The Female Mind Control Handbook
Girls love to show off their boyfriends all the time! Is there an opportunity to broadcast about their boyfriend? They will hop like Catwoman and seize it. Yet this girl you talk to decides to hide her boyfriend. Why? Her boyfriend is no celebrity.
She drives you insane and makes you wonder whether she is lying. On the one hand, she is dating somebody and faking it on another side. Why is she playing you like that? She preferred not to mention her boyfriend due to diverse reasons.
But don't worry. I've got your back and have an awesome list of 13 reasons that will solve all your worry.
13 Reasons Why She Never Mentions Boyfriend To You
Keeping it private and retaining it a secret has two separate meanings. Private means this girl agrees she has a boyfriend but doesn't mention who he is, while secret implies denying she has a boyfriend. Let's swoop in and investigate.
#1 She Is Into You
If she texts you multiple times daily, asks for your opinion on small things, converses about serious topics that are too personal, likes to hang out with you means she likes you a lot. Usually, girls don't speak what they feel but indirectly want you to know through their actions. Tell their actions and words.
She likes you, that's why she is not telling you about her boyfriend. She thinks you will not be interested in her after learning about her relationship status. She is afraid to lose her luck with you, so she keeps quiet about it.
#2 She Wants To Keep It Secret
Notice her when she is around her buddies and any relationship-related topic comes up. Did she get involved in the discussion? If not, then she is keeping her relationship status hidden. That doesn't mean she is a liar or unfaithful.
The more people know, the more they chatter, the more drama is created. She is a mature and decent person who doesn't like opinions or gossip. Due to this reason, she never mentions her boyfriend to you, not because you spread rumors, but people you talk to might do. She is a private person by nature, and she likes to keep her personal life to herself and not show it off to the world.
#3 She Is An Introvert
She is somebody who keeps things to herself. She speaks only when required otherwise, she keeps quiet and never indulges in unnecessary talk. Introverts are bad at expressing themselves. Being tongue-tied about her boyfriend doesn't have any relation with you.
It means that she is timid and may have social anxiety. It's hard for her to share her relationship status as she is not used to such conversations and will look clumsy in such situations. That's why she chooses to stay quiet about her boyfriend.
#4 She Is Ashamed
People come in various structures and personalities. Of course, many say they don't judge, but that is not true. Judgment is a basic human trait, and people do that every day, but our judgment and criticism increase by 2x when it is about someone else. She might not be proud of her boyfriend.
It could be because of his looks, intellect, humor, etc. She is scared you will judge her choices after knowing she has a boyfriend who doesn't fit the macho tag everyone is hyped up about.
You may not have any intentions to do so, but the social circle we all live in is too frank to care about people's choices, which is why she feels discomfiting and anxious. She thinks it's more reasonable to be quiet than be outspoken about it.
#5 She Is On The Edge Of Break Up
Breakups are heavy, especially if you haven't broken up, but it still feels like a breakup. Still confused? Ask Ross Geller from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. the phrase "We Were On A Break." hurts more than actual breakup. She is going through the same phase. She is unclear whether it's the end or more misery for her.
She does not mention her boyfriend because she is about to break up, and it's too heartbreaking to share. On the other hand, she believes you don't know about her boyfriend. It means there is a possibility that you can be the lucky guy anytime. She doesn't want to lose her chance on you.
#6 She Doesn't Have A Reason
Things don't always have a purpose behind them. Sometimes situations are more straightforward, and our brain acts like that stubborn professor who tricks us into overthinking and complicating it for no reason at all. Not mentioning her boyfriend doesn't mean she has an underlying motive behind this.
Sometimes people concentrate on the current moment and flow with it rather than sharing private life. She likes to chat, go out with you, even play games, is a good companion of yours but never gave a hint about her boyfriend or maybe you never ask her properly.
Pop up the question about her boyfriend. She is someone who doesn't mind answering honestly.
#7 She Is A Flirt Queen
There is always a friend who flirts like it's their daily drill. It's like an addiction that requires dosage now and then. They go by the "Just Play and Slay, no hard feelings" rule. If this is the girl you are dealing with, it's obvious that she never mentions her boyfriend to you.
Why would she? Ever heard a female version of Joey Tribbiani being open about her boy? She is keeping her relationship under wraps and flirting her way out with you. In fact, you might not be the only one taking place in her inbox as well as her heart. There are other guys also with whom she is doing the same thing. So, the game is being played on you.
#8 She Is Seeking Social Status
Being a person everyone talks about is desirable these days. Online and offline social gatherings are all about "Did you know he/she did this?" Is this girl consistently the center of attention? If yes, she is concerned about her status. A single girl is more appealing to guys. That's the reason precisely why she never mentions her boyfriend to you.
She wants to have attention and become popular in your and your friend's eyes. Your friend, you ask? You talk to other guys and could bring her up in your conversation. The phrase you would use for her is "single," making her more alluring among other guys she may not even meet but becomes famous. Now she has something she can flaunt to her friends.
This girl thrives on what others assume about her, and if mentioning her boyfriend to you makes her less popular, then this will be the last thing she would do. It is a matter of dignity and lack of self-love.
#9 She Wants Something From You
This girl can be tricky to understand. She wants something from you, so she is learning about you and is attempting to take this friendship to a profound level. Is that something suspicious or casual? It can be anything simple from asking your help for assignments, exams, jobs, etc., to scan if you are a good grab for her friend, or, worse, taking payback for your grudge-holding ex.
You have to figure it out. Don't ask her instantly. It could change her next move. Wait for her to disclose what she wants from you. She will say something that can expose her motive. Keep track of what she talks about and observe her body language.
For example, ask her questions indirectly. "My ex Sara was such a character. I heard she is your friend. Did she talk about me?". Now notice her body language. If she blinks immensely, gets uncomfortable, or pauses before responding, she lies or hides something.
If you talk about work, study, or something you are passionate about, and she looks at you with huge eyes, that means she admires you and your knowledge.
#10 Her Boyfriend Is Toxic
Boyfriends are like an academic report card. They come with different grades. Some are bliss-like Prince Charming, while others can feel like survival in Game Of Thrones. I have a friend that exactly fits this type.
She tells me that her boyfriend doesn't like it when she hangs out with other men and questions her on little things. Keep a hawk-eye on her active status on social media. When she gets friendly with any guy, her boyfriend shamelessly messages that guy threatening to stay away from her girl. It is an open prison for her.
The girl you are dealing with doesn't mention her boyfriend to you because she is afraid that you might not be friends with her after knowing that she is with someone who can nitpick with you anytime and will accuse you of something you can't even think about. She doesn't want you to get affected by her boyfriend's drama.
#11 It's Too Stressful
In this case, she doesn't share her love life with others not because she is shy or awkward but because her relationship is full of melodrama and blues.
She knows if she starts, dialogues will go on for hours that will make her "the whining lady," so she doesn't mention it at all and tries her best to have amusing and delighted moments instead of sessions of sorrowful Shakespeare poems.
She is in no mood to complicate anything. She is just having a casual, chill time and doesn't want to bring her personal life on between fun conversations.
#12 She Doesn't Want To Lose You
Having a genuine friend who cares about you is rare these days. If you are that friend to her, then she doesn't want to lose you at any cost. She never mentions her boyfriend to you because you might get envious that she dedicates more time to her boyfriend than her caring friend.
She is a thoughtful person and will cut off any topic that can create a crack in your friendship. Friendship is way more meaningful than relationships. You are a lucky guy. Never let her go.
#13 She Is Bored
A relationship can't be the joys of spring all the time. It can quickly go from the curious first stage of Spongebob Square Pants to the annoying stage of Squidward Tentacles. Bonds lose their charisma with time. Their love expires, and a time arrives when people are attached for the sake of just physical pleasure.
She zips her lips when anything related to her boyfriend comes up. She got bored with him and didn't think much about him. She is just testing waters in the hope of encountering that spark again with someone else.
Does That Mean You Can Hit On Her?
Before I answer this, ask yourself what you want? Are you into her or not?
How to know if you like her?
- You want to know her more
- You like it when she compliments you
- When you see a group photograph, you only focus on her
- You make silly excuses to talk her
- You stare at her when she is not looking
- You often wonder how much familiar you both have
- You get anxious around her
- You get shy when your friends mock you with her name
- You daydream and imagine unrealistic scenarios about her
- The evidence that you are here to know if she is available or not
If you do three or more of these, you adore her deeply and can give it a shot. If not, then you are not interested and should not hit on her as it won't last for long, but if you like her, then how should you approach her? I got it wrapped for you.
Ideas That Will Help You To Approach Her
You have to be clear on where she stands with you. Begin a light conversation. Casually ask if she has a boyfriend. If she says yes, then switch the topic. You don't have to get involved in a third-party situation. It will only make the situation complex, a complete waste. If she denies it, then you have your opportunity.
- Start complimenting her more
- Approach her with a heartwarming smile
- Make eye contact when she talks about her interest to let her know you pay attention
- Remember little details and dates
- Take her about the places she enjoys
- Surprise her with a random gift
- Experiment with some pickup lines on her
- Be confident and ask her out directly
People have different mindsets on why they hide various things and topics from others. We should not overthink something we don't have command over. I understand it's tough to ignore when someone lies or hides from you, but that has nothing to do with you.
Their actions illustrate who they are. Don't get messed up in your mind for something you didn't do. Accept and believe them when they exhibit their actual colors and move on with your daily life.
*Note: Special thanks to Saisha for her contribution; Saisha is a contributing writer of Relationship Sort-Out. This article is reviewed and edited by our very own Ahiri C.