My Ex Doesn't Want To Be Friends Anymore: Here's Why!

Your ex doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore because they are seeing someone else who might not be very comfortable with the idea of their partner being friends with their ex. The residual feelings of not being in a relationship with that person but staying in contact can affect other relationships in incomprehensible ways. It is best to cut off ties for good.
Medha Sureka
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Friendship knows no boundaries. Friendship is more precious than love. Lovers come and go; friends stay. You can be friends with someone before you decide to date them; you can also be friends with someone after you decide that you do your bond more justice in terms of friendship. 

It was all decided, and everything was happening smoothly. You had dated that person, and when you felt that it was not keeping up with the spark, you decided to be friends. But then, out of the blue, they text to tell you that they can no longer continue to be in touch with you. They deny you their friendship.

This can make things uncomfortable and might even steal the peace of your mind. You can neither focus on your work nor spend quality time with your partner because you are sadly musing on your ex’s sudden decisions.

Think no more! We are here to figure out the possible reasons why your ex decided to discontinue their friendship with you and how you can tackle the situation without losing your calm.

Reasons Why Your Ex Don’t Want To Be Your Friend

While there can be many possible reasons for your ex to decide one day not to be friends with you anymore, the most common one is the influence of another person. 

This other person must be someone they hold very close to their heart or someone they use to make or inspire a change in their lives. 

It could be someone they are seeing, or it could be their best friend, or it could be their therapist. I have listed below the most popular reasons for your ex to decide out of the blue not to be friends with you any longer.

#1 They Still Love You 

They don't want to be friends with you anymore because they still hold more than friendly feelings for you. 

While you might be seeing someone else in your life, and you might have moved on in your life, they are having a difficult time doing it, and they still love you.

#2 They Miss You 

They miss you so much that just being friends with you is not helping them out, and missing you is creating troubles in their domain.

#3 They Want To Forget You 

They want bygones to be bygones so that they can erase history and forget all the connections and the times they have spent with you. 

Hence, their decision not to be friends with you is a desperate attempt to forget you.

#4 They Are Depressed 

They are undergoing mental instability and depression, and they might be having nightmares or complete recollection, time and again, of all the times you have spent together.

They think that being with you is only escalating it rather than helping them out, so they decide to cut all ties with you.

#5 They Are Following Their Therapist’s Advice 

Mental health is one's priority these days, and one might be seeing a therapist. It is common to see one after a breakup or having some personal or social life problem. 

It might not be directly related to you, but in a way, circularly, it might be that he is still hooked upon you, and his therapist is the one who has realized it and has advised him to break all ties with you.

#6 Their Lover Doesn’t Like You 

It might be that it has not really got anything to do with you or even with them on this note. It's more to do with the person they see at the moment.

There might have been some awkward moments between them that made their current lover whisper in their ears to stop being friends with you any longer.

#7 You’re Dating Again 

You are dating again, making it difficult for them to be friends with you. While thinking about being your friend, they might have thought that there might be some scope to get into a relationship with you again and that you guys are taking a break or something in the future.

But now that you have moved on and you are seeing other people, they want to do the same, and for that, they need to forget the time they have spent with you, even to the extent that you exist.

#8 You’re Dating Their Friend 

Your ex is mad at you because you are dating one of their friends. It might be that they had a misunderstanding that if you guys ever wanted to date again, it would be to one another and not to somebody else.

It may be because they are either too naive or your love is too young, and all they need is some time before they understand the way of the world.

#9 They’re Dating Your Friend 

It is not as much about you as it is about them. They are perhaps dating your friend, and they think that it is either going to be awkward or they are scared for some reason. 

It might even be that it's your friend's take on this. They have decided to make your ex not continue the friendship any longer.

#10 They’re Getting Married 

It is also possible that life is happening fast for them, and they are into a serious relationship and planning to settle down due to which they want to break all ties from their past, which might have some potential to ruin their present to destroy their future.

It is not just about you, but all the relationships they might have had in the past, and they are breaking ties with everybody all at once.

#11 They’re Trying To Move On 

Your ex does not want to be friends with you anymore because they are trying to move on in their life and let go of all things that belong to the past.

They do not want to participate in the narration of departure and departed. They are preparing themselves for new arrivals, and you might just want to do the same.

#12 You Were Cheating On Them 

It might be that months after the breakup and continuing their friendship with you, all of a sudden, they have discovered that while you saw each other, you were double dating or cheating on them. 

It dawned upon them that the breakup was a facade to cover up the truth beneath. If you indeed cheated on them, then you might want to give them a note of apology. If not, then clear things out and tell them the truth.

#13 They’re Hurt

They may be hurt for some unknown reason, for some unconscious mistake that you might have made, some remark or comment that you have made about them in their absence.

Should You Convince Your Ex To Be Your Friend? 

You can give it a shot if you are fond of them but stay prepared to feel detected. Don't keep your hopes too high. At least for the time being, they might neither understand you nor appreciate your presence in their life. The right time can mend everything, but if the time is wrong, no matter how pure your intentions might be, things will only go wrong.

Is Your Ex Your True Friend? 

If your ex is not your best friend, you must not have a lot of trouble letting them go. The best person to seek help or rest your head would be your best friend. Ask them what they think about it. They love and genuinely care for you. They have also known about you and know each of your behavior patterns. They will be able to give you deeper insights into your current situation.

What Should You Do When Your Ex Breaks Their Friendship With You?

It is never wise to break a friendship. No matter what kind of friends you are, who you are friends with. The feeling of comradeship that you share is one of the best feelings in the world. Before making any hasty decision, take your time and try to understand and try to make them understand the importance of this precious bond.

It is best to find an alternative solution than break your friendship with someone you have known for so long. I have listed below a few things that can be done to fix it right.

#1 Give Them Space

The most important thing to do when a person is trying to break all ties with us is to allow them some space. This will give them an understanding of how important you are in their life, and if you indeed hold some significance in their life, then after a while, they might just come back to you and apologize for the behavior. And if they do not return, trust me, you are better off without them.

#2 Tell Them You Will Still Have Their Back

If your ex wants to break all ties with you and does not want to be your friend anymore, just give them the surety that whether in talking terms or not, you shall have their back cannot be their trust even in their absence.

This will make them value you, and it will also help them overcome any misunderstanding or botheration that might have kept them occupied for so long.

#3 Tell Them Your Bond Is Stronger Than Voluntary Relationship

Acknowledge that the two of you remaining friends, even after breaking up as lovers, have had some significance in both of your lives, and even if you voluntarily choose to go about in your ways, involuntarily, you shall always remain connected with strings attached.

#4 Remind Them The Strength Of Your Friendship

A reminder about the strength of your friendship shall take them a long way ahead and help them make firmer decisions for the future. It's not for nothing that you have come along so far, and it can be continued for another many numbers miles in the future.

#5 Value Their Choice

You cannot force a person to be friends with you. If they choose not to be with you, value their choice. Always remember, if they feel they are better off without you, you too are at a better station in life without them.

Never make your life crowded with people who don't appreciate your presence. Your self-worth should always be your priority. All your feelings can follow later.

#6 Ask Them The Reason

Ask them straight what has changed so much that they had to make such a decision and create distance. Try to understand their point of view. If you agree with them, then acknowledge it; if not, tell them how you feel about it before bidding the final goodbye.

#7 Do A Background Study Of Their Partner

If it is likable, their partner influences them to make such decisions. This might mean that they are not dating the right type of person. 

If you still have a soft corner for your ex, do a background study of the person they are seeing and if you discover something mysterious about them, then reveal it to your ex. If not, then keep sailing along with the wind effortlessly.

#8 Tell Them There's No Coming Back

Make it clear to them that leaving you like that can be their choice, but there's no coming back from there. Do not be available for them and accept them with open arms. Don't be so understanding lest your self-worth is underestimated.

#9 Give Them A Last Hug

A parting hug could speak a thousand words. Even if you feel emotional, say it with a hug. If they have made up their mind, there's not much you can do from your side either. A hug could have lasting effects.

#10 Give A Parting Present

Before bidding them the final goodbye, give them something that will make them remember all the good times. A souvenir, especially when handcrafted, could be memorable. Do something creative, for the last time for a used to be special someone.

#11 Return Their Belongings

If you are parting ways, do it right. Don't keep anything with you that might haunt you later. Return their belongings before bidding them farewell.

#12 Delete Their Number

There's no point in keeping their contact saved if they have already decided to cut off all ties with you. If you would keep their digits registered when you feel low, you might want to ring them up or have the urge to send them an essay-like message. Refrain yourself from doing any such thing.

#13 Unfollow Them On Social Media

If they can't be your friend, there's no point in staying connected with them on social media platforms. It will only escalate the trouble. Remove them as followers and stop following them at the same time. Delete all your previous chats and detoxify yourself right for such toxic persons.

#14 Delete Their Photos

Do not keep their photos anywhere in your gallery. Be it your cellphone or your laptop or your frames, remove it at once. Don't keep scope for anything that can trigger you in the future. When you have been asked to break all ties, do it right.

#15 Make New Friends 

If they can't be friends with you, you can always move on to new sets of people. The world is so populated, not without any reason. Make new friends and create new memories so that you don't get time to muse on your past.

Summing Up

If your ex doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore, don’t overreact. These are the matters of the heart. One can hardly control it voluntarily with one’s words. They can choose not to talk to you, ghost you or become indifferent to you. However, one can never steal memories that you created together. 

At the end of it, it’s on you to make the right call. There is no point in begging them to stay in your life or be the needy one here. Detoxify yourself of such people.

You can keep their memories for recollection in the future but get rid of their belonging, their photographs, their number, and anything material that can make it difficult for you to move on. Make new friends, have fun but most of all, remember to embrace yourself and be your own master.


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