It would feel great to see the 10-year-old Prom pictures on a Saturday evening while having a drink with your high-school sweetheart. I bet, it would.
We all loved High School Musical and fell in love with the cute love story of Troy and Gabriella. And we all imagined our fairy tale romance. We meet that special boy/girl in our high school, spend time and fall in love, and promise to be with each other forever.
Just so romantic. Isn’t it?
But does that happen in real life? Well, relationships are not that picture-perfect in real life.
It starts off on a very romantic note but not every ending is a happy ending. While some make it, most of all fail in their high-school relationship.
So, How Long Does The Average High School Relationship Last?
Teenagers between the age of 16 to 18 years have a high school relationship for about 1.5 to 1.8 years. Some high school relationships only last till they move to college. Yet, few high school relationships do end up in marriages but the ratio is quite low.
Don’t get disappointed seeing the numbers. Relationships are made of human souls. And it’s in your hand. If you and your partner want it, then you two can work for it to achieve it. Nobody has the power to ruin it.
High-school relationships may not have longevity but they do come with some amazing perks.
The Perks Of A High-School Relationship
- Your friendship turns into a relationship. And there’s nothing great than that. You two know each other very well so there is no awkward moments between you, no hesitation. You can just become the true self in front of your friend-cum-partner. It’s a win-win situation for both of you. Trust me, almost 9 out 10 couples have admitted, that their relationship only started because of their solid friendship.
- Having fun with friends. So when you are in a relationship in your high school, you have a bunch of friends with whom you hang around and have fun. The fun just doubles up when you start hanging out with your boyfriend/girlfriend. You get a cute couple’s name from your friends. They tease you guys sometimes. All of you watch a movie and party together. Life seems just perfect.
- Study becomes stress less. Both of you can share your problems regarding study and solve them together. It can also be a great excuse to ask permission from parents and sneak out together. You certainly become stress-free as you have your partner to take all that worry away from you.
- Cute romantic dates. High school dates are the most romantic ones. Couples are usually tight on budget so they try to find some innovative ways to spend time together. They spend extra time in the library and speak in a hushed voice. They try to get on to the same Science project because you know it’s no more a boring school assignment. Spending time at the park in the summer, or watching a game together, or going for long walks after school is the cutest way to spend time together.
- Going to the Prom night together. You should consider yourself lucky when you already have a girlfriend/boyfriend. You don’t have to wait for somebody to ask you to be your Prom night partner. Show up in your co-ordinating couple dress and steal that show on that memorable high school prom night.
- Sweet surprises. Teenagers are emotional and they take their relationships very seriously. They make sure to keep their partner happy always. So be ready to find a bunch of roses on your desk or your chocolate in your bag. Your boyfriend/girlfriend will find new ways to surprise you with your favorite things every now and then.
My childhood friend Pam met her boyfriend when she was 17. Both of them went on a school trip together and became friends. And that friendship did not take much time to turn into a relationship.
She told me how much fun she had in her high school relationship. She said- “We sneaked out after school and spent a lot of time together beside the lake. We talked about our favorite movies, favorite foods and everything felt so good.”
At this age, teenagers are full of emotions and they are genuine about their feelings. They confess whatever they feel. They love without inhibition, even without realizing the deep meaning of love.
But Even Having So Many Perks, Why Do High School Relationships Fail?
Well, a relationship is not always about fun and cute dates. It’s much more than that.
#1 Different Priorities
As soon as one finishes their high school, they need to plan for their future- which college they want to go to, which course they want to study, how to prepare for that, etc. And in doing all these together most teenagers misses the balance.
The girlfriend wants to spend the weekend studying for the exam while the boyfriend wants to go to a movie. Clashes start with such simple problems. The more you grow up, the more life challenges you face and you have to make a decision for yourself. So when the partners have different priorities or can’t find a middle ground, things start crashing down.
#2 Exploring College Life
The next step after high school is college. Not every couple lands up in the same college. Couples who move to different colleges find it very difficult to keep their relationship together. College life comes with its own advantages, fun and exciting things. One gets really busy exploring this whole new world of a college. And not to forget, you have to carry on with your studies as well.
So in between all these, the relationship takes a backseat and never really gets a chance to come in the front. The inevitable result is a breakup. Even high school couples who made it to the same college could not hold onto their relationship. They found new friends, new hobbies and just realized she/he was not the One. So they just call it off and find a new way for themselves.
#3 Not Serious About The Future
Most high school relationships start on a casual date. Teenagers are more interested in having fun and taking pictures for Social Media than actually be serious about each other. They take things very casually hoping that they will just go with the flow. Until they realize that the flow has some other plans.
These couples never talk about what do they want in their relationship, how will they manage time for each other after the end of high school, can they manage a long-distance relationship if needed. Couples never go into deep and talk about their feelings or likes and dislikes about their partner to get a solution, they just look at the fun side of it. So when any serious problems arise, they fail to handle them like mature couples and break their relationship.
#4 Fighting Too Much
A relationship will have ups and downs. But when you only find yourself fighting with your partner, there got to be something wrong. Teenagers fight even for the silliest of reasons. For not picking up the phone, not meeting one Saturday, talking to that other “girl” in the class and the reasons are endless. They only focus on the petty things of life and miss out on the bigger picture.
They want everything- love, time, attention, friendship, and romance and all at the same time. And it is hard especially for a 17 yeard old teenager to go through so many things. So the result is endless fights, then blocking each other on Whatsapp or Instagram. Nobody likes to be with a person with whom you only fight. Thus, the ultimate outcome is again break up.
#5 Lack Of Trust
Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Couples who have been in relationships for ten years have had trust issues. No wonder a high school couple would face them too. This age is vulnerable and the emotions are fragile. Girlfriends or boyfriends in high school tend to become possessive and get jealous.
Boys don’t like it if their girlfriends ask for help from a senior or even talks about a boy who has helped them in class. On the other hand, girls start suspecting their boyfriends if they find too many comments of a girl on their boyfriends’ posts. Clearly, this is a sign of lack of trust and the end result is never good. Gradually it only gets worse and the trust issue then leads to insecurity. All these can never make a high school relationship successful.
#6 Change Of Feelings:
Change is the only constant and it’s no exception in terms of feelings as well. Since high school couples experience haywire of emotions, they grow out of feelings quite rapidly too. Initially, they invest a lot in their high school relation. They spend time with each other, buy icecreams make cards on Valentine’s day but the more the relationship progresses they find themselves in an odd position.
They start feeling a lack of emotional attachment. They feel disinterested in meeting or talking to them. Some even start developing feelings for other boys/girls. When you don’t have strong feelings for your partner, a relationship will surely drown.
#7 Not Enough Space
High school couples feel that they need to be together all the time. They barely have their own life. It’s always centering around their relationship. While it might seem good in the first few days, things get quote irritating with each passing day. Not giving space becomes a huge issue and in search of one’s own space, they break up.
Pam’s relationship lasted till she moved to a different college after high school. John, her school boyfriend always called her up while she was in college. He never liked whenever Pam wanted to go out with her college friends for a movie or a game. He always checked her phone and never trusted her. Although Pam tried different ways to work things between them, John’s behavior towards her did not change.
Pam confessed “He was getting on my nerves. I never even had time for myself or my family. I always had to be with him or talk to him on the phone. I was missing our old relationship which was just full of fun. I finally had to cut off all connections with him owing to his annoying nature.”
Few Tips On How You Can Make Your High School Relationship Long Lasting?
Different high school couples experience different issues in their relationship. But not every high school relationship is a failure. If you are in a high-school relationship and you want a future with your high school sweetheart, here are some awesome tips:
- Make time for each other. After passing high school, you will not have the same schedule in college. So both of you need to make a solid plan. Chalk out the best time to talk and catch up. Meet every weekend and spend quality time with each other. When you two consistently give each other time and attention, your relationship will be only stronger.
- Communicate your thoughts and feelings. Yes, no matter what tell what you are feeling and be honest about it. If there is a problem or a thing you don’t like, tell it to your partner and find a solution. Don’t just sit and assume and expect your partner to read your mind. Communication can solve every issue and couples who communicate more, stay together longer.
- Get a clear picture of the future. Be sure what you want. Ask yourself is it a casual fling or there is a scope for a future. When both of you know what you want in your relationship, it is going to be a cakewalk.
- Putting that extra effort. Efforts will never go in vain. So keep making efforts and never take your relationship for granted. If she is angry with you, make sure you put a smile on her face before she sleeps. These little gestures will always make sure that your relationship doesn’t become fragile.
- Grow as individuals. You might have different goals and ambitions. But if you are committed to your partner, nobody or nothing can come in between. So give your partner’s likes, dislikes, preferences, ambitions importance and promise each other that you will never hurt their feelings or break their trust. It is important that you grow as an individual and then only will your relationship flourish.
So never let numbers decide the future of your relationship. If two souls are in love with each other truly, love will show its way to them.