Why Are Guys Scared Of Long-Distance Relationships?

Adhideb Ghosh
Why Are Guys Scared Of Long-Distance Relationships
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Relationships will always need a lot of work, but when you are asked if long-distance is an option, is it worth it? or is it scary?

Guys are scared of long-distance relationships due to feeling insecure. There are issues like communication gap, anxiety, fear of infidelity, or loneliness. You have to understand how these elements affect your relationships to know why guys are scared of long-distance relationships.

Is a long-distance relationship scary? It depends on who you ask. Men do have a fear of long-distance relationships. You can blame it on fear of infidelity or some just do not want to commit without connecting in person. In this article, we see ways to overcome the fear of long-distance relationships.

Romantic letters sent across the world between two lovers might be enough for them to reunite in the movies, however, the reality is very different. Any man would immediately process the words long-distance as this huge barrier to intimacy.

Of course, there are arguments like how mental compatibility also leads to the mind’s intimacy but to be fair that happens in a normal relationship too.

So What is it about the Long-Distance that Scares Men?

Let's find out!

Is There A Future?

Relationships can become quite complicated when there is a lack of communication, it’s a part and parcel of every relationship. Add distance into the equation and the situation gets a lot tougher.

Often it is seen that long-distance couples find it harder to communicate due to the distance barrier. So the question is there a future with such challenging terms to commit to will weigh on the mind. 

Uncertain Elements

A long-distance relationship has a lot of elements one has to consider to bridge the gap created. Say a couple can meet every four to six months, elements that keep you connected become increasingly important.

The element could be something as basic as an internet connection. If anything disrupts any of these elements it affects the relationship. In a long-distance relationship, uncertain elements can create a risk. 

Being Away From A Loved One

Relationships can create anxiety about being away from a loved one for a long time. You may not know when will be the next time to see them. Feeling lonely is not acceptable to most of us.

Imagine social meets, parties, or events one misses out on as your loved one is away. If your loved one lives overseas you will worry about issues like pandemics or riots that are out of your control and may feel helpless.  

Fear Of Infidelity

A single woman is likely to have more pursuers than an average single male, blame it on the sex ratio of a few countries or the fact that men will be men. This creates a sense of insecurity.

Though the thought, long-distance relationships have a higher risk of infidelity has no merit, the fear men feel from it is very real. Trust is tested often in a long-distance relationship and so many insecurities if any should be discussed as early as possible.

Lack Of An Emotional Connection.

Most people don't find a connection just through a networked device, Skype or facetime may not be enough, as face-to-face conversations help you connect better. Relationships also act as a support system, being physically away takes a part of that care you could get in a normal relationship.

Emotional connect is especially crucial in a new relationship, it takes time to nurture the trust and understanding needed for a long-distance relationship. So most men try to avoid this uncertainty of not having a connection.

Lack Of Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is a very important aspect of any relationship. Now, it is not impossible to live without it but imagine will you be willing to make the sacrifice when you can have a perfectly normal relationship.

The parameters are then judged on the time spent together or how serious you are, but most men would not be willing to take such a decision over a recent relationship.  

Fear of Making Sacrifices

Imagine all your friends are going out with their partners, while you feel left out.  Such situations can be uncomfortable and it results in sacrificing a part of your social life.

Sacrifice is a part of long-distance relationships whether it's missing them in person or about the inability to connect whenever you want. Men are generally fearful of such sacrifices especially if they deem the effort not worth it.

Fear of Losing Interest

Most guys believe that their partners will eventually lose interest in their lives. The reason for this fear is the gap in communication. It is often observed that most long-distance relationships fall apart due to losing interest in each other.

Distance is a factor, not being able to do things together blur the lines of interest that the couple had once shared. Living individual identities from a distance leads to very different experiences with various new interests, with so many things going on there can be a misunderstanding about losing interest in each other's lives. 

Things You Can Do To Overcome The Fear Of A Long-Distance Relationship

So having said a few reasons as to why men are scared of long-distance relationships, we can now discuss how to break into the long-distance conversation with your partner.

Don't Avoid the Conversation

Partners tend to avoid getting into long-distance talk. It is scary to breach a topic that means a lot to you, especially when you don't know their thoughts. Here are a few steps to ease you into the “talk”: 

Step 1: Analyze the degree of seriousness of your relationship.

A sapling takes time and care to grow, similarly, a relationship has to be nurtured in time. Generally, most of us avoid a long-distance relationship if the relationship is not that serious.

You need to ask yourself, how serious are you? A long-distance relationship has its fair share of challenges so the more serious you are the more likely you are to succeed. This step helps you understand that one should not have a very casual approach to a long-distance relationship.

Step 2: Ask the necessary questions.

You should know that not everyone is comfortable in a distant relationship, so you have to ask the necessary questions. Find out their views on connecting over the internet. Or if you live across countries, ask yourself if both of you are financially sound to fly over to meet each other.

You should also get to know if distance makes them anxious, the importance they place on physical intimacy. Asking these questions may help you gauge an idea of your partner's willingness to go long-distance.

Step 3: Decide how to take things forward.

After step 2 you have a vague idea of your partner's thoughts, If they are responding positively to long-distance then you can go forward and ask if they are ok with going for it. If however, they respond negatively or avoid getting into the topic you can try talking it out and see how you want to move forward. This step is of careful consideration and you should take your time to decide. 

Be Financially Independent

Money matters, especially in a long-distance relationship. There are expenses that are not considered in a normal relationship. Covering travel expenses to meet up frequently is important.

It cannot be just a connection over the phone. Looking at it from a crisis point of view, you need to have the bandwidth and financial capacity to respond to any kind of problems that may crop up. 

Be More Confident

If your partner has decided to go for a long-distance relationship, trust them. You need to understand that if your partner is willing to make the same sacrifices as you then they are serious about you. So fear of infidelity or similar reasons should not affect your relationship adversely.

Always remember that although your partner may have many pursuers they chose you. Be more confident about yourself as insecurities are a mental projection of your fears, overcome this fear with trust and it will not affect you.

Plan A Routine And Stick To It

Spending time together can be a challenge at times. It takes time to get used to connecting only through the internet. Most of us miss our loved ones terribly during this time. Make a routine once things settle down a bit and try to follow the routine.

However, the routine should not be rigid and consider each partner’s situation. You may not be able to always do it but all things good are worth the effort. If a routine exists and you are not able to call for some reason some days, I am sure your partner will understand. You can then continue from there. 

Be Comfortable With Giving Space

In any long-distance relationship, you will feel at times that there is a lack of communication or the relationship has lost its luster. Firstly, it is not that anything has changed. It is likely that not being able to spend time physically, has created a void and we subconsciously try to fill it by asking for more attention.

It’s human to feel so and therefore you need to understand the importance of giving space. Accept the fact that things will change and it will not be possible for you to spend as much time together.

Respect that both of you have individual identities that need their own space to develop. Once you can do so comfortably the relationship improves as trust is built through understanding each other's viewpoint.

Men are scared of long-distance relationships and for reasons that should be taken into consideration for a longer and healthier relationship. You will often come across success stories, so one should not be discouraged and follow their hearts and go for it. All you need to do is have an understanding of the underlying reasons that make men scared of a long-distance relationship and you will be able to deal with such a situation should it arrive in your life. 


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