The Female Mind Control Handbook
A long-distance relationship can be a very unique experience, and sometimes it's not easy to navigate. Missing your partner is normal. As we grow closer to someone, we start to imagine possibilities for the future together. We come up with a life together and build it up in our heads. We miss the little moments more than the big ones. You both have responsibilities that pull you away from each other, or maybe you’re living far apart and rarely see each other.
Let's find out what's the exact reason.
So Why Do You Feel Lonely In Your Long Distance Relationship?
If you feel lonely in your relationship, it could be a sign that there’s a lack of intimacy. This feeling is likely amplified when there are problems in our relationship and when we have to deal with them over the phone or social media, instead of face to face.
But if you're willing to put in the effort a long-distance relationship requires, it can also teach you some really valuable skills and even strengthen existing relationships.
Just because you're being separated by miles doesn't mean your relationship can't be close. With a little bit of extra effort and communication, staying close in a long-distance relationship is always possible.
My partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship for about 7 months now. Living in different cities I knew that it would be hard to be together but I had no idea how difficult it was going to be.
I know he truly loves me and that I’m everything to him. It’s just sometimes it tires me out. He always tells me how much he loves me but then there are times where it’s like he doesn’t care about my feelings at all. He would be playing a game and he doesn’t even bother to take time off just to talk with me.
I’ve noticed that when you’re not literally with the person, that you want an extreme amount of attention and care because a lot of it comes in physical form. So being away from him makes me have desires of being with him that much more. I want to see him and kiss him and spend time talking with him.
6 Ways You Can Beat The Blues Of Loneliness
Here comes the first.
#1 It Is The Right Time Fuel YOUR Passion
Living in a long-distance relationship can be tough, but it's important to stay social and to have your hobbies. We shouldn't expect our partners to be everything to us. We should make time for friends and recreation outside the relationship to not depend on just one person. This will relieve some of the loneliness we feel because our partner is on the other side of town or country. A healthy LDR won't cause you to feel lonely but will instead encourage you to have a life outside your partner.
Whatever your passions are, make sure you continue to work on the outside of the relationship. Once you start making time for your hobbies, you’ll probably meet some new people to do things with. You can build confidence and become more independent, which in turn makes the relationship better for everybody involved.
#2 Understand The Value Of Your Friend’s And Family
Having a close relationship with your friends and family is a really good way to make sure that you feel loved and accepted at any time. When you are in a long-distance relationship, they can offer some kind of support in case you ever feel you are facing troubles. They can be someone who understands you completely and someone who will listen to you whenever you need it.
I have been lucky because my sister has always been there for me. Even before I met my partner she has guided me through a lot of things. She has always been my shoulder to cry on, listened to me when nothing else seems to make sense. Most importantly, she’s never judged me for anything, even if it was detrimental to me.
So in short, stay strong, understand that your friends and family love you for who you are as well as your relationship, and that it’s OK not to be OK all the time. If normal means being ‘OK’ then we shouldn't ever have to feel bad about ourselves. As long as you're trying your best to take care of yourself and find ways to make your situation work for you then there is no reason to feel bad about it!
#3 Block A Time In Google Calendar For Your Daily Calls
Being in a long-distance relationship can seem like the world is closing in on you. The absence makes it difficult to deal with daily life. There are simple ways of changing your thinking when you’re in such a rut—a daily practice that can help you get through these times and regain your perspective.
Don't just call your long-distance lover when you feel lonely. Instead, set up a specific time to talk (such as every day at lunch or in the evenings after work on weekdays when the two of you are most likely to be free). Not only will this make the times between calls more enjoyable, but it'll also give you more to talk about!
It's all about the routine. With a regular time set aside for calls, you'll have an idea in advance of how long you'll be talking. Having a specific time and knowing that two people are going to talk is more special than random calls because you don't know when the other person is going to call.
How You Can Manage If You Missed A Time, Just Because You Were Genuinely Sleepy? (A Cheesy Message Like This May Save You)
I was so tired last night that even if love were a drug, I couldn’t have done it. As if I needed more proof that distance is harsher on relationships! I need you extra-badly today, honey. Please call me soon.
#4 SPEAK Your Mind
Long-distance relationships are tricky. I’m sure you both understand that your relationship is not physical. It goes deeper than physical. You have to communicate and work it out if you want it to last. Long-distance relationships are tricky. I’m sure you both understand that your relationship is not physical. It goes deeper than physical. You have to communicate and work it out if you want it to last.
Don’t let the silence around what you want or need to say make things worse. It helps to be able to talk about your feelings and concerns, to be honest with your partner about how you are feeling, and to find solutions that work for both of you.
#5 BE POSITIVE, DON’T BE PESSIMISTIC
Together, you are stronger than each of you is alone. You are a formidable team whose relationship will grow stronger with time. Being realistic doesn’t mean being pessimistic. This means that you know there will be times when your partner is busy or temporarily distracted and won't be able to talk with you. It’s best not to dwell on this matter; instead, look ahead and imagine how exciting it will be when the two of you meet again in person!
TRY YOURSELF: When negative thoughts about the separation arise, try this simple tactic: Focus on something that you appreciate about him and imagine how great it will be to re-experience those traits together again. This is a happy place to be.
#6 Loving Yourself Is Paramount To Having A Healthy Relationship
While it’s great to have someone who can meet all your needs, you may not always be able to have everything you need from the one you love. But that shouldn't stop you from making yourself happy!
You can always find ways to brighten up and add magic to your life by making your but simple rituals. Begin the day with a smile on your face. Spend five extra minutes in bed, sipping some coffee and just thinking about the day ahead of you. Get up slowly, cross off one thing on your list, and give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back.
You Are Not Alone
Loneliness in a long-distance relationship can be dealt with using the internet to find like-minded people.
Chatting with people who are going through the same thing as you make it easier to understand and deal with loneliness. You can also get better at supporting your loved one when you share experiences and learn how other couples grow strong relationships after great distances.
Your friends and family may be able to help, but they may not be able to empathize.
In online groups, you can also get a lot of great advice from other long-distance couples. You can ask them anything, and get support from people who know what it’s like.
Having a long-distance relationship isn't always easy but there are a lot of little things that you can do to keep you and your partner feeling connected. If I had known these things before I started my relationship with Ryan, it would have made things easier for me.
10 Little Things Long-Distance Couple Must Do To Keep Loneliness At Bay
So let's find out what are those.
- Texting can be impersonal, but a voice note can be intimate
Sending your long-distance partner a quick voice note goes above and beyond the simple texts, we all send. Not only does a quick voice note make your partner feel special, it unsticks them from the day today. Send it in the middle of the day to surprise them, or write one in the evening before bed to let them know all about your day.
- Surprises to bring a broad grin on their face
I think if you and your partner are apart for a long time, small unexpected gifts from you help them feel less lonely. If it's feasible for you to surprise them with a gift in person, that's great too! Just make sure they don't spend your entire trip complaining about all the money you're spending on travel.
Pro tip: Often when people feel lonely, they start to feel unappreciated. Giving them a small gift can help alleviate this in a way that saying
- Keep planning for days to come
It may seem like you are doomed to an eternity of long-distance, but that isn't necessarily the case. Every day that you spend apart is a day that you've earned together, and you can remind yourself of that fact. It's also okay to fantasize about specific moments when you and your partner will be in the same place again.
Even over Skype—the only long-distance relationship I've experienced myself—you can hear the excitement in your partner's voice when he or she starts talking about your shared future. The feeling that you're in it together and that, despite the distance, you're moving toward a happier time together makes everything much easier.
- Social media shout-outs
Social-media shout-outs are little things you can do to make your long-distance partner feel less lonely. You don't have to be the next Shakespeare in person or on social media - just say, "I'm thinking of you" in whatever style feels most natural and authentic for you.
- Let your imagination run wild and dream big- where would you want to go?
Vacation is the most effective way to get through a long-distance relationship. If you have a plan for something exciting coming up, it can make a huge difference in your mood and your relationship.
- One strategy that I've found particularly helpful
When you spend days apart, little things help. The more you share of your life than the closer the two of you will feel.
There are many little ways to stay connected in a long-distance relationship. One strategy that I've found particularly helpful is sharing a photo every morning and responding with the same when your partner sends one. The key is to actually take and send the pictures consistently!
Every day, I send my partner a picture of something that I’m doing and then I wait for him but to do the same. It's just that I want our day to intertwine in little bits and pieces from across the country. "Here's how my day started," I might have texted with a picture of my messy bed. And he will respond with a picture of her morning routine
- Online movie date
As I sit in a tiny apartment drinking a bottle of wine that I'm sharing with someone I adore back home, all I'm missing is the cozy, cuddly feeling that only a huge bag of buttery popcorn can bring. But despite my longing for crunchy dinner-theatre goodness, this is one of those times when technology has come to my aid.
The best part of technology is that you can use it to be with the people you love, no matter how far away they are. Hell, you don't even have to get dressed to do it!
- Send gifts to your partner that reminds of you
Saying 'I love you’ is great, but sometimes it's nice to do things that show how much you care about someone. If your partner is long-distance, try sending a gift. It will show them that they are on your mind and can make them smile while they are away from you.
Send them something they can sleep with, like a blanket or your hat, that you’ve slept in before. By sharing your scent on something soft, it feels like you’re there at night when they go to sleep.
- Boardgame every weekend
Depending on your long-distance relationship, you will be missing out on the biggest factor of being in the same place — physical contact. But with games that you can play over Skype or other video chat programs, you essentially have an entire game night without anyone ever having to leave their chair. Playing games is one of the great joys of relationships.
We play at least one board game every weekend to keep the spark in our relationship, A big part of sharing a life with someone is not just living together and having dinner. It's taking time for each other even when you don't have to."
- Keep the romance alive
Being in a long-distance relationship is about keeping the romance alive even though you're not physically there with your partner. We tend to get caught up in our daily lives and forget about the little things that romantic relationships are made of. With these little things, a loving relationship will live on. It’s important to recognize even better than feeling loved when giving them, the sense of kindness you create when you give them. Let your special someone know you’re thinking about them with a kind message. Loved ones will receive a notification and it will lift their spirits!
Long-distance relationships require grit and determination, but the reward will be sweet. Because you know what you have to lose, you're more protective of your partner and are less likely to allow any superficial relationship problems to bubble up. The fact that there's a geographical barrier makes it easier when you want to take a break from each other, and although that calls for more self-discipline on your end, it also forces you to prioritize each other and your relationship above all else in life.