How Often Should You Text A Girl You Just Started Talking To?

Adhideb Ghosh
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Oftentimes, we meet a new person and develop a certain liking for them. It can be that we are attracted to them, or they seem quite intriguing and we want to keep the conversation going! But you’re confused! How often should you text this girl? Is there a possibility that your texts will end up making you monotonous to her? 

If you’re browsing on the internet to know the exact frequency of texting a girl you just started talking to, yeah, you’ve finally landed on the right page. Here, you’re gonna have a comprehensive idea about the entire context after going through the blog thoroughly.

But at the very beginning, let me answer your most initial query. How often should you text a girl you’ve just started talking to? If you have just started talking to a girl, the most important thing is to not appear pushy and desperate to her. It can be a good idea to text her a couple of times a week. If a girl shows interest in chatting with you, you can increase the frequency of texting her. If she replies very late and shows disinterest in you, she might not be into it and it's better for you to stop. 

There are several ways to figure out her interest or disinterest in you, as well as her general interest in chatting. Some people love texting a lot, while others hardly text even their good friends daily. 

So, what is your dynamic with her? When did you first meet her? What was your first conversation like and did she show interest in you? And most importantly, how often have you been texting her? 

If you are interested in finding out what is the ideal frequency for you to text her, read on the rest. In this blog, I’m gonna unveil what should be the exact frequency to text a girl whom you just started talking to, what does each of her responses actually means, and most importantly the ideal approach and things that you should always avoid. So, read the article thoroughly and please don’t miss any points. 

How Long Has It Been Since You Both Started Talking? (and How Often Should You Text a Girl Based on That?) 

Did you just meet her today or a few days ago? Or have you been talking to each other for a couple of weeks? Your frequency of texting this girl entirely depends on the time duration since when you first met or started talking. Based on time, chemistry gets built up between two persons. And based on that chemistry, the frequency of talking should develop. 

If You Just Met Her For The First Time

So, you just met her. Things got interesting and you both ended up exchanging numbers. What now? Are you wondering if you should drop her a text or not? 

Sending her a text the same day, telling her it was nice meeting her and you enjoyed the time together, is a good place to start. 

Waiting for days before dropping your first text can make her feel you are not interested in her and she may lose her interest as well. However, don't keep texting her multiple times a day, especially when you have just started talking. Let her reply to your texts, and try to figure out if she is genuinely enjoying talking to you. 

Texting her a couple of times a week is a safe option. Not texting her for days/weeks at a time can make you seem disinterested and aloof. 

If It Has Been A Few Weeks Since Your First Meeting

You both have been texting each other for quite some time. Now, you want to know if you should text her more often or slow down.

Well, if you want to continue building your bond with her, being consistent will help a lot. So, If you have been texting her a couple of times a week, continue doing the same if she seems neutral about it.

If she shows interest in talking to you more often by lengthening the conversations, you may increase the frequency and text her more often. However, if you notice her not paying attention to your texts, not replying well, or you feel that she's not interested at all, it's a cue for you to slow down (or stop).

Stop texting her for a few days and see if she responds any differently when you text her again. 

What Does Her Response Indicate? 

Suppose, you both have been texting back and forth for some time. You must have noticed her responses. Does she seem excited to talk to you? Does she seem aloof and replies only because she has to? 

Instant responses come from the core of the human mind. That person's way of responding to you can give you valuable clues about where you stand with them. If you can analyze those responses, you’ll be able to decide whether the person is interested in you or not. If interested how much she is? 

If you wanna know the frequency of texting this girl, you must understand the depth of your relationship with her. This is where the importance of response analysis lies.

When She Seems Excited

You text her and she replies pretty quickly. If she's late, she says she was caught up with something and seems genuinely happy to chat with you. 

Well, then you are a lucky one! She seems as interested in you, as you are in her. Make sure to take things slowly and make her feel comfortable and safe with you. But always remember that obsessively texting her, or unintentionally pushing her boundaries can make her wary of you. 

When She Seems Neutral

She texts back but doesn't seem to be opening up too much. Your conversations are stuck at "Hello" and "How are you?". 

However, she doesn't seem annoyed when you text her. She doesn't take hours to reply as well. If that's the case, you might be just a casual friend to her or just a person that she knows. If you are interested in her and want to continue talking to her, you may. If you’re in such a situation, try not to text too much or get flirty with her, or she might get uncomfortable. 

Instead, weave your conversations around things that she finds genuinely interesting. Is she an avid animal lover, or loves books, or is she a fan of thriller movies? Talking to her about things she likes might pique her interest in you. 

When Her Ways Are Confusing

Does she reply nicely sometimes, while would keep you waiting or send a "K." at other times? 

Maybe she was busy with her work or was in a bad mood when you texted her. It can be a good idea to slow down and pay attention to her texts. In such circumstances, if you are comfortable, you can slip a question asking about it the next time she seems to be replying well. Asking her if she was not feeling well the last time, can make her open up and clear your confusion. 

When She Is Just Not Interested

If she seems uninterested in you and would be happier if you stop texting her, well, follow the cue. Sometimes, the person we are interested in doesn’t feel the same way for us and that's okay. Respecting their boundaries and moving on, is the way to go. 

Things That Would Keep Her Interested

If you want to engage a girl in a conversation, whom you’ve recently started talking to, you need the skillset to engage her with your words. Always remember, words are the most powerful tool in the world to deal with complications. But nowadays, in this modern era of advanced technologies and numerous options, people tend to think less. That’s why many people nowadays lack the skill to frame properly interesting conversations. 

Men often start talking to some girl, and maybe after a couple of days of no texting, they hit the girls’ inbox with a “How are you”. Look, starting your conversations with "Hey. How are you?" can never go wrong. However, to continue chatting with someone, you need more than that. You need to learn the art of using the right words in the right place. 

But to put your words in the right place at the right time, you need to follow some specific approaches. At this point, I’m gonna talk about those specific approaches. 

Keep The Focus On Her

If you have just started talking to a girl, try to make her the focus of the conversation. Ask about her day, her interests, etc. Avoid talking too much about yourself and pushing your opinions in every conversation. If she is not that interested in you, this might annoy her. 

Ask Her About Her Day 

This is the safest way to proceed with the conversation. Ask about her day and allow her to reply. 

If she had a rough day, be understanding and comfort her. If she seems pissed because of a certain friend or her boss, and rants about it to you, be there and give her attention.  If she had a wonderful day and is happy, ask her about things that made her happy. 

Give Her A Genuine Compliment 

Girls love receiving compliments. However, they can discern between a genuine compliment and one just trying to flatter them somehow. If you see a picture of her that you like, or you like her work (eg. a painting she made), or maybe it is just something intellectual she said: treat her with a sweet compliment. 

What Is Her Favorite Food/Drink/Book/Movie? 

Do you wanna get to know her better? Ask her about her favorite movie. Does she like romance or action movies better? Is she an ardent reader? What is her favorite food? 

Show interest in her likes and dislikes, her opinions. It will make her feel happy. 

Things She Seems Passionate About

Are there things she is passionate about? What are her hobbies? Does she like singing, or painting, or maybe she loves to dance! Or maybe she’s an activist? Is she passionate about voicing her opinion against social evils, animal cruelty, inequality, etc.? If you bring her favorite topics into conversation, she would be happy to keep talking. 

Things She Dislikes

Getting to know about things she dislikes or topics she wouldn't want to hear about, can prevent you from pissing her off in the future. Let her know that you would like to understand what are the things that she would rather not talk about. 

Things To Avoid Doing

To keep a newly known girl in conversations with you, it’s not enough to learn what to speak, when to speak, and how to speak. But you also need to learn what not to speak in order to stay up in her inbox. Now that we have seen what to do to keep her interested, let us also understand what to avoid.

These things can land you in her bad books and definitely, you don't want that. 

Being Pushy 

If she hasn't replied to you back and it has been a couple of hours, don't text her again asking about it. She may be busy and texting her repeatedly would annoy her. 

If you both have just started talking, texting her daily or multiple times a day may come off as being pushy. If her replies are short and crisp, do not go overboard by sending long paragraphs. But if she sends paragraphs, avoid replying with short phrases. Let her get comfortable and allow the bond to grow gradually.

Talking About Things She Doesn't Like

If she seems uncomfortable talking about something, change the topic. Pushing a topic that she doesn't like or doesn't want to talk about, can make her not want to talk to you again. She may not be comfortable expressing her discomfort directly, so look for the signs. 

If she gets anxious or nervous, or if her way of texting changes and gets awkward, take your cue. 

Making Her Feel Small 

No one wants to be made to feel bad about themselves. So, do not ever make her feel small even as a joke, she won’t appreciate it. Do not say anything negative about her appearance or about her works and things she values a lot. Even if you say something light-heartedly, it might hurt her a lot and will make your bond sour. And no one likes an insensitive friend. 

I hope this blog provided you with all the answers and solutions you were looking for. If you have just started talking to a girl, texting her a few times a week and allowing her to get comfortable with you, is important. Get to know her better, make the conversations interesting and your bond will grow.

Happy dating.


To help you further in this context, as an additional help I am adding a few frequently asked questions that I commonly face from my friends dealing with such situations.

How often should you initiate texting? 

If you both are interested in each other, it is completely okay to start a conversation whenever you feel like it. Dropping them a text randomly, saying you were thinking about them, can bring a smile to their face. However, if you both have just started talking to each other, initiating texting all the time can make you look desperate. Let them start a few conversations as well. 

How often should you text someone you just started dating? 

If you are dating someone, texting them every day is completely normal. If your partner likes chatting, texting can be a great way to get to know and understand each other better. If your partner doesn't like texting much, it’s still a good idea to drop a text at least once a day or in two days. Let them know you are there, thinking about them. 

What should I text a girl to keep her interested? 

Talk to her about things she likes. If you don't know what her likes and dislikes are, ask her about it. Ask about her favorite movies, songs, and sports. Compliment her, ask her about her day, share intelligent jokes with her. If she is someone who likes astrophysics or ancient history, things that not many people are interested in, discuss those topics with her. 

What is the best time to text a girl? 

Texting anyone between 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. is fine. If you want to text a girl and are hoping for a bit longer conversation than just a hello, texting her when she is free would be a good idea. If you don't know her schedule, you can text her in the late afternoon or evening. You can also drop her a text and ask if she can spare some time, in case you have something to tell her. 


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