The Female Mind Control Handbook
If you pose an out-of-the-blue and uncomfortable question before your partner, she is liable to lose her temper. A relationship is built on trust, and by asking her if you are being cheated upon, you shake the entire foundation. It can have a disastrous effect if you lack solid reasons to explain such sudden displeasing interrogation.
You were on a date with your girlfriend. She is wearing a different perfume. She is busy texting on her phone rather than talking to you. You haven't got intimidated for some time now, and she is not complaining. Something irks you, and without a second thought, you ask her if she is cheating on you. Instead of complaining or loving, she is taken up by fury and leaves the table at once. What can be the possible reasons? How can you handle the situation? Let's find out.
Why Is She Getting Mad?
Your girlfriend is getting mad at you because she feels you don't trust her anymore. She is either disappointed in your lack of trust or her inability to win your trust. However, it's always better to get a deeper understanding of the situation first.
#1 She Is Hurt
You have hurt her feelings by indirectly declaring that you see there is scope for her to cheat on you. You might feel this way because you are not too good-looking or not well appreciated in her books. However, if you have greater cause to behave this way, express it before her and resolve it earliest.
#2 She Is Loyal
She is getting mad at you because even the thought of cheating on you never crossed her mind. While she thought that you two understood each other well and went great with one another, you shook all her ground and proved that it was all a mere illusion.
#3 She Is Guilty
She took offense to your interrogation because she is guilty. She is cheating on you, and while she thought she could fool you easily, you are proving her wrong. It might be the first time when a guy suspected her of adulteration. It was too much to bear for her.
#4 She Is Shocked
She is blank and does not know how to react to this sudden turn of conversation. She is taking some time to absorb the question being posed before she comes up with an answer.
#5 She Loves You
She is mad at you because she is deeply in love with you. Had the same question come from someone else, it wouldn't have had the same effect.
#6 She Is Pretending
She is not mad at you for real; she is just surprised by your audacity to think of her as a cheater and acting to be mad to freak you out.
#7 You Do Not Understand Her
She feels like you don't understand her. The very thought makes her lose her mind. She has high expectations from you, and when you think she might be cheating on you, she feels you have failed to understand her feelings.
#8 She Is Sensitive
She is an introvert who prefers to communicate without using verbal expressions. She is sensitive. You may be the only person she opens up to. She finds it demeaning to question her love like that.
#9 She Is Not Seriously Into You
It indicates that she takes you for granted, and rather than understanding why such a question of doubt surfaced in the first place, she prefers to be dismissive about it to avoid further confrontation.
#10 She Is Short Tempered
She feels that he is not the right guy if her guy doubts her. She loses her patience easily, which might have rendered her incapable of thinking deeply.
Why Do You Feel She Is Cheating On You?
It is important that before understanding her or getting answers from her, you should try to understand how your mind works. Why do you feel your girl might be cheating on you is the greatest essence here. Let us try to understand the reasons which prompted such a question.
#1 You Do Not Trust Her
When you are committed to somebody, you don't just expect the other person to love you unconditionally and trust you infinitely. You must do the same. Your question tells us that you don't trust your girlfriend in the first place. Even if you have reasons to question her like that, there is a complete lack of articulation. It sounds like you wanted to target the nail right on the head, and you got it there right.
Note for You: Learn to trust her. A relationship without trust is as useless as life without love.
#2 You Trust Someone Else
Questioning your girlfriend on a sensitive topic that shows your hesitation of trusting her completely indicates at the same time that you have invested her share of trust in someone else. Such questions reveal more about you than it does about her.
Note for You: Learn to invest your trust in the right person. The person you hold closest to your heart must be the one you trust the most.
#3 You Are Testing Her
It might mean that you were trying to test her and see if you can catch her red-handed by bringing her down to a sudden confession but be on guard as the table can swiftly turn, and you will discover yourself to be sitting on the other side of interrogation. Before initializing such questions, make sure you have a ready answer if the same query is thrown at you.
Note for You: You are supposed to love her. Direct all your actions in loving her.
#4 She Is Neglecting You
Your girlfriend has been neglecting you, and you were craving her attention. You pose a question that will get you thinking, and now you have all her attention.
However, there are much better ways to secure your partner's attention than to bring trust issues into question. It might help you secure attention for a short while, but the ultimate result might be less favorable and more bitter.
Note for You: Pamper her. Send her little tokens of reminders to show her how much she means to you.
#5 You Are Curious To See Her Reaction
You prompted the question randomly because you wanted to see her reaction. Does she goes into some deep thought, or she makes an angry face, or she laughs it off. She, on the other hand, chooses to be mad at you. It suggests that she is disappointed with you, and she was expecting a better understanding between the two of you.
Note for You: Satiate your curiosity with positive affirmations. You are together to make the journey beautiful, not tedious.
#6 You Haven't Made Out In A While
It might be your way of inviting her to get cozy. If she knew you well, she would have taken the hint. Her getting angry indicates that either she is not in a good mood or doesn't know you as well as she might have thought.
Note for You: Take her out on a date and spend some quality time together.
#7 She Has Stopped Fighting With You
It might mean that you are too bored, and your relationship has never been much off the mark. While all your friends get into little fights with their girlfriend just to keep the spark on, you thought you might want to try it too but unfortunately got it wrong.
Note for You: There are delightful ways to engage your girlfriend in battle rather than having a cold war together. Try something more romantic and less verbal.
#8 You Feel Insecure With Her
Either she is too sexy for you, or you still can't believe that she reciprocates your love with the same magnitude. Excess of jealousy often leads to such a situation. If your girlfriend has many guy friends or her best friend is a guy, that may have resulted in insecurity.
Note for You: She is your lady; you are her guy. Make your relationship official, and all worries will dissolve in thin air.
#9 You Are Insensitive
You don't care for your girlfriend's emotions. You are insensitive and selfish. All you look for is a straight jacket answer if something bothers you.
Note for You: Think with your heart rather than unnecessarily overusing your mind.
#10 You Are Stalking Her
An out-of-the-blue question indicates that you have been stalking your girlfriend, which gave you the reason to pose this question. If she is mad at you, then this stalking nature o9f yours pisses her off, and it's time you work on your habits.
Note for You: Stop stalking her. You can politely ask her about her whereabouts without hurting her feelings.
How To Make It A Meaningful Relationship?
The kind of verbal interaction and the lack of it between you and your partner tell a lot about your relationship. Do you fall in the stereotypical lovers, or is there something in the two of you that keeps you apart? Can you inspire others and raise the bar of relationship goals terrifically? Let's find out.
#1 Make It Strong
A rude question indicates the weakness of a relationship. It hints at the possibility of sinking the ship midway rather than making it through conveniently. An imposement of questions also shows a lack of mutual understanding. We like to date people we find ourselves compatible with. The very essence of compatibility is that it runs on mutual understanding and the same likeability.
Make your relationship stronger by finding answers together. Jot down your concerns on a list and discuss ways to arrive at their solutions rather than throwing questions at one another.
#2 Respect Each Other
The reason for miscommunication or lack of communication is a lack of respect. When there is respect, you lend your ears to the other person and try to understand their view even when you don't agree with them. Learn to respect each other even when you don't agree on some points. In that way, you shall complement and complete one another.
#3 Be Best Friends With One Another
A relationship is meaningful when you are friends with your partner. It is important that you share the comfort zone where you can openly ask your partner and clarify any doubts or grudges that you might be holding against one another. There should be no room for annoyance and no reason to filter your thoughts before giving them words.
#4 Be Future-Oriented
Ask questions that will foster better understanding and connection. Talk about the future. Ask questions regarding each other's interests and careers. Discuss s people and your favorite authors. Don't bread questions that give a trace of bitterness to the sweet equation.
Find The Solution Together
It might not have been appropriate to get mad at you on the part of your girlfriend. After all, you asked a one-word answer, did you not? She might have had a long day and was already feeling low when you posed that question. She came to you looking for comfort, but in turn, she got disappointment. Does it mean that she fails as a girlfriend? Perhaps not. It was just bad timings.
Engage each other in rounds of questions and make some ground rules first. When she is in a better mood, express your concerns before us and tell her the ways in which she could have handled the situation rather than freaking out or getting mad at you.
#1 Answered You Politely
The first rule to any question is to give the answer. One can always stop at that. Tell her that her reply, a simple 'NO,' would have been appreciated.
#2 Invited You Over To Carry On The Session Of Interrogation
Perhaps she could have entertained the interrogation session, and that would have ended up in reconciliation of sorts.
#3 Reversed The Question
Tell her that she would ask you the same question in return. It would have been a vocal warm-up that would have eventually led to other overtures.
#4 Ignored The Question
If she was not in the right mood, then make it known to her that ignoring the question rather than getting mad at you would have been harmless.
Should You BreakUp?
Breaking up with your girlfriend is not the solution here. There might be a lack of communication or misunderstanding, which led to bitterness on both sides. Breaking up with someone because they are mad at us is never the right thing to do. If we love them truly, we must be patient with them.
Try to understand your girlfriend is feeling; try to see the case from her perspective. Did she feel humiliated by your questioning? Were you maintaining the right pitch while putting forth the question?
Blaming and doubting never takes effort. It comes easy, as does break up. It is staying back and working hard that matters. If you have love enough for both of you, it should not matter. Even if she went astray by degrees, your love would pull her back. Calm down and be patient.
Relationship issues can take a serious toll on our minds and breed toxicity in the process. It is always advisable to express things diplomatically rather than being too naive to point out something bothering us. The other person might fail to understand the depth of the issue, ultimately making it worse.
Always put yourself in their shoe and see if the same thing was said to you in a similar tone; how would it have felt. Remember, it is never too late to mend the situation.