Everything was going fine. You were going about your day; your boyfriend was busy with his own work, nothing seemed out of place. But as you fell asleep last night, you had a dream. And it was weird. You saw your boyfriend kissing another girl! KISSING ANOTHER GIRL!!!
You still can’t wrap your head around it, and it has left a sour taste in your mouth. You know it was just a dream, yet you are pissed at everything and can’t seem to get over it. It doesn’t only affect your mind and normal daily activities, but it also has a significant effect on your relationship.
Indeed it’s a very disturbing situation, and now you desperately want to know why you had such a bad dream. And most importantly, what does it mean when you dream of your boyfriend kissing another girl?
Our dreams can sometimes bring to the surface things that we have going in the back of our heads but wouldn’t acknowledge. Have you ever felt unworthy of having your man as your boyfriend? Have you ever looked at yourself and thought that you are no good?
Maybe you keep affirming that you love yourself and everything is going great… But do you actually feel that way? It can be your fears, doubts, worries, and your negative past experiences taking the form of dreams to draw your attention towards them.
I know that just those few lines are not enough to help you to deal with the confusing situation. That’s why in this write-up, I will be talking about the different reasons why you may have had the dream and what you can do about it.
Possible Reasons Why You Dreamt Of Your Boyfriend Kissing Another Girl
There can be quite a few reasons why you dreamt of your boyfriend kissing another girl. The most common reason is your doubts and insecurities. Are you constantly thinking that you are not good enough and comparing yourself to other women? Are you afraid of losing your boyfriend?
In the following point, I am going to make all of these things crystal clear for you. I know you’re pretty desperate to get over this situation and return to your normal state of mind. But unless you understand the specific reason behind the dream you had, you won’t be able to find a suitable solution to your situation. So, let’s focus.
Fears & Insecurities
Maybe you have always felt you lack the beauty, intelligence, or charisma that other women possess. Perhaps you subconsciously feel that you are undeserving, and there’s no reason why your boyfriend wouldn’t leave you if he finds someone better. Maybe you aren’t even aware of the underlying fears and self-limiting beliefs that you have.
Have you ever been made to feel unworthy, undesirable, or not good enough as a child or in the past? When you think you are not worthy of love, attention, or anything good, the fear that others won’t see any value in being with you is very strong.
Perhaps your guardians have told you that you are dumb or stupid and can’t do a thing right, or your friends once teased you about your looks and said you would never get a boyfriend.
Maybe your past relationships were disastrous, and now you keep worrying about your boyfriend not finding you attractive enough, cheating on you, lying to you.
Need For Attention & Security
Do you feel that your boyfriend is not giving you enough time and attention? Maybe you have felt that he has become distant and doesn’t love you the way he did before. Perhaps he is always on call, always busy with something or the other, and ignores your needs.
In the past, he would take you out for dinner or surprise you with tickets to amusement parks and other fun places. He would sit with you and listen to you talk for hours. He was so kind to you. But these days, he doesn’t even seem to care if you are sad or pissed. He says he has a lot of work to do, like he needs to meet the office deadlines… But you doubt, ‘is that true?’
Maybe your head is full of doubts. Is he really busy, or is the love fading? Is he not interested in you anymore? Will things not get better? What if he falls out of love with you? You want security in the relationship. You want him to be there for you, give you love and attention, and reassure you that he is always there.
But since you haven’t felt that way in a long time, you are constantly worrying and doubting everything. And those doubts are showing up in your dreams in the form of your boyfriend kissing someone else.
Were You Perhaps Interested?
How did you feel when you saw your boyfriend kissing another girl in your dreams? In most cases, one would feel angry, betrayed, and hurt. Or have a knowing that this is just a dream and wouldn’t bother much.
So, did you feel something similar? Or were you actually intrigued? Were you interested? Did you perhaps like it? I know it sounds crazy, but kindly bear with me.
We all have different fetishes, some of which we discover much later in life. Just because you have never thought about it doesn’t mean you cannot be into it! If that dream made you feel excited and teased, maybe you should look within and see if there are some desires within you that you haven’t noticed yet. Cast away the judgemental thoughts and embrace whatever comes up.
Recycling Thoughts/Things You Heard About
In today’s digital world, we are bombarded with information everywhere. We aren’t even aware of the amount of news, gossip, and trash entertainment that we consume daily. Open Instagram, and someone is talking about how boyfriends always lie and should never be trusted. Open Twitter, and someone just caught their dear partner cheating on them.
Maybe you saw a movie where the boyfriend cheated on his loyal girlfriend; perhaps you watched a show with a similar plot. Maybe you discussed it with a friend, and the topic stayed in your mind even when you moved on to do something else.
And because you had been thinking about boyfriends and their cheating, that’s what your subconscious mind held on to and projected as a dream when you slept!
If you remember thinking about such things in the past few days, maybe that’s the reason for your dream. It is not related to you or your boyfriend. It is just recycled thoughts and information.
What Can You Do About It?
Now you may say it was just a dream. Do you really need to prioritize that small thing? Remember, if that so-called ‘small’ dream hasn’t bothered you, you wouldn’t have landed straight on this page. And, whatever disturbs your mind, no matter it is a dream, it is no longer a small thing. So, you need to stay calm, pay attention to it, and get over it.
If the dream has left you feeling confused, afraid, and disturbed, ignoring it and trying to somehow just forget about it may not be a good idea. By understanding the root cause of the issue and working on it, you can actually heal it and stop it from recurring. The following points may help you in that entire process.
Sit With Yourself
It may be difficult at first. But sit with yourself. Put your phone and any other distractions aside. Make yourself comfortable and ask yourself what did you see and how did it make you feel.
Did you feel small, unworthy, or felt like you deserved the betrayal? Did you feel it is all your fault for not being enough? Ask yourself why do you feel so small? Why do you feel you are not enough? What may have caused you to have such beliefs about yourself? It may feel uncomfortable to think about hurtful things, but only when we face our fears, we rise above them.
Start A Journal
Journaling is an excellent way of keeping track of things, especially your emotions. Write down in detail about the dream you had, how it made you feel, how you have been feeling for days, your hidden pain that you don’t feel like sharing with anyone.
As you let your thoughts flow, you may notice a pattern. Maybe you will see you have been getting triggered by a specific thing; perhaps when your boyfriend ignores you, you feel like an abandoned child.
The more you allow yourself to be real and look at your emotions without judging them as being good or bad, the easier it will be for your hidden fears and insecurities to come up to be healed.
Go Within
As you go deeper and deeper, you may find yourself thinking about how you were hurt or felt abandoned and unloved as a child. You may feel anger and resentment. Maybe someone said no one will ever love you, or a friend called you ugly. Maybe your first love cheated on you and blamed you when you confronted him.
Remember to not judge yourself. You are good enough. Actually, you are amazing! What anyone else thinks about you can never define what you are. Allow whatever comes up to come up.
Acceptance & Healing
Everything can be healed with love, and no love is more significant than self-love! No matter what anyone told you, no matter who made you feel small or undeserving, you should know that you deserve everything good! You are lovable and kind, and caring.
I know it can be hard to accept and love ourselves when we have spent years seeing ourselves as flawed. If you can, please talk to a friend or a family member who understands you, loves you, and supports you. Or you may seek professional counseling. It is okay to do so.
Please seek help if you need it. Accepting, loving, and healing ourselves is the best thing we can do, not just for us but also for our loved ones.
As you heal, maybe you will find that all your doubts were false. You were just projecting your fears on your boyfriend when he is very much in love with you in reality. It will help you appreciate your relationship with him and also allow you to feel happy and safe.
Relax
If you have tried to think about things and nothing has really come up, or if you feel it was indeed a movie or drama you watched that led to that dream, it’s okay. You do not need to worry much. It may be a good idea to take a break from the virtual world and enjoy some time with your partner, friends, and family. Relaxing an overworked mind and giving it a break always helps.
Try Music and Aroma Therapy
If you are continuously having that bad dream and it is bothering you a lot, I would suggest you try the combination of music and aromatherapy. Both these things work as a fantastic healing element.
Go for any kind of essential oil which you would like the smell of, mix it with a little bit of water, and put it on your diffuser. Turn on the speaker, play some relaxing music on a soothing volume. Now turn the lights off, sit or lie, close your eyes and relax. Take deep breaths and get ready to see that magic.
This fantastic combo will not only heal your mind but also improve your bodily functions by removing all kinds of stress. You are going to have a beautiful sleepy night after this.
The Relation Between Our Subconscious Mind & Our Dreams
Our dreams mirror our inner realities. If we are worried, angry, or anxious, we usually get disturbing dreams. If we are happy and calm, our dreams also reflect calmness. Analyzing our dreams can be a great way of getting to know our subconscious minds better.
Now, What Is This Subconscious Mind?
To put it simply, the subconscious mind is an information bank. Everything you have learned and seen from the earliest days of your life until now, your memories, past experiences, conditioning, beliefs, traumas, and skills, are stored in the subconscious mind. It is called the subconscious mind because, as opposed to the conscious mind, you are not aware of it and its functioning as you go about your day.
So, What Is The Relation Between Our Subconscious Mind And Our Dreams?
Oftentimes in our dreams, we see people, places, and things from the past. A childhood memory may come up, or we may dream about someone whom we have been thinking about recently.
Sometimes, you may see absolutely bizarre things which make no literal sense at all! But when you look closely, they too have hidden meanings that can make you aware of how some deep-rooted things from the past are affecting you at the moment.
There are so many things going on in our minds that we aren’t even consciously aware of. And those things can get projected by the subconscious mind as dreams. Although we are not aware of the things going on in our subconscious, it is not impossible to tap into it. Once you tap into it, things and behavioral patterns become much easier to understand and change.
Maybe you get triggered when your work gets any negative feedback. It ruins your mood and makes you angry, and you don’t understand why! You may dream of your school teacher scolding you and your classmates laughing at you.
As you look into it, you may see that it all started in your childhood when you were always criticized and never appreciated for your work, no matter what you did.
You aren’t aware of it, but you are still holding on to that resentment from the past, and it is negatively impacting your career today. As you understand and accept it, appreciating yourself and healing the past, you stop getting triggered in the present.
I hope this blog provided you with all the answers you were looking for. If you recently had a dream about your boyfriend kissing another girl, and it has been bothering you, maybe you have certain fears and insecurities about yourself and this relationship.
You may be worried about him leaving you for someone ‘better’ or doubting his love for you. It can be a good idea to try to understand your fears better to overcome them. You deserve everything amazing! Love yourself, heal yourself, and spread love.
Thank you for this article