What Does It Mean When A Guy Flirts With You But Has A Girlfriend?

Adhideb Ghosh
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Flirting is a very common human phenomenon. Tbh, almost all of us flirt and enjoy it. Experts have even said that casual flirting is healthy for our minds. It helps to relieve the excess stress and provides our mind with some fresh air. By definition, flirting is a casual light-hearted thing. It starts maybe with eye contact and may end in dirty flattery talks, casual touches, etc. 

We all have enjoyed such light-hearted conversations, fluttery vibe, and love in the air thing at least once in our life. We all know how good flirting feels! But when these vibes come from a guy who has a girlfriend, things turn out to be different!

This is because women often expect the guy who’s flirting with them to be single. In nature, women have a tendency to appreciate and expect loyalty. Usually, they flirt very casually, but when a committed guy starts flirting things start getting serious. 

And if you’re now reading this blog, maybe some guy out there, who has already had a girlfriend flirt or has flirted with you. Now you’re confused. ‘Is he a jerk?’ ‘Does he like me?’ ‘Does he wanna use me somehow?’ questions like these have started revolving around your mind. Don’t worry, I’m gonna help you in this regard.

Hitting straight off the bat, now if you ask me if a committed guy flirts with you, what does it mean, I would say, It generally means that either he’s a jerk or something really complicated going inside his head. Maybe he’s not happy in his present relationship, he may find you attractive enough to warm up his existing dating skillsets, or he’s just a fickle-minded person who is not even committed to his self-commitment. 

However, these statements may not resonate with all my readers as there can be various other reasons why a guy in a relationship is flirting with you. To understand the exact meaning you have to observe the guy’s behavior closely and then decide accordingly. 

Rest assured, here is a write-up that will help you understand this situation better and make way for your mind to reach a state of mental clarity. 

Why Is A Guy With A Girlfriend Flirting With You?

A guy usually doesn’t need any reason to flirt with other girls. LOL! But sometimes when a committed guy gets into flirting with you, there could be certain reasons why most men are seen flirting. 

Look, casual flirting is very common among men. Their general tendency of flirting hardly depends on their relationship status. Men notice women, like them, try to flirt with them, and eventually forget. But if a guy is flirting continuously with you, there must be some reason behind this approach.

Here are some of the common potential reasons that I have listed for my readers.  Well, however, I request you to kindly evaluate your situation well after going through the reasons to reach a conclusion. 

Unhappy Current Relationship

A guy who has a girlfriend can flirt with other girls firstly because he is simply unhappy in this current relationship. Maybe it is the spark that is lost or he has found his girlfriend cheating on him already with someone else, or the man himself wants to break up due to personal reasons.

Whatever the case is, a committed and serious guy flirts with another girl, an unhappy current relationship status is the basic reason behind the same. 

I have seen the same in one of my friends. I don’t wanna take his name but as he was unhappy in his relationship, I decided to explore other girls with the tool of flirting. No way this approach took him to something good. But eventually, his girlfriend broke up with him and left him alone.

He Finds You Attractive

Well, flirting is kind of a very light-hearted and easy-flowing vibe depending on the situation and place you are in. Well, he could be someone who is doing great in a committed relationship with his girlfriend. But, at the same time, he could find you too hot and attractive as well.

Rather I should say, for him you are too hard to resist at least for a little healthy and easy flirting. This happens often to women who are sharing good friendly terms with this guy. Where his girlfriend will also not mind these chatty conversations between you two. So yes, attraction plays a big role when it comes to flirting, coming from a committed guy. 

Unstable Mindset

Often I have seen men who are hell a lot unsure about what exactly they want in their partner or from a relationship. They keep getting into relationships, flirting, breakup, having sex, and everything else, yet they are never satisfied. They develop an unstable mindset.

Well, I am not blaming men here. This instability often sprouts from some unattended childhood traumas within a person. These unhealed patterns will cause men to keep flirting even when they are in a committed relationship with their girlfriends.

Fear Of Commitment With Any Partner

Many men have girlfriends but have a serious fear of commitment. I don’t know why, but some men have serious issues with commitments. Remember Chandler, he always used to panic about his commitment to his girlfriends and always ended breaking up.

Again, if a person is living in fear of commitment, they will develop habits and patterns like flirting even while in a committed relationship. These situations often create a mess among all three people involved. The guy is commitment-phobic and thus needs a constant person to flirt around to avoid any talk of commitment. 

He Wants To Hook Up With You

Understand that sometimes it’s hard to hear and accept certain things and situations. This flirting coming from a committed guy could be your “that” situation. He is up here flirting with you just because he wants to hook up with you. Sex is the only intention, no matter who he is committed to.

He simply wants some sex and bedroom stories and nothing else. According to many relationship experts, this is one of the most popular reasons why men tend to flirt with women. 

Revenge Mindset

A guy who is also in a relationship with his girlfriend can come flirting with you, as a revenge action. Maybe he has caught his girlfriend cheating with someone else in this relationship. He simply wants to pursue you and flirt to seek revenge by making his girlfriend jealous. It’s all a mental battle and you are being included as a character to play their part on the stage. 

Your Action Plan

If you see all or some of the above-mentioned signs coming from a guy who has a girlfriend, you need a solid action plan now. Losing yourself to the flirtatious words of the desired guy sometimes makes us blind to see the truth. 

However, this situation is certainly sensitive and can lead you to further mess rather than engaging in a beautiful, blooming relationship. Here is what you can do to help gain an air of clarity to see through the layers and masque.

Communicate Clearly

When a guy who has a girlfriend is flirting with you, either he is doing it casually and light-heartedly or he is trying to seek something out of it. It is often easy to figure out what his honest intentions are. However, if you see that his flirting behavior continues and knows no boundary, it is time to confront him with clear communication. 

Seek a comfortable place to talk (let it be in a public place, yet where you can talk without interruption) and keep your question straight. What does this flirting mean? Are you interested in me? OR Are you being casual and friendly, as I see you are in a committed relationship already? 

This simple and short questionnaire will help you gain clarity and reach a point of conclusion followed by mental peace.

Connect With The Girlfriend(If Needed)

If confronting this person has not helped you resolve the scenario, you may like to reach out to his girlfriend. It’s not necessary that your approach has to be complaining, aggressive, or angry. You can simply pursue her with an honest and general question on how her relationship is with her man or if her relationship is failing. Try to build a healthy connection of friendship with her if necessary. 

Relationships often fall apart due to miscommunication. Finding comfort in flirting with a third person will create unnecessary stress for you, this guy, and his girlfriend as well. Let crystal clear communication come into the scene to resolve the situation at best.

Be Very Honest And Clear About YOUR Intentions

If this committed guy with a girlfriend comes to flirt with you, and you too wish to flirt back, make sure you are clear, vocal, and honest about your intentions. If it’s casual and mutual flirting, it’s still important for you to keep in mind his truth (that he has a girlfriend) and not cross the boundaries. Sometimes when we are flowing with the flirting game, we end up making mistakes( kissing or hooking up in some cases). 

However, if you too have a crush on him and would like to build a connection, let that be known. Be vocal enough to let him know that you hold feelings towards him. This will simply make him aware of not crossing any boundary that may make things worse for you. 

Build Healthy Boundaries

If this committed guy flirts with you and you are not much interested in him, let that be known too. Rejections do not always have to be aggressive and dramatic. A simple “I am not interested!”, “I would like to be left alone.”, “I see you are with your girlfriend here.” or “ am not your type.” will work fine when you are trying to reject a flirting offer.

My readers need to learn how to respect the boundaries they have for themselves and not let anyone cross them, no matter the situation. Build healthy boundaries and be vocal about it loud and clear. In this way, you can simply eliminate any possible stress or unnecessary worries that could hit you. 

Speak Your Truth

Speaking your truth and being authentic is what all of us should be doing all the time, no matter what the situation is. If a guy who is in a committed relationship with his girlfriend comes along to have an easy-breezy flirty conversation with you, you must speak your truth without any hesitation. You may not like the way he pursues you or you are simply not interested in his chatty conversations. 

Be gentle with your words if you want to avoid being too loud or being dramatic. But speaking your truth is the only way to avoid unnecessary stress and unwanted interactions in your life. 

Ask Him To Make A Decision

If this guy who is already in a committed relationship with his girlfriend genuinely wants to make things work with you, it is time to make a solid decision. If you and this guy are hitting it well together and his situation is already falling apart (in his current committed relationship), decision-making is the next step. 

One person can not walk with his legs in two parallel boats! Ask this person upfront to make a clear decision about who he wants to seriously be involved with. This clear decision-making is the next natural step to keep the slate of all your life simple, sorted, and clean. It will take courage on your part sometimes to pursue him with this intention. But, if you are in love, no one ever said that things are gonna be easy.

Know When To Let Go

Well, you did spend a great time, enjoyed the flirting and chatting with this committed guy. It was all light-hearted and healthy. You both kept it simple and avoided getting too deep. Great job! But what next? If both of you have decided to keep it in terms of a good friendship, I suggest to my readers to remember their boundaries and not let anyone cross them. 

If you find yourself being swept off your feet or this person trying to cross his committed limits, it’s time to let him go (only if you do not want this man to cheat on his girlfriend!).

So, if you have reached this point, congrats. You have gone through one of the most comprehensive sessions on this context that you have searched for. Hopefully, now you understand the meaning of why the guy flirts or has flirted with you and you’ll be able to make your decision accordingly. But remember that flirting is indeed a healthy and funny practice till when it’s not affecting any other person. If you understand and manifest this, the rest will fall in line on their own. 

Happy flirting. 


In this part, I will try to answer some of the most commonly asked questions related to the primary context we’re discussing.

Does this mean he loves me?

If a guy with a girlfriend flirts with you, this in no way means that he loves you. If he has created an air of confusion and simply played around with the emotions of people (both you and his girlfriend), his intentions are dishonest. It’s only flirting and time passes when he is bored or idle. If a person genuinely loves you, his actions will reflect. He will not be staying with another girl and hint his feelings towards you. 

Should I feel guilty?

Feeling guilty about responding to a guy (with a girlfriend) who is flirting with you is a common thing. If you have a crush on this person and know that he is in a committed relationship, it is better to walk out of the situation and get better at yourself to the point of prioritizing self-love, rather than seeking love from a toxic situation. Guilt-tripping yourself will be of no help thus.

Should I flirt back?

If you already know that a guy with a girlfriend is flirting with you and just enjoying your company and conversation as time passes, you shouldn’t flirt back. Flirting back will give a sign that you are interested in him. Once things start moving forward, it often becomes difficult to put a pause, and the situation between you three will start getting toxic and messy. I will advise learning to keep your life and relationships simple and clean. Priority peace over everything else.

So he wants me to be his girlfriend?

If a guy has a girlfriend and flirts with you yet, he can do it for his own reasons. However, it is not clear if that means he wants you to be a girlfriend. Only genuine efforts further to the flirting and a clear mindset and the course of actions that prove his present relationship with a girlfriend is falling apart may reveal that he wants to move on with you.  Communicate clearly with him, if you feel a genuine connection or else it will be better to let it go.


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