Is It Normal For Couples To Talk Less In A Relationship?

Adhideb Ghosh
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Communication is the very base of all healthy relationships in our lives. Knowing how to communicate or talk with a partner plays a crucial role in the smooth sailing of your romantic relationships. That’s why new couples tend to talk all day because at this point in a relationship they feel the need to know each other. Besides, a feeling of spark works between them to explore each other both physically as well as mentally. 

But, this initial spark doesn’t last long. After a few months, maybe after a year when the couple has known each other quite well and there’s nothing new left to explore then that initial craziness falls apart. As a result, the volume of conversation also decreases with it eventually. Many couples then start doubting the relevance of their relationship and often fight over this less talking. However, fortunately, healthy communication does not depend upon how much you talk with another person.

If you have looked for this context online and landed on this page, maybe you’re also going through such a difficult phase. Don’t worry, I’m gonna help you out in this regard.

Now, if you ask me, whether it’s normal for couples to talk less in a relationship or not, I’ll say, Yes, it’s normal for couples to talk less after the relationship reaches a certain level of maturity. No matter how romantic the relationship was, after exploring each other to their fullest the volume of conversation is bound to decrease. But there are differences between quality conversation and talking a lot. Talking less with your partner doesn’t always mean that the relationship is falling apart. However, of course, there could be situations otherwise.

To understand the context completely, there’s a need for a detailed discussion of the various aspects related to it. In this blog, I’m gonna help you out exactly with that. Relationships are quite complicated to predict something just with a few words. Rather it needs comprehensive analysis of the context from various perspectives. So, sit back and read the blog thoroughly without missing any particular point. 

Here in the article, I’m gonna reveal the normality of talking less with a partner; and discuss when to drop a glass to break the silence in the room. 

Is Talking Less Normal In A Healthy Relationship?

When we discuss communication, it’s important to keep in mind that we’re all individual human beings and hence our phenomena are controlled by different factors. That’s why each one of us speaks in different ways. The language may be the same, but the pattern of communication or expression keeps varying. Right? 

The way we communicate with our parents is different from the way we communicate with our friends or partners. Our love language for different relationships varies and that is very normal too.

In this regard, first, you’ve to understand why we talk. We talk to express our feelings. Here’s the catch. Our feelings can also be expressed through gestures and actions.

After a certain point in a relationship, we know each other so much that gestures and actions work more effectively to express our feelings. Talking is still important of course, to know someone personally, but certainly does not set the tone right in all aspects of a romantic relationship.

A couple can talk less in a very healthy and happy relationship. It’s not how much you communicate, but the way you do so that helps build a solid base for your relationship. 

Here are some interesting examples of when talking less is a healthy choice for couples.

Written Communication

Both of the partners in this romantic relationship may not get enough time to talk due to reasons like long distance, time mismatch, busy lifestyles, different work schedules, etc... But, a couple can make mutual efforts to fill the gap in verbal communication with written messages to keep things in place. Leaving notes, handwritten letters, texts over the phone (not those hi, hello, and small talks though!) Audio messages are some very easy and interesting ways to fill in any verbal communication gap. 

So in case you guys talk less, yet make sure to keep a very engaging communication one way or the other, things can be totally healthy and perfect in your relationship.

More Quality Time Together

If couples are living together, spending literally all their time together, doing engaging stuff, and simply staying in close touch mostly, there is no need for endless talks, calls, or conversation. Talking less in such scenarios will not affect your relationship negatively. In fact, the comfortable silence will deepen your bonding and make room for new ways of meaningful conversations. 

Be it relationships or any other things you engage in, the ultimate goal is growth! If talking less to your partner helps keep that sanity, trust, understanding, and acceptance in a relationship, then be it! Do not question your relationship's normality here. 

Enhanced Creativity

When two partners talk less, yet find other creative ways to keep the communication intact and healthy, things can run totally normal. In fact, you can intentionally have less verbal communication to challenge each other and find creative ways to communicate. Take things in your hand and make this connection with your partner more fun. This will also help you keep the spark alive and never make your relationship boring and mundane. 

Speak or text with rhymes, songs, or dedicated songs to express how you feel, visit libraries and read in silence, sit next to each other, communicate through puzzles or anything that tickles your brain. So, if there is a lack of verbal communication, act from your enhanced creativity and let your relationship shine.

Allowing Space

Silence (or talking less) is a very healthy option for many couples to allow private space for their partners and themselves. Constant chatter and endless talk can drain you even in a relationship. So enjoying the fewer talks and silence simply to spend time with yourself is a healthy option for both partners. 

Allow your partner to spend alone time or let them enjoy themselves with their friends and family. Build a solid trust where there will be no space for any doubts or insecurities to gather and stale the time apart.

Get To Know Each Other Better

Too much exposure to communication over social media and constant texts has shaped modern-day relationships to grow in a direction of excessive chaos. Doubts, insecurities, and misunderstandings can sprout from a partner liking the picture of anyone from the opposite gender. Many relationships have lost the essence of deeper connection. 

So talking less can be a very normal and healthy choice. Rather, less conversation can help couples value their relationship more. Spending quality time instead can bring two individuals together and allow time and effort to get to know the person in real life, better.

When Talking Less Is Not Normal In A Relationship?

As I have already mentioned earlier, quality talking is an essential part of every kinda relationship. Talking less may not be an issue if everything else is going well, but if it isn’t then I think it’s time to rethink the bonding you share with your partner. 

Depending upon the prospectus of your relationship with your partner, talking less or silence can be a huge red flag. It’s like the two sides of the same coin! It’s only the couple who can judge and understand the waters of their relationship based on how much they talk to each other. 

Here are some of the most common grounds of scenarios between a couple, when talking less signals a negative direction. 

If You Are Silent Treating Each Other

The silent treatment is nothing new to explain. At some point in our lives, we all have done it in one way or the other. The point of extreme anger, disagreement, or pain, where we no more express what we feel (intentionally or subconsciously).

There may be certain points in a relationship when you are simply tired of explaining a thing to your partner or repeating the same old fights again and again. The loop continues and as there is no point in the break, we shut ourselves from expressing what we feel! 

Silence treating our partners is the only option left, and mostly it numbs our pain. Silent treatment eventually turns toxic, if a couple fails to solve the problem. Either this habit results in a life-long emotional blockage or people end in a break-up.,

Ignoring Important Conversations

If you have been trying to contact your partner to discuss something important related to your relationship, future plans, commitment, or anything. And, they seem to keep avoiding you or this conversation by all possible means, chances are something is wrong!

You see, it is utterly important to have proper communication whenever required. Talking less is fine, but avoiding the needful or getting into the zone of no-contact, or ignorance is something different. These situations often have an underlying message and should be accepted as a red flag. Try to crack this conversation or communicate with your person upfront, where they can not avoid but speak the truth behind this ignorance.  

Inability To Express Yourself

Another big reason, that leads couples into a less talking or zero communication zone, is the inability to express themselves. This is common in many men, who are emotionally unavailable. Childhood traumas, societal stereotypes, peer pressure, family situation, and relationship traumas often leave behind traces of insecurity and pain.

People tend to close their hearts to their partners in such situations and do not express what they actually feel. This results in a lack of communication, fights, more drama, and eventual breakup. 

So in case you find your partner talking way too little than they used to, it’s time you approach them gently. Be a friend with whom they can share their honest emotions and patiently allow them time to express themselves. Remember to be gentle and not rush such situations. 

Talking Only To Express Anger

If you and your partner already talk less or only talk to express anger against each other, that is right when you need to improve your communication. Communication is a beautiful way to express what you feel for the other, thus it’s not limited to talking. However, if a couple in a relationship talks the least and mostly opens up to express anger, hate, or fight, the situation needs immediate attention. 

More talking and proper understanding, acceptance, communication, in general, is required here. Without an understanding of each other and complete acceptance, less talking can ruin a relationship further. It’s only when the silence between two people is comfortable, peaceful, and happy, you must know that less talking is okay!

Not Talking Out Of Disinterest

Losing interest in your partner is something many people go through after a certain point in their relationship. It again depends upon the kind of connection with your partner. Maybe because of unending fights, insecurities, doubts, misunderstandings, lack of mutual interests, and understanding, that spark fades away over the years. Lack of efforts from both sides, make the relationship more of a mundane habit. 

If your partner is ignoring you or talking less, it could be a sign that the person has started losing interest in you. 

What is Good/Normal Communication In A Relationship?

Your understanding regarding this context will not be completed without the discussion of this column. I have mentioned multiple times the quality conversations in relationships. If you have a quality conversation with your partner, then talking less is not bad at all. But for that, first, you must know what quality/good communication actually is. 

A good or healthy flow of communication between partners in a relationship will require trust, friendship, and patience. Knowing your partner right, understanding their way of communication, and expressing love, anger, and other emotions keep your ship sailing through all tests of storms. 

Equal or mutual understanding and acceptance between a couple also help to communicate better. 

Communication is not only about self-expression, but also about keen listening. One must learn how to allow space for their counterpart to speak and express themselves. Being a vessel for the other person is not always easy, as it requires courage to hear their truth and understand their roles. 

Having those crucial yet tough conversations, accepting faults, hearing the harsh words along with all the good things are most difficult. But, no matter what the situation is, talking more or less will never define the depth of your relationship. 

The only way I can define good communication between couples is by letting them judge their peace of mind in this relationship. Whatever feels healthy, is healthy actually! 

So, I hope after going through this blog, you’ve understood all possible sides regarding the context. And hopefully, you’ve learned to judge whether the connection with your partner is a healthy one or not. Just always try to be gentle with all your approaches. And, most importantly, learn when to leave. There’s no meaning to stay in some toxic relationship even after enough effort. Otherwise, happy talking and happy dating!


Before closing off, here are some of the most commonly asked questions related to the main topic by my readers. 

Does talking less in a relationship means breakup?

NO! Talking less in a relationship never means a breakup. Talking less may mean a communication gap, misunderstanding, fight, inability to properly express a person’s feelings, but not break up! If your partner is talking less and it feels awkward, uncomfortable, or strange, you must be the one to initiate a conversation and approach them with an open heart for better understanding.

How can I communicate more with my partner?

Well, if you want to start communicating more with your partner, I would suggest doing fun and interesting things together. It could be anything that you both enjoy or plan to do something new that you have never enjoyed before. Reading together, dancing, listening to music together, dropping letters, and communicating in an old-school style are some of the best things you can try to connect and communicate better with your partners. 

Why is my partner not talking to me?

First things first! You should simply and gently ask this same question to them first. If your partner is not talking to you, it could be due to a thousand possible reasons and mostly personal. As a romantic partner, do not be afraid to ask why they are silently treating you! That is right what is meant by good communication. Instead of googling anything about your partner, speak to them. 

Does talking less mean my partner has lost interest in me?

If your partner is talking less to you, this could be a possible reason, if the person is already showing other signs of disinterest. Your partner’s disinterest in you will reflect through ignorance, frequent fights, inability to listen, anger, and avoidance. You will know it better when your relationship with your partner is simply falling apart. If you already have those signs, simply consider this as a confirmation of letters of our doubts about your relationship.


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