Our time together is done, a reality, painful to accept, especially when the person you trusted the most betrayed all of your hopes for another girl.
It’s devastating to your self-esteem, a part of you may start to doubt if you matter.
Moving on from such a situation is hard, as you keep asking yourself, will he come back after leaving you for another girl?
The guy who left you for another girl will come back when he realizes how important you were in his life. The hard work and effort you put in to make the relationship successful will compel him to think of you. Guys will come back hoping to regain your trust when they believe you were good for them and your support helped them be a better version of themselves.
You may start to blame yourself, Was I not good enough? Is she better than me? And other such comparisons will keep coming to your mind.
The reality is that his leaving has nothing to do with you, if you have put in the necessary effort, cared for his well-being, then the fault lies not with you. So, let’s look at a few reasons why he left.
The Reason For Him Leaving
These reasons are important to understand as they will help you determine his intention of coming back to you.
People rarely change into a better version of themselves and you need to know the underlying reasons for him leaving you for another.
He Did Not Love You
If he did not love you and his intention was just a casual relationship or a fling then the guy will leave if he finds someone more attractive.
I do not mean just physical attraction, if a guy was in a casual relationship with you, the possibilities are he did not find love.
Though devastating, if a guy in a casual relationship finds someone more compatible, he will move on.
You are good enough, compatibility has no boundaries such as good or not good enough, compatibility banks on personal choices and decisions.
So, if he has decided to move on chances are he was not there with you in the first place.
He Had Trouble Relating
Not all couples can be on the same wavelength needed to stay together in a relationship.
What ruins a relationship more is when there is judgment and prejudice. If there are topics that he finds you are prejudiced about he will not open up about them.
Some men are unable to relate as there is a lack of open dialogue in relationships, and if you had a similar experience with your ex then that’s a reason for him to leave you for someone else.
He Got Bored
Not all men deserve happiness, and some men will break it off as soon as they find themselves bored of the relationship.
If he left you as he felt bored and unfulfilled, instead of having an earnest talk about it, no reason to take him back at all. Move on there are plenty of options to choose from.
He Has An Inflated Ego
Have you ever met people who think they are the center of the universe, it’s all about ‘he did this for you and how you are not appreciative.’
Yes, these men who find themselves too good for you tend to leave you high and dry because of their inflated egos.
Relationships should not be a hierarchy. It should be about making informed decisions with maturity and as a team respecting each other's boundaries.
This is why couples with similar thoughts and goals can form better communication during their relationship, while couples with a superior-inferior mentality struggle.
He Wanted Different Things In Life
When your life goals do not align and there was no mutual appreciation or respect, it may create a desire in him to get to know someone more inclined to their goals in life.
Getting to know and appreciate your partner’s goals in life is important to grow together.
If your partner has felt that the relationship is not supportive enough or aligned enough to his future goals he will have a reason to move on to someone else, who does understand and appreciate his goals in life.
He Is In A Situation
Not all guys break hearts out of spite, or ego some find themselves in impossible or complex situations where there is no other choice but to break up.
For example, falling in love with someone of a different religion is still considered taboo in some parts of the world.
Now the situation with your guy may not be this complex but if he has had a good reason to break up and move one with someone else.
You were never the problem, instead, they lost their connection to you because something in their life did not allow the guy to be with you anymore.
He Did Not Want A Long-Distance Relationship Anymore
Infidelity is seen more frequently in long-distance relationships.
If your guy left you for someone else and the both of you were in a long-distance relationship, chances are he did not want to commit to a long-distance relationship anymore.
The problem is not with you, but the fact that your ex could not maintain the effort to stay in a long-distance relationship.
The reasons for him leaving you for another girl are important to determine if he is coming back. So let’s look at the scenarios where the guy who leaves you for another girl may come back.
Why Will He Come Back?
He will come back to you, if you have done your best in putting real effort into the relationship, he will realize his mistake in leaving you.
The ‘why’ is very important for you to determine if you will let him back in. The scenarios also help make sense of his intentions, is he serious? Is he here for the sex? Is he bored?
All such questions create an unstable element for you and it needs to be addressed as soon as possible.
The scenarios when he will come back are
Regret only comes when there has been some serious contemplation on things he did wrong. If your guy has left you for some other girl, he now realizes your efforts at making the relationship work.
When things get difficult for him, or the new girl does not understand or put the efforts you used to, he is sure to regret it.
Now the scenario of regret generally is seen in cases where the guy left you as he thought it was something casual but thinking back, he realizes there was something more.
The regret comes from not exploring the possibilities he had when he was with you, and so he may want to come back.
Not Long-Distance Anymore
If the reason for your breakup was due to problems of staying away from each other, he is now back and wants to see if there is any hope left.
If your guy cheated on you with another girl while in a long-distance relationship, I would ask you to reconsider.
However, if he was honest about how things did not work out in the long-distance and went ahead with the breakup and then to dating someone else, there should be some room for consideration.
Your guy should not be punished for voicing his opinion on long-distance not working out. Yes, the breakup was hurtful, but you know better now.
So if he is back in town and there was good chemistry between the two of you, he will come back and contact you.
You Are Different Yet Necessary
If a guy leaves you for another girl because he wanted different things in life, and if you have put in the effort to understand and be a part of his life.
He will realize that although you shared different outlooks on life, the differences helped. You may not be going to the same destination but each appreciates and is proud of their partner’s life goal.
If he sees that his current relationship is more of a competition to reach the destination faster, instead of holistic growth and mutual appreciation, he will want to come back.
You Are Their Shelter
When you have a good relationship broken up due to the guy’s immature behavior they regret it pretty fast when trouble comes knocking.
You were his rock and now he no longer has that support in his life with the other girl.
When his insecurities or self-doubt comes creeping, missing your support will make him reconsider his decision to move on and he will come back to you.
It is on you to decide if he is worthy of that second chance, but him realizing your importance in his life is a guarantee.
When He Is A New Man
People can change for the better, it is rare, but it exists.
If he wants to come back to you because he realized how much it hurt both of you, as individuals, when he went into a relationship with someone else.
If he were to realize all the mistakes and misunderstandings he did and worked hard to improve on them.
He will then come back to see if there is any hope left for the relationship he did not value in the past but desperately wants to get back and make amends the right way.
Finding such a situation is rare, do not get your hopes high immediately, but if it feels right and you are honest about it with yourself, go ahead and give it a shot.
These were a few reasons why he may come back to you, but just because he is back, does not mean that you should let him in.
If you fail to be selective and move on if necessary, you will become vulnerable to the same hurt you experienced back then.
So when you conclude, here are a few things to help you to move on, as getting back together is not worth the trouble.
The Steps To Move On
The steps help you understand the do’s and don’ts to help move on from a toxic relationship. Not all relationships deserve a second chance and if you find yourself confused feel free to go over the things you need to do to move on.
- Stay away from him and do not entertain any further modes of communication, that should be your first course of action. This does two things, it sends a message across that he is not welcome in your life anymore, and it helps you to stop getting bothered by the past.
- Resist any form of way to get back together, you guys were broken up for a reason, as long as you remind yourself of the hurt it will get easier to resist the urge to reach out. If you still have feelings for him you will tend to remind yourself of all the good in the relationship, but also consider how much of the good was only due to the effort you put in. If you know someone is bad for you, resist all urges to back into that toxic relationship.
- Be positive and hold no grudges over him, to move on you will need to forgive and forget. Let the past be in the past, while you take bold steps, creating a beautiful future for yourself without the baggage of a toxic relationship. There is no harm in maintaining a positive or neutral stance when it comes to your ex, you can always take the higher road and avoid gossip. This helps you to move on faster as your past fades away over time.
A Message To The Girl Who Broke Her Heart
To the girl who got her heart ‘broken’, you will not able to trust him immediately, it will take time and effort from his side. Do not settle, if he is back he must be ready to prove to you by action why he deserves a second chance.
It does not have to be grand gestures, instead, look for his day-to-day behavior to judge and understand if he is worth it.
And lastly, if you do take a chance on him, I wish you all the best and appreciate all that you do to keep this relationship alive.