the attention that she never got from her boyfriend. Slowly she will understand what her relationship lacks and what she actually deserves. 

  1. She is trying you out:

You can’t expect the same kind of commitment from everyone in a relationship. There are times when a girl likes to try out or date many boys before fully committing to anyone. Although she is in a relationship, she is not very serious about it.

She is extremely casual in her attitude and she is open and honest about it. Even her boyfriend knows about her casual approach. So you’re not the only guy she is talking to. 

She is talking to many guys at the same time, trying to find who is the most suitable for her. So, you don’t feel extra special and keep your hopes high.

  1. She is attracted to you:

You never know what happens with the matters of a heart. You can be in a relationship yet you can get attracted to another person. Attraction does not mean entirely chatting unless you get physically involved with the person or hurt your boyfriend behind his back. 

The girl is attracted to you and that’s why she is talking to you every day. She may be in a happy or an unhappy relationship. It does not determine her attraction towards you. She found you a charming person, she liked the way you talk, she has common interests with you. And this is normal to happen. 

On the one hand, she is trying to be loyal to her boyfriend by being in the relationship, on the other she can’t totally deny her attraction for you. She won’t cheat on her boyfriend. Ether she will control her feelings for you or she will openly confess this whole thing to her boyfriend.

  1. She is in an LDR:

LDR comes with its uniques set of problems. When two people live in separate countries and have time zone issues, you hardly get time to talk to each other properly. 

So, she does not get time with her boyfriend physically. Again, she only can speak to her bae for a few minutes. She feels lonely and that’s why she talks to you. You are her sole option to get rid of boredom and loneliness.

She gets to share everything in real-time with you which she does not get with her boyfriend. You are just a temporary replacement for her LDR boyfriend.

  1.  She is making her boyfriend jealous:

This is an old tactic. She is trying to make her boyfriend jealous and she knows very well how to play this card. 

Her boyfriend would be jealous when he gets to know that she is talking to a guy every day. Maybe she had a silly fight with her boyfriend and she knows if she wants the relationship to be on track again, she needs to do something extra.

Hence, she chooses to talk to you every day and her only intention is to get her boyfriend's attention and make him jealous. 

What Should You Do When A Girl Talks To You Every Day But Has A Boyfriend?

You need to be clear with your own feelings. Do you feel attracted to her? Or do you just think of her as a good friend? You must be clear about what you feel about her and accordingly, you can respond. 

  • Give her hints. When you notice that she talking to you every day and you feel that she has some kind of feelings for you, you need to make sure that she gets your vibe too. So when texting her use romantic emojis, send sweet quotes, send her good morning and goodnight texts. 
  • Listen to her patiently. A girl loves a guy who listens to her stories, problems. So, patiently listens to what she says. Give her that comfortable space where she can share everything with you without worry.
  • Share your daily updates with her. You want to make her a part of your life. And for that, you have to share your daily updates, your childhood stories so that she knows that you’re interested in her and you want her to know about your life.
  • Talk about her interests. Initiate conversations on the things that she enjoys talking about. This way she will also notice that you remember her likings and if she is unhappy with her boyfriend, then your efforts will catch her eyes. 
  • Tell her your feelings about her honestly. It might sound tricky. But girls like honestly. So, if you genuinely like her knowing that she has a boyfriend, you should confess your feelings for her. See her reaction. If she doesn’t respond positively, then give her that space and respect. But it’s always worth your try. 

Signs To Know If She Likes Me When She Has A Boyfriend?

When you’re interested in the girl but she has a boyfriend, how can you know that she is also into you? Just talking to you every day won’t mean that she is interested in you as you already saw the various meanings. 

There are certain signs that can help you understand her feelings for you.

  • She will tell you first before her boyfriend. When she shares everything about her life and you’re the first to know about it, she has feelings for you.
  • She will talk about the negative aspects of her boyfriend. You will find that she only talks about the bad things about her boyfriend and mentions how his behavior upsets her always. It is a sign that she wants you to understand that she likes you.
  • She shares pictures of herself and her friends. If she has gone to a new place or bought a new thing, she will share that picture with you. Usually, a girl sends these things to her boyfriend but when it’s you then you’re definitely special.
  • She insists on talking. Even if you try to end the conversation or hang up the call, you will see how she always brings new topics to continue the conversation. She likes your company and wants to talk more.
  • She doesn’t pick up her boyfriend’s call or replies him late. This is an obvious sign. She is clearly into you and that’s why she doesn’t mind talking to her boyfriend later. 
  • She asks for your advice. If she is facing a problem, she will ask you for a suggestion instead of her boyfriend. Well, who’s the special person then?
  • She will be jealous to know about your female friends. When you have feelings for a guy, you won’t like any other girl to be around him, right? So, if you notice that she gets really jealous or angry when you start speaking about your female friends, then she is very much into you. 
  • She loves to know about your life. She will ask you about your past, special memories of your life, because she wants to know you fully. Clearly, she is attracted to you. 

These signs will definitely give a glimpse into the heart of your girl. 

However, as I said before there are times when the girl is only flirting with you or using you as emotional support. You will understand her gestures. You will see she only talks about herself and is not interested to know about you. 

Also, if you insist on meeting with her, or ask her any personal questions related to her past or her family, she will always avoid it. 

In this situation, even if you like to her, it would be best to withdraw your feelings for her as soon as possible. The more time you take you will hurt yourself even more. So, it’s wise to make decisions based on her actions and behavior. 

Now, you know what does it actually mean when a girl talks and texts you every day although she has a boyfriend. If you like her be bold and tell her. But never disrespect her decision. And if you feel that she is only goofing around with you, then be wise and move on. 


Should I tell her I love her when she has a boyfriend?

If you really love her, then you must confess your feelings to her. Unless you tell her you will never know how does she feel for you. So, give it a shot and tell her that you love her. 

How do you know if a girl is using you?

If you see the girl only comes to you for a solution regarding her relationship problems, or she asks help from you to check up on his boyfriend’s activity, then she is using you. You will also see that she is not interested in knowing you, she only talks to you when she is free and is never open about her life to you completely. 

What to do if she already has a boyfriend?

Make her feel special. Give her all the things that she does not get from her boyfriend. Make her feel wanted and worthy of love and attention. Put genuine efforts and be honest. She will notice your attraction for her.


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