Jealousy: It’s a very common term among couples especially those who’ve recently come into relationships. New relationships are all sweet, exciting, fun, and happening but not deep. Initially, people don’t tend to know each other deeply and it leads to doubts and eventually jealousy.
Jealousy is a gender-neutral emotional phenomenon and works a bit differently for men and women. I know many men who are tired of acting paranoid and being okay with their girlfriend hanging around with a male bestie. Many men who are often less expressive and try to avoid drama, will also develop anxiety and stress from jealousy, insecurity, and self-doubt.
If you have found your way to this blog, then perhaps you get jealous of your girlfriend’s guy friend. Look, Jealousy is a natural human emotion that will reflect if you are with a girl who you genuinely feel for. Accepting one’s jealousy around girlfriend’s bestie is the first milestone that you have already achieved making it to my page.
Now if you ask me why do you get jealous of your girlfriend’s guy friend and how you can stop it, I would say, Jealousy is a result of low-self esteem and insecurity. If you get jealous of your girlfriend’s guy friend, maybe you’re suffering from low-self esteem or feel insecure about your girlfriend either in the conscious or subconscious mind. To control jealousy, you’ve to work both on yourself and your relationship in a mature way.
So, hopefully, you’re getting that working on your jealousy towards your girlfriend’s guy friend is more of an inner work rather than any exterior drama.
In this article, I will help you identify, understand and put an end to this jealous attitude that rages inside you. Read the article thoroughly, analyze your tendencies carefully, and make yourself free from jealousy forever by following the mentioned methods.
Understanding The Root Cause Of This Jealousy
Look, as I mentioned earlier, the root of all kinda jealousy is nothing but low self-esteem and insecurity. But most of the time, this low self-esteem and especially the feelings of insecurity come from some stereotypical thoughts that are gradually pushed into our thought process by society.
A girl and a guy can never be best friends. It’s the most stereotypical code that movies, web series, our friends, family, and everyone has fed our minds with since our young days. So much so that the concept of a girl being “just friends” with a guy becomes alien to us, especially when the girl is your girlfriend.
Remember the scene from the famous Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when Ron wore the Horcrux around his neck only to end up seeing his ultimate fear of Harry and Hermione making out! The genuine friendship between Harry and Hermione is a real goal, but for Ron, it was a mental war to fight it and win!
I often notice my readers overlook the truth by themselves. But always remember, jealousy, though negative, is a genuine human emotion that needs to be acknowledged without any shame.
However, a person is not jealous when they are in love. A person is jealous because they are living with unacknowledged insecurities and the fear of losing their girlfriend to any other guy friend whom she hangs out with. The unhealthy internal conflicts do more damage to your otherwise healthy relationship with your girlfriend.
I thus suggest my dear readers to not polish their ignorance around what they genuinely feel towards the guy bestie of their girlfriend. It will be a better and wiser option to openly converse about your feelings and clear the air with your girlfriend.
So as of now, you knew about the fundamental cause of jealousy, now let's dive deep and see how to stop being jealous of your girlfriend's guy friend.
How Can You Stop Being A Jealous Boyfriend?
You are not the only one who is stuck between feeling jealous towards the girlfriend’s guy friend and not being able to speak the truth about how it actually feels, fearing those judging eyes. I have had friends and family who faced similar situations in the early stages of their relationships.
Jealousy has several outcomes, it may be fighting over silly issues, may even lead to breakups. But the deadliest outcome of jealousy is the feeling of being guilty. It hurts the most when you want but can’t help yourself to stop being jealous. So, male jealousy doesn’t only ruin the connection with the girlfriends but also stings the mind in a bitter way.
That’s why it becomes the first necessity to know the methods of how you can stop yourself from being jealous of your girlfriend’s male friend. jumping straight to the point, here are some of the most appreciated ways through which you can stop being a jealous boyfriend.
Trust More In Your Relationship
If you’re in a committed relationship and she loves you as much as you love her, then I would suggest throwing your insecurities out of the window and enjoy this relationship ride with her. Of course, easier said than done, but not all women who have a guy friend will cheat on you.
Especially, when her actions reveal her true intentions and commitment towards this relationship with you, you better trust her.
Trust is the very base of any relationship. Learning to trust your partner is a whole new skill. It will challenge you through a lot of question marks and cloudy skies. But if two-person come from a place of mutual respect and understanding, trust will make it through any storm.
Work on building better trust in your relationship and your girlfriend. Jealousy will puff off in no time.
Accept And Validate Yourself
The second thing that I have witnessed that both men and women do is invalidate themselves and what they feel deep within their hearts. Jealousy, though a negative feeling should be acknowledged and accepted. Acceptance is the first step towards anything that you would like to heal.
Accept your insecurities, fears, anger, or any other emotions that you feel, and be gentle with yourself. Once you have accepted all these, speak your truth to your girlfriend and make room for healthy conversations to solve this problem.
You may come to a mutual understanding and set healthy boundaries for and around your relationship that both should respect and maintain. Let friendships stay at a certain distance that won't harm your relationship.
Stop Surreal Imagination
Women are not the only ones who overthink. Oftentimes men also wrap their heads around doubts, misunderstanding, and overthinking. This leads to hyping of an otherwise simple situation, resulting in toxic relationship patterns, fights, drama, and much more.
My dear men, I request you to not let the horse run, way too far in your mind. Look at the truth for what it is and not what your insecurities make it look like.
Also, if you feel that there is something wrong with your girlfriend’s friendship with her guy friend, talk it out! When you stop imagining the possible doubts and have clear communication, half the problem, drama, and toxicity are already solved.
Jealousy plays mind games with us and the ego makes you look inferior when compared to this guy friend of your girlfriend. This is called self-sabotaging when you feel inferior. Your girlfriend chose you as a partner over all her guy friends because she resonates with you.
I understand how doubts and anxiety, jealousy, and internal war can make us sabotage ourselves. Feeling jealous of a trusted partner can also feel like a pang of heavy guilt to many men out there. Thus, instead of self-sabotaging, accept that you feel a certain way and find ways to solve the problem rather than ignoring it in the first place.
If you really think your girlfriend is doing something unethical that she shouldn’t and you wanna stop feeling jealous about her activity, then the best way is to speak up about your feelings to her. Always remember, she’s in a relationship with you because you matter to her.
So, learn to communicate clearly and be sharp with your words but humble to influence her mind. In relationships, all the problems can be solved through proper communications, no matter how complicated those are.
Heal Your Past Wounds
Every one of us has some or other mental and emotional wounds from past relationships, childhood trauma, or any other strong situation.
Facing something similar in a relationship with your girlfriend and her guy friend will often trigger the past wounds and make us stressed, defensive, angry, and create chaos. So no matter how mature you are and where you stand in your relationship right now, heal yourself.
Heal from any traumatizing past breakup, wounded childhood, or abuses that you have faced at different stages in your life. It is important to not let these past wounds control your present and an otherwise happy, blooming relationship. Ron had to face his fears and battle his insecure thought process around Harry and Hermione, right!
Act From Faith And Not Fear
Have faith in the connection with your girlfriend and do not act from fear. Fear sprouts from negativity within, when we do not trust the person or this connection there is no point continuing it. Even if she is too close with this guy friend, you need to have faith that she chooses you for a reason.
We can’t force anyone to stay with us. What we can only do is to have faith in this process of discovering and experiencing the roller coaster ride of a relationship with them. Acting from fear of losing someone only makes things worse and keeps us stuck in a pattern of negative thought processes. So, win over your fear and do not let your ego tell you a negative story otherwise.
Make Mindful Choices
One last step that will help you stop being a jealous boyfriend is by making mindful choices. As by now you know almost all the reasons behind your jealousy, ask yourself one last question. Is there a real action that your girlfriend reflects with this guy friend that makes you jealous?
When it comes to love, no matter how much you love this person, you should always trust your gut feeling. Your gut will never lie about the real situation. It may happen in some cases that all your doubts will be proven right. One needs to keep their head calm in this situation and make the best mindful decision to walk out of the relationship at once.
Befriend Your Girlfriend’s Guy Friend
Learn to build a healthy relationship as friends with this guy who makes you feel jealous. Befriending someone opens fresh perspectives and establishes a better connection not only with your girlfriend but her guy friends as well.
The more you connect with others, the better you overcome all insecurities, fears, and frustration. You will also tend to understand this friend more and will see all doubts and jealousy wither away in no time. It is indeed a wise way to heal your relationship with your girlfriend as well.
So, as of now, you know what causes your jealousy and how to stop yourself. I always request my fellow men to not blame themselves for getting jealous. Self-blaming eventually results in such frustration that you can’t express it to anybody. So, treat your jealousy as a natural emotional phenomenon and deal with it casually, but maturely.
The rest will be easier for you. Best of luck. Wish you a happy dating and self-caring.
Here below, I’m mentioning a few related questions that my fellow men frequently ask when they get jealous of some of their girlfriend’s guy friends. I hope this will help you.
The answer to your question is YES! Jealousy is very natural in any romantic relationship. When you love someone or something and you fear losing the same thing from your life, It comes naturally like any other human emotion. However, it’s important to not let your relationship with your girlfriend overpower you as it may result in an unexpected breakup.
Yes, it’s totally okay to communicate your honest feelings with your girlfriend. Honest communication is the best resolution to all your relationship problems. However, your girlfriend needs to be in a mature state of mind to accept your truth and set healthy boundaries in a relationship to keep it in a healthy place for both of you.
It is normal and fine for your girlfriend to have many male friends. Friendships are common between opposite genders. It’s simply the stereotypical mindset that society has bragged for way too long that sprouts a thousand insecurities in our minds. The question marks eventually result in jealousy. But there is nothing wrong if she has male friends in her circle.
Potentially yes! Being jealous is a natural human emotion. However, when this jealousy turns into a habit and non-stop inner stress and trauma, this anger will reflect outside one way or the other. If you are always jealous and in a mode of constant mental conflict with your girlfriend’s guy friend, it is time to make all possible moves to heal the same.