My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back (Do This)

Relationships are not a smooth ride. You will come across many bumps when you are in a relationship with another person.

However, when two people love each other decide to commit themselves to this relationship, things can be worked out.

But we can’t deny there are some problems which are a bit more itching than the others.

Jealousy, trust issues, possessiveness, and insecurity are major common traits of any relationship.

But an excessive amount of any of these traits can harm the relationship.

So, as partners, it’s very important to communicate clearly about the principles and ideologies you want and look for in a relationship.

When you two are on the same page, getting a solution won’t be a hard job at all. 

As partners, it’s your responsibility to trust each other as trust is the basis of any relationship.

You can only prove your honesty and build that trust factor in your relationship through your actions. 

What if a lack of trust and suspicion seeps into your mind. This is certainly not a healthy sign for your relationship. 

Many times, I have encountered guys who are worried because their girlfriends are talking to another guy. Well, it’s a free world.

One can talk to as many people as they want to. But things get tricky when the GF is talking behind his boyfriend’s back. 

If you are not doing anything wrong, why do you need to hide?

If I look from the girlfriend’s perspective, there can be many reasons. Some of them can actually be true.

So, should you worry and suspect your girlfriend even in a situation like this? 

Is It Wrong For Your Girlfriend To Talk To Another Guy?

She will have her own set of friends just as you do. There is nothing wrong with it. And when we have friends, we talk to them.

When you are in a relationship, you wish to be a part of your partner’s life. You would want your partner to share about her life, friends, and family with you.

So, if she tells you that she has guy friends whom she talks with, then you should be completely fine with that.

She is honest with you. And you can understand whether she is serious about this relationship or not. You will get that vibe.

Also, you need to show her that you trust her. You should never start suspecting her without knowing anything.

Rather you also be open to her and give her enough comfort that she shares with you everything. There would be no need to hide anything from each other. 

Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Talks To Another Guy Behind Your Back

Though it is normal but sometimes repetition of this type of activity might upset you. As a partner, you often feel that you have the right to know what’s going on in your GF’s life.

You want your GF to be frank with you, share her life with you, talk about her friends and family without any inhibition.

That even helps build trust and makes the two of you even more comfortable. 

You would first think, why would she hide it from me if there’s nothing wrong with it.

Also, when you have been pretty open about whom you talk to and whom you meet, be it a girl or a boy, you expect the same sort of behavior from your girlfriend. 

So, after finding out, you would come up with many reasons and wrap your head with illogical and unnecessary assumptions. 

Stop stressing out so much, and let us first dive in to find out the possible reasons when your girlfriend talks to another guy behind your back. 

#1 She Is Planning A Surprise For You

Girlfriends love to plan surprises for their boyfriends. Be it their birthdays, celebrating their anniversary, or Valentine’s day, they need a reason to plan a surprise.

When it’s a surprise, you would want it to keep it under the carpet until the big day reveal, right?

And our friends help us the most during such surprise times.

I had amazing support from my friends when I planned a surprise birthday party for my partner.

In such cases, you will talk to many friends and even a particular guy who can be your event manager or an old friend from college who can help you organize the whole thing.

So, your girlfriend is in the process of planning something really big and amazing for you. For that, she has been talking to a guy who will help her.

He can be an acquaintance, a friend from her gym, or a colleague from her workspace. She has kept it hidden not for any mal intentions but to surprise you.

She will reveal everything to you once the party is done. 

#2 She Is Talking To Her Ex

Don’t start a fight with her when you discover this. She can talk to her ex for several reasons.

I agree that she doesn’t need to hide it from you, but she doesn’t want to create unnecessary conflicts or tension in the relationship. 

Probably her ex contacted her. He can reach out to her to get his stuff back.

Also, if they had been in the same workplace or college, he can contact her to get some important information.

Again, if your girlfriend had stayed friends with her ex, then there is a chance that the two talk, but it’s a semi-formal conversation, and you don’t need to worry. 

If her ex texted her for a small thing, she would not disclose it because it is significant.

But things can be difficult when your girlfriend talks to her ex every day and night.

You always find her hiding her phone away from you, staying up late after you’ve slept, then she might still be interested in her ex.

This can happen when your girlfriend moves into a new relationship very soon after her past one.

Also, if she treats this relationship as a rebound, there are high chances she hasn’t forgotten her ex. 

#3 She Is On Tinder

If you thought people deleted Tinder after coming into a relationship, you are wrong.

Some couples at early stages choose to stay on Tinder even after they are in a relationship. Sometimes it is mutual. 

However, in your case, it can be one-sided, and you can find out that your GF is still on Tinder and talking to a guy from Tinder.

So, she is still exploring her options. She is not super serious about this relationship.

She will hide it from you because she doesn’t want her secrets to be revealed. 

#4 She Is Flirting

Having guy friends is normal. When there is pure friendship, you don’t need to worry. But then, we meet so many people either online or in our workplace or other places.

The guy talking to your GF perhaps had a crush on her. 

When she is in a relationship, she is expected to not respond to such behavior even if the hottest guy in the class flirts with her.

But if she enjoys these things and flirts back, she is frivolous about this relationship. 

She can be flirtatious in general. Or she is not getting the kind of comfort, compatibility she looks for in a partner in you and trying to get her source of happiness in others.

It can be a temporary phase that can be sorted out.

But if she continues to do so repeatedly, then you must rethink your relationship. 

#5 She Is Testing You

Your GF is testing you. If you have not been paying attention to her, she will get upset if you have not been giving her time.

When she sees a lack of effort on your end, and she is the one who always has to take the initiative to make the relationship work, then your relationship is going through a rough patch. 

So, at this point, she genuinely doubts you and your love.

She wants to see whether you are interested in taking this relationship forward.

Hence she is intentionally talking to another guy behind your back. And she wants you to find out. 

She wants to see how you react to it- do you get angry, upset, jealous, or does it not make any difference to you.

If you stay neutral in your emotions and expressions even after this incident, it would seem that you don’t care about her at all.

Even if you do it out of trusting her or giving your GF her own space, she would at least expect some conversation or reaction from you. 

#6 She Is Stalking You

Have you done something fishy? Did you ever give your GF to doubt you?

Well, then you are in a bit of trouble. When your GF can’t get the whole truth out of you, she has to find another way. 

She has gone through your social media and everything, yet she could not find anything.

So, she became friends with a guy who knows you and your whereabouts.

That guy will give her information, and obviously, she can’t disclose that to you. 

So, if you’ve done anything wrong to her or have hidden anything from her, you must tell her the truth. 

#7 She Wants To Take A Break

If you and your partner have gone through lots of fights and arguments, yet you could not find any solution or peace, then both of you will get weary at some point.

Probably, she has tried her best to make things work out, yet it has not been going in her favor.

So, now she is trying to find an escape. She is talking to another guy clearly because she feels this relationship has reached a standstill.

There is no future to it, and both of you are just trying very hard to hold onto something extremely fragile. 

She seriously wants to take a break and give this whole thing a second thought.

Meanwhile, her only source of getting away from this daily routine of fights is talking to that guy.

He is a rescuer to her at this time. 

#8 She Feels Distant From You

Many LDR couples go through this. They feel distant from each other. However, not just LDR couples, couples who stay together meet every day go through this phase as well.

If you and your GF are in an LDR, and there are many issues like time zone no frequent meetings, she can feel lonely and distant from you.

Her only refuge can be a guy who talks to her or meets her in this case.

Basically, she is filling up a void in her heart.

This doesn’t seem right on her part. If she is not happy with this relationship, she should be honest.

However, you can also try to talk to her, plan surprises for her, have virtual date nights with her, and make up for your physical absence.

Make her feel loved. 

#9 She Feels Unnecessary To Tell You

When you two have just started dating each other, she can take some time to open up completely.

At the early stages of the relationship, she is not okay with sharing everything with you.

She wants to see how things work out, whether it is a casual relationship or a serious one.

Right now, she wants to get more comfortable with you.

She feels this is not something very important to tell you, and even if you know by chance, there is no logic in making a fuss about this.

With time, she will be freer, sharing on her own. 

#10 She Wants To End The Relationship

She is not happy in this relationship, and she doesn’t want it to continue anymore. It is becoming a burden for her to carry on a dead relationship.

She is doing it deliberately, and she wants you to find out.

She wants a big and final fight that will end things forever. Although she could have told it simply to you, she does not want to drag again. 

What Should You Do When Your Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind Your Back?

Now, let’s see what you can do when you’re in a similar situation like this. 

Give her space

It’s fine if she is talking to another guy. She might have her world, and even she requires privacy as an individual.

So, rather than suspecting her, give her space. If there is nothing wrong, she will tell you sooner or later. 

Talk to her

If you’re upset with her behavior, if you feel that there was no need to hide anything from you because you have always been quite frank with her, then you should have a talk with her.

Ask her casulay about ther guy. Keep the tone of the conversation light and casual. She will open up to you.

Observe her

Observe her behaviors, her actions. If she is doing something wrong, her actions will speak so.

She will be hiding many things from you.

When you find inconsistencies in her words or logic, you will know that she is doing wrong. Or if she is planning a sweet surprise for you, she will be different in her behavior.

So, you must observe her carefully before accusing her. 

Listen to her explanation

You might be furious upon finding out such a thing about your GF. You can do many things impulsively, like blocking her, not talking to her for a week, etc.

But you must listen to her explanation. Let her explain at least once, and then you make your decision. It can be a different situation than what you had imagined. 

Be open to each other

If you don’t share things about your life and friends, she will also feel shy and awkward sharing them with you.

Once you become open and share things freely with her, she will also get a chance, to be frank with you. There will be no more hide-and-seek after that. 

Give her a chance

Don’t just assume things in your head and break up immediately. Give her an opportunity.

She might be flirting with another guy but if she is genuinely sorry for her action and asks for a second chance from you, let her.

Also, if you have uncaring, you must rectify your behavior. 

What You Should Not Do When Your Girlfriend Talks To Another Guy Behind Your Back

• Don’t block her. Blocking her won’t solve any problem.

• Don’t disrespect her. She has her reasons which you should listen to. Also, you should respect her choices.

• Don’t abuse her. When you find out, don’t bad mouth her or use abusive words. You should not hurt her or humiliate her by any means.

• Don’t contact that guy. When you contact that guy it shows there is no communication between you and your GF. So, talk to her first and don’t attempt to contact that guy and insult her. 

• Don’t go about asking other friends. Bringing a third person can ruin a relationship. Talk to her and be on the same page with her. There should be no miscommunication between you two. 

• Don’t do the same thing to make her jealous. If you feel that you will also talk to another girl behind her back and that would solve the problem, then you’re utterly wrong. Making the same mistake can’t bring any solution. 

Trust is a fragile thing. It takes years to build, and it can break within seconds. So be careful about what you do.

When you love a person, don’t give them a chance to be hurt or upset with you.

There will be problems between you two, but never make the problem your enemy.

Have conversations listen to each other; a solution will be there for sure.

Always remember, when there is a will, there is a way.