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Why He Kissed Me Then Said We're Just Friends?

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Kissing is undoubtedly a gesture of love, affection, and respect. Nevertheless, the same can be a momentary reflection of hormones raging in a person’s body! This is funny but true to its core.

Yes, every kiss comes with a hidden meaning behind it. People generally tend to kiss each other when they’re in love. Tbh otherwise casual kisses don’t just stop at kissing! You know what I mean! But sometimes people get indulged in kissing may due to the hit of the moment or simply due to an infatuation. They can be just two friends, classmates, and colleagues. 

You must understand that human minds are not something very easy to predict. Rather it’s the exact opposite. So, sometimes it tends to behave weirdly, maybe without any logic or proper definitions. Such a weird situation is just two friends kissing each other!

So, have you gone through the same situation? Maybe you started feeling for him but he is still saying that you’re just two friends. Eventually, you got yourself utterly confused and maybe heartbroken, and looking for the reason why he kissed you! 

So, why do such incidents happen? Look, If he kisses you and still labels this connection as “We are just friends”, be sure that either he’s coming from a confused state of mind or he’s commitment-phobic. Or maybe it’s his subconscious that is attracted towards you physically!

Do not worry sweetheart, you are not the only one trying to make your way out of this confusing situation. In this write-up today, I will be disclosing the reason behind his kisses and why he still calls it just a friendship. Read on!

Are You Guys Just Friends OR More?

To proceed with this topic of discovering whether you are just friends or more, the first step is to take a close look at where your connection is standing currently. 

If you both share a good friendship, spend fun time hanging out, do all those university activities and engage in discovering new adventures together, a few causal kisses on the cheeks will always mean this man is a caring friend. If you’ve watched the popular TV show F.R.I.E.N.D.S, you might be quite familiar with this. Remember, how the six iconic personalities often used to kiss each other! That’s how friendly kisses are meant to be, not like the way in which Chandler once kissed Phebe and Rachel! 😛

If you people have kissed each other on lips or smooched and yet he is calling you “just friends”, this situation needs a straight and open conversation to clear this up.

However, if you both are in that transition phase before entering a relationship, here are a few checkpoints I would like my readers to tick off.

  • Deep emotional engagement

If your man is deeply engaged with you at an emotional level, consider it as a good sign of your connection. We, human beings are often emotionally closed off and many of us dislike portraying our emotional soft-corner to everyone. No, not even to the person whom we feel for.

However, if he feels comfortable not only kissing but also showing you his vulnerable side, you are undoubtedly important to him and he indeed values this connection. 

  • Quality time together
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Another great way to test the waters you are standing in is by analyzing the amount of quality time you both spend together doing interesting stuff and how this self-claimed ‘just friend’ of yours feels or reacts during those times. Spending quality time one-on-one will often feel good and make you both happy from the heart if you two are emotionally closed.

And most importantly, it will never be based on having friends all around you or spending time only in groups. If he loves spending time alone with you, having deeper talks, enjoying a cup of coffee, or a beautiful evening walk, it means he finds that comfort with you.

  • Romantic gestures to make you feel special 

He not only kiss you but also treating you with little romantic gestures like bringing you small gifts, taking you to surprise dinners, often asking you for going out, or treating you with some extra care and chivalry, or being over-protective and possessive. If it is so, he is maybe a bit nervous to spill his truth to you, and hence hiding behind the ‘just friends’ tag. 

  • Complete acceptance

The level of comfort both of you share with each other is another checkbox to be ticked. Does he feel and act romantic about all those kisses with you? Or is he just trying to pass some good romantic but casual time? The way a man behaves with you often reveals the comfort he feels while being together. It is a good sign if he is being comfortable with you. 

But be careful not to compromise your boundaries for the same. 

You see, how these checkpoints are already a beautiful way to test the depth of the connection with this person you’ve kissed and are now confused. However, if you are still not sure, I recommend having an open and clear conversation with him about the depth of this connection.

During this conversation, you may ask how much you actually mean to him, what is your significance in his life, and talk about how you feel about him. 

But always be honest and straight with your word while having such an intense conversation. Talk exactly how you feel it. Always remember, a proper conversation is a potential solution to most of the issues faced in the world. 

Reasons He Calls You “Just friend”

Well, as we already know where this connection stands in his life, it is time to take a look at all possible reasons he is calling you a friend. 

As I mentioned earlier many people are often shy and are great at hiding their honest feelings towards whom they feel for. This is mostly because they do not want to reveal their vulnerability and maintain the toxic stereotype of male EGO. 

However, there can be various other possible reasons a person can refer to this connection with you as just friends, even after those beautiful romantic kisses. Here are a few points that I have covered below to set some viable examples.

He Has Memories From A Past Breakup

Oftentimes the past leaves stain hard enough to spoil our present days. If your man has been through a traumatic past breakup, chances are he will overthink before indulging with someone new. No matter how many beautiful reasons you give him to live in this present moment with you, he will always be fearful to start a new relationship.

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However, those kisses are undoubtedly a sign that he is attracted to you and may want to start afresh, but all the fears from the past are holding him back. The only way he sustains is by calling you a friend. 

He Is Fearful About Spoiling The Friendship With You

You both are great friends. Before proceeding to any romantic relationship, you and this guy are the best of partners in sweet crimes and enjoy each other’s company all the time. When it comes to kissing and embracing your beautiful face and lips, he never fails, as he has already started developing feelings for you. But, the fear of a ruined friendship is stopping him from calling this connection a beautiful relationship officially! And in such situations, he may end up referring to this connection as ‘just friendship’.

He Is The “Hot Guy” At High School Or University

Well, I know you may have already guessed it right. He is this popular “hot guy” at your high school or university. All other women simply go “Ga-Ga” over him and surround him all the time. He enjoys all this attention of the world, but when it comes to love, it is you who stirs his heart and his kisses say it all. 

Huh! No less than a romantic comedy, right? But it is a tougher choice on his part to choose between attention or a pure connection and due to this confusing state of mind, he eventually ends up calling you ‘just friend’. Let time teach him some sweet things this time.

He Is Commitment Phobic

The fear of commitment is not rare among men. The main reason behind this is that men often feel they will lose their freedom after a committed relationship. Also, if he has never been in a relationship before, commitment phobia comes naturally to him. The fear of messing up with a beautiful and valuable friendship often conquers their mind. They lose the ability to commit to you and keep delaying a real conversation about the same. 

There is always a need to heal their past trauma or commitment phobia on the part of the man. However, if he fails to do so and you suffer from constant confusion, it is better to make your way out of this situation

He Needs More Time To Explore This Connection

Well, this is true for men who need more time to build the base right of a relationship. Of course, he enjoys your company and loves to spend time with you, he enjoys kissing your face and is moving to more stable ground. However, by calling you a friend, he is trying to mean that he needs to know more about you before making this connection an official declaration to his friends and family. 

I see this coming from statical men, who always take calculated risks. Love is no exception to them! 😉

He Is Emotionally Unavailable

Multiple failed relationships in the past, abusive childhood, emotionally unavailable parents are some of the major reasons behind any person closing themselves off emotionally. Your partner or better to say, a potential partner in this connection is no exception.

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Maybe he has closed himself off from all and any emotional encounter. Expressing his genuine feeling for you falls under the same category and refrains from speaking his emotional truth constantly. 

However, the kiss is most probably a kind of drug to escape the reality of the fears he is living within. This situation often can turn into a toxic connection, if not healed early.

He Receives Mixed Signals From You

Well, all this while I have narrated about his inner realities that are reflected through his actions. However, in case you are throwing out mixed signals of confusion about where he is standing in your life, he will call you friends and yet kiss you.

It is always better to take a few steps back and watch the kind of signals you send your man and act from self-awareness, rather than blaming the one in front. You can find self-evaluation a highly effective tool in this regard. Check your approach and overall behavior and notice the difference. 

Signs That He Wants More With You

I understand how much it actually hurts when a guy refers to a connection as ‘just friends’ even after some romantic kisses. You already know the potential reasons why guys tend to do so.

But do you know that even after referring to this connection as just friends, you man can send you signals consciously and unconsciously through which he may try to reflect his honest feelings about you? If you want something to happen between you two, you must learn to identify those feelings.

If you have not yet noticed the positive signals reflected by him, this is all you should do at once! 

Here are a few ways you may check if your guy is interested in this connection with you.

  • Your man treats you well with respect and shows all sweet gestures to make you feel special, even when he is not kissing you. He respects your boundaries as a friend and makes clear communication whenever needed.
  • He requests you for more one-on-one quality time over coffee dates or movie time out. He will always try to find one way or the other to make sure you are in his close physical periphery. Your presence is valuable to him.
  • If he’s always trying to make direct eye contact with a slight curving smile on his face, even when you guys are in a group. This man has a real interest in knowing you more and loves to kiss you. However, only a clear open communication will reveal the WHY behind his calling this connection a friendship. 
  • His behavior shows all signs of possessiveness when you talk to any other man or especially when some other man tries to flirt with you. His brows are sure to get crooked when other men have their eyes on you. It clearly shows he is being possessive and has already developed feelings for you. 

You see there could be a dozen subtle signs when a man likes you. All you gotta do is know your man at best and you will know why he kisses you and yet calls you a friend. 

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