I have researched enough on relationships issues by now. To be honest I never thought of focusing on this particular topic. I have avoided this situation in real life, but it dropped straight into my lap. So, instead of ignoring it this time, I thought about writing on the same.
Why does a guy have so many female friends? What does it mean? How will I not feel insecure if he is always surrounded by girls? I can go on answering these questions in long paragraphs after dating my current boyfriend for five years now. Well, speaking from experience, it does not particularly mean anything bad or wrong, if a guy has many women friends. Many men have girlfriends more than I do! I hope you can imagine the kind of insecurities, challenges, and possessiveness I have faced early in my relationship.
So now if you ask me what does it mean for a guy to have a lot of female friends then I would say: It means really nothing. Having a lot of female friends means that the women find the guy attractive, smart, and friendly. Having numerous female friends may lead to some specific sort of relationship with some of them in some rare cases but usually, it never leads to anywhere.
However, this situation can be quite challenging for women who are new to experiencing such a situation. Ignoring your guy and this situation will only make things worse and stressful. So, let’s sit and talk about it in-depth about what it means to be with a guy, who is surrounded by all-female friends.
The Psychology Of The Male Mind On Having Mostly Female Friends
To find out why exactly a man has more female friends in his group rather than male friends, we need to understand his psychology. The mindset of a man is very different from a woman. Not all of them will prefer to mingle and have bro-codes in their friend circle.
A man coming from this mindset and a woman approaching from “men and women can be just friends” is bound to clash with one another. To be specific, no matter how cool a woman tries to be in her relationship with a man, she will grow insecurities if her boyfriend is always surrounded by women.
I want to share a real-life example with you to make you understand the situation better.
My high school friend Alex has grown up in the countryside with his cousins who were mostly girls. In high school, he started with me as his first woman friend. As days passed by, I saw him getting more comfortable with girls in my group. He was the only man in a group of seven girls. Please note, that he was all genuinely friendly with all of us and never attempted to flirt or engage in creepy actions.
I have asked my girls a lot of times about the same. All of them had the same opinion that Alex made us feel comfortable, heard, understood, and solved all our problems just like that. I would also like to mention that he was a confident, handsome hunk in high school and not gay!
Alex had a few male friends too, but he loved speaking to us more. When I approached him with this question on my mind, his reply was surely unexpected!
As per Alex, he did not enjoy watching football, cricket, or any other sports or shows that other men loved. He also was unable to develop meaningful friendships with other boys in high school. This made him choose female friends over males.
Well, you see his honesty, compassion, good listening, well dressing up, and not being creepy made women appreciate his presence. There can be possibly a thousand reasons why a guy does not enjoy the company of other men and mostly it is a personal choice.
Not all guys are creeping or hold bad intentions towards women. If your man is surrounded by female friends and he is doing all of it in front of you, he is honest. Yes, the fact is true that as his girl you will feel insecure. But, at the same time, you have nothing to worry about.
Instead be proud that he is a reliable, honest, and loving man. His personality is simply such that women tend to gravitate towards him.
Is There Any Problem With Men Having Female Friends?
After understanding men’s psychology you should get that men can have pretty good female friends. However, when in a relationship this friendly approach of a man with so many women can be a problem sometimes!
Now, this situation will not be a problem for all males existing on earth. It varies from person to person. However, looking from a relationship point of view, let’s find out why guys having lots of female friends can be a problem?
As I mentioned earlier, a male mind can think from an unexpected perspective while having female friends around. However, when in a romantic relationship, the company of more than necessary girls can act as a red flag.
Though a woman may feel insecure or possessive, these feelings are still controllable and will not create much mess if the man is honest and loyal by actions. However, the attitude of a man approaching his female friends, body language, his words, and his actions will reveal more of his honest intentions.
Sometimes, men behave over-friendly or try to engage in some healthy flirting or may even go to be physically touchy with female friends. It is obvious that his having female friends is now gonna be a “problem” to his girl.
Also, many relationship coaches question the healthy boundaries a person should have when they befriend people of the opposite sex. There should always be a fine line when a man is romantically engaged and he has enough female friends around him at the same time.
A man having female friends will create no problem if he knows how to prioritize his romantic relationship and build healthy boundaries with these friends. Mutual understanding, respect, and acceptance play a crucial role in such situations.
A man needs to understand where his partner can feel uncomfortable by the company he is keeping. The woman on the other hand needs to be understanding and respecting enough to accept her partner and his friends.
Why Does A Woman Get Jealous Of Her Man’s Female Friends?
Though it never means anything bad or suspecting if your boyfriend keeps the close company of quite some females. But, it will cause clash, insecurity, and jealousy. This is natural and simple human nature and there is absolutely nothing to get worried about.
However, as ignorance only polishes the doubts more and more, let’s take time to sit with it and evaluate the situation.
If your man too got a lot of female friends, here are some questions you should ask yourself about all that you are feeling:
Are You Trying To Be A Cool Girlfriend?
Being a woman I understand how your alarm turns red and rings when you see him with a female friend. In this case, as he has an entire group to accompany him often, your alarm can burst if you do not control your thoughts!
Jealousy is a strong emotion. No matter how hard a woman tries to be “a cool girlfriend”, someone or the other from his female friend group turns on the stress alarm.
This is right where ladies need to peep inside and look for an ego-check! Are you indeed jealous of another woman from your guy’s friend group? OR all your heightened emotions of stress, anxiety, and doubts are sprouting from self-insecurity!
Are You Facing Some Major Trust Issues?
Being a woman, I understand the situation when another woman is turning her head towards our man! Ladies, I know you will be nodding your head reading this statement itself. However, If your man has a company of female friends and you are not well off comfortable with this situation, it is time to question “Who is that I do not trust?”. If you do not trust your guy being loyal to the relationship amendments that you share, why are you bothering yourself with a baseless relationship? OR if you do not trust the intentions of these women your guy has got all around him, it is time to sit and talk about it.
Get me clear and loud, STRESS AIN’T TAKING YOU ANYWHERE! Therefore, rather than doubting, have clear communication if you are unable to trust the actions of your man.
Are You Listening To Your Gut Feeling?
You know ladies, they say “Gut feelings are spirit guides!”. Never try to reject a strong gut feeling. I repeat NEVER! If you have a gut feeling that your man is having an affair with one of his female friends or he keeps using the phrase “we are just friends” when you ask him about this one female friend, it is time to get your investigation mode on and dig deeper. If his actions, behavior, attitude keep signaling you otherwise, it is wise to walk out of a relationship.
Is Your Man Trying To Trigger You?
How well do you know your man? Has he had a past of cheating or being with multiple women at the same time? If yes, it is important to notice the red flags in a relationship. He may have promised you forever and happily ever after. However, if his actions are speaking otherwise with a woman you suspect, he is trying to gaslight you.
Ladies, let me come again and this time even louder. It is never wise to stress yourself being with the wrong man in a wrong relationship. Know when to leave with your head high.
What Does Your Guy Feel About Your Emotions?
As I mentioned earlier, it can mean a lot of different things if a man has a lot of female friends. It can sometimes be simply a cool, healthy, genuine share of friendships. OR, he can be using the “just friends” code to escape from an existing relationship, enjoying the company of too many girls at a time. The friend circle a person keeps is completely a personal choice and will keep varying for all the readers on this post.
However, how your guy particularly feels about this situation or how he responds when you speak your truth about being jealous/possessive/insecure in the relationship, will reveal more about his genuine intentions.
Signs A Woman Should Worry About Her Guy’s Female Friends
It is natural for any man to have a life beyond their relationship only. However, a blazing number of friends from the opposite sex is not something ladies appreciate in a man.
If the last questions raised further curiosity in you about your guy and the female company he keeps, here are some signs for you to be worried about:
- You guy is in constant communication with his female friends. Over the call, texts, or social media platforms, their communication is non-stop. If he spends most of his time with these female companions even while you two are spending quality time, consider it a red flag.
- Ask your friends and family about what they feel from a third-person point of view. If they have found something fishy with your man and his female company, take it as a suggestion and dig deeper.
- His female friends dislike when you are around him. Their behavior, attitude, words reflect a block towards you. It is time for you to question why his female friends will do so?
- You guy may be a gentleman and holds all honest intentions towards his female friends. But, is that the same in your absence? Or does he tries out all “healthy” flirting ways with these ladies when you are not around?
- If your man shares a past with any or more of these female friends, you got something to worry about here. Being a friend with an ex-lover is still okay, but overdoing the friendship, constant chatting, spending time together is never something to be appreciated.
- Watch how your boyfriend behaves if any of the girls in his friend’s ground is in trouble or getting engaged. If he is overly possessive towards any one of them or dislikes when any of them has a boyfriend, it’s high time to question this attitude!
All these points are possible reg flags when a guy has a lot of female friends. However, let me repeat, the WHY behind female company a man keeps will always vary from one person to another. It is never wise to judge someone without proper information about him.
So, ladies, it will never mean anything wrong or upsetting if your guy has so many female friends around him. But, it is always better to be honest, and real about the way you feel being his girl. Speak your truth and never settle for anything less than you deserve!