She Never Initiates Text But Always Responds: Here's Why!

Megha Chanda
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Hello Fellas,

Please fasten your seat belt as I am going to take you on the journey of why “she never initiates text but always responds”.I can assure, this gonna be the most memorable journey of your life as your pilot has been on this route numerous times and knows everything just the way she knows her palms. 

You know how it goes. You’re trying to court this girl. She gives you hints that she’s interested, but it takes forever for her to give you an actual lead. You keep trying to make progress but never make much headway. Why?

What she was doing was likely just part of her nature. Maybe she doesn’t have her phone with her at work or in school, so she can’t text you when she’s not with you. She doesn’t want to bother you by texting you too much, so waits until she can talk to you in person. Maybe they’re trying to go slow on you. Maybe they haven’t been sure from the get-go that you were a guy worth texting frequently. Whatever the reason is, if she never texts you first then she probably doesn’t see you as a romantic prospect or someone she could date if it were up to her.

Not every woman has the same reason why she isn’t texting you first, but I feel like I’ve had enough experience with it to pinpoint a few of the most common reasons why she doesn’t text you first and to hopefully help you get her to text first.

A Phone Call Is Better Than Constant Messaging

Even during college and sometimes after that I was very comfortable at messaging rather I used to ponder if I had to make a call. I had always believed that the difficulty of making a call is behind us and we can easily communicate via texting. But, I was wrong.

As time goes on and typing almost all day long to sustain myself becomes a part and parcel of life, I now literally hate texting. 

A quick call even in the middle of work is much better than constant messaging all day long. I find it very distracting and energy-consuming. My friend and family have to wait for days to get a single reply. My texting habit has now put my relationship with others at stake. 

But hey you, please be grateful at least your girl doesn’t take hours to reply to your one text. 

Like me, she may also not be a text lover but always takes out time gladly to respond to your texts. She is trying to change her habit for you, you are already special to her. So, don't overthink why she never initiates text though I know you’ll feel good if sometimes a text comes from her side. Have patience and don't hesitate to initiate texts but not for 24*7. Like my preference shifted from text to call, your girlfriend can also start initiating texts any day soon.

No Time For Small Talks

Sorry but not sorry. 

Right now, in the middle of writing this article if my boyfriend texts me if I had taken my lunch or what I am doing, I would take some time before replying. Or, in the middle of working, I wouldn’t check on my boyfriend just for sake of it.

Don’t get me wrong though, I do love to text him. I just never initiate because so much of my time is already allocated towards other tasks. 

Maybe this is the case for your girlfriend too, she is already busy building her dreams, taking care of her families and fulfilling other commitments. Amidst all these, she gets hardly any time to start a conversation with you. It is not that she is careless about you or doesn’t love you. She is juggling with other things in life that sometimes little things like initiating a text take a backseat.

She may never initiate a text but always respond which clearly shows you are important to her. If you were not important she could have easily skipped your text. So, if your girlfriend never texts you first, don’t get offended. Consider it as an investment of her time which she is probably devoting towards achieving something wonderful in life.

Maybe She Doesn’t Want To Bug You

She doesn’t text first because she doesn’t want to fret you. That doesn’t mean you have a bad relationship. A lot of quality people don’t like to bother others with unnecessary small talk. They keep it relevant and reserved for a more appropriate time – when the both of you have time to talk. This means that she wants you in her life, but other things are going on at the time that she wants to give you enough space to handle those things, as well.

Women who understand this aren’t going to bug you with small talk when maybe some other time would be better.

So, if this girl you like is not messaging you first, it doesn’t necessarily mean that she wants to break things off with you. She may even like and love you more than ever – but the way she expresses it is through her actions which can sometimes seem cold.

Maybe She Is A Bit Introverted 

Shy women are often reticent to initiate a conversation with you despite knowing that they like you. They find it hard to show their feelings (lack self-confidence) and feign apathy (to cover up their emotions). You might be thinking that it means she is disinterested, but you’re wrong.

Women with introverted characters are very fond of silence. They don’t like saying too much unless they are certain of their thoughts. This can make them seem aloof or even a little moody to others, but the truth is they just need a little time alone to think things through, which can be a bit frustrating for a partner who’s looking for a more immediate response.

Maybe She Doesn’t Want To Come Off As Desperate

You may be thinking, “Why is she always the one to text me back?” Well, initiating a text conversation can sometimes be seen as a way to “get something started.” 

Don’t we think “What she will think if I text her first” crosses your mind? We all do. This can be one solid reason why she never initiates a text

It is an unwritten rule of texting to wait for the other person to text you back before you initiate a conversation.

Just because she’s not doing it doesn’t mean there’s a problem. She isn’t forcing herself on you, she is waiting for you, making sure that it is what you want. She is reluctant to appear too anxious or overbearing. She rather waits for you to text her and let her do her thing — which not only shows that she is busy with other things, but it also shows that she respects your time and wants what’s best for you.

Maybe She Is Waiting For You To Take The Lead

“I have been going out with a girl for just about a month now. We click well, great personality. I am happy to have met her. There's just one problem, she doesn't text me first, although she always responds within minutes after my text. Whenever I initiate the conversation, she answers in a very enthusiastic way.” - This was exactly the condition of my friend Jay, a few months back.

If this is your situation too then she has been waiting for those signs from you as to what she should do next. It is now up to you whether to take it forward from thereon. Addressing these things timely will help her know your interest in her.

It is on you to send the first message and do some work. If you had several dates with her and haven’t texted her in a while, then there is a chance that she is waiting for you to turn up. She doesn’t want to start the conversation at all.

The first thing that comes to mind is whether or not you've given her enough room to initiate a chat with you. It's important that you understand the amount of pressure you're putting on her.

When you start chasing someone too hard, she will feel it. She feels smothered by your advances. This will cause her to run in the opposite direction.

Maybe She Has Closed The Door For You

If a girl never texts you first, it means she does not find you attractive enough to take that initiative. A spark is when romance and attraction start to flow between two people and they feel close to each other. Once the girl feels that the man isn’t interesting or that they don’t have enough in common, she will stop talking to him. She will just talk to him as a friend, but she won’t see him romantically anymore. 

Once a girl has decided that she doesn’t want to date a guy anymore, the feeling is over for her and she will no longer let him into her life. She just pretends to be nice and talks to him from time to time as a friend. Nothing can happen from those talks because she has already closed the door on having anything serious with him.

How To Make Your Girl To Initiatewomen you understand Texts?

Follow These 5 Simple Rules To Persuade Her Text You First!

I have given my male readers a few probable reasons why she never texts first. But, I can’t let my readers scratch their round-the-clock to get a text first from their girl. So here you go. 

  1. Try to understand her situation

So before you assume your partner’s attitude, try to understand her situation. Also, you must prepare yourself to give time enough for a relationship. If need be, cut short of some unimportant things so that you both can spend more of your time together. If she still pulls away, maybe you should consider it as a red flag of her loyalty towards you and lookup for another person who has the same time for you as you have for her.

  1. Stop making all the first moves

Let me explain. Right now, you’re the one who’s always texting her first. What does this mean? It means she never has any reason to contact you urgently. How do I know this? Because if she had the urge to text you, she would have texted you already. You need to change that by giving her a reason to text you often.

She never texts you first because you always make the first move. You’re often the first one to message her on Facebook as well. You’re the guy who texts first, who asks her to hang out first, and who makes all of those first moves which are why she never texts first. Instead, you need to stop being the hunter and start being more of a gatherer. Stop focusing so heavily on how to get her to text you and instead think about how to get her to chase after you. 

  1. Stop smothering her

I would never suggest you do not show interest whatsoever. However, there is a fine line between showing interest and smothering someone. Create opportunities where it's more likely for her to text you first. 

For example, if she’s had a long day of work or school, or if she just got back from a long trip around the world—create that opportunity for her! If you desire to have a healthy relationship in which you both feel comfortable in communicating with each other, then making it effortless for your partner to initiate a conversation with you should come easy.

  1. Girls like the chase

Make her want you and she’ll chase you. You’ll know she likes you when she stops waiting for you to text her and starts texting you first. If you want women to text you first, it all begins with being dominant.  If she feels your dominance, then she’ll need to prove herself to you.

Put the burden on her. Don't wait for her text first. Make sure you’re busy enough with other things so she will text you first.

  1. Have a life of your own

Have a life of your own. Be able to go out with friends, engage in hobbies you are passionate about, be able to go places. Be the guy with something going on. Be the man with options.  Never speak badly of her or any other woman for that matter.  Asking her out every time you see her won't make her want to be with you. She wants to see your life, not your desperation.

If you are tired of girls not initiating texts, then take a look at this article to understand why some women do not initiate a text but will respond to your texts.


Will a girl reply if she is not interested?

If a girl is interested in you, she'll open up her heart and give you a chance. If a girl doesn't text back, it only means that she does not have any interest

Should I text a girl every day?

Texting a girl daily is a lot of fun, but if you're texting a girl just because you think it's what you should be doing to show you're interested, then it can become pretty boring. It will feel like work instead of casual conversation. Don't just page her every day, hoping she'll notice something's important for you 

How To Keep A girl Hooked To You?

Being able to connect with a girl and see things from her perspective is a great way to keep her interested. If you can speak to her on her level and show her that you care about what she's saying, don't respond with generic responses to everything, and respect her opinion or feelings, then you're going to have a great shot at keeping her interested in you. 


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