Why Do I Look At Other Guys When I Have A Boyfriend?

Adhideb Ghosh
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You are in a beautiful relationship with your boyfriend, he loves you and everything is going well in your relationship. However, something about yourself does not feel right. 

You clearly check out on other guys. What’s worse is you can not even share this truth with friends or family sometimes. We all fear those rolling judgemental eyes.

Well, I hear you sister! You are not alone in this. But truly, this is quite a tough situation, I must say. According to many psychologists, Despite having a stable relationship when you still check out on other guys and finally realize it, your mind starts self-judging yourself!

Am I happy in this relationship! Am I nothing but a jerk? Am I cheating on my boyfriend! These kinds of questions roam around in women’s minds when they realize that they check out on other guys despite being in a relationship. These all self-judging questions lead to self-blaming and eventually, you start feeling guilty. This entire thing not only affects your mental peace but also badly puts an impact on your present relationship. So, resolving all the doubts regarding this situation is quite necessary. 

So, let’s address the initial question first. Why do you look at other guys despite having a boyfriend? We all are animals in our biological form and in animals, hormones play a critical role when it comes to acting towards the opposite sex. You can’t hide your biological phenomenon behind your relationship status. Always remember, you are a human first and then a girlfriend. Unless your reasons behind checking out other men are intentionally subjective, there is nothing ill about it.

So, I hope you got that it’s completely normal to look at other guys when you already have a boyfriend. Guys also keep checking out on girls. Is that wrong! Not at all.  In fact, there is not even any connection between your relationship and your ‘checking out other guys’ thing.

Look, human minds are not so simple to be clarified. However, there are many different sides and shades of this ‘boy browsing’ thing. To know and learn about it more deeply, keep reading on the rest. 

Why Do I Look At Other Guys Despite Having A Boyfriend?

There can be many potential reasons behind the phenomenon of your boy browsing. I always keep saying that the human mind is quite a complex element and it’s too hard to predict something specifically about it. What is true for someone else, might not be true for you. So, it’s only you who can find the specifics about your phenomenon. You’ll learn the art of self-evaluation later in this article. Now, I’m gonna mention the potential reasons behind your boy browsing to help you out in the complicated way of self-evaluation. 

It’s A Natural Phenomenon

I already have mentioned and will mention like a loop on a stuck gramophone that looking at other persons is a natural and very natural phenomenon no matter whether you’re in a relationship or not. So, it’s highly possible that your boy browsing phenomenon is just casual as others’ and coming from your hormonal instinct. If it’s the case, there’s nothing to get worried about it. But if you find your instincts and intentions wrong, it’s time for critical self-evaluation. 

You’re Not Happy With Your Boyfriend

If you’re not happy with your boyfriend, your hormones may control your mind in such a way that you’ll look at other guys. In such cases, women often tend to compare their partners with the guys they check out. They often imagine being with other random guys instead of being in this relationship. This is the trick through which you can identify your specific. 

You Two Do Not Spend Enough Quality Time

If you’re not spending enough time with your partner, you may end up checking out on other guys. Remember the lack of quality time eventually leads to weakening the bonding. And if you have a weak bonding with your partner, it’s natural that you’ll feel attracted to other guys and often tend to check out on them.

It’s Your Nature

Identify the difference between ‘natural phenomenon’ and ‘nature’. The natural phenomenon comes from basic human instinct, but nature is something that a person develops and lives with. So, if boy browsing is the nature you developed from your early days, no matter if you’re in a relationship, you’ll keep doing it. 

Your Friends’ Circle Pushes You

People’s friends’ circles put a significant impact on their phenomena. If your friends’ circle pushes you or always keeps looking at and talking about other guys, you might also end up being such a jerk. It’s always good to maintain distance from such a friends’ circle. 

You’re Fickle-Minded

Maybe you’re not sure about your boyfriend or being in the present relationship. From this mindset, comes ‘option browsing’. Option browsing is quite synonymous with ‘boy browsing’. The only difference is, here you’ll seek potential partners among the guys you keep checking out.

You’re High On Libido

People who’re quite high on libido, often look at other persons opposite to their sex. It’s true for women too as it’s true for men. Here, it’s just your sexual urge or physical dissatisfaction that is leading you to check out on other guys.

What Do You See Pattern Or Potency?

Before I directly hop into discussing everything about watching other guys, I want my lovely ladies to ask themselves a few questions. 

WHY do you feel you look at other men, despite being in this beautiful relationship with your man? And, if your intentions are set right, WHY is this fact even bothering you? 

Boy browsing is either a simply normal and casual habit of yours OR there’s any underlying mind mess that is causing you to indulge in this habit. It’s the tussle between this ‘either or’ bothering you now. 

Speaking from experience, sometimes we are trapped subconsciously in past traumas and act from the same. We are not always aware of WHY we do and WHAT we do, but these actions simply do not resonate consciously. 

Oftentimes, these are trauma responses coming from lack of self-worth, self-love, and seeking validation outside our close relationships. If you look closely, you may find a certain PATTERN in your dating life that keeps repeating. 

However, if it is not a pattern, the WHY behind your looking at other guys despite being in a relationship may sprout from POTENCY!

Ask yourself and be brutally honest, Do you feel unhappy or incomplete in this current relationship? Are you truly present with your partner? Do you live the moments while being together with him? Or do you think that you deserve better than this current reality and look at these other guys as POTENTIAL counterparts?

Look, truth is the one and only way out in this situation. But unfortunately, no one else can find the truth lying on with your heart except you. So, learn and start questioning yourself and be honest. These subconscious and underlying questions can reveal a lot about your reasons. The answers may be distressing and most importantly hard to accept. 

However, no matter how much we try to escape it, our “WHY” behind every action will always catch up to some consequence or the other! So, it’s time to prepare yourself for hard situations. You’re gonna deal with something much harder than this.

The Positive Side Of Boy Browsing

Once you are done answering yourself with the truth, it is time to eliminate all our negative mindsets and stressful guilt-tripping questions around watching other men. Start living in the moment ladies! 

Trust me when I say this, boy browsing is a positive thing if you know how to do it right! 

You Accept Your Human Nature

Ladies, I want you to accept that you are a natural human being. Looking at men is basic human chemistry. Attraction towards the opposite gender or appreciating the looks and a man, complementing his personality, attitude, or the way he carries himself is what naturally comes to women. I’ve already told you earlier that human hormones control these phenomena of getting attracted to the opposite sex. So, there is nothing wrong with looking at other guys while you already have a boyfriend. 

Learn to accept the authentic self without any self-judgments. Stop polishing the moral stereotypes of “you should not look at other men if you have a boyfriend!”. Practically, this is never the reality. Feel no shame in standing your truth. Accept yourself and watch the world around you accept your authenticity. 

Fun Time With Your Partner

You wanna test the water you are standing in? It's easy! Start rolling eyes at other guys while on a date with your partner and feel some extra confidence and surround yourself with the air of little mystery. Sounds fun already right? You will understand more when you actually try it! Your man is undoubtedly going to fall head over heels. 

Start embracing that fun, flowy, and smart feminine energy of yours. Embody the divine and fresh energy that you are. Your boyfriend will only reflect how possessive he really is. However, know when to stop and do not overdo it. 

Getting Better At Your Imagination

Keeping your heart and mind light and fluttery will only help you live more at the moment and enjoy the flow of daily life. Yes, your man is amazing and he loves you so much, you share the same feelings for him too. But, watching other guys doesn’t make you love him any less. 

Keep your heart young and love deeper. Get better at imagining a beautiful and healthy romantic love and do not keep it limited always. Explore yourself and bring more to life with your partner. Remember, to put it right through your words and attitude and always speak your truth even if you are communicating with men other than your partner.

Simply Exploring And Knowing People

Whether in a relationship or not, you can always get to know more people and keep enhancing your social skills. Many of us are extroverts and social butterflies as people address it. Looking, talking, or connecting to other men or women is simply a part of who we are.

There is nothing wrong with you if you look at other men. Stop doubting your own feelings, If you genuinely know in your heart that you value your partner and love him. Commitment is never tested by looking at other men! In fact, boy browsing can help you watch out for some beautiful platonic connections as well. 

Inspires You For Self-improvement

Well, if you are reading this, you definitely look at guys other than your boyfriend. You have to agree here with me, that when those eyes look back with a slight smile around their lips, it automatically boosts you up with confidence. The confidence boost is then often followed by improved self-care, enhanced dressing senses, smartness, and flirty, intelligent feminine vibes. 

Boy browsing thus undoubtedly inspires you to take the best care of yourself and put your best foot forward. 

Gives Strength When You Need It

If you are already tired in a toxic and unhealthy relationship and feel stuck in the same. Boy browsing can actually help you look out at the world outside of your limiting relationship. You may seek some good, genuine and healthy friendships and meet better people. 

Learn to value yourself and choose your truth over anything else. If you are not happy where you are, walk out! Make the much-needed decision to let go of a person you are not happy with and explore how beautiful and healthy options are available to you when it comes to a romantic partner.

Setting Your Limits Right

I am sure, by now, all the positives of ‘boy browsing’ must have slightly altered your guilt-tripping mindset. However, before you clearly decide to indulge in the same habit further, you need to get yourself cleared with a few more facts.

When you are more aware of what you honestly feel and why you feel the same, you automatically resolve all your problems. 

But, if you haven’t discovered the “WHY” behind your habit, here are some limits you must set, while you’re in a relationship.

Do Not Indulge In Cheating Your Partner

I hear you sister! You are not happy in this current relationship. Everything seems all beautiful from the outside, but your heart says otherwise. You eventually end up looking at other men who could be your potential partner. It is clearly hard for many of us to speak this truth due to various reasons. 

But, Hooking up with these other men or intentionally cheating on your partner, because you are not happy in the relationship should never be an excuse! I repeat NEVER. If something does not resonate with your authentic self, let it go. It is that simple. Tell your man that you are not happy in this relationship and leave the toxic surrounding. Keep your slate clean and act from who you authentically are.

Don’t Be In Parallel “Friends With Benefits” Relations

Using that “we are just friends” statement while you are actually crushing over a specific guy is again a common mistake. Sometimes when we are in an unhappy relationship and our emotions keep striving for more, this crush answers the void as “friends with benefits”.

While you are already with a partner, this situation is equivalent to cheating. Besides, this will not even bring the peace of mind and fulfillment that you are genuinely seeking for. 

Act From Awareness

Flirting with other men while you are out with your boyfriend: is a big NO-NO! Looking or staring at handsome faces with flirty intentions can crumble your beautiful and healthy relationship. If you are already happy with your man, it is always better to act from awareness and respect your partner’s likes and dislikes as well. 

Many women often feel that looking at other guys will make their boyfriend jealous. We subconsciously enjoy their possessiveness and jealousy. However, over-doing these little things can indeed crumble down good soulful bondings. 

How To Make Your Current Relationship Better

After reaching a point of clarity about looking at other men, you may need some extra pro tips. To stop yourself from any further guilt-tripping or self-doubts, here is some genuine relationship advice for you. 

  • Communicate better: While in this relationship with your partner, learning to communicate properly is a skill most of us need. The communication gap is a huge problem why modern-day relationships lack the shine and eventually fall apart. Connect and communicate your honest feelings with your partner and not with other men. Knowing each other better at the deeper emotional level will only get you both stronger together.
  • Share your shadow side: Each one of us has a shadow side that we mostly hide. It is okay to hide it but while in a relationship, that is not appreciated. If you genuinely want to develop a strong connection with your partner, it is important to accept them and let them accept you with all your flaws. Sharing your shadow side with your partner and showing vulnerability deepens emotional bonding and often brings back all lost shine in a falling relationship.
  • Develop mutual interests: Another great way of developing a healthy relationship is by developing mutual interests. Reading certain genres of books, listening to certain podcasts, music, or watching favorite Netflix shows together, karaoke nights, hiking, skiing, or enjoying any new sports are some great ways that certainly connect two people stronger and better. Try this out with your boyfriend more often than feeding on external drama. 
  • Experiment: We all have fantasies and it’s nothing to be shy about this. If you feel that you and your boyfriend have lost that spark in this relationship, experiment with some fantasy moves and bring back the lost flames of love. Physical intimacy is a basic human need, and if you lose that in your relationship, talk to your partner about the same and work on it rather than filling this void by inviting external male attention. 
  • Enhanced intimacy: I want my beloved readers to understand this thing at best, intimacy is not only sexual. Real intimacy between two people in a relationship is rather emotional, mental, and at some level spiritual connection. 

Enhance your intimacy and connect with your person at soul level and a whole new world of romance will open up for you. Looking at other guys or inviting a third party in your existing relationship can not help you with this enhanced intimacy. 

  • Heal from the past together: Unhealed past traumas often reflect footprints in our current realities. Rather than fighting or developing insecure habits, looking out of the relationship for attention and validation, if you help each other heal from the past patterns, your relationship can touch heights of success. 

Your intention behind what you do will always make a huge difference in your life. Ladies, I hope you find all the answers to your “Why” after reading this write-up. Have the courage to stand with your truth and let life show you the magic! Happy Boy Browsing. 


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