The dating world is a whole new way of meeting and understanding people and their mindsets that you would never know otherwise. One such very unique type of dating personality that I recently discovered is the Alpha Widows.
Alpha widows are not supernatural or surreal humans. Sometimes men end up in relationships with an alpha widow without even knowing the fact. But if you are on this page, I am quite sure that it is high time you need to learn about them.
So, now if you ask me what are the signs of alpha Widows and how can you deal with them, I will say, Women who never get satisfied with anything that the current boyfriend gives her, stay in relationships with the least emotional engagements and always keeps their comparing their partner with their ex as she has not been able to move on are considered as Alpha window. You have to be gentle and patient to deal with her and must come up with a mentality of healing, and putting in enough effort.
If you think that your partner is also an Alpha widow, it’s time you must analyze her phenomena through the potential signs. Here is a detailed write-up on who are alpha widows, why are they called so, and signs through which you can recognize them. Read the blog thoroughly and try not to miss any specific point.
Who Is An Alpha Widow?
To start with the definition of an Alpha Widow, my readers need to understand Alpha men first! For those especially who are not aware of an alpha male, It’s those men who have very high sexual values, tremendous attractiveness, sky-high confidence, and of course great in bed.
To be precise, an alpha male is the ultimate male figure a woman can desire to have in their life, for all sorts of emotional, mental, and especially sexual pleasure.
Okay! Once you gain clarity on the “Alpha male” concept; it is time to understand his widow. The Alpha Widow!
Any woman, who has experienced at least one high-value relationship with an alpha male, along with a handful of other dates, will often turn out to be an alpha widow. No matter how many guys she has been with, she will always plug in to explain her experience with this alpha male.
Of course, it is after her breakup or parting of ways with this alpha male, she is called an alpha widow!
She walks with certain standards and is never satisfied with any other male in her life, who does not match that pre-set level. Often averagely attractive in terms of looks, she craves for her alpha male and finds it sheerly difficult to move on and settle in healthy, positive, and long-term relationships.
One passionate sexual interaction with her alpha male becomes her scale to measure other potential partners for her future. If any man (no matter how good he is for a healthy long-term relationship) can never prove his worth if he fails in her scale test.
Her longing for this past encounter with an alpha male is exactly what makes her a widow! Men, in general, will also end up dating alpha widows without their conscious knowledge of the whole scenario and psychology of their date.
Signs That You Are Dating Or Thinking Of An Alpha Widow
As you now know, who exactly is known as alpha widows, it’s now time to evaluate your relationship and identify if you are dating one. However, before starting with that, I want my readers to understand that Alpha widows are nothing to be scared of. She is also as human as you are, simply with a different mindset.
True that being with an alpha widow without being conscious about the fact, can cause stress, frustration and not to miss the downfall of self-worth. Long-term involvement with an alpha widow can drain you mentally, physically, and emotionally and leave you with an inferior state of mind, which is very hard to deal with. It will require tremendous energy, courage, and hard work to heal an alpha widow and your relationship with her.
However, all that is the second stage, the first is to identify her. Here are some of the most common traits of an Alpha Widow that you can check with.
- She is always comparing you with this one ex
The most prominent sign of an Alpha widow is that she will always compare you to this one ex, that she can not get over. The kind of experience she had with this past alpha boyfriend is her "the best ''. No one can usually compete with the preset standard she has on her mind. She will make you feel unworthy of her and chances are all your insecurities will heighten only to make things worse further.
- She is never satisfied with your sexual performance
Intimacy with this woman(alpha widow) will often be a roller coaster ride. No matter how much effort you put to satisfy her needs in bed, you will mostly fail. She had the best sexual experience with her alpha ex and she refrains from considering anyone else to match that level. A healthy stage of intimacy both physical, mental, and emotional will not be an easy thing to achieve with her.
- She treats you with the least value
Well, you have done enough to prove your worth and offer the best that you can in this relationship with an alpha widow. But no matter what you do, she just does not treat you with respect, understanding, and acceptance. She will not value your time and efforts and often compare your worth to her alpha ex and make you feel of no value at all.
An Alpha widow also starts considering other men as her possible options to move on with, once she understands that you are not worth to match her standards.
- No matter your efforts, she is never impressed
It’s not only hard but almost impossible to impress her. Chocolates, flowers, gifts, date nights, movies, expensive dine-outs will all fall in vain. Only and only if you do something greater and better than her scale of past experience with an alpha male, she will be impressed.
That’s the thing with Alpha widows, that you will give the best of all you have and can, but it only gets harder. Love should not be about expensive gifts and matching a certain level of status to make her stay with you. In such situations, you’re left with two options: Either you help her heal or know when to leave.
- She is not (or hardly) emotionally engaged
You will not find Alpha widows to engage in a connection emotionally, expressing what they feel about their partner. The only thing they mostly open their mouth for is to compare and bring up how amazing her alpha-ex has been.
Dating or being with an alpha widow is a relationship that is emotionally closed and mostly physical and at surface level. You will not find the depths of a healthy happy blooming connecting with an alpha widow.
- She has not moved on from her memories with this alpha male
You will find an alpha widow tightly holding on to her memories with her ex-partner. She has his things, gifts, photographs, old chat messages as a memory. It doesn't stop here. She will continue to keep all of it close and often cherish those material possessions to match the vibe of her alpha-ex. This is a certain level of obsession that is hard to get over.
- She makes excuses to meet or be in touch with this ex
The ultimate Alpha widow sign is that she will always make excuses to catch up with his alpha ex-person from her past. Be it any problem, any situation, any topic, she wants to discuss or needs to solve, this alpha ex is her savior. She keeps longing for a solution from her alpha ex. He is her hero and no matter who is she with at present, her Alpha-ex is the only hero she can think of having in her life.
This Is How You Can Deal With An Alpha Widow
Ahhh! After all those identification points, we need to breathe a sigh of relief. You see, how draining and mentally stressful it is for a man to live in that confused and competitive state of mind even for a month. That could be too much to handle if you are not mentally powerful and healed.
However, if you hold a genuine feeling for this Alpha Widow and want to pursue this connection even after a thorough evaluation, you’re all welcome. But now it’s high time to learn the art of dealing with alpha widows. Otherwise, no matter how hard you try, you’ll certainly fail.
Here are some of the basic yet powerful tips to deal with an Alpha Widow.
Act From A Healed State Of Mind
Healing is a super important part of all our lives. We all have lived with one trauma or the other that has helped us to be the person we are today. The same traumas that made the person you are planning to date an alpha widow, are the ones that make you obsess over her and seek her validation (mostly that is the case).
So in order to handle her and this relationship, you have to start with self-healing and proceed further. There remains a higher chance that you may end up messing up your peace of mind without healing. And always remember that without your own mental peace all kinda effort will go in vain.
Help Her Heal
If you come from a healed mindset, it becomes easy for you to see through her traumas and toxic patterns that she keeps repeating to attract unworthy partners. The alpha male she looks up as her best boyfriend ever is also a part of that toxic pattern.
If you have the courage and energy to handle her traumas, could you be a vessel for her healing? Alpha widows have some sense of self-worth as they have already been with a high-standard man. But, not being able to move from that particular past experience and making other men feel horrible about themselves as they are unable to match the standards, is still a toxic trait.
You can break down all these observations in front of her eyes and show her the loop that is keeping her trapped. Breaking her thought pattern is a great way to deal with alpha widows.
Try To Treat Her With Unique Experiences
So, the main thing with an alpha widow is her comparisons. She keeps comparing you with this alpha ex from her past. If you fail to touch that scale, nothing, I repeat nothing can make you worthy of her( that is what she feels).
In order to deal with her, it becomes very important to be real, better, and show her your own uniqueness. What you bring to the table should make her forget that past alpha ex experience and help her move on.
The standards she made are not always healthy though. I’m not suggesting pursuing her with a competitive mindset to prove that you are worthy of her love. Do not try to be in a competition with her ex alpha boyfriend. But, definitely, be the unique alpha person you are. Embody the healthier version of an alpha male rather than being a toxic one, who shows her what love actually feels like!
Know When To Stop
It’s not only typical to women, men also forget to set strong boundaries for themselves in most relationships. Going out of their way to give as much as possible to a beloved person is what we all do.
As the Alpha widow will constantly make her partner feel that he’s not enough for her, men often travel extra miles to prove their worth. However, all efforts go in vain unless you match her scale of sexual, emotional, and physical involvement.
Giving too much is not a healthy choice to make. Thus, men should learn to build healthy boundaries and know when to let go of their connection with an alpha widow.
So, I hope after going through this comprehensive presentation on alpha widows, you have understood everything you were looking for. Despite all relationship tips & tricks, in the end, I want to say, learn to treat every woman just as a human being first rather than treating her as alpha, beta, or sigma. Learn to love her from your pure emotions without slight involvement of any mechanical process and most importantly love yourself.
Put in as much effort as you can to make your relationship work, if you want. And when you get tired, learn to stop and come out of it. Believe me, the rest will fall in line on its own.
Yes! It is possible to have a healthy, positive, and blooming relationship with an alpha widow. But, to reach that state, both individuals in the relationship will need to heal from their toxic state of mind. The mindset that made her an alpha widow, can not help her be in a healthy relationship with any other male. Self-worth is the first lesson she must learn to understand that she is worthy of a great long-term relationship, without putting her alpha male on a pedestal and keep craving his presence.
An alpha widow is as human as you are. The only difference is her thought patterns and possible trauma mindset that make her crave an alpha male. She isn’t nuts! She is worthy of love, compassion, understanding, and a healthy long-term relationship in her life as well.
Please understand that loving someone is a personal choice and requires emotional involvement. If the alpha widow you are dating or wanting to date is putting genuine efforts to heal her traumas and toxic mental state that made her an alpha widow, she may fall in love with you. Here comes the power of great healing. But, loving you remains her personal choice that only time can reveal.