For every man on earth, there's a woman who thinks he's wrong about everything. For every caring man who asks her why she argues so much, a woman is asking why men don't listen.
So What Would Happen If A Girl You Liked Argued With You A lot?
A lot of young men mess this up, but the answer is quite simple. Women will never tell you this, but one of the true signs that a woman loves you is when she argues with you. It’s a more general truth. Whenever women fight with a man, even in extreme cases when they seem to be fighting against him, they always do so for one reason only: they want what's best for him.
Why Does A Woman Argue And What It Means?
Women argue for many reasons. Let's say you feel a certain resentment when she argues about every little thing. You're not alone in your frustration.
- Those who argue a lot are also people who love a lot
Sometimes the one you love the most is the one who argues with you the most. And that's because she cares about you enough to tell you what she really thinks – and because she's passionate enough to want the best for both of you. Furthermore, it's important to understand that people who argue a lot are also people who love a lot.
A woman, whether she is eighteen or eighty-eight, needs to feel the love of a man. She wants to feel close to her mate, so she will go to whatever lengths necessary to be close to him. Her desire for intimacy must be respected, nurtured, and directed or it will cause chaos in her mind.
Pro Tip: What's important to understand, however, is that the act of arguing does not indicate a lack of love or trust but rather the opposite: The people who argue with you the most, argue because they love you. They want what's best for both of you. And they do it through an argument because nothing else works as well to get a man to reconsider his course of action.
- Maybe she is emotionally challenged
When asked, why does a woman argue, my friend Ben said, “I have the same situation, it stems from her being hurt in her past and she just wants to make herself mad at me sometimes even if I’m the greatest guy in the world because she knows the pain she felt from before hurt so much so she tries to make herself mad at me. In case we two ever break up so it won’t hurt as bad. Her thinking will be like ‘Better myself before I get hurt again.’
Post-traumatic stress disorder is an example of one of the possibilities. Another might be more serious mental health challenges.
Arguments over seemingly trivial issues are actually the tip of an iceberg of deeper, more meaningful, sometimes dark, and potentially traumatic and shameful, psychological issues that women are facing outside your relationship with them.
Pro Tip: Try to recognize the pain that she is hiding behind the arguments.
- Maybe she is highly-opinionated
A woman has her own mind and she’ll use it to tell you when she disagrees with you. Maybe she's not into the same things you are, or maybe she’s more competitive than you expected.
The woman who argues a lot is one who was either raised in an environment where the primary method of dealing with conflict or disagreement was an argument or she is naturally combative and/or open to different perspectives.
Pro Tip: If you'd like to avoid arguments, try exploring her interests and take notice of which ones mean most to her.
- Maybe she is testing you
When a woman argues with you, it can mean two opposite things. The first possibility is that she’s attracted to you. She might be arguing with you because she’s trying to learn more about you and the people in your life.
She might even be arguing with you because she wants to see who you are outside of your social circle so that she can connect to you at a deeper level.
Something I've observed is that women are much quicker to challenge men's ideas than they are to challenge other women. This is especially true if they sense a guy has something of value to say and they want to connect to him on a deeper level.
Pro Tip: First, don't try to fight with your girl or argue with her just because that's the way you think a man is supposed to be. Also, and this is crucial - don't ever argue with a woman just to win the argument. Trust me, you will lose more than you'll win arguing with her.
- Maybe you are not being responsive
I think the fundamental dynamic at play for your lady is that she is frustrated that you are not being responsive to her expressed needs. Whether this has a basis in your lack of skill, or because you don't care about meeting her needs, matters less (to her) than the fact that you are not being responsive
When a woman argues with you she is often expressing upset feelings about multiple unresolved past issues that you rarely want to talk about, which means that she needs closure and resolution on all of them. Women argue to fix problems.
Pro Tip: Why not ask her why she is angry? That's a much better way than saying "I'm sorry" without knowing what you are apologizing for.
- Maybe she is suffering physically
I have seen my friend who was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for about 18 months to developing chronic pain and dysfunction that she constantly primed to feel under attack from all new stimuli and acutely sensitive to the way you might be judging her. She is catastrophizing the worst consequences of everything, being oppressive on herself for the pettiest reasons; she's not sleeping, and so she'd rather fight than rest because at least that way she's occupied.
Pro Tip: I think you should not accuse her of being overly defensive, because she is not some crazy chick who needs to be put in a straitjacket. She needs therapy.
- Arguments are not necessarily negative
Rather they are blessings in disguise. If the girl argues with you it is a good sign that she has some expectations from the relation and she has the confidence in you that she doesn’t shy away from being vocal about her desires.
Have You Ever Thought What Does It Mean If A Girl DOESN’T Argue With You?
A woman who refuses to engage her man in the argument is like a lioness who covers her cubs with her body to protect them from hyenas. She is neither given to the desire to please him nor does she want peace. She is just biding her time, waiting for the right moment to pounce.
- She let you to discover it yourself
You want to believe that women are hardwired to care. You want to think that their compassion can’t be turned off. But around your mistakes, she turns cold as ice. She might smile at you, but she’s watching closely to see if you discover yourself before it’s too late.
- She is ready to leave
All the while you’re having a pointless fight in which neither of you has an interest, she’s mentally packing her bags. She doesn’t care about your pet peeves or what “we” have to do. She doesn’t want to be with you, so why argue?
- She has stopped caring for you
A woman who is not in love does not argue. If she thinks you are wrong, so be it. She’ll do what she wants to do because she doesn’t care about what you’re thinking.
- She’s not into you that much
You really can’t learn as much about how she feels about you as you probably think. It’s easy to get fooled into thinking she’s in love with you if she’s always putting on the happy face, but that isn’t necessarily true. If no one in the relationship is trying to win you over, it’s probably because she’s not into you that much.
- She is losing interest in you
If your girlfriend is not reciprocal in the way she talks to you, consequences may vary from losing interest in her to just a simple lack of respect. She could be a very nice person and your dating relationship could be quite healthy, but if she doesn’t argue with you about things that are important to you, watch out.
I know arguments have their own positive and negative shares. In our human capacity, it can be nerve-racking at times to constantly argue with the one whom you love the most.
What Should You Do If Your Girl Is Picking Fights With You?
You often think, “I want her to know that I love her and that I'm committed to her. I don't want her to doubt that for even a second.” But confused, how to do that.
Being a good lover isn't just about techniques. It's about communicating a vision of happiness that she buys into, and then conveying that vision to her in concrete terms.
The most loving act is to satisfy her desires in a way that fulfills her most basic need for a manly man. And, true love comes from knowing what a woman wants and giving it to her in the way that best allows her to experience it. It's really quite simple.
- Follow her lead even if she wants to distance herself
She wants to feel the anticipation, the desire, the fun of wondering whether you will come to her, soothe her, tame her, relieve her. She doesn't want you avoiding her.
Just do it and remember how great it feels when she happily runs into your arms. you need to understand her nature and understand why she does what she does.
Understanding a woman's mind and behavior is not only a life skill that improves your relationship with her, it's also a necessary skill for genuine understanding of the opposite sex in general.
- Rescue her from the 'Cold' alone mindset
A man should be a leader of his woman's inner life and provide the certainty and strength she needs to let her relax into her excited, free nature, and feel fully alive. What does it take for a man to do that? He has to rescue her from the 'cold' alone mindset. He has to be more powerful than her pain and all her negativity.
A man who has his head screwed on straight knows that he is willing and able to keep a woman happy after she's put him on the pedestal. A lot of men think they have to make her feel better because they don't want to be a burden on her. They're so concerned about not being like all the other guys who "let" their woman feel bad, that they end up doing more harm than good.
Never try to figure out why she is mad, and never ask her if she's "still mad". Those are questions you should not ask. They are like asking a drowning man about the weather.
Instead, ask if there is something you can do to help. Let her take complete control of the situation, as long as it's safe for her. If you do this, I'm pretty confident she'll eventually cave in and tell you what's troubling her.
- Replace her uncertainties with love
Women like to get things off their chest, and this includes their insecurities Usually when she’s being self-deprecating, she wants you to fill her with certainties. Love the need of being loved. Love the want of being wanted.
Rapaciously pursue her affections and do whatever you can to make her feel seen, understood, appreciated, and heard.
Above all, be sure that when she speaks that you listen as if you are hearing her for the very first time. Pay attention. Be with her. Let her shine like the birthday girl. Relish in her reflected light.
3 Signs You Are On The Right Track
Okay so let's dive in and find the signs that indicate you are on the right track.
#1 You Always Look Up To Make Her Feel Special
You always look up to make her feel special. And what every woman should hope for is that her partner never stops making her feel special. This is one of the most important things you can do to maintain harmony in your relationship, because feeling secure and feeling loved, are directly linked.
#2 She Feels More Liberated Around You
From the woman's standpoint, she is so glad that you're there to handle any kind of problem. You've let her feel truly feminine and protected. She also feels secure in knowing there is only one man in her life and no matter what, you will always come back to her because you know that's where your fulfillment lies.
#3 More Love On Your Way
Once you know how it feels to be a man that women crave, respect, and admired, you'll never want to go back to being a schmuck with women. Once you are your woman's man, she'll love you more than you could have ever hoped. And she'll be happier than she's ever been.
What I Want YOU To Remember
- It may seem like when a girl argues with you it's a sign of a fight or an argument. In reality, arguments are sometimes the only way she can let you know she needs your love and undivided attention.
- If she begins to argue with you, be romantic with her. Give her positive attention. The rest of her arguments will dry up. If you give them the attention they crave, it will give them a lot of positive feelings which they will then want to pay back by giving you positive feelings too!
- It is through respect that you can teach your lover how to listen actively. It is through being willing to listen, knowing when to push and when to step back, loving and teasing with respect that the warrior in you can learn the skill of listening actively.
- I feel like a lot of people waste time, effort and concentration by focusing on the 'bad' or 'wrong' things people say about them. The thing is, it's not the words that matter. It's what's behind those words. There's a tendency to forget that our feelings change. There's nothing permanent about them. By taking some time to observe them, we can make peace with our feelings and avoid being overrun by them.
Research suggests that people who can openly resolve their differences with their partners are happier and more in love. When you resolve a conflict, you know that your partner is on your side and invested in making your relationship work.
If arguing is a part of life in your relationship, there might be nothing wrong with that or it might be another sign that there’s trouble brewing. If someone is consistently being defensive or constantly sets off defensive alarms within you, it may be time to see what the issue really is.
Deciding to go for couple therapy does not necessarily make you a failure in your relationship. It is a brave and wise decision that involves looking at your own behavior, and that of your partner, trying to work out where things start going wrong, and putting in place some new strategies to improve the situation.
Lots of couples fight, but if you argue a lot it's important to understand what's normal and what isn't. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I hope you found it helpful. Also, remember that these issues are common and you're not alone. We can all get better at communicating with each other.