[Mystrey Solved] Girl Says She Doesn't Want A Relationship But Keeps Texting Me

Megha Chanda
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The girl is not interested in dating you, but she still texts back every time. Now what? This can be confusing. It's frustrating and it can make you feel like text exchanges with girls are a complete waste of time.

This is not as rare as you might think. In fact, it happens more often than you would like to know. Every day men go through tense emotional roller coasters with girls who say one thing but do another. We're here to help you figure this out so you can understand exactly what is going on in her head and discover the reasons for her behavior—and how you should react accordingly.

Read more about why a woman says she doesn’t want a relationship but keep texting.

A girl may not be interested in you romantically but still texts you after your first encounter. When a girl claims to be not looking for a relationship but still texts back and forth with the guy there are many possible reasons for doing it. She could be a nice girl or just someone who likes to talk about things that interest her. The girl may be looking for a friend or is just bored and lonely.

To know how to act next, though, we must find out what is going on with her right now and why she’s doing what she is doing; this analysis will help us better understand her motives. 

Why Does She Keep Texting Me If She is Not Interested? {10 Solutions to 10 Problems!!!}

To know how to act next, though, we must find out what is going on with her right now and why she’s doing what she is doing; this analysis will help us better understand her motives. 

1. Enjoys Being A Bit Of Pagan

She is unpredictable. She’s not your girlfriend. She’s just a girl who likes to have a lot of fun and doesn’t want any strings attached. She’s looking for someone who shares her sense of independence and her desire to keep the spark alive, but she has no interest in being tied down to one person.

If you can’t let her be herself, she will gladly ditch your relationship for someone who will encourage her crazy ideas and allow her the freedom of expression.

Solution: While there is no right or wrong way to respond in a situation like this, you do want to make sure that your response continues the conversation going in a direction that will be beneficial to both of you.

2. Doesn't Want To Get All Serious

A desire for companionship without the expectation of a long-term commitment is normal, but the fear of intimacy drives her away. She may not want to be in a relationship with you or with anyone else right now, so she hides behind her phone to avoid an awkward encounter. 

She might feel that you are too emotionally demanding and it can be too stressful.

Maybe the girl's just having fun and doesn't want to get all serious with you. Maybe she thinks you're a good guy but not good enough for her. She's playing hard to get, so she's texting but not looking for commitment. 

Her phone banter indicates she wants to spend more time with you but is not ready to define the terms of a relationship. 

She might be trying to see if it's possible to have a good time with someone without getting "all serious," or perhaps she just hasn't decided yet what she wants from the relationship. 

Hopefully, there will be more clarity on your end.

Solution: If you want a relationship, but she doesn't, let it go. With no expectation of a long-term commitment, there's no reason for her to continue thinking about you constantly.

You have to ask yourself why she's doing this. If she's honestly and truly just trying to have fun without any obligation or responsibility, you also need to think about how much effort you're willing to put into a relationship that isn't going anywhere.

3. Too Busy To Date

She may not be ready for a relationship with you yet for many reasons. she has problems at work or school she cannot disclose at this moment. She may be having problems with relationships in her life and she doesn't want to get committed yet. 

The reason she wants to text so much is that she feels comfortable doing that. She likes talking to you, but she has other things in her life that are a higher priority. 

Solution: Many girls are focused on their current careers and studies so if you want to date this girl you'd better not give her a hard time until she gets things straight.

4. Needs You As A Friend

I think what’s happened is that you met each other early on in your relationship and had something of a whirlwind romance. Now that the initial excitement is gone, you are realizing although she loves you and enjoys your company she doesn’t have the same level of passion or interest in you as you have for her.

It could be that she realizes she is no longer in love with you romantically but still holds some value to you as a friend. This often happens when one person is upset or angry with the other and decides he/she cannot handle a romantic relationship; however this person also needs friendship. People will often quietly and indirectly ask for friendship or companionship from another after deciding they do not want to maintain a full-blown romantic relationship. 

This situation can become emotionally complicated, especially if you still harbored hopes of getting back together with this person.

Solution: If she doesn’t want a relationship, you need to respect that. Sometimes you have to hear the word “no” to be sure of where you stand. If you like her, just be there for her as a friend. A girl may be willing to give dating a try if she’s already comfortable enough with you to see where it leads.

5. Congratulation!!! She Likes You

If she keeps texting you, it means she does like you. She might even be interested in dating you eventually if she thinks of you as the right guy. It’s just that she needs to feel confident about your interest before she’ll give any hint of her own. She doesn’t want to get your hopes up and then hurt you by backing away.

The number one thing she’s thinking about is your opinion of her. That matters so much that she doesn’t want to risk turning you off by showing too much interest—even if she likes you a lot.

Solution: Give her some space, and move slowly. By not showing strong interest in her, she’ll be forced to realize what she wants. Get her to give a reason for contacting you, and let that put some of your worries to rest.

6. She Needs You Back

To lose what you had, especially if it was a good relationship is never easy. She’s still in the throes of mourning the loss of your relationship and all of the benefits that came with it. She didn’t just need a date on Saturday night. You were her friend when she was feeling down. You were her sounding board when she needed advice. You were her shoulder to cry on after a tough day. In this case, she’s sending you these messages to see what it might be like to be with you again. She wants to find out whether she can still produce those nice feelings from you.

It makes her feel warm and fuzzy to think about times past with you. You’re a pleasant distraction from life’s troubles. Of course, this isn’t healthy behavior.

She may be hoping that if she keeps texting you, you’ll just get overwhelmed by the attention and start responding so she can manipulate you into getting back together with her.

Solution: The best way to respond to these texts is with a combination of empathy and letting her know you're not interested in having her back in your life. You can tell her that you’re sorry that she’s in pain, but that you don’t think it would be good to continue this relationship.

7. She Is In A Relationship

Another common reason a girl might text you even she claims not to want a relationship is that she already has one and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by rejecting you outright.

She fears hurting your feelings if she rejects you directly and instead tries to give the impression that she is just entertaining your company without commitment.

Solution: If she is already taken, she is not likely to tell you the truth. The best you can do is be as non-threatening as possible. Don't become aggressive, but at the same time don't become shy and withdrawn. If she has said she doesn't want a relationship, be understanding of this and try to make your flirting light and fun.

8. Sees You As Her Second Choice

She flirts with you, tells you what she wants but won’t commit herself, she’s interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you but nothing leads to nowhere. She probably has a boyfriend or a husband. She cares about you and if you are happy and content then she will be happy for you, but if her relationship falls apart, then there is a chance for something more between the two of you.

She probably sees you as her second choice in case something goes wrong with her current relationship.

Solution: First answer this question, do you want to proceed with someone who thinks of you like her backup plan?
If you are saying, Yes! Then I don’t have much advice for you. Move at your own risk.
Or get a clear idea about what she wants. Also, make your intention crystal clear, you can say something like this, “I want to be clear that I’m looking for a relationship in my life. This isn’t the kind of question I ask everyone, but I really care about you and I wanted to make sure I understood correctly where you stand with me.”

9. She Recently Falls Out Of A Relationship

She is ready though to have fun dating casually. She wants to date but doesn't want to have a relationship right now, because she has already had a long one and has not yet gotten the parts of herself back that she lost due to the relationship she was in.

At this stage, she is not sure of her feelings for you and isn't ready to think of a serious relationship with you. If you try to push too hard, you might scare her off altogether. She still needs time to process her feelings about her ex-boyfriend, so give her space for now.

Solution: She is in a stage where she needs empathy and space too. If you want the girl to change her mind about you, then don’t rush. Give her the emotional strength she is looking for. Don’t get too pushy, she might change her mind soon when she will realize you are not like the one for whom she is suffering so much.

10. Here Thoughts Are Here And There About You

She could be looking for someone to sweep her off her feet and is afraid to tell you that. She would be willing to date someone but doesn’t want a relationship just yet. She likes you a lot and is willing to continue talking with you if you are willing. It seems she is upfront with things, but she needs time. Maybe she thinks there is no rush.

Solution: She may not know how to put into words what she wants in a relationship. But if you are aware of the signs that indicate she is confused about what she wants then you can change her mind in knowing what it is she is looking for.

As you can see, each situation is different. There are many reasons why your ex can still be texting you. Ultimately though, without speaking directly to her, it's impossible to know for sure what she’s really thinking and why she is still contacting you. 

If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's never to make assumptions. It's much better to take a minute to really think about what's going on.


Start a conversation. Or give us feedback.

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