The essence of a good relationship must be good communication. But how much of it is too much communication? Can we survive if we do not talk for a while? Well, it depends on where you stand in a relationship.
So read on as we discover if it is normal to go a day without talking to your girlfriend/boyfriend? Yes, It is normal to go a day without talking to your girlfriend/boyfriend as talking every day is not how you measure the success of any relationship. The quality of communication even when limited is much more important than talking every day for hours.
Some associate a day without talking to our partners as if it is the end of the relationship. Most have a notion that not talking for a day amounts to he/she not caring for their partner. This is nonsense!
You do not need to check in every day to show how much you care, and if you feel that a day of no contact gives you a reason to look somewhere else, you are just spoilt for choices!
In our busy lives, communication gets difficult and you cannot just come to an irrational conclusion that he/she does not care. If you ever feel/felt this way all you have to do is look at the reasons your partner may have not contacted you.
It is important to identify the real reasons for him/her not calling you, instead of forming your own bias like “he/she does not care.”
The Reasons For Not Calling You
It is important to know the reasons for him/her not calling as they will let you understand the mindset of your partner when they decide that it is normal to not call everyday.
Not A Chatterbox
It is normal for few people out there to not talk for days, both men and women with such behavioral patterns can be slightly introverted or are men and women with few yet wise words.
Such people tend to be good listeners, analyzers, and problem solvers yet mostly are misunderstood with the tag of ‘don’t care enough.’
Good relationships and good people are left with heartbreaks due to their partners not understanding their behavioral patterns.
In a relationship, you must gauge the personality traits of your partner and understand if his/her nature is something you can appreciate.
If you find that your partner is too quiet for your liking, have a mature talk with them and try to understand the reasons for him/her not talking to you.
If the reason is something you can live with, great, if not move on gently and tell them the truth instead of labels like ‘do not care enough.
My partner works a lot of hours, her job requires her to extend even after the normal 9-5, which is a very normal scenario in today’s world. Some professionals like doctors or deployed soldiers do not get the luxury of talking every day, as duty precedes all.
Your partner may not be that busy but what work from home taught us, was a glimpse into the schedules of our better halves, and surprisingly, for most of us, it's only work, work, and work!
I have personally witnessed friends being stuck at work with constant meetings with clients unable to meet or greet people sitting in the next room, let alone have a leisure talk with their better halves.
Do they not care? Of course, they do, but they also have a sense of duty and that drive to excel, which must be appreciated instead of being questioned.
They Are Long-Distance!
Talking every day might have a greater significance in a long-distance relationship.
With long-distance comes insecurity, unease, and the pain from longing for your partner. Such emotions heighten your need for staying in touch.
So if you are in a long-distance relationship I understand why calling every day is so important to you.
You need to understand that although long-distance is uncertain, if you believe and trust your partner then the need for staying always in touch reduces.
In time you will realize how busy and different your lives are, and how futile calling every day is.
Long-distance at first teaches you yearning and then will teach you how to be apart. A successful long-distance relationship will teach you the balance between both.
So it is normal for your boyfriend/girlfriend to not call you every day in a long-distance relationship.
The Comfort Zone
If a relationship ages well the need for constant communication decreases as well. You do not have that constant worry of whether he/she cares enough.
The comfort in knowing that your partner will stick with you through sickness and in health makes all the difference.
Also, you will know their preference of time or can schedule your calls at a time that is not burdensome to both.
These small yet vital adjustments come with more time spend together, but you have to let the relationship age to understand how to communicate with your partner better.
The ‘Me’ time
All of us need ample space to grow as individuals.
When life gets to intertwined we tend to lose our self of identity, and so for guys, it's generally to compartmentalize their feelings for their partner and finding the right balance.
The ‘Me’ time helps us figure out things about ourselves and during this time we would like to spend time with ‘me’ instead of ‘us’.
So, if your guy/girl is taking some 'me' time, it is normal not to talk every day. You too should consider taking a ‘me’ time break for yourself to see who you are as an individual.
These are a few reasons why your better half may not call you every day. It is healthy for a relationship to have a space where both partners are comfortable.
If your guy/girl is not a daily caller, it's okay. Remember, you fell in love with the person not his/her calling abilities.
A friend of mine, was traveling solo and he decided to go old school- writing letters, both the partners decided to go on a break from digital communication.
How did that work, well he was on a 15-day trip, while on that vacation he send postcards from all the locations he stayed in.
Yes, it was not calling every day, but at the end of it, the couple came out stronger. They got to witness how much they mean to each other, the distance, the wait, every little detail mattered as that little postcard could only hold so much information.
I understood through their experience that love is not just about communication but quality communication. It's not about the hours spend interacting but what the interaction was all about.
So here are a few things you can do instead of calling or expecting a call every day from your partner.
Things To Do Instead Of Calling Everyday
With 24 hours in a day, there are lots of things, productive things that you can do instead of worrying over the fact that your partner has not called you all day.
Here are a few things you may look forward to doing instead of calling your partner every day.
Make A list
In the time you are not calling or expecting a call make a list of things that you like to talk about with your partner the next time you catch up.
This helps to create quality conversations instead of repetitive content like ‘how are you or how was your day.’
If you have ever felt conversations in your life are getting boring, switch it up by making a list of topics you recently find interesting and engage in them.
When conversations are not monotonous it makes a difference. So go ahead and make that list. Remember quality always triumphs over quantity when it concerns a healthy relationship.
In the time you are not calling or expecting a call you can pamper yourself a bit. Spending time with yourself is a healthy habit to have, self-exploring the things you want in life can help shape the future ‘you’.
So instead of spending your time expecting a call, think of how you can spend time improving your past self for an amazing future.
Take up new hobbies, or improve on the ones you have. Time has always been precious and so as they say, love may come and go but you will be with you forever!
So treasure your time with yourself as much as you would while on a phone call with your partner!
Pay Attention To Friends And Family
In the time you would waste contemplating why your partner did not call, you could spend that time talking to friends and family.
They are as much or more important than a relationship you are just venturing into, though most of us take their presence for granted.
I understand that there are a few barriers to cross when talking to family, not everyone is a fan of theirs, but I would still urge you to have a dialogue when free.
As for friends, when you get into a relationship, you will spend less time with them to accommodate the relationship in your life.
In moments you were waiting for the call, you could have texted or even called your friends to check up, on them.
Both for family and friends such gestures go a long way, remember not to ignore them.
Try A Different Mode Of Communication
Talking every day is overrated, why not try things differently. The benefit of doing things differently is avoiding stagnation.
So, try a different form of communication, stay off digital communication for a week and see how that goes for you. Send postcards, or try only texting.
You may try anything that you find interesting, communication has many forms, just remember to mix and match to keep your relationship fun and exciting!
Keep It ‘In-Person’
Instead of calling every day, I would suggest you make plans to meet up, sharing a physical presence with someone brings you closer.
In-person helps to communicate in all forms, not just through your voice.
Body language can convey all the messages you want to tell subconsciously and so meeting in person is a much deeper form of communication than talking every day on phone.
It is normal to go a day without talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend. The art of communicating focuses on quality rather than quantity.
So if you have been worried that your partner not calling you is a sign that they do not care, it is advisable to not make such assumptions.
Instead, you can look at the reason why your partner would not like to talk every day. Explore different types of communication with your partner to keep it fun and comfortable with both.
Rigidity in any relationship will only make it suffer, be more open to options out of the norm, by doing this you will be able to liberate yourself from the ordinary and step into a more loving relationship.
This has an individual take, some may be fine not talking for days with their partner, some believe alternate days are a good option. I believe, the ‘how long’ is less important to the content of your conversation. As long as it is an honest, heartfelt dialogue there should be no cause for worry.
Yes, it is normal for couples to fight and not talk for days. In such a situation I would advise both the partners to shelve all egos and communicate logically. Remember there is no right or wrong viewpoint, if you fight on any topic it is because you have different opinions about how to proceed on something. Discuss rationally and you will be talking again in no time.
It is normal, you may even take it up as an activity to go a few days, not talking to your partner in a conventional way. Try postcards with some flowers to go or use a home phone like the teens in the 80s did. The possibilities are endless, so try something new and explore communication at a different level.